Wednesday, May 31, 2006
A whisper away from thirty, gorgeous Tess Hamilton has been the tennis world's top title holder and celebrity since she won her first championship at fifteen. Now the headline-making party girl is getting her first taste of mortality -- and bankruptcy -- thanks to new teenage phenom Gabrielle Fontaine. But it's Gaby's cool, calm, and all-too-collected brother and manager, Max, who really has Tess seeing double. He's the first man she can't seem to seduce -- or intimidate. It appears Tess is truly off her game, until a real-life, modern-day fairy godmother steps in....
Aurora Favreaux, a founder of Glass Slipper Inc. and fold family friend, has a plan to get Tess back on her stilettos, and it includes an unlikely meeting between Tess, Max, and Gaby, at Glass Slipper's new London headquarters -- just in time for Wimbledon. It seems that Tess is going to hit the courtst in a whole new way, to prove to the world -- and herself -- that a woman with the heart of a champion can ace life and love -- even after the big 3-0....
I haven't read this book, but I really love Donna's writing, so am planning to pick it up. You can buy it at borders.com
Don't forget about our Aussie Rules Contest. Look at yesterday's post for details. You can enter as many times as you like. I'll announce the winner on Friday. Please, please pass this on - I need as much imput as possible. Thanks.
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
I have to admit that when I first began reading this book it reminded me of one Jill's earlier works Love is in the Air from the Paris or Bust anthology, as they both take place in an airport with a spunky heroine and quick-witted hero, but I was soon assured that this was not a re-hash but a great story all on its own. Bo Black, the sexiest hero to come along, arrives at the North Beach Airport looking for what he believes is rightfully his. Melanie Anderson, aka Mel, is the owner of Anderson Air and the custodian of not only the airport, but the caretaker of the group of people who work there. She believes that the airport belongs to Sally, the woman that took her under her wing and provided her with the unconditional love that she so sorely lacked in her home life. She also believes that Bo is a con artist just like his father and she is very suspicious of his motives for returning to town. Bo believes that Sally was the swindler and that her actions led to his dad's death. He has the deed to the airfield and intends to take it over. He didn't count on Mel and her unflinching loyalty to Sally and the people around her. Together they work to find the truth and along the way they fall in love. Aussie Rules is a wonderful book full of humor and romance. It's the kind of work that I have come to expect from Jill and she does not disappoint. Once again she gives us secondary characters and plotlines that enhances the main story instead of detracts, as happens in a lot of romances. It's an enjoyable journey down the rocky road to love - get ready for a bumpy ride. If you want a good romantic comedy, then this is the book for you. Highly recommended.
So, would you like to win a copy of Aussie Rules? I have the ARC and I'm very partial to keeping them - they're just more special to me. But I also like to support the author, so I also buy the print copy. So what to do with the nice, pristine book that arrived the other day? Give it to one of you, of course. Now, I had planned to do a "get acquainted with Jill" quiz, but then I realized that I dilemma that you can help me out with. You know I'm working on this anthology, and I have names for all of my characters except for one. The heroine for my Josh Holloway character - Scott. When these characters were first created years ago, the books were to be written by Bebo and myself. Scott's story was to be written by Bebo and she had picked out the name Kate for her heroine. Now it's my story, and I can't go with that name. Kate is short of Katherine, and my sister's name is Catherine - some of you already know my problem with my sister, so that name is a no-go. I need a name for an up-tight photographer who has been burned by a past relationship. I don't have a last name for her either, but that's no big deal now. I want to at least mention all of the characters names in the first book, so I really need this now. And this might be the next book in the series, and since I'm on page 48 of what should be about 100 pages, I'm not far from finishing the first one.
What do you do? Give me names. On Friday I'll pick the one that I like the best and that person gets this copy of Aussie Rules. Come on, I know you can do this.
Monday, May 29, 2006
From the hills,from the lake,From the skies.
All is well, safely rest, God is nigh.
Go to sleep, peaceful sleep.
May the soldier or sailor,God keep.
On the land or the deep, Safe in sleep.
Love, good night, Must thou go,
When the day,And the night Need thee so?
All is well.Speedeth all To their rest.
Fades the light; And afar
Goeth day,And the stars Shineth bright,
Fare thee well; Day has gone,
Night is on.
Thanks and praise, For our days,
'Neath the sun,Neath the stars,'Neath the sky,
As we go, This we know, God is nigh.
While there are no words to Taps per se, those given above are likely the most common.
There is a poignant myth about the origin of Taps that is circulating about the Internet. The true story is that in July 1862, after the Seven Days battles at Harrison's Landing (near Richmond), Virginia, the wounded Commander of the 3rd Brigade, 1st Division, V Army Corps, Army of the Potomac, General Daniel Butterfield reworked, with his bugler Oliver Wilcox Norton, another bugle call, "Scott Tattoo," to create Taps. He thought that the regular call for Lights Out was too formal. The custom, thus originated, was taken up throughout the Army of the Potomac and finally confirmed by orders." Soon other Union units began using Taps, and even a few Confederate units began using it as well. After the war, Taps became an official bugle call. Col. James A. Moss, in his Officer's Manual first published in 1911, gives an account of the initial use of Taps at a military funeral:
"During the Peninsular Campaign in 1862, a soldier of Tidball's Battery A of the 2nd Artillery was buried at a time when the battery occupied an advanced position concealed in the woods. It was unsafe to fire the customary three volleys over the grave, on account of the proximity of the enemy, and it occurred to Capt. Tidball that the sounding of Taps would be the most appropriate ceremony that could be substituted."
From The Military Taps
Memorial Day was officially proclaimed on 5 May 1868 by General John Logan, national commander of the Grand Army of the Republic and was first observed on 30 May 1868, when flowers were placed on the graves of Union and Confederate soldiers at Arlington National Cemetery. The first state to officially recognize the holiday was New York in 1873. By 1890 it was recognized by all of the northern states. The South refused to acknowledge the day, honoring their dead on separate days until after World War I (when the holiday changed from honoring just those who died fighting in the Civil War to honoring Americans who died fighting in any war). It is now celebrated in almost every State on the last Monday in May (passed by Congress with the National Holiday Act of 1971 (P.L. 90 - 363) to ensure a three day weekend for Federal holidays), though several southern states have an additional separate day for honoring the Confederate war dead: January 19 in Texas, April 26 in Alabama, Florida, Georgia, and Mississippi; May 10 in South Carolina; and June 3 (Jefferson Davis' birthday) in Louisiana and Tennessee.
Memorial Day History
And the winners of this month draw are Laurie and Carol. Email me your snailmail address and I'll get those off to you.
Sunday, May 28, 2006
This is my cousin Joan with my mother. Joanie lurks (wave at Joan). She and mother are more closely related than she and I. They are practically first cousins. Huh? Okay, this gets a little complicated so pay close attention. Joanie's dad and my mother's father were first cousins. Joan's dad was 54 when she was born - hence the huge age gap (Joan is the same age as my brother Howard). Anyway, Joan's father's name was James and my grandfather's name was John (this is important - so I don't have to keep saying her father, my grandfather, etc.). James' mother was Margaret O'Connell Hanlon and his father was James Hanlon. Margaret had a brother named Thomas O'Connell - who, coincidently was John's father. James Hanlon had a sister named Ellen Hanlon O'Connell who was John' s mother. Confused now? Brother and sister James and Ellen Hanlon married brother and sister Margaret and Thomas O'Connell. In the world of biology, this would have made James and John (the aforementioned father of Joan and father of my mother) more like brothers than first cousins. So if you follow that line of thinking, that makes mom and Joan more like first cousins than first cousins once removed. Are we thoroughly confused now? Good - I like to keep you that way so that you won't notice that I'm not actually the Queen of this blog. Joanie and I found each other through genealogy research - her's. I'm not that diligent. She was looking for the Hanlon's with no idea that her grandmother and my gr-grandfather (O'Connell's) were brother and sister too. It has sure made the research a lot easier since she is now researching all of my Irish line without me having to lift a finger (waving more frantically at Joan and including kisses this time). It is really a kind of tragic story - my grandfather John O'Connell was Irish Catholic. He fell in love with my grandmother Daisy who was not only Protestant but of more Scottish ancestry than anything else. Recipe for disinheritance right there - and he was ostracized from most of the family. The Hanlon's never spoke to him again, while only his siblings kept in contact on the O'Connell side. Part of that could be because grandma's sister Golda married grandpa's brother Frank - but she converted - and no, this was Iowa, not Arkansas. (Hi Tori!) Joan grew up just a couple streets over from us in Iowa. In fact, had she not gone to Catholic schools, she and Howard would have been in the same grade. Every winter Drake University would ice down their football practice field for the neighborhood kids to skate on. This was only a little over a block away from us. We spent a lot of time there, as did Joan. How many times had we passed each other on the rink with absolutely no idea who each other was? That's really sad. And it made Joan mad. Anyway, we're close now and I love her dearly. So here's a shout-out birthday wish to my very confused cousin Joan Hanlon. I love you sweetie. And be careful on your drive back from Colorado.
Okay, now that you've gotten a very confusing family history - have a great rest of Memorial Day Weekend.
Saturday, May 27, 2006
Three old men are at the doctor for a memory test.
The doctor says to the first old man, "What is three times three?"
"274" was his reply.
The doctor worriedly says to the second man, "It's your turn. What is three times three?" "Tuesday" replies the second man.
The doctor sadly says to the third man, "Okay, your turn. What's three times three"?
"Nine" says the third man.
"That's great!" exclaims the doctor. "How did you get that"?
"Jeez, Doc, it's pretty simple," says the third man. "I just subtracted 274 from Tuesday."
I got this one from Ruby and thought y'all would enjoy it too. I'll be working with the boss this morning, so no internet until I get home. Have a great Saturday.
Friday, May 26, 2006
Holiday inflection (Would that be the Irish accent I use on St. Patrick's Day?)
Illegitimate movements noted (Hey, my parent's were married)
Misdemenor Probe (You aren't sticking that thing up me)
Your family., dull-eared (Oh that will get me on your side real quick - your family lizard breath)
We don't care what you think about us (Obviously)
Emerging Growth (I shaved last year)
Your neighbors lost their alarm clock (one, two, three ... I.Don't.Care.)
Illegal action shown (Just because my neighbors are stupid doesn't make it illegal)
You never know (I know that half of my dull-eared family would be in prison if it were)
Trouble remembering things (Not me, my alarm clock is right next to my bed)
Hi palate bone (Hello shoulder blade)
Look awesome by Springtime (Only if you have a magic wand - haven't you noticed? It's almost Summer)
Local Homeowner's Association is trying to expel YOU (Let them try - they'll lose more than their alarm clock)
Here's the advice - regarding next Friday (Oh now, so you think you could do better ?)
It's also Giveaway Friday:
Free Fall (Temptation: American Heroes; spin-off of Men of Courage II)
Room Service (Blaze)
For Love of Nick (Temptation: Cooper's Corner)
Hero For Hire (Trueblood Texas)
Men of Courage II (w/ Lori Foster and Donna Kauffman)
Roughing it With Ryan (Temptation)
The Rancher's Surrender (Intimate Moment)
Paris or Bust (w/ Kate Hoffmann and Jacqueline Diamond)
Man of My Dreams (Sherrilyn Kenyon, Maggie Shayne, Suzanne Forster and Virginia Kantra)
Perfect for the Beach (Lori Foster, Janelle Denison, Erin McCarthy, MaryJanice Davidson, Kayla Perrin and Morgan Leigh)
Bad Boys Over Easy (Erin McCarthy, Jen Nicholas and Jordan Summers)
Bad Boys in Black Tie (Lori Foster, Erin McCarthy and Morgan Leigh)
Bad Boys on Board (Lori Foster, Donna Kauffman and Nancy Warren)
Good Girls Don't by Kelley St. John
The Model Man by Genie Davis
Sword of Darkness (Lords of Avalon) by Kinley MacGregor
Heart Choice by Robin D. Owens
Lie By Moonlight by Amanda Quick
The Protector by Gennita Low
Code of Honor by Catherine Mann
Double Play by Penelope Neri
Thursday, May 25, 2006
This blog brought to you by the I Can't Think of What to Blog About organization. Sniff a few days of paint fumes and you too could become a member.
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
There's no real hurry now, although I do have to get all of the boxes out of the living room and into their respective rooms, but then I can just leisurely unpack (I'd like to have it done by next week).
Okay - off to blog a little before mom gets up.
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
Still at it. Hopefully we'll finish tonight. And then the long, arduous job of unpacking. Here's some before pictures.
You can't really tell here, but it was a dark green with light green trimming. When it was first done it was pretty, but has worn out it's welcome (about 13 years worth).
Ah yes, this one is a little bit better - see it's not that dark. But the green is prettier than the picture shows. And that border - well, let's not ask Susie what she thinks of that (took her quite a while to get it down). Look - I have a ghost orb near the a/c vent. Wow.
And heeeeere's Susie. She says that this is her best side. Those shelves that she's standing next to are what I have to work on today. All of that taping is taking time, but it does give a cleaner line. This built-in unit around the side window was there when we moved in. The original family (we're the second owners) had two boys and this room was built for two. There used to be a built-in desk under the window, between the two units, but I had that taken out years ago. There are two closets in here too.
Anyway, have to go now or I won't get anything done. I'll be back on a limited basis tomorrow - I plan to rest most of the day (I am so sore), and then there's the moving of boxes and unpacking (both rooms as I haven't unpacked anything in the bedroom yet.
Sunday, May 21, 2006
Saturday, May 20, 2006
1) Late night talks, Sunday morning conversations.
2) Her laughter coming down the hall when she watches something funny in her room.
3) Security- mother is entering another phase now with the Alzheimer's and I'm just a little nervous about being here alone - she's getting up in the middle of the night. The first night neither one of us heard her.
4) Instant feedback - well not exactly instant, but with her not living here I have to wait a few days until she comes over to show her what I've written, while now I just have to wait for her to get home. I know, I can email it - but it's not just the same.
5) I'd gotten used to her setting up the coffee pot before going to bed. Now I'm going to have to remember to do it.
6) Fetch it - you know, can you pick up a loaf of bread on your way home?
7) Alcohol. I know, she's still going to bring me some - but now I have to wait until the weekend.
8) Strength in numbers. This kind of goes with number 3, but it was nice to have someone to share the burden, not just for the new phase, but all of the phases.
10) Laughter. Period.
Bye, Beverly (yes, she has a real name). You've been a swell roomie. I love ya sis.
Now that we've gotten the serious stuff out of the way, wanna know what truly insane people do on a Thursday morning? Go to Vanessa Jaye's blog. I will only admit to Snow White, the Sheik and CSI. I did not, however, provide the names of the dwarves, but these three are the only ones that I'm owning up to.
And don't forget that as of this afternoon I'm off-line until Monday or Tuesday. Try to behave yourselves while I'm gone.
Friday, May 19, 2006
Need Software? (Nope, but you wouldn’t happen to have a monitor there?)
Beluv (Oh thank you. At least I’m someone’s beluv)
Let us pay next time (Oh wow! Thank you.)
3 Night Orlando vacation - $49 (Just $49 for 3 nights with Orlando? Is this what you’re paying for?)
Re: the medtcatiomons (I think you’ve had enough medtcatiomons)
Replica for you (Orlando Bloom? Because you see, I have a 3 night vacation with him – and they’re paying)
Hi, hit me asap (Finally, an offer I might actually accept)
Here … (There, and everywhere)
Repentant chatty (Nope, unrepentant chatty. Talk, talk, talk)
Do you need a new monitor? (Ummmm, I want to know how you know this and I want to know now!)
Your neighbors lost their alarm clock (see the people above, they’re paying for it)
Hey buddy, what’s up (Well, I’m taking a 3 night vacation with Orlando Bloom, my neighbors lost their alarm clock again and I get to hit someone. What’s up with you?)
Notice of approval Tue, 16 May 2006 18:21:76-0500 (I wanted everyone to know the date and time I was approved)
Prozac (Thanks. Hey you haven’t been handing out medtcatiomons around here?)
Your money., author-ridden (Thank you. Wait a minute - this isn’t enough for a 3 day vacation with Orlando Bloom!)
Thursday, May 18, 2006
On another note - Jo Leigh really needs your help. She's writing a book with a character that has lost a hand and she needs to talk to someone who has had that experience (or even an arm). I know which character she is talking about and I'm really looking forward to this book, so you'll be helping me too. If you know someone who fits this criteria who would be willing to talk to her, please let her know. Information on her blog.
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
God is so Good!!
After starting a new diet, I altered my drive to work to avoid passing my favorite bakery. I accidentally drove by the bakery this morning and as I approached, there in the window were a host of goodies. I felt this was no accident, so I prayed ... "Lord, it's up to you, if you want me to have any of those delicious goodies, create a parking place for me directly in front of the bakery." And sure enough, on the eighth time around the block, there it was!
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
Monday, May 15, 2006
1) Cat's fighting. There'll be peace in this house from the furry ones for the first time in six years. No, Bebo hasn't been here for six years, but until the loss of Siobhan and Cassidy there has always been dissention in the furry ranks. The four left when she leaves all get along pretty good, so that will be a little different.
2) Those damn boxes in front of her bedroom door. We have them there to keep her cats and mine from fighting under the door and making it rattle all night. Having to get by them down the hall, or stepping over them to enter the room has been irritating. I'll be glad to have that over with.
3) Sharing the bathroom, making sure that I've gone in the morning before she gets up - otherwise I have to just hold it until she's done with her shower. Next time, separate bathrooms.
4) Having only one TV to record my shows on. The networks are always scheduling stuff opposite each other that I want to see, and I would have to beg her to tape one of them for me. Like Tuesday, when I have to ask her to tape a special for me that's opposite NCIS and AI.
5) Having to be quiet - Monday nights Mom and I watch Leno, so I'd have to remember to keep the volume down because the den is next to her bedroom. I also won't miss having to keep Mom quiet on the occasional Sunday morning when Bebo might sleep a little late.
6) Bebo the Fire Breathing Dragon Bitch From Hell. She knows what I mean.
That's it. My that was a short list.
Nothing more tonight - oh, wait. Did I tell you I hurt my back today? It wasn't from lifting boxes either. I was carrying a box of books down the hall and into the living room. I couldn't see my feet (that's important - and no, it wasn't a cat). As I rounded the corner in the hall I tripped over one of those boxes mentioned in #2. I didn't fall, but banged up against the wall and slammed my right foot down to catch my balance thereby wrenching my back. It's pretty painful right now, although the Advil helped. I can't sit at the computer very long. I don't know how it will feel in the morning, but if you don't hear from me for a while, then you'll know why.
Sunday, May 14, 2006
I know you will never read this. In fact, if you were, I doubt you would even understand what I'm saying. But I'm going to write this anyway. You have always been my strength, my protector, my teacher and my friend. I've always felt that our relationship was special, I know it's a lot different than your relationship with Cathie, Howard and David. I'm the baby. I'll always be your baby no matter how old I get. And you'll always be my mother no matter how far you drift from the mother I knew. You have been such an important part of my life - everything that is good about me comes from you: my morals, my values, and my ideals. You taught me empathy, fairness, compassion - that we are all the same no matter our creed, race, gender, political affiliation, etc. Music and reading, the passions of my soul - those were your passions - you gave them to me, and in doing so opened up so many worlds, viewpoints; and a wealth of knowledge that no university could teach. You know what my earliest memories of you are? Creaking bones. I know that sounds like a rather unusual memory - and definitely not a fond one, but that's what it is. I remember being very small and laying across your chest with my head on your shoulder. I could hear your bones creaking as you breathed. It was comforting, soothing. Your voice crooning lullabyes, that's another memory. Your soothing voice as you read to me. Everything of my childhood comes back to you. I miss our long talks. I miss going to you and saying "Mom, I have a problem". And you would take it from me and make it better. You can't now. I take care of your problems. I don't think you realize how much I miss you - you're not capable of that understanding. But I wanted you to know that no matter what happens to you, you're still my mother. I love you.
(If you would like to move on to the lighter side of motherhood - look at the post below.)
(from left to right: Me, Cathie, Mom, Janet [other SIL] and Bebo)
(photo below: Mom and Howard)
(photo after that: Granny Bebo)
(photo at end: MyMaternal Grandmother)
Answers given by elementary school age children to the following questions...
Why did God make mothers?
1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.
How did God make mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.
What ingredients are mothers made of?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.
Why did God give you your mother and not some other Mom?
1. We're related.
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.
What kind of little girl was your Mom?
1. My Mom has always been my Mom and none of that other stuff.
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.
What did Mom need to know about dad before she married him?
1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?
Why did your Mom marry your dad?
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on.
Who's the boss at your house?
1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.
What's the difference between moms and dads?
1. Moms work at work & work at home, & dads just go to work at work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.
4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.
What does your Mom do in her spare time?
1. Mothers don't do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.
What would it take to make your Mom perfect?
1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd dye it, maybe blue.
If you could change one thing about your Mom, what would it be?
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
2. I'd make my Mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on her back.
THE MOMMY TEST
I was out walking with my 4 year old daughter. She picked up something off the ground and started to put it in her mouth. I took the item away from her and I asked her not to do that.
"Why?" my daughter asked.
"Because it's been laying outside, you don't know where it's been, it's dirty and probably has germs" I replied.
At this point, my daughter looked at me with total admiration and asked, "Wow! How do you know all this stuff?"
"Uh," ...I was thinking quickly, "All moms know this stuff. It's on the Mommy Test. You have to know it, or they don't let you be a Mommy."
We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but she was evidently pondering this new information.
"OH...I get it!" she beamed, "So if you don't pass the test you have to be the daddy."
"Exactly" I replied back with a big smile on my face and joy in my heart.
"Dear Lord," the preacher began with arms extended and a rapturous look on his upturned face, "without you we are but dust..."
He would have continued, but at that moment one very obedient little girl (who was listening carefully) leaned over to her mother and asked quite audibly in her shrill little girl voice, "Mommy, WHAT is butt dust?"
Church was pretty much over at that point...
Happy Mother's Day everyone. (Thank you for sending this to me Glenice)
Saturday, May 13, 2006
Picture yourself near a stream.
Birds are softly chirping in the crisp, cool mountain air.
Nothing can bother you here.
No one knows this secret place.
You are in total seclusion from that place called "the world."
The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air with a cascade of serenity.
The water is clear.
You can easily make out the face of the person whose head you're holding under the water.
There now ... feeling better?
Okay - the words aren't flowing tonight, so I'm going off to dreamland.
Lonestar Seduction word count: 12,129
Tonight's word count: 578
Dropping silly political joke: Priceless
Thursday, May 11, 2006
A woman had died in January, but her bank had billed her for their annual service charges for February and March on her credit card, and then added late fees and interest on the monthly charge. The balance had been $0.00 but was now around $60.00.
A family member placed a call to the bank.
Family Member: "I am calling to tell you that she died in January."
Bank: "The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply."
Family Member: "Maybe, you should turn it over to collections."
Bank: "Since it is two months past due, it already has been."
Family Member: So, what will they do when they find out she's dead?"
Bank: "Either report her account to the frauds division or report her to the credit bureau, maybe both!"
Family Member: "Do you think God will be mad at her?"
Bank: "Excuse me?"
Family Member: "Did you just get what I was telling you, the part about her being dead?"
Bank: "Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor."
Supervisor gets on the phone:
Family Member: "I'm calling to tell you, she died in January."
Bank: "The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply."
Family Member: "You mean you want to collect from her estate?"
Bank: (Stammer) "Are you her lawyer?"
Family Member: "No, I'm her great nephew." (Lawyer info given)
Bank: "Could you fax us a certificate of death?"
Family Member: "Sure." (fax number is given)
After they get the fax: Bank: "Our system just isn't set-up for death. I don't know what more I can do to help."
Family Member: "Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing her. I don't think she will care."
Bank: "Well, the late fees and charges do still apply."
Family Member: "Would you like her new billing address?"
Bank: "That might help."
Family Member: "Odessa Memorial Cemetery, Highway 129, Plot Number 69."
Bank: "Sir, that's a cemetery!"
Family Member: "What do you do with dead people on your planet?"
I'm busy packing and trying to get some writing done, so you may get some more of this stuff. Don't forget that Friday is Spamarama Friday!
Also, Michele is going through a family crisis - lots of good thoughts and prayers her way.
UPDATE: It's 3 o'freakin' 04 in the morning. I am toast. About 3 hours of sleep until the alarm goes off. I have to go to Wallyworld and then to Office Depot for an ink cartridge. I'm about to run out and I will not write without being able to print it out, I learned that lesson a long time ago. Then I have got to have a nap before work or I won't make it through the evening. We know how Thursday nights are for me, so I will be dead by Friday morning. I have a lot of packing to get done - this is not how I had planned to spend Wednesday night.
Reluctant Reunion, Lonestar Reunion, Lonestar Seduction or whatever it's called word count: 11,517
Tonight's word count: 1,505
A good nights sleep: I'm too busy laughing at that one.
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
To the east side. We finally got a piece of the pie.
Tuesday, May 09, 2006
I know I just posted a picture of Bailey the other day, but since he's the subject of today's post I thought I'd put in another one. And yes, that was Devlin.
So I had this great morning of writing planned for Sunday. Bebo was going to be gone for the day, mom is usually quiet in the mornings, I was excited about the book again (still am). Everything was set. I didn't count on Bailey and his claws and his teeth. Have I mentioned that Bailey is only 11 months old? He still has kitten ways and we're still training him. But I don't think this fetish will ever be solved. You see, Bailey likes kleenex and toilet paper. He'll even shred the TP on the dispenser (for lack of a better word). If you leave the roll on the cabinet - he'll jump up, grab it and then run into the living room, shredding as he goes. So I got up Sunday morning - went into the bathroom, did my business - reached down for the paper and found an almost completely shredded (practically full) roll. I wasn't happy - and I had had enough. So I woke mom up around 7:00, got her breakfast, told Bebo bye and headed out to Wallyworld. I bought this little chrome canister with a lid. It's sitting on the cabinet now. A little awkward, but Bailey can't get to it. Anyway, it made my morning late and just put a damper on the whole thing. I find that I write best either early in the morning or late at night. So I didn't get as much done as I would have liked.
Anyway, thought I would also send you to a couple of places. Rene has been posting about types of heroes and I think mine are Gammas. What about you?
Kelly attended the RWA Silicon Valley "Prepare to Pitch" Conference and will be sharing tidbits about it this week. Should be a lot of interesting information.
Raine's book Let's Pretend has received a wonderful review at Dear Author.com. Go check it out.
Siobhan has this really funny bit from novelist Andrea Semple's Writing Tips newsletter. It'll give you a giggle. Siobhan's site is comment restricted to bravenet members only, but you can leave comments on the tag board.
Okay - I've probably forgotten someone's post - oh, wait - Did you ever have a crush on an anime character? Michele has - go and see if Race Bannon (of the original Johnny Quest) is the man for you. Anyway, my apologies if I've missed someone's great blog. Catch you next time.
UPDATE: I only thought I was going to go to bed early.
Reluctant Reunion word count: 10,012
Monday, May 08, 2006
Here's a giggle for the day.
Dumb and Funny Warning Labels On Products
Liquid Plummer: Warning: Do not reuse the bottle to store beverages.
Windex: Do not spray in eyes.
Bowl Fresh: Safe to use around pets and children, although it is not recommended that either be permitted to drink from toilet.
Toilet Plunger: Caution: Do not use near power lines.
Dremel Electric Rotary Tool: This product not intended for use as a dental drill.
Arm & Hammer Scoopable Cat Litter: Safe to use around pets.
Endust Duster: This product is not defined as flammable by the Consumer Products Safety Commission Regulations. However, this product can be ignited under certain circumstances. Baby Oil: Keep out of reach of children
Wet-Nap: Directions: Tear open packet and use.
Dial Soap: Directions: Use like regular soap.
Stridex Foaming Face Wash: May contain foam.
Hairdryer: Do not use while taking a shower.
Sleeping Pills: Warning: May cause Drowsiness
Christmas Lights: Warning: For indoor or outdoor use only.
Bic Lighter: Ignite lighter away from face.
Komatsu Floodlight: This floodlight is capable of illuminating large areas, even in the dark
Fire Extinguisher: Caution: Non-Flammable
Earplugs: These ear plugs are nontoxic, but may interfere with breathing if caught in windpipe
Matches: Caution: Contents may catch fire.
Pepper Spray: Caution: Never aim spray at your own eyes.
Auto-Shade Windshield Visor: Warning: Do not drive with sunshade in place. Remove from windshield before starting ignition.
Fix-a-Flat: WARNING: Do not weld can to rim.
Rain Gauge: Suitable for outdoor use.
RCA Television Remote Control: Not Dishwasher Safe
Road Sign: Caution water on road during rain.
Camera: This camera will only work when film is inside.
Road Sign: Cemetery Road. Dead End
Rowenta Iron: Warning: Never iron clothes on the body.
Slush Puppy Cup: This ice may be cold
American Airlines Peanuts Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
Nabisco Easy Cheese: For best results, remove cap.
Swanson TV Dinners: This product must be cooked before eating.
Hershey's Almond Bar Warning: May contain traces of nuts
Heinz Ketchup Instructions: Put on food
500-piece puzzle: Some assembly required.
Bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)Do not turn upside down.
Korean kitchen knife: Warning keep out of children
Hand-held Massaging Device: Do not use while sleeping or unconscious.
Aim-n-Flame fireplace lighter.> Do not use near fire, flame, or sparks.
Knife sharpening stone Warning: knives are sharp!
Rat Poison Warning: has been found to cause cancer in laboratory mice.
UPDATE: I should have checked my supply of envelopes when I was at Walmart yesterday (yes, that's another post). I've run out. I've only got a little over half of them done - off to post office in a bit. The following people will have to wait until I get to Walmart again on Friday. Sorry! Diane, Michele, Toni (well, you have to wait until Susie returns the book *gg*), Christa, and Ruby.
Sunday, May 07, 2006
Saturday, May 06, 2006
I don't really have anything to blog about. I keep thinking about the WIP, but the problem is - I'm lost. I'm not interested. Bebo says it's going pretty good, but I don't feel it. I've been reading a lot of blogs lately about writing what you want, not to the market. I've always felt that what I wrote fit both of those criteria. I read Blaze's, so I'll write a Blaze. And that's okay - I don't think that's the problem. I think the problem is the WIP, I'm not into it. What do I know? I know that I'm a writer. I know that my fingers itch to hit those keys, to get into that groove, rhythm, zone - whatever you call it, where the words flow. It's addictive. I've been there before, I've felt that high - but not with this book. Every word is like pulling teeth. I don't know where it's going. Don't say plot, because I can't. My mind is blank, empty. There isn't anything there - I don't know what this book is, what I want from it. I'm not sure I even like the characters, their motivations. Nothing, and I mean nothing, is talking to me. I think what I need to do is step back, pull out some other unfinished stuff - see if I can find that missing spark. I know that there have been others who have gone through the same thing and struggled on, actually finishing a decent product. But what do you do if even the thought of working on it puts you to sleep? Do you keep working on something that isn't going anywhere? Something without the passion? I know that I need to stay with one thing; I know that switching in midstream isn't a good thing. Sorry this isn't making any sense. Look at the title - I'm rambling folks. No maps for this ping-pong journey through my mind.
Friday, May 05, 2006
Order anytime Leslie (Don’t call me Leslie)
I’m back in town now (I need to know this because …?)
Check in here please (Your name wouldn’t happen to be Bates, would it?)
You brighten my day (You’re just saying that because you want me to buy a penis enlarger)
Justin Timberlake got one (A penis enlarger? Good for him.)
You’re neighbors lost their alarm clock (You keep telling me this! I’ll give them a damn alarm clock)
We feel you have it (Listen Cagney and Lacey, I didn't take their freakin' alarm clock!)
SPUR-M!!! (Excuse me?)
Dnot mvoe form yuor hosue (Dnot woryr I wnot)
With kids your marriage becomes stronger. Make as many kids as you want with Spermanex (Is this sort of like silly putty?)
Be pretty (Thank you. I will)
Horror (You’ve been singing TV Theme songs too?)
Whats up? (Oh you know, singing TV theme songs, talking to spam. Just normal stuff. What’s up with you?)
Whoa … no way (Is this the SPUR-M person?)
Theee neeext “Hooomeee Ruun Sstooocck?” (Ooooohhhhhh nooooooooo, Martha Stewart on downers)
Im available tonight evemd (SPUR-M is looking for someone)
Things should go fine (For who? You, me or SPUR-M?)
Football in bed (Now that’s a thought. The cleats would hurt though. And could we get rid of those cheerleaders?)
We cure any desease (except for spellingitis)
Thursday, May 04, 2006
I forgot about yesterdays release of The Duchess' newest book, so here it is:
Wicked Payback By Daisy Dexter Dobbs
Celibate for three years following her second divorce from the same man, Meredith is tired of being a goody-two-shoes. It's time for a change. A rebellion. And that's precisely why she agrees to meet her multi-cheating ex-husband for a reunion dinner on her birthday.While the charming Jack is anticipating an evening of raw sex, romance and reconciliation, Meredith has a different agenda in mind. One that involves a well-deserved, wickedly funny dose of payback.Her sinful scheme would be a lot less challenging if her thighs didn't quiver at the mere thought of Jack's substantial attributes. His big, bold, deeply satisfying attributes. And if she could only forget how a certain vigorous thrust and twist of his hips sends her spiraling into orgasmic bliss.Alas, after she realizes she's still in love with Jack, poor Meredith's vengeful plans go terribly awry. And she suddenly finds herself face-to-face with a sexy woman in a slinky red dress. A devilish woman—with a pair of horns sprouting beneath her bangs.Oh yes, turning forty can be hell. Literally.
Publisher: Ellora's Cave
Publishing Date: May 3, 2006
Sexual Content: Rated E-rotic
I really enjoy Daisy's sense of humor - it is a pleasure to read her blog. She's got a great press release on this book - go over and read it now.
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
Once there was a little girl named Mary who lived on a farm. She was a timid child, not oldest, not youngest - just somewhere in the middle. She loved her daddy and mommy and brothers and sisters, but she was afraid of the cow. Not just the cow, but of the goose too. Everyone was afraid of the goose which made Mary feel better about it, but she was the only one afraid of that cow. One day her father was taking the cow back to the barn when he was called inside to answer the phone. Handing the rope to Mary he told her to wait there until he got back. Mary stood and looked at the cow. It stepped towards her, she stepped back. Again it moved towards her and again she moved back.
Mary's daddy was in the house talking on the phone when he heard Mary screaming. Dropping the phone he ran out of the house. His oldest daughter Alice could hear Mary screaming too, but at the same time she could hear her daddy ... laughing? Going out to the porch, Alice could see her daddy laughing so hard that he was almost bent over. Then she saw Mary run by, the cow right behind her. In between fits of laughter she could hear her daddy yell "Drop the rope." You see, Mary had been standing between the cow and the barn and all the poor thing wanted to do was go to the barn but when she stepped towards it, Mary would back up. And then when the cow moved again, Mary began running - still holding the rope. The poor cow wasn't chasing that little girl, she was being pulled after her. Mary still doesn't like cows - except on her plate. Where they can't chase her.
You really ought to be around when my mother (Mary) and her sister Alice tell this story. Tears of laughter stream down their faces as they both yell "Drop the rope!"
So anyway, some people asked for this story (it's one of Glenice's favorites and she has had the pleasure of hearing it from my mother herself), so here it is.
The goose is another story ...
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
No, I haven't switched from TV theme songs to Sesame Street. Neither have I totally lost my mind. This is another one of my "bear with me" blogs. I know, two in a row - what is the world coming to? Since I am Queen of my blog and the Center of Christa's World I can pretty much put here what I want to, right? LOL
I was standing on the ramp Saturday morning enjoying my 15 minutes of 6:00 a.m. quiet when this song popped into my head. Now, I was too old for Sesame Street when it first aired, but I did learn some songs a couple of years later in children's choir at church when we strung some together for some concert (I love trash, anything dirty or dingy or dusty, anything ragged or rotten or rusty - sorry, but that was dedicated to the Duchess of Wit). And I learned a few more when babysitting my nephew Dylan (who will be 16 this June - say it isn't so) because one of his favorite tapes was a Sesame Street sing-along tape. This song was on it. It's hysterical because the video is done by celebrities like Rhea Perlman and Danny DeVito, and Jeremy Irons. It's my favorite. So anyhoo, there I was in the quiet of morning singing Put Down the Duckie in my head (I blame it on watching the Daytime Emmy Awards the night before where Carol Spinney received a life-time achievement award for portraying Big Bird and the Grouch - yay Carol!) and I finally got it! I don't know if this was the composers meaning, but I interpret it as saying that a child has to put down the duckie (security blanket, etc) before they can go on into the next step in childhood development. This is very nice Eve, er Your Highness, but what does this have to do with us. I'm glad you asked. I have a duckie. Oh not literally - although I do have a couple of very sweet stuffed bunnies that Olga sent me. But I have something that I have clung to and has kept me from going on in my life. My fear of mistakes. It became such a big part of my life that it contributed largely to my agoraphobia. I was ridiculed and made fun of by my family for making mistakes and I just came to believe that everyone would do the same thing to me. I literally would panic at having to write something down that others might see in case I made a mistake. Kind of crippling when you're trying to become an author, isn't it? That's one of the reasons I started blogging, so that I could make mistakes, pick myself up and keep going. I'm not quite there yet, but it's easier now than it was a year ago. I've just got to learn that its okay to put down my duckie and move on. What about you? Is there a "duckie" in your life, something that you cling to that holds you back from achieving your goals?
UPDATE: Case in point. I did my review of Aussie Rules tonight for B&N (I had actually thought I'd already done it a few weeks ago, but the Devlin stuff messed me up), so I quickly wrote it and posted it. It's not one of my best reviews, but I leave those for Amazon as I think they are more important. Anyway, I was closing down Word (I do them there first so that I can catch all of the mistakes with spell-check) when it hit me. There was my duckie looking me square in the face and quacking madly. I had meant to type the word "in" but somehow missed the "n" (that's because it's worn off - sorry, blog post flashback) and Word had changed it to the capital "I" so that spell-check didn't snag it. Now I'm in duckie panic. I know it's a simple mistake, that everyone makes them - the intellectual part of me knows that, but the slug inside is just cringing with horror. It's there for all of the world to see and I'll brood about it for stomach churning weeks, but there's nothing I can do about it now. I just have to get over it, won't I?
Monday, May 01, 2006
I've been going from blog to blog reading peoples responses to the recent "6 Weird Things About Me" meme. And, with some exceptions (and you know who you are), everybody was pretty much in agreement that we didn't see a lot of "weirdness" in the lists. That's because we creative folks live in our own reality that's quite different from others. Different doesn't mean bad, it just means ... different. This goes for all creative endeavors - writers, painters, crafters, anything that involves the imagination. We live there. We exist in that realm of "what ifs," "why nots" and especially "why can't I?" You readers are probably thinking "What does this have to do with me? I'm not creative." But you are. When you walk into a museum and see a painting that draws you in, when you read a book that keeps you involved, you are connecting on some level with the artist/author. There's a part of you that recognizes yourself in their work. When you read a book you join the author on their journey - your imagination soars with them. Everything that a writer does involves a part of themselves, whether its a characteristic they share with the hero/heroine, a place, a mood, a nightmare, we're there if you look hard enough. And because of this, you know us, you live in our world if only for that brief time. Writers have to be a little "weird" so to speak. In our work we open ourselves for the world to see, we allow you into our dreams, hopes, the private fantasies that most people would be too embarrassed to share. So I say we're not "weird", we're unique. And I wouldn't have it any other way.
Book Draw: And the winner is ... everybody! What? You read right, everybody. My backstock box is overflowing and needs some cleaning out in order to add new stuff, so I'm having a blowout. I'll probably do this every once in a while - I just won't tell you that's what I'm doing because I'm mean like that. I have the addresses for most of you, but the others need to go to my profile and email me with your snailmail addresses. Those people are: Brandy, Michele, Sandy, Tori and Kristie. Oh, and Toni? Yours will be a little late because Saturday night, after the third margarita, I let Susie borrow it and read it - after all, she's not going to keep it. I knew you wouldn't mind since she said such nice things about Her Sanctuary, which everyone needs to purchase, BTW.