Friends

Friends are the siblings that God forgot to give us. Unknown

It’s true. Many times throughout my life I have had friends who have made the going much easier. Some stayed, others moved on – but no less loved for no longer being here. Each filled a need at the time, essential parts of my soul nourished by their presence and support. I have made many such friends here on my blog, although I’ve only met one. That doesn’t matter a whole hell of a lot – the feelings are still there. We support each other, stroke when needed, cry when called for, hug just for the heck of it. And we laugh – long cleansing guffaws of healing laughter. One of my “sisters”, Brandy, sent me this beautiful cross-stitch. She made it herself. Isn’t it beautiful?

Happy Birthday Brandy!


On other news the heat wave seems to have let up for a while – I don’t trust that it’s entirely gone, but this reprieve is nice. The high today was 88 – with relatively low humidity. I can’t wait for Fall weather – highs in the 70s will be nice. My brain just shuts down in the summer; it hibernates and doesn’t come awake until the weather turns a bit chilly.

If you’ve visited my website, you know what I’m reading. So it’s your turn. What’s on your TBR pile?

More Publishing News

Wanna read some great writing? Scott's short story, Damned Carnival is now on-line at deathlings.com. Congratulations Scott.

Damned Carnival
by J. Scott Ellis

I don't believe in fairytales, God, or the Devil. However, I do believe in balance and the perpetual struggle of opposites. Fables are keys to the soul. Truth is detritus on the ocean floor, suppressed by the crushing weight of water. There are things down there--awful things--whose wake stirs up whirlpools of sediment that rise up to the surface, only to dissipate and rest comfortably again.

Read more

Publishing News

Dream Man
by Kelley Vitollo

Sadie has the same dream every night. She dreams of a man with black hair, gorgeous blue eyes, and magical hands. When dream becomes reality and she comes face to face with her dream man, will he be everything she imagined, and more?

Read Excerpt

Dream Man, a short story avaliable on September 8 from Forbidden Publications.


Oh, and there are two new reviews on Isn't it Romantic.

Voices in My Head

You know, we need to talk.

About what?

Her.

Who?

Bailey.

Why?

Because she’s not writing.

She’s writing.

What?

She writes blogs.

Oh yeah, right. You can really make a living out of writing blogs.

What’s she supposed to be writing?

She says she writes romances.

Then why isn’t she?

That’s what we need to talk about.

Maybe she could put together a book about blogs. Or romance through the blogs. Or …

She’s being a bitch about it.

You better be nice, she might hear you.

So what? What’s she gonna do about it?

She could eliminate you. It’s her fingers on the keyboard, you know.

She can’t get rid of me. I don’t exist.

You don’t?

No, and neither do you.

Don’t tell me that.

Why not?

Because I have a date Saturday night with the Tooth Fairy.

You can’t have a date. Especially with the Tooth Fairy.

Says who?

Because she's dating Cupid. And like I said we don’t exist. That’s why she can’t get rid of us. We’re everywhere. Leave this head, we’ll just show up somewhere else.

Like where?

Raine’s.

We could really use some rain.

No, Raine. With an “E”.

Raine?

Yeah, Weaver.

Well I crochet a little.

Raine Weaver. She’s an author.

Oh, she writes those smutty books.

Not smut. They’re erotica. We like erotica.

You like erotica. Bailey likes erotica. Nobody said I had to like it.

The Tooth Fairy likes erotica.

She does?

Yep, especially any about vampires. Okay, forget about that. We’ll go over to Brandy’s.

I don’t drink alcohol.

It’s not … oh forget that one. Shirley then.

Surely then what?

No, not surely. Shirley!

Don’t scream at me.

How about Dennie's

I'm not hungry.

I give up. Let’s get back to the subject.

And that was?

Bailey and her writing.

Isn’t that up to those nekkid muses?

Yeah, but they’re in Spain.

I thought they were in the Bahamas.

Hurricane season.

Oh yeah, right.

We have to make her write.

She’s sleeping.

She can’t really be sleeping if we’re having this conversation.

Point.

Here she goes. Off to the study.

What is she writing?

Blog stuff.

How do you know?

Because I can read the screen dummy.

What does it say?

You know we need to talk.

About what?

No, that’s the first line on the screen.

You mean she’s writing everything we said?

Yep.

How rude?

And so went my Sunday nap. How was your weekend?

Horoscope

Capricorn (December 22 - January 19)

It's Fake Smile Week. On the one hand, that means you should be on guard for people who are pretending to feel better than they actually do. I urge you to forgive them for their deception, but don't get derailed by it. On the other hand, you yourself should put on a happy face as a disguise when you're not sure what exactly is going on. In other words, it's best to act agreeable until you gather all the information necessary to make a sound decision. Is the advice I'm offering hypocritical? Only if you use it to serve your narrow self-interests. But if you're intent on doing what's best for all concerned, my counsel is ethically impeccable.


What do you think? I know I feel like I'm wearing a fake smile most of the time. Mom is making it near impossible to blog. She just went to bed and I've had to sit with her all morning and all evening. I really could use that laptop. I can't find my cousin - who knows where she is. I know that she stops in here from time to time so here: I wish people wouldn't promise things if they aren't going to follow through on them. I've been disappointed one too many times now - it's to the point where I don't really believe anymore - in other words, I'm not holding my breath. I know I'm a little late on stuff sometimes, but I do come through eventually. I just have a problem getting out with mom. I did get the rest of the books mailed today - except for two packages and Aussie to Laura. Sorry, guess I'll go put on my fake smile now. I'll try to be in a better mood next week.

Oh, want to check out your horoscope (btw, I stole this from Loreth).

Spam Jam

Okay boys and girls, here's another morning with Spam, straight from the bulk file. Are we ready?

Here you go … (Thank you, but I think I can start this on my own.)
Very interesting income. (Interesting wasn’t the word I was going for. Pathetic would be more like it.)
Welcome to the SCOTT Common Sense Community! (Um, Scott. You have something to tell us?)
A write go covetous larrup. (I know I covet a lot of writing, but I don’t think I want to trounce anybody because of it.)
Your Logan is approved. (Thank you – I thought that name was perfect for a heroine, and just up Ross’ alley.)
Your neighbors won’t tell you everything. (Oh, now they want to keep secrets.)
Paper money is not real. (That’s been my problem all along. I’ve been trying to pay with phony money.)
Cheer up and you might be a leader. (I’m already Queen, what more could I want.)
You’re paying. (I’m sorry. I only have paper money.)
What are your plans for breakfast on Sunday? (Eggs, bacon, orange juice. Well, maybe sausage instead of bacon. You know, pancakes sound pretty good too. Hmmmm, now I’m hungry.)
Your neighbors lost their alarm clock. (Couldn’t this be one of those things they won’t tell me?)
Find that perfect timepiece. (Sorry, the neighbors took it – they needed an alarm clock.)
Don’t tell me this doesn’t catch your eye. (Okay, I won’t.)
Uppercase. (OKAY, I WON’T)
Wanna buy a Porshe? (I don’t know what a Porshe is. I wouldn’t mind a Porsche – but you see, I only have that damn paper money.)
Clemente wants to know why you are annoyed? (The neighbors stole my nice timepiece and they’re keeping secrets; Scott’s started some community and didn’t invite me – guess he doesn’t think I have common sense; I just found out that paper money isn’t real; and I have to pay for something called a Porshe. Is that enough?)



Mom drew names and the winner of Aussie Rules is Laura Clark. If you would email me again with your address, I’ll get the book mailed tomorrow ASAP. Jill and I will be giving away a couple more books here, so keep watch – contests usually start on Monday’s. And, that one was a little too easy, so I’ll try harder next time. Thanks for everyone who participated.

Review - Pale Immortal

Pale Immortal
By Anne Frasier

A century ago death walked the streets of Old Tuonela in the form of the Pale Immortal who drank the blood of his victims. After his death the town moved, leaving the buildings of Old Tuonela behind. But it wasn’t empty.

There was evil here.

An evil that had been growing. Waiting for the right time, the right circumstances, the right person to come along.

100 years later, death strikes again in Tuonela, a young girl drained of her blood. Fingers pointed to Evan Stroud, a man who suffered from a disease that kept him from the sunlight. Add to that his interest in the Pale Immortal and the word vampire came to everyone’s mind. Rachel Burton, his childhood friend and Tuonela’s coroner, was his only ally. Together they must face their darkest fears.

For death still walked the streets of Old Tuonela.

I have to admit to having a hard time getting started on this one, but after a couple of chapters I was caught up in the story. Anne Frasier's voice is clear and concise, descriptions riveting, characters three-dimensional. Reminiscent of the best of Stephen King, Ms. Frasier crafts a story like a master weaving a tale gone by. With each chapter the tension mounts towards the inevitable climax, its rhythm and pace ensnaring you in the story and holding you there until the end. I would give this book an Amazon four stars.



Don’t forget, today is the last day to enter the Aussie Rules contest. Winner announced tomorrow.

TaaaDaaaa

Here it is, the bane of my existence for the last 4 days. I did very little blogging on Tuesday just to get to this point. It isn't done, but I've had it for a few days. The program I have to use kept freezing on me and took longer to download things than Loreth's blog. It's not the way I want it to look yet - but that's the best of what was available. I will be changing it as soon as my HTML for Dummies arrives. Anyway, I've been domained. I have WIP's to add and another favorite authors page.

The heat here has been unbearable, the drought vicious. My grass is almost brown - water restrictions everywhere. We had a system come through Tuesday night which lowered the temp from the 100s to the 80s, but the humidity is still bad. 50% chance of rain on Wednesday and we are in desperate need of it.

Where's everybody go? Don't blog for a couple of days and everyone takes off. Hmmmm. BTW - does anybody know what happened to Peggy Ann Craig's site? I keep getting a real estate company.

Publishing News

Listen, ooooh wahhh oooh, do you wanna know a secret, ooooh wahhh oooh, do you promise not to tell, oh oh who-oh .... tough. It's not ready yet. Meanwhile, I've gotten a little behind in the promotion department.

Shadows of Moonlight
by
Stacy Dawn

Over the centuries, Rick Shayne has loved and lost the same woman four times. Her reappearance only deepens his guilt and he refuses to risk her life or his heart again. Liz Greyson isn’t about to let him off that easy, but will her secret be his saving grace or cast him back into the shadows of moonlight forever.

Available at The Wild Rose Press

Speaking of The Wild Rose Press, Stacy and fellow WRP author Marty Kindall are being interviewed at Conversations With Almost Famous Writers - Stacy on September 1 and Marty on September 8.

Don't forget there's still a contest to win a copy of Aussie Rules by someone named Jill Shalvis. Honestly, this is a great book and if you haven't read it yet, here's your chance. Winner announced Thursday.

It's a Contest

Jill Shalvis has graciously contributed a copy of Aussie Rules for me to give away – so guess what today is? CONTEST DAY!!!! If you would like a copy of Aussie Rules, with the simply scrumptious Bo Black, here’s how it goes. DO NOT POST ANSWER HERE – email me at Baileystewart at baileystewart dot net. (yes, new address). Put Aussie in the subject line. What do you have to do? Go to Jill’s website and find the answer to the following question: Besides Jill Shalvis, what other name has Jill written under. The answer is there, honest, and it’s not that hard to find. I’ll draw from the correct answers and announced it on Thursday.

Oh, and if for some reason you’re not familiar with this particular book – you know, you’ve been living in a cave or something – then go over to my review blog and see what I had to say about it.

What else is going on? Nothing much. The internet is kind of behaving itself but I actually didn’t have time to do any blogging this weekend. I’ve been working on something else that I can’t tell you about yet. Yes, I’m teasing. Hopefully I’ll finish it this week, if I don’t commit computercide soon.

Gremlins and Glitches and Blogging, Oh My!

Just in case you've been wondering where I've been ... I'm here, reading people's blogs, minding my own business ... unable to comment. Have I mentioned how my computer hates me? I think it's turned my DSL box against me too. Remember how I was having a problem with the internet going off around 8:30 p.m. and not coming back on until around 7:00 a.m. the next morning? Well it's stopped that - at least on a regular basis, now it just does it for a half hour or so. Its new game is even better. I can go to people's blogs but when I hit comment - crash, the little green DSL light turns red and starts blinking and the internet goes off. When I close the comment window or hit the back button (depending upon how your comments are done) the internet goes back on. It doesn't actually do it on every blog - I can still get on Jill's (Thank.You.), Jo Leigh's, Saskia, Joely's and a couple of others, but if I haven't commented on yours since around Tuesday night - my DSL doesn't like you. There's no rhyme or reason - no certain "type" of blog like blogger or bravenet, just weirdness - not even my own. Yep, I can post but 90% of the time I can't even comment on my own blog. My email is fine. I did manage to get on Brandy's Thursday night - so I keep going to your blogs and trying. I and the phone company are going to have a long talk on Monday if this doesn't clear up soon. The first problem corrected itself on its own, so we'll see. I'm just feeling cut-off. So now I'm off to try again. Maybe I'll see you, maybe I won't.

Spam Lite

Extreme Makeover: Trial Lawyer Edition (I just thought this was funny, ignore me.)
Are you coming to my party on the 19th? (I don't know, let me check my schedule, I'm so in demand you know.)
Warning. (Why? What’s going on?)
I need your information. (Then you shouldn’t warn me first.)
Unable to reach you at work. (They don’t accept spam.)
Be a Superman in bed. (I’d rather be Wonder Woman.)
I hope you can handle him. (I’ll just use the lasso of truth.)
He study the gunnysack benumbed. (I once studied fruit flies.)
With our Soft Cialis Tabs you will be able to chop the wood with your dick. (Once again, I ask you why?)
Need some help? (Nope, he should have them chopped in a moment.)
What is that? (Haven’t you ever seen a dick-axe?)
Yam-yam-yam. (What The Flintstones' Bam-Bam says in Sweden.)
Your cash, mid-thigh. (Thanks calf-length.)
I’m really worried about last Tuesday. (Don’t worry about Tuesday, I’m worried about how we’re going to clean that axe.)

I Wonder ...

Having internet problems, hence the cut and paste posts and lack of presence. It's that in and out thing again. Bebo sent me this ...

I Wonder.........
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say,"I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"
Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes out of it's rear"
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme stuff, why didn't he just buy dinner?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?
Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
Stop singing and read on . . . . . . . . . ..
Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?


EDIT:

Happy Birthday Saskia!!!!!!!!!!!!

Word Cloud

I stole this link from Anne and had a lot of fun. It's free (although I did buy a tee shirt with this on it).

Huh?

For your entertainment, actual similes and metaphors found by high school English teachers from across the country in their student's essays.

- Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.

- His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances, like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

- He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

- She grew on him like she was a colony of e-coli and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.

- She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

- Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

Goodbye Old Friend

Michael Dowd Jr. (Mike Douglas)
August 11, 1925 - August 11, 2006

Sad news for those of us of my generation. Friday, August 11, 2006 veteran talk show host Mike Douglas passed away on his 81st birthday. From 1961 to 1982 his show was the daytime place to be for the up and coming and the already famous. Aretha Franklin made her first TV appearance on his show. A 2-year-old Tiger Woods came on too. A lot of now famous people began as “Bumper Acts” or fill-ins – these were people who appeared when a scheduled guest couldn’t make it. Among them were Billy Crystal, Michael Keaton and Ben Vereen – all unknowns at the time. He was the voice of Prince Charming in Disney’s Cinderella, and his song “The Men in My Little Girl’s Life” reached number 6 on the U.S. charts – if you’ve never heard it, well, let’s say that was the song I always wanted played at my wedding reception when I danced with my father. It always brought a lump to my sentimental throat. All of my idols in youth visited his show and I tried never to miss it. To paraphrase Rosie O’Donnell “School was where I went between watching the Mike Douglas Show”; she studied him and modeled her own show after him. In fact, he was her first guest. A lot of memories there – John Lennon and Yoko Ono co-hosting for a week is one of them. I have to admit that I’d pretty much quit watching it towards the end of it’s run – but in the 70s it was a “must see”. Anyway, I didn’t want his passing to go un-noticed. Goodbye Mike, you gave a little girl a lot of thrills.


Edit: And if you want a laugh instead, go over to Stacy's blog where a bit of sisterly revenge (and a beautiful tribute) is on display.

Spamarama Ding Dong

Okay boys and girls, lets see what the ol' email bulk file has for us today.

We interrupt this version of Spamarama for this important announcement. A little birdie just informed me that it's Cece's (Amie) birthday. Happy Birthday Cece!!!!!!!!
Now, back to our regularly scheduled program.


Penis Enlarge Patch works for everybody; black, white, and yellow. (Jesus loves the LITTLE children ..)
You always wanted to use your penis as a billiards cue. (No, but there’ve been a few whose balls I’d like to rack up and break.)
Call me today. (Today.)
Penis Enlarge patch believe in miracles. (Obviously. Eiffel Tower, third leg, billiards cue.)
Do you want to do something useful in your life? (What? Bringing joy and laughter into the lives of lonely, desperate people isn’t enough?)
No understand by governing. (Join the club)
Your neighbors lost their alarm clock. (Again? Enough with the alarm clocks. Get a sun dial.)
CIA Interviews. (It’s only a damn alarm clock)
Wanted. (Dead or alive, one cuckoo clock with alarm system.)
This is really great. (Why? Does the CIA want to interview you too?)
What did she tell you? (Nothing at all officer, er, agent sir. We don’t know nothin’ about no stinkin’ alarm clocks.)
Working people need this too. (Are you by any chance implying that I don’t work?)
Your cash, nutty-looking. (Hey, watch who you’re calling nutty-looking. At least I’m not going around trying to sell Jolly Green Giant Penises.)
50 dollars is 50 dollars. (Well in that case, hand it over banana brain.)
Hey one last present. (If it’s an alarm clock I’m going to throw it.)
Thud. (Enough said.)
Do you want to possess the whole world? (No, only my small portion thank you. And anyplace where Christa is at.)
Your house value is falling. (Yeah, you know, once the CIA moves in the whole community goes to pot.)

This Thing Called Love

Why romance? What is it about the romance genre that attracts you as a writer? As a reader?

I’ve looked at this subject for close to a week now, turned it around and around in my tired brain then let it cook for a while. I even started writing one reply, but it wasn’t right. On the surface it’s the love of the HEA (Happily Ever After) – but you can find HEA in almost any genre – “With the vampire legion vanquished, they all lived happily ever after”; “The mystery was solved and they all lived happily ever after”; “He ran those durn varmints outta town and they all lived happily ever after”. Why the romance HEA? What is it about a man and a woman meeting, falling in love and living “happily ever after” that pulls me like no other story can? It’s that thing called love. I think, for the majority of people, its human nature to love and want to be loved back. It’s one of the two most profound emotions that can universally be understood, no matter the language. It knows no boundaries, color, religion, etc. Love just is, in its simplest form, the greatest human emotion God gave us. And when used in its purest form it can do some wondrous things.

When I first began on the writing journey many years ago, I admit that I was ashamed to say that I wanted to write romance. I’d give the old “well, I’m going to start in the romance genre because look at all of the big authors who have come out of there” speech and then add how I had a mystery/horror/sci-fi thing that I was working on for when I got around to the “real” writing. I’m not ashamed of it anymore. How can you be ashamed of something that leaves the reader feeling good? Why must you write about human tragedies with no positive ending in order to be accepted in the literary sense? Must everything be about death? Take the movie The Titanic. Some would say it was a wonderful love story, not me. It was a tragedy. The hero died. There’s nothing romantic about that, no HEA. Wonderful movie, but not a great romance. I’m one of those people who doesn’t like Gone With the Wind. Why? He leaves. What’s romantic about that? In a romance, if there’s tragedy, there’s triumph, and at the end of the journey, there’s love. Nothing wrong with that, nothing at all. Some people look at romance as fluff, and there is a lot of fluff out there. At the end of a frantic day, sometimes fluff is exactly what is needed. It lets the mind relax and the endorphins flow – that, and a margarita, will get you through anything. But what people don’t realize is that there are a lot of intense and emotional stories on the shelves too, stories about people with scars so deep they don’t feel they’re worthy of love – but through the magic of a romance the enchantment begins, scars healed. I’ll take a romance over any other book any time.

Let’s take it a step further. Why do I write romantic comedy? I’ve always loved the screwball comedy romance teams of the past: Grant and Hepburn, Powell and Loy, Tracy and Hepburn, Cagney and Lacey. Even in my romantic suspense I throw in laughter. I have to. It’s such an essential part of me, it’s how I survive all of the crap that life throws my way. Laughter and love, in my opinion, are two of the most important ingredients in any relationship, and when you add in great sex – then everything is cooking.

Never Separate ...

A girl and her power tools.

That's Neely Shae - see why I can't get anything done? She takes too many breaks for catnaps.

EDIT: I forgot to mention that Joely is giving away an interesting looking book on her blog - the contest goes until Friday.

You Know You're a Romance Writer When ...

1. You make out your grocery list with chapter headings.

2. Instead of P.S. you use epilogue.

3. You start editing yourself while you speak.

4. You correct emails and send them back with suggestions on how to make the ending stronger.

5. You reject the family photos because the hero doesn’t look strong enough.

6. You send back the family Christmas letter with a statement that you don’t do straight Science Fiction. Add a titillating piece between the captain of the ship and the terrestrial hunter and you might be interested.

7. You re-name your children after romance characters.

8. In your “real” job, your annual report to the board begins … “Her nipples peaked at the very thought of him …”

9. You’re in the middle of a make-out session and you stop to take notes.

10. You refer to your friends as “secondary characters”.

Day Off

I took Sunday off from posting and will probably do so the next couple of weeks. And then, dear folks, Sunday will be NFL day (waving at Scott), actually Dallas Cowboys day. So, if you absolutely hate the NFL or the Cowboys, don't bother to show up on that day. To my utter shame Scott, who doesn't even live in Dallas, is much more knowledgeable about the Cowboys now than I am - I just haven't had the time to read the sports section or keep up with the news. So I rely on him to keep me straight.

We spent Sunday morning getting the dresser moved out of mom's room and the chair moved around - there's more space now and a place for everything. Next we're going to hang family pictures, at her request.

I'm looking for someone (I'm calling a cousin tomorrow) to sit with mom one morning this week so that I can get to the post office and the store - so your books will be out this week, or at least half of them. One of the other reasons I'm giving everyone the book they asked for - that was the final Friday giveaway and I'm trying to get rid of backstock. I just can't get to the post office as often. Now, I will continue to have special giveaways for my authors - I want to continue that, if you win you'll have to be patient with the delivery.

Anyway, boring post today, just a bit of info. Hope y'all have a good one.

One Book

Deana tagged me - well sort of - okay, she emailed me and asked if I wanted to be tagged. Since I am always looking for something for the blog I said yes. So here goes:

One book

1. One book that changed my life: The 36 Hour Day: A Famly Guide to Caring for Persons with Alzheimer's Disease, Related Dementing Illness and Memory Loss in Later Life by Nancy L. Mace, M.A., and Peter V. Rabins, M.D., M.P.H.

2. One book that I have read more than once: (Sorry Jill) Tears of the Moon by Nora Roberts.

3. One book I would want on a deserted island: 101 Things to Do With a Fish (if it doesn't exist, it should)

4. One book that made me laugh: Get a Clue by Jill Shalvis

5. One book that made me cry: Where the Heart Is by Kate Hardy

6. One book I wish I'd written: Gone With the Wind by Margaret Mitchell (look how much money the estate has made?!)

7. One book I wish had never been written: I don't believe in censorship.

8. One book I am currently reading: Just Try Me ... by Jill Shalvis

9. One book I have been meaning to read: Pale Immortal by Anne Frasier (it's next on the TBR pile)

Okay, I tag Tori, Stacy Dawn, Marty, Kate, Jill and Brandy. (and anybody else who wants to try - I would have tagged Scott, but he doesn't come by on the weekends)

Spam Dunk

Really nice things are waiting. (Oooooh, Hugh Jackman?)
Nobody will know. (Believe me, if it’s Hugh Jackman everybody will know)
Don’t expose your intimate life. (You mean Hugh Jackman might be waiting for me and I'm not supposed to tell anyone? Oh, you're too funny.)
Stacy’s photos are now online. (Stacy – is there something you want to tell us?)
We require your representative assistance. (As soon as I get a representative I’ll be sure to send him/her along)
A singing Cowboy act. (Just what I always wanted. Thank you.)
Is it below 5 inches long? (Mine or the singing Cowboy’s?)
Need some help? (Nope, but the singing Cowboy might.)
What do you think? (I think, therefore I am)
Your neighbors lost their alarm clock. (Man, gotta get a new gig.)
Select bestseller action. (Um, number one?)
Legged Mexican pirate named. (I don’t care what his name is, but is it three legs?)
Kyle wants to know what went wrong? (I blame it on the Bosa Nova.)
It’s Bella’s birthday on Thursday. (All together now: Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you [I can’t hear you] Happy birthday dear Bella, happy birthday to you.)
Hang. (Not with less than 5 inches.)
Waistline relent. (My waistline relented quite a while ago)
With Penis Enlarge Patch your penis will grow faster than a flower. (Wow, does Miracle Grow know about this?)
A borrow so swashbuckling outdid canyon. (Huh? Is that Steve Canyon? Swashbuckling what?)
Penis is your best friend, don’t let it die. (Don’t worry, I’ll run and get it some Miracle Grow. Not only will it grow faster than a flower, but it will grow longer than my leg, or even bigger than the Eiffel Tower.)

Yay Marty

Marty Kindall's debut novel, The Knot, is available now in the Vintage Rose line at The Wild Rose Press

When Ben Sheridan is released from prison in 1936, he returns to his hometown in the Blue Ridge Mountains with only one goal--to lead a simple life. Although he's paid his debt to society, he's never forgiven himself for the unthinkable act that forced him to take the life of his step-brother over a decade before. Small-town storekeeper Heather O'Malley has never played the victim, but to most she's still that "scarred" young woman, the past prey of a madman. Unconventional and independent, she seizes the opportunity to help Ben restart his life, in part to atone for her silence about the events that sent her rescuer to prison. Ben can't resist Heather's free-spirited approach to life, and she can't resist his reluctant charm. Neither intends to fall in love, but when dangers from their past threaten their fragile connection and another young girl turns up missing, they discover just how knotted together their lives are--and how fiercely they're willing to fight for each other and their future.

Available in e-book and print paperback.

Congratulations Marty!

Quitcher Belly Achin'

Enough with all of this melodrama, let's get on with this show. Here's a bit of what I wrote at 3:00 a.m. the other night. Remember, I don't edit, I just type and stop when I'm done. I might go back and add a scene or a line, but no correcting until the thing is finished. So please ignore any grammar mistakes, repetitive words, etc. Hopefully, just have a laugh. This is Skye and her cousin Jude at lunch. Remember, Jude is referred to as the Pink Lady, she's romance writer Angelique Fuqua. Anyway, here's what I do when I'm up in the wee hours.


Jude looked up from her napkin, which now resembled a piece of origami, if the artist were on drugs. “I have a confession to make” she whispered, scanning the crowd to see who was close by. “I’m a big liar. A fake.”
Leaning forward, Skye looked into the other woman’s eyes. “You’re really cousin Larry in drag?”
That finally brought a smile to her cousin’s face. “No, I’ve seen him in drag, he’s prettier.” Leaning closer still, Jude almost climbed on top of the table. “I’m not that experienced.”
“In what?” Skye felt ridiculous whispering as if they were trading state secrets.
“You know. Experienced.” Jude waggled her perfectly plucked brows.
Skye sat back. “Huh? Wait a minute, I was there, well not actually there, but it was in college. You lost it to Robert Lewiston, second semester.”
“Yeah.”
“And you dated him for quite a while.”
“Uh huh.”
“What do you mean, uh huh?”
Once again Jude looked around. “Three times.”
“You dated him more than three times. It was almost two semesters.”
Grabbing her cousin’s shirt front, Jude hauled Skye up against the table. “We had sex three times.”
TMI alert. “Yuck Jude, like I wanted to know that?” Ugly image stuck in my head thankyouverymuch.
“And then how long was it before I went out with someone else?”
“You were always going out.”
“I was always going out in groups. I’m talking about dates.”
Skye stopped to think. “I just assumed you were getting over Robert. Wait, there was Sam whatshisname.”
“Once.”
“Let me get this straight. Every time I toss out a name, you’re going to tell me how many times you did the horizontal?”
Jude sighed. “And only the horizontal. No other positions whatsoever.”
“This is way more information than I want to know Judith. And definitely not the conversation to have at a busy downtown Dallas plaza at lunch time.”
Bristling at the mention of her proper name, Jude tossed her salon streaked hair and glared again at Skye. “I’m trying to share my troubles with you Skye Wisteria. You think I’m perfect, that I’m the golden girl, just like everyone else. But I’m not. I’m wrapped up in this whole romance thing and I’m a fraud. And now my editor has called me on it.”
“She knows how many times you’ve had sex?”
“No! But my sales are down. The readers want more than storm tossed seas and crackling fires. They want sex. The fantasy, the romance, the feelings.” Jude released Skye and sat back in her seat. “Ten times, maybe eleven.”
“In all?” Skye felt just a little glow of pride. I’ve had sex more than the Pink Lady.
“They say I’m frigid. Frigid.” Jude’s voice rose. “Me, the Queen of Romance.” Standing up, she gestured towards Skye. “How can I give my readers an orgasm if I’ve never had one.”
Two old ladies at the next table dropped their spoons and stared at Jude.
“You might want to sit down now while I crawl under the table.” Skye eyed her cousin like one eyed a raving lunatic. At any moment now Rod Serling is going to step out and tell us not to adjust our sets, we’ve entered The Twilight Zone.
Jude sat down, nearly in tears. “What have I done?”
“Embarrassed yourself, not to mention poor innocent me, in front of a majority of the working class of a major U.S. city. Other than that, nothing big.”
“I’ve just got to have an orgasm.”
“Now?” Skye looked around anxiously, not sure that, in her present state, her cousin wouldn’t attempt it.
Drying her eyes with a napkin, Jude smiled. “No, not now. I don’t have BOB with me anyway.”
“I so want to end this conversation.”

Tuesday's With Mommy

Mother is much better, thank you. Even the dementia is clearing up a bit. Low sodium, dehydration and a urinary tract infection really messed with her mind. She was much sharper today, although a little unsteady - she's a bit sore. The accident on Sunday night was something that anybody could do - I've almost done it a dozen times, in fact, how many times in the movies have we seen someone try to walk and pull up/down pants at the same time and fall over? The only problem with mother is the arthritis keeps her from helping to pick her up. Anyway, she has an appointment with her doctor on Friday, we are going to discuss getting a social worker (or whoever) over here to assess the situation, tell us what Medicare/Medicaid, her supplemental insurance (which we might have to drop if we use medicaid) will pay for, what they can provide, etc. The situation, at the moment, is a little more under control, although we wouldn't be surprised if she was in a nursing home by the first of the year.

Enough of that - I had a good rest today and am feeling better. So what to do to celebrate? Hmmmm, why don't we just make last Friday's giveaway a free-for-all? Yeah, that's it. Everybody gets their books. I also have the bookflaps from Sasha to get in the mail to those winners.

There's not really a lot more to say. Until my laptop arrives (JOAN!!!!!) I'm still going to be a little scarce around the blogasphere, so be patient. I miss all of you.