Monday, September 29, 2008

If it's Monday, then yesterday had to be Sunday

Yeah, I've lost sight of my days. LOL

I really don’t know if I’m perturbed or not. Hmmm? Oh, perturbed. You know, put out, etc. not that I put out or anything, uh, sheesh, where was I? Oh, perturbed. Anyhoo, there’s this Airborne commercial and it, … yes, I said commercial, keep up will you! There’s this Airborne commercial and … I don’t care if it’s spelled with or without the “e” at the end, leave me alone. Airborne has this commercial with Sebastian the romance book hero and I don’t know whether I’m amused or insulted. I mean, I’ve spent a lot of time flapping my gums defending romances as no longer being filled with Fabiolics and bodice ripping, and along comes this commercial that seems to negate (yes, party word) everything I’ve said. Well, not everything, ‘cuz frankly it doesn’t concern everything, just the stuff that pertains (ooooh, I’m on a roll now) to romance novels. Confused you yet? Good, I’ve been trying hard to gather people into my little world. Anyhoo, there he is, Sebastian, an example of manly manhood with his flowing brown locks, his bare chest, loin cloth like thingie – I can’t tell if he’s supposed to be Native American, Aztec, jungle king, whatever, but he’s a walking, non-talking example of the kind of romance hero that belongs in another era. And he seems clueless. Yes, that’s the kind of man I want, all looks but no brain …

So like I said before – giggly or growlie? High-horse, soapbox or do I just let it go as an example of my whacked out brain looking for romance conspiracies. After all, I don’t see Oliver Stone hanging around. Don’t know what I’m talking about? Here’s the link. After the screen pulls up, click on “who is Sebastian” or something similar (oops, fragment). Yeah, that’s it. See? The wigglet wonder in the thongs – on his feet ladies, on his feet. *rolling eyes*

I mean, if they’re going to pull out a romance hero, why not something this for example?

So there you are, Bailey's dream romance heroes. Anyone you would choose? Oh, and don't forget to weigh in on the Sebastian thingie.

I'm feeling much better now thank you!! Hardly any wheezing today at all, and after I switched to menthol cigarettes, hardly any coughing either.

And I can't close without a sincere goodbye to a great man. People often complain about stars who ask for money for causes, saying stuff like "why don't they put their money where their mouth is" and the like. Well, Paul Newman did. All of the profits from the Newman's Own line went to charity. Yeah, neato isn't it.

Paul Newman
January 26, 1925
September 26, 2008

Friday, September 26, 2008

Still Gone With the Wind

I'm still not up to snuff (what does that really mean?), so I'm tossing a few more funny things your way, or at least I think they're funny - but then, I'm on drugs ...

Oh, and JJ? She can't poke me - I strike back! LOL

A Little Humor ...

A man and his wife were working in their garden one day and the man looks over at his wife and says: 'Your butt is getting really big, I mean really big. I bet your butt is bigger than the barbecue.'

With that he proceeded to get a measuring tape and measure the grill and then went over to where his wife was working and measured his wife's bottom.'Yes, I was right ... your butt is two inches wider than the barbecue!!!'

The woman chose to ignore her husband. Later that night in bed, the husband is feeling a little frisky. He makes some advances towards his wife who completely brushes him off.

'What's wrong?' he asks.

She answers: 'Do you really think I'm going to fire up this big-ass grill for one little weenie???


Funny Ads

These are advertisements that have appeared in papers across the country (or so we are led to believe)
- Mt. Kilimanjaro, the breathtaking backdrop for the Serena Lodge. Swim in the lovely pool while you drink it all in.
- The hotel has bowling alleys, tennis courts, comfortable beds, and other athletic facilities.
- Toaster: A gift that every member of the family appreciates. Automatically burns toast.
- Sheer stockings. Designed for fancy dress, but so serviceable that lots of women wear nothing else.
- Stock up and save. Limit: one.
- We build bodies that last a lifetime.
- For Rent: 6-room hated apartment.
- Man, honest. Will take anything.


funny pictures
moar funny pictures

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Did someone get the license plate of that truck?

I have asthmatic bronchitis - like I've never had that before, right? Anyway, Bebo took me to the doctor because I really couldn't drive myself. I'm on bedrest for a few days and should be able to return to work on Saturday.

Since I'm under the weather and don't feel like blogging, here's something to give you a giggle.

Take care!

Living with the Wolf Man

The Wolf Man comes home one day from a long day at the office. "How was work, dear?" his wife asks.

"Listen! I don't want to talk about work!" he shouts.

"Okay. Would you like to sit down and eat a nice home cooked meal?" she asks nicely.

"Listen!" he shouts again. "I'm not hungry! I don't wanna eat! All right! Is that all right with you? Can I come home from work and just do my own thing without you forcing food down my throat? Huh?"

At this moment, the wolf man started growling, and throwing things around the apartment in a mad rage.

Looking out the window, his wife sees a full moon and says to herself, "Well, I guess it's that time of the month."

Monday, September 22, 2008

Do you believe in miracles?

(UPDATE, FEBRUARY 26, 2009:oops, I guess I shouldn't have deleted those pictures from photobucket, huh? But read anyway if you hadn't, the full meaning of this blog is in the story near the end)

I know I’ve talked a lot about Hurricane Ike but could you please indulge me one more time? To set up this story, I need to show you a few more pictures of the damage from the storm. Please read to the end. Thank you. Unless specified, all pictures are of Galveston.

Here’s the hurricane as it approaches. Yes, the house burned to the ground, no way to get to it. Besides, in all likelihood this house wouldn’t have survived anyway.


Here’s a shrimp boat in Louisiana that was tossed several feet across the highway.


A truck completely turned over and submerged.


A submerged cemetery.


Here’s a neighborhood in Clear Creek Channel, on the Bolivar Peninsula on Galveston Island, overcome by the gulf.


A road in Bridge High Island, Galveston, that was completely destroyed.


So much sand brought up by the storm that it entombed cars. This is in Gilchrist, another town on the Bolivar Peninsula.


And let’s not forget Winnie, Texas.


But the most astonishing is this picture of a barge that was lifted and tossed 6 miles from its berth in Port Arthur, Texas.


I’m showing you these to give you an idea (if you didn’t already have one) of the sheer force of the winds and power of Hurricane Ike. If it could do this to a truck, shrimp boat, town and even a barge, what could it do to a houseboat moored to a pier in a marina in Galveston?

A man went back to Galveston recently during the island’s look and leave period. Residents were allowed in for a short time during the day (the island is still locked down from dusk to dawn) to check on their homes and property. The car he rode in took him down into Galveston to the marina where his houseboat had been left. He could see other boats smashed up against the walls of nearby apartment houses or in parking lots, like this one.


As they entered the marina, he could also see that other boats were sunk, the tops barely showing above the water. His heart sunk the further they went into the marina. As they rounded a bend he couldn’t believe what he saw. Utter destruction surrounded him, and yet, there tied up to the pier, was his houseboat. Yes, no other boat around it. There was a little bit of water inside and the tarp was torn, but otherwise, his boat was fine. Everything was as he had left it on that Friday when Ike approached. His was the only boat to survive. He spent that day pumping out most of the water before he had to leave. Then the phone call to his father, his father’s phone call to me. You see, that man is my nephew and when we all had thought he had lost everything; he lost nothing except for his car. But you can get another car; you can never replace the sentimental things you own. And he lost none of it.

Yes, there are miracles.

Oh, the winner of Jill Shalvis' two Blazes Flashpoint and Flashback is

roll of drum .....

Brandy!!! You go girl!!

Thank you to everyone that entered. Thank you Yan! Please come back again. And Crystal - great to hear from you again.

See everyone on Wednesday.

Friday, September 19, 2008


Good morning! (It’s not morning you moron. Oh wait, technically it is I guess.)
Told you. (Don’t rub it in spammy, I can delete you at any time.)
You be late. (Story of my life. What am I late for now?)
What really helpful for a man? (A woman with a map?)
I’ve seen it before. (I very much doubt it, you’re a man …)
I wanted to make a conquest. (Honey, it never hurts to want. Builds character.)
You only deserve the best, get it here. (Hugh is here?)
Wish to add more fire into your bedroom life? (Good grief, the only chance of that happening is if I built a fireplace.)
First Franklin loan. (And John Adams still hasn’t paid it back … )
It’s Susan. (No it isn’t!! You stop that right now!!!)

Oh, and the book contest? Did you really comment 'cuz you want them, or were you just commenting. Kinda hard to tell since no one said anything. There also aren't a lot of "contestants" so I'm going to expand it 'til Monday.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

A blog about nothing

Its 4 minutes to 1:00 am. That’s important, ‘cuz I said so. My blog is always posted at 1:00 am every Monday, Wednesday and Friday morning. Always. It’s just that I can’t think of anything to blog about. I know, I’m about as interesting as paint drying. Okay, have you heard the one about the Rabbi and the … oh, you have? Hmmm, well what about Why did Cinderella get thrown out of Disneyland? Oh, wait, I can’t tell that one here, can I? Give me a break will ya? Oh, I know, um, no … that’s really lame.

So, let’s try this a new way. I really do like this time of year, when Texas decides to cooperate and participate in this thing called Fall. Yep, wonderful crisp mornings in the 60s, my kind of temperatures; I can open the windows and turn off the air. The cats like it too, not to mention the mad palpitations my bank account does when it realizes we won’t have to fork over another couple of million for the electric bill. Okay, so I exaggerate, only half a million. Wonderful, that’s even less exciting than paint drying.

I give up. Here, watch this it’s cute. Honest.

Oh, wait!!! I have extra copies of Jill's books Flashpoint and Flashback, her last two Blazes! Anyone want them? All you have to do is comment and I'll draw names. Come on, you know you want to.

Monday, September 15, 2008

My Husband made me wear a lifejacket inside our house

"My Husband made me wear a lifejacket inside our house. Thank God for that, or I wouldn't be here."

2,000 people now want off of Galveston Island, people that refused to evacuate before Hurricane Ike struck. 2,000 very lucky people. Ike was supposed to produce 50 foot waves, an event of such catostrophic proportions that those 2,000 people would have surely died. But they were saved by a miracle. At the last minute the mighty storm made a slight turn and as minute as that movement was it was enough to save their lives. Volunteers scoured the streets the next day, picking up frightened dogs and putting them in the back of pick-up trucks. Neighbors checked on neighbors, family inland worried for their loved ones. But even though Ike didn't produce the mortality rates that were expected, the utter destruction was what most experts predicted.

"I didn't consider my property beachfront property. Now it is."

I'm posting these pictures because I need for you to understand the destruction in Galveston alone, not to mention Houston (the 4th largest city in the U.S., will be closed down for days) and in Southwestern Louisiana, not to mention other parts of the Gulf coast. I need you to know this because I'm going to ask you to do something. The American Red Cross' General Fund is depleted. Hurricane's Gustav and Hanna, plus the tragic collision between a commuter train and a freighter in California, has bled them dry. Could you please, even just a little bit, consider giving to the Red Cross. Thank you.


American Red Cross

Friday, September 12, 2008

Spam got blown away

Sorry, but as I sat down tonight (this is Thursday evening you know) I really tried to be funny, but I couldn't do it. Not just because today was September 11, but the thought of being funny while my nephew works his way north and out of Ike's reach didn't seem right. Poor Dave. He'll lose everything - if he doesn't it will be a miracle. As I mentioned when Gustav was approaching, he lives on a houseboat in Galveston. A houseboat that he couldn't take out of the water and store somewhere. A houseboat that he had to leave moored at the dock, vulnerable to the furry of what is now a category 2 hurricane. We all know what will win that fight. And knowing Dave like I do, I doubt that he made enough money to carry insurance.

As for us, we're definitely getting rain this time. How much depends upon just where it lands, and how it turns once it does. From what I understand (and remember, another 24 hours until landfall, a lot can change) we'll either get severe storms, tropical storm winds, flooding and tornadoes OR we'll get severe storms (but not as much rain), strong winds and flooding.

And today, September 11. I get real contemplative on this day. I remember where I was, and I remember mother. Sometimes it's like it was yesterday, other times a distant memory.

Oh, the book. I drew names and the winner is Tori!!!!! I'll double check that address with you.

I'm going to leave you now with a little 9/11 tribute. Stay safe, stay well and if you do something interesting take notes - you know I live vicariously through you.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

I'm Gonna Give You a Break

It’s been a long time since I had a give-away that I thought it would be fun to do it again. This is the book that I bought at Michelle Mile’s book signing last Saturday. Yes, it is autographed. Here’s a little bit about the book from

A Break in Time

The truth could set them free or tear them apart forever. Book 2 of the Adventures of Ransom and Fortune. At the mercy of a faulty time machine, Skye Ransom and Dane Fortune are forced to randomly leap through time on a wild, roller-coaster ride of danger as they try to get back to the 21st century. Each jump sends them farther away from home, but brings their hearts closer together in a bond that not even a time bender can sever. Getting back home may be the least of their worries. Warmed by Skye’s love, Dane’s soul struggles against that of the cold, unfeeling man he once was. Skye’s had enough of witnessing history first hand. Yet finally getting home could mean she’ll lose Dane forever. Worshipped by a jungle tribe, thwarted by a mad scientist, and captured by powerful Druids, Skye and Dane face the ultimate test of survival. Even if they get through it alive, will they be able to overcome their strongest enemy to date themselves? Warning: This title contains explicit sex and graphic language.

Yes, it’s book two. I have to admit that I didn’t know that and will have to look around for a copy of book one. Oh well. What do you have to do to win it? You have to tell me one little unusual thing about you, and then I’ll draw names. I’ll start just to make you feel better.

I love spaghetti!! But I tolerate hamburger pizza and hate lasagna. In fact, the only way I’ll eat lasagna is if it’s made with sausage.

Now it’s your turn. You have until 9:00 pm cst Thursday night. I’ll announce the winner Friday. Remember – it’s signed!!!!!

Monday, September 08, 2008

A little map will do ya

So I did something different on Saturday. I went to a book signing! I’d never been to one. Susie and I went – it was Michelle Miles, and she was at the Barnes & Noble at North East Mall in Hurst. I’d never been to Hurst either, at least not on purpose. LOL I got off of work at 1:00 and met Susie at my apartment and then we were off! I had printed out one of those Google driving directions things to help us, as neither one of us really knew where we were going. Have you ever used one of those? They are useless and awfully vague with their directions. But I guess we did okay since we only got lost 3 times. Hmmmm. Anyway, Michelle’s new book is A Break in Time, the second in the Ransom and Fortune Adventure series. (I have got to find a copy of the first one, oops.) So we saw Michelle, Susie bought a copy of her book and I bought two. Why? ‘Cuz I’m going to give an autographed copy of the book away. Not right now, probably Wednesday when I decide how to do it. But I digress … after getting our books, Susie and I had lunch with Ames and Lynn at someplace called Logan’s Roadhouse. Interesting place and the food was good. So was the company. I had forgotten how great it was to hang out with Ames, and how invigorating talking about writing can be. That’s what I’m hoping for with Yellow Rose – the stimulus that I get from being around other writers. It could be just the thing to kick my writing ass into gear.

So, that was my Saturday. Sunday was spent doing nothing and watching the Cowboys whip some Cleveland Browns butt! Altogether a great weekend.

How was yours?

Friday, September 05, 2008

Sleepy Time Spam

Yep, I'm half asleep while typing this. I have absolutely no idea how this will come out - I didn't sleep at all Wednesday night, worked 4 hours on Thursday. Came home and slept for 4 hours and then got up to do this. I am not totally held responsible for the outcome. *snore*

Bomb her womb from your huge cannon! (And the rockets red glare ….)
Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey split. (Duh? Where have you been?)
ONE HAS TO TAKE RISKS SOMETIME IN HIS LIFE! (Yes, and believe me, yelling at me while I’m in this mood is risky)
5 ways to make your love more passinnate. (5 ways to make my inborn love transfer more? Okay.)
Paris Hilton returned by aliens. (Unpublished writer seen chasing down UFOs in the New Mexico Desert)
Did you arouse me last night? (Nope, those were those aliens returning Paris Hilton)
Titanic dimension without much effort. (You are aware that the Titanic sank ….?)
I am searching for you. (Try the aliens)

Wednesday, September 03, 2008

I Won't Read, don't make me ....

Yep, got that right, for some reason I just can’t make myself read. It’s not like I don’t have anything on the shelves TO read. Far from it. I have two of Jill’s books – the last two Blazes Flashpoint and Flashback, plus Saskia Walker’s newest one that she so graciously sent me, Reckless (waving at Saskia). We won’t even mention the LOAD of books I bought a couple of months ago. Did you read that right? Two Jill Shalvis books sitting unread! I know, scary. I just can’t get into the mood, or whatever is required to read. No writing either (hey JJ, I know I owe you something, I promise its coming!!). I don’t know if it’s the summer blues, my birth sign isn’t in align with the moon, my underwear’s too tight? I don’t know, and I don’t like it. There was a time that it was hard to find me without a book in my hands. I miss reading. I miss writing. I don’t miss rithmetic though …

So, be that as it may (does anyone really know what that means?), I’ve got to get reading. What do you do to help yourself do something that you aren’t in the mood to do? Is there some trick that you have, some special incantation that you throw to the universe? Help me out folks!!

In the meantime, I received this really heartfelt email from Lis. It seems that there are these twins that really need foster care. They need TLC and a lot of attention. Can’t you find it in your hearts to help them out? I’ve signed up for Wednesday’s, I figure it’s the least I could do. And once you look into their sad faces, you too will be unable to turn them away. Please, won't you help foster them?

Monday, September 01, 2008

It's a Labor Day

Labor Day - a holiday created so that some people can labor so that other people who are not laboring can go to stores and make them labor. Right?

Labor Day used to mean a lot to me. I used to watch the Jerry Lewis Telethon way into the night and then the next morning when I woke up. I couldn't miss a minute of it. Big stars performed - I mean big names. Now? They don't even show the whole thing anymore. And stars? I caught it a couple of years ago and it was ... a telethon. No real spectacle any more. They're still raising the money, bless their hearts, but the sparkle is gone. We also used to have family gatherings on Labor Day. Up to 30 people would fill our house, food, laughter, games. On Labor Day evening I will go over to Bebo's for supper. That will be my Labor Day. It's only on holidays, no matter what holiday, that I really understand the fracturing of my family.

Speaking of my family ... my brother David informed me tonight that he will probably be going on oxygen full time now. He really only has one functioning lung because of his strokes. He has pollution caused emphysema. He also has another blocked artory in his neck that will have to be operated on. And speaking of David, read below.

I have a special concern about Gustav and his path. You see my nephew, David's step-son David (don't be confused LOL) lives on a boat in the Galveston Harbor. As the winds approach Texas I can't help but think about him. And worry. His car is broken and he can't leave. 32 years ago when my brother married David's mother, this little 5 year old boy looked up at me and said "When I grow up, I'm going to marry you." He was my first nephew, my first little love. Hey Dave? As you can see, you old Aunt is still waiting. LOL Be safe honey, be safe.

Have a safe and happy Labor Day everyone!