Showing posts with label BooBear. Show all posts
Showing posts with label BooBear. Show all posts

Friday, October 10, 2008

Spamenstein



do u need Good pay job?? (no, I need those low paying ones)
I absolutely love you! (Are you sure?)
Here (What? Has it had its shots?)
Leg craps (I’d see a doctor about that – and quick.)
Muhhaahahahahahahahaha (It wasn’t that funny.)
Titanic dimensions without much effort. (But the Titanic sank … )
From Susie (Leave her out of this, will ya? And she’ll tell you that it sank too. Haven’t you seen the movie?)
Oxygen debt (Oh great! What other kind of debt can I get into? No, don’t answer that. Is there a bailout?)
Debt advice (Don’t take another breath until you can pay for the last one?)
Don’t allow ladies to offend you (Wonderful! See, I’m not paranoid ….)
Say I can have sex all night long. (I can have sex all night long … Sorry, didn’t work. Are there Ruby Slippers involved?)




Pssst Can you see BooBear in the picture above? Look closely ....

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Tuesday, um, okay ...

In case you weren’t aware of it, it’s Tuesday night, which means I have to come up with a blog. Right. You see, that’s the hard part. I can’t think of anything. I’m still getting the apartment ready for Glenice’s visit this weekend (at which time, said apartment should be ready for picture taking). I have to start the big job search after that. Bubba is having a better love life than I am. And believe me, that sucks. Not only does he have his girlfriend Apryl, but now Taylor the Sex Kitten is after him. I don’t know how I feel about that. Bubba and loose women? Aidan and BooBear can’t seem to find girlfriends, which amuses Bubba because they’re considered the two beauties of the bunch and he’s, well, he’s Bubba the red-necked kitty. And he’s the one with a girlfriend. Go figure.

I hope you are having a wonderful hump day, and that everyone you love and care about are healthy and happy.

Here’s your YouTube laugh:

Monday, March 24, 2008

New Home

Oh no!!! I wrote this last night, but was having problems with the internet and kept closing down the computer and rebooting. In the meantime, word, of course, went bye bye and I forgot all about it! Sorry I'm late.

Well we’re here and we sorta have internet. This is the same problem that I was having before I moved. It’s the laptop, refusing to hook up to the router. It also keeps telling me that a network cable is unplugged? Huh? There’s no cable hooked up to it, nor has there ever been. Oh well. Also, at about 8:00 p.m. to 9:00 p.m. it refuses to hook up at all. When my money comes in from the house sale I’m going to have to have it looked at.

The move was traumatic for the cats. First, BooBear was closed up in the bathroom. Bubba and Aidan were put in the Master bedroom and then when the guest room was cleared out, they were moved there. Bubba does not like to be closed up in a room without a human, but we had to do it to keep them from running out the propped open front door. We made a couple of runs from the house to the apartment. We were so tired that we decided to get the cats, go home and then come back the next day to finish up. My niece and her husband were coming to pick up and store the things for my brother so we had to be there anyway. I took a last look around in the closets and noticed something way back on the shelf in the Master. It was a small box. I took it down, opened it up and cried. You see, my mother had this habit of buying gifts, hiding them and then forgetting about them. She’d obviously bought this before the Alzheimer’s set in. I knew it was for me – it was a Purrfect Friends cat tile. It’s beautiful. I didn’t have long to linger over it as the crowd arrived to pick up Dave’s stuff. Then they were gone. Bebo and I put the last few things in our cars and I sent Bebo ahead so I could take a last look around the house alone. It echoed around me and in those echoes I could hear laughter and tears; in the rooms ghosts reached out to me. I stopped at the wall that separated the den from the kitchen. Resting my hand on the paneling, I stood for a moment. You see, when we moved in there, the paneling wasn’t on this particular section of wall. This was where my parent’s measured my growth with penciled lines on the wall. They were still there, underneath the paneling dad installed in the mid-80s. Stepping outside, I looked at the sidewalk my dad put in around that time, the sidewalk where he wrote our names: David (my brother’s step-son), James, Eric, Jenni Lynn and me. I said goodbye to the feral cats – especially Little One, the most friendly. Locking the house, I went next door to say goodbye to Gwen (having said goodbye to Debbie the day before). And then I got in my car, backed out of the drive and stopped at the sound of a shout. The man across the street stepped out from his garage and waved “goodbye”. The people on the corner did the same thing. Ernie on the corner called me over and I stopped. He said goodbye, gave me a hug and sent me on my way. I cried most of the way to the apartment. BooBear was still hiding – on Saturday he had found the bed and crawled under it, not coming out until dark and then back under Sunday morning. He was still under the bed, but Aidan was no longer hissing at Bubba. Bubba took the move just fine, exploring and jumping in boxes. Now a week later, they are all doing fine and adjusting to the constraints of the loss of running room.

I’ll tell you more about the move and the new apartment next time.

Monday, February 18, 2008

Aidan's Turn


Aidan here. Mother was going to have Seamas blog again, but I begged her not to subject you to any more of his “LOLz” cat speak, so to say. I hate that site; it’s such an insult to us superior felines. Anyway, we’re adjusting fine without Neely Shae, although I must admit that I do miss my favorite target. Bailey and Seamas aren’t as fun to attack. And I said Bailey. I don’t care if there’s some sort of mix-up with his and mother’s names. BooBear is ridiculous. How could any self-respecting feline hold up his head with a name like BooBear? I know, mother calls me Aidan Maiden, so who am I to speak, right? I.hate.Aidan Maiden. In case I’m not clear enough – Aidan Maiden sucks eggs. She even has a little poem for me: Aidan Maiden, pudding pie. Kissed the kits and made them cry. When Aidan Maiden came out to play, all the kits they ran away. Can you imagine going through life with that sticking to you? It’s either that or Secret Aidan Man. If I have to have one or the other, I’ll take Secret Aidan Man because at least it’s male.

Mother has been having a bit of a bad week. The sale of the house isn’t going through as soon as she, and obviously Uncle David, thought it would. So here’s mother packing to move into an apartment she can’t afford. It’s all Uncle David’s fault and if he were here I’d pee on his foot. He doesn’t like cats anyway, so what harm would it do? I could leave a little present in his shoe too, if you know what I mean. I don’t mind getting a little crass when it comes to protecting my mother.

I heard mother say the other day that she just doesn’t get to blog as much as she used to. What with all of this packing and cleaning, she doesn’t have the time. I know, you see her on MySpace a lot. She’s not always there. Mother has this habit of leaving the computer on and logged into the site. Whenever she gets a message or something, it “cachings” (that’s the closest to the sound I can get) rather loudly and she comes running to answer it. It’s pathetic if you ask me, sort of like Pavlov’s dogs. Anyway, once she’s settled into her new place, she’ll get back to a routine. Whatever that is. And she’ll be able to look for a job again. I’ve been told she needs one badly. I don’t know why, wouldn’t a purr, nuzzle and lick get her most things in life? It works for us.

Monday, February 11, 2008

Bubba Rocks





Deer blogsters, mi name is bubba an i am in charge. momma iz buzy on mycatspace an haz forgot to do her blog so i am doin it. i am a gud kitty an very hansome. i am also very smart. mommy watsht futbal all day an cride becuz it wuz teh last game ob teh seeson. me an aden played wit teh round ball ting an boobear hid unner teh bed cuz he iz so frade of evryting. me an aden tellz him not to be frade, but he no listen to uz. eben teh stoopid dawgz next door scared him an dey are outside. see how silly he iz? mommie iz movin an there are lotz of boxes around an we hab fun jumpin in an out ob dem. we kinda likz it widout neely shay around here cuz we can nowz getz to mommy. fore dat neely would chaze uz away cuz she wanted all ob mommies tenshun. Nows we no longer haz to be pushed away, we gotz mommie allz to ourselvez. dat is gud. momma gibs teh katz outside sum can fudz an she no givz dem to uz. dat not nice, iz it? momma shuld givz uz teh gud smelin fud, shoudnt she? i folos momma roundz teh house an to teh potz rum where she closd teh door an i yelled noes momma, noes closd door on bubba. let bubba in. an sometime she do. den i go round her feetz so she spank me, cuz i liked to be spanked. really. it gibs me tinglez.

Ahem.

oh hi momma. youz bak from mycatspace?

Yes, and I don’t think they want to hear about your spanking fetish. I’ll take over from here.

I think Bubba has pretty much filled you in on our day. A lot of fun in the Stewart household. I would have let him finish this, but, I wanted to break in and tell you that I just now heard that actor Roy Scheider (man in the middle)has died. Many of you will remember him from “Jaws” where he uttered that most famous line – “You’re gonna need a bigger boat”. He also received Oscar nominations for his work in “The French Connection” and “All That Jazz”.

He was 75.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

We're Baaaaack


For the uninitiated, these are the voices in my head. Be afraid, be very afraid.


What’s that?

It’s a cat. They’re all over the place.

I haven’t seen that much fur since Robin Williams.

You’re disgusting.

Thanks.

That wasn’t a compliment.

It wasn’t?

It’s nice to be back.

Where have we been?

I don’t know about you but I’ve been in the Bahamas.

And you picked now to come back?

Why?

It’s, like, 40 degrees out there.

Thank you, I hadn’t noticed.

It’s a little hard …

I was being facetious.

I’m Swedish.

Facetious isn’t a thing, it’s a … oh, never mind.

Although my mother’s family was Irish.

Do I look like I care?

How can I tell? We don’t have faces.

That was just an expression.

An expression of what?

Of my undying love and gratitude.

Oh thank … you’re being that thing again, aren’t you?

Facetious? How could you tell?

You should be nicer to me.

Why ever for?

It’s the Christmas season.

And?

Love and joy to your fellow man.

You’re right. I’m sorry. Merry Christmas Ern.

Merry Christmas Bud.

Thursday, March 08, 2007

No Wonder

If you've noticed something strange about my blog lately, it's because the cats have taken over. Here's BooBear browsing for pictures (I've caught him on naked cat porn sites). I'm trying to take back control, but it's hard. They keep throwing hair balls at me. Neely Shae is awaiting her turn - she wants to write a book about her lunch entititled "The Cathair in the Rye". Aidan? He's into a site called mycatspace.com. He has lots of friends like Garfield, Morris, Salem, Sneaky Pie, Koko, and Yum Yum. Bubba (at end of bed, out of picture) plays on-line poker, Texas Hold 'em. They never did this when I used the PC, but this laptop gives them easy access. It's been a real problem. At least they haven't figured out how to get it out of it's case ... yet.

Saturday, February 10, 2007

Justifiable Homicide


Sarah walked into a pharmacy and told the pharmacist that she needed some cyanide.
The Pharmacist said, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?"
Sarah then explained she needed it to poison her husband.
The pharmacist's eyes got big and he said, "Lord, have mercy. I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband! That's against the law! I'll lose my license; they'll throw both of us in jail and all kinds of bad things will happen! Absolutely not, you can NOT have any cyanide!"
Sarah reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed... with the pharmacist's wife.
The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "Well, now. You didn't tell me you had a prescription."

Okay, Saturday's a work day, so I'll talk atcha later. Be good or have fun, I'll let you decide.

Thursday, February 08, 2007

Who are They?


What about your characters? Do you ever decorate their houses? When I was working on The Devil You Know, I had storyboards with not only the characters pictures, but clothes, cars, houses, rooms, etc. I even went so far as to use one of those home design programs and “drew” out their homes. It helped to keep me from turning right from the kitchen to the bedrooms in one chapter and to the left in another. Having the house plans drawn out like that came in handy. How much into detail do you go when creating your characters?

Oh, and that's Aidan and BooBear.

It's 9 - 5 Thursday at work, so y'all behave yourselves while I'm gone.