Focus

When I first began taking care of mom, well make that mom and dad, I was reading a lot and writing was great. Then dad died and I had to spend more time with mother. Still, I was reading and maybe not writing as much, but writing. As things progressed with mom, I still read, but the writing began to fall to the wayside. I always thought “when this thing with mom is over, I’ll have all the time in the world to write”. Yeah. Mom passed and everything stopped; reading, writing, creativity, etc. Oh, there were moments of creativity – it wasn’t all gone, but it became a chore, not a love. Suddenly I had all of the time, but nothing was really there. I kind of expected that, I was grieving after all. But as time went on, it didn’t change. At first I thought it was my eyes, and part of it turned out to be – bifocals. Still, didn’t change much. Then the bipolar diagnosis and the medication; some things changed, but the flow of creativity, the focus for reading – still MIA. It reminds me a little of the classic Twilight Zone episode called Time Enough at Last. I’ll stop for a few minutes to let you follow the link and read the synopsis. Ready? Okay, that’s me, I have time enough at last, but my “glasses” are broken, or something is broken and I don’t know exactly what. I do know that I need to start reading – that reading feeds my creativity. I know that I need to start writing – even if it is just this blog, because any form of writing is an improvement right now. I also know that I have to find Bailey Stewart again. That’s what I meant about getting back to MySpace, diving into what made her work. Because Bailey Stewart is my key, my way back to the creativity. Everything is there, waiting. And I’ll find it again.

The Voice

I’m not talking about the voices in my head; this isn’t another Bud and Ernie blog post. I’m talking about the voice of an author, the voice that makes one writer’s work different from another. It’s what makes King different from Koontz, Roberts from Krentz, Shalvis from Crusie; the voice is what makes it possible for a reader to pick of a page, read it and know immediately who wrote it. The distinctive voice of the narrator, the haunting turn of a beautiful phrase – all of this contributes to the voice of a writer. When I began my journey on this long and winding road, I had so many mixed voices in my head. I wanted to be John Jakes, Janet Dailey, Stephen King – I wanted to be all of the wonderful books that I had read. I’ve tried many different voices throughout the years, some fit, and others didn’t. But in writing this blog, I’ve discovered that voice which is mine alone. I am a romantic comedy writer. It’s not that I’m unable to write serious material, no, it’s that I’m more comfortable with the lighter tone, the giggle instead of the tear. That’s okay. I’m never going to write that great multi-generational John Jake historical epic. My horror stories may resemble Charlaine Harris more than Stephen King, Sci-fi writer Jim Butcher instead of Isaac Asimov. Deep, intense subjects may be the form I read, but not that which I write. But that’s the kind of writer I am, I write comedy. I came to this conclusion a few years ago when I was attempting to write a blog post – a rambling bit about nothing, except aimless snickers and the occasional toss out – the laugh. That’s where my mind goes. Well, that and the gutter, but that’s okay too – who doesn’t like a little dirty joke every once in a while, huh? And I have you my readers to thank for this. You have laughed when I needed you to, responded to what I meant for you to, and encouraged that which is a vital part of who I am. Comedy and love.

Thank you.

Oh, and btw - I have a new blog to remember not to go to, or is that to forget to go to? Either way, there's a new blog in town and it's over in my blog list to the right. Just Taking Dictation is the new blog of a good friend of ours and my co-hort in whatever trouble I get in to. Yeah, Bebo, aka Beverly. Go and take a look, I dare you.

Good Grief, it's Wednesday

I have absolutely nothing to say, which can mean problems. LOL We all know what happens when I have nothing to blog about. There simply isn’t anything going on. I’ve picked up 12 more hours at work, which means that all of my weekdays will be spent at work except for Friday, and then half of Monday. So now I have to fit things in – wonderful. I wasn’t getting a lot done before …

Our weather is being really funky right now. Last Friday it was 84. Monday it was in the 30s with ice. Today we got up to the lower 50s, by Friday we’ll be at 80 again. Then Saturday back into the 40s for the weekend. All of this fluctuation is making a lot of people sick, myself included. My sinuses are going whacky, I’ve got this lousy cough and an almost constantly dripping nose, but then so do a lot of other people. This is really highly unusual for Texas – I mean, we do have a generally mild winter (I can remember wearing shorts on Christmas day as a child), but not this bouncing of extremes.

Well, surprise – this is it! I know, really great post Bailey, you shouldn’t try so hard next time. LOL

So I’ll leave you with a couple of my new favorite LOLcats – not any of mine though, darn it.

And this lovely one that is one of my favorite Robert Frost poems

New Year?

New years, new years resolutions, goals, hopes, dreams – whatever you want to call them. Did you make one this year? I kinda did. I resolved to be better. Just better. Well, maybe more organized. I want to read again. Write. Create worlds for the characters that are clamoring to live outside of my head. At least, I hope they want out of my head. I hope they’re not just yelling for the heck of it, you know? ‘Cuz that would make me a nut case, or something. Hush Bebo!!! Answer emails – now that would be nice. I’m getting really terrible at that. Send out thank you notes for the Christmas surprises – you know who you are, and yes, I’ll thank you, personally, in an email. Honest. Blog again – visit my old friends. Find my old friends. LOL

But mostly, read. I miss that. I really miss getting immersed in a good book, losing myself in the story, whether it be romance or mystery, fantasy, history – I don’t care, just read.

So, what do you want out of this new year?

And yeah, that's my baileyboo!!!

A blog about nothing

Its 4 minutes to 1:00 am. That’s important, ‘cuz I said so. My blog is always posted at 1:00 am every Monday, Wednesday and Friday morning. Always. It’s just that I can’t think of anything to blog about. I know, I’m about as interesting as paint drying. Okay, have you heard the one about the Rabbi and the … oh, you have? Hmmm, well what about Why did Cinderella get thrown out of Disneyland? Oh, wait, I can’t tell that one here, can I? Give me a break will ya? Oh, I know, um, no … that’s really lame.

So, let’s try this a new way. I really do like this time of year, when Texas decides to cooperate and participate in this thing called Fall. Yep, wonderful crisp mornings in the 60s, my kind of temperatures; I can open the windows and turn off the air. The cats like it too, not to mention the mad palpitations my bank account does when it realizes we won’t have to fork over another couple of million for the electric bill. Okay, so I exaggerate, only half a million. Wonderful, that’s even less exciting than paint drying.

I give up. Here, watch this it’s cute. Honest.







Oh, wait!!! I have extra copies of Jill's books Flashpoint and Flashback, her last two Blazes! Anyone want them? All you have to do is comment and I'll draw names. Come on, you know you want to.

A Break

It’s become quite evident that if I don’t go blogging, people aren’t going to come here. And yet, at the moment, I have no urge to go blogging. I don’t know what it is – blogging burnout? I used to go to so many blogs it would take hours to do my list. I got tired. Shoot, I’ve gotten tired of writing my own blog. So I guess I’m going to take a little sabbatical here. Maybe when I start the job hunt, interview process or something, I’ll have something to write about. Right now, it’s just the heat and me. Nothing else to talk about. I don’t have out-laws to gripe about, children to talk about, or anything else of any interest to anyone. I don’t know how long I’ll be gone, I’ll let you know when I’m back. Thanks to those of you who have stuck with me. I promise, I will return.

Love to you all.

Tuesday Talk

I was having a problem with the WIP, sort of that point where you go “is this really any good?” So I had a long talk with Marty on Saturday and I’m feeling a little better about it now. I’m going to try to re-write the prologue from Nathan’s point of view instead of Travis’. It’s going to be difficult to do it without giving away too much of the story – the “is he Everett or not” part of it. But I’ve been thinking about it, and I have an idea of how I’m going to do it.

In other news, I’m thinking about only posting on Monday, Wednesday and Friday for a while – starting next week. It’s becoming more and more difficult to try to find things to blog about. And my blogging stinks. Sorry. I wish I could get around more like I used to, but part of it is the depression. I’m going to talk with my “meds” people and see about switching anti-depressants because this doesn’t seem to be working very well. I haven’t been able to do most of the things that I enjoy – like reading and writing and blogging, oh my! And that’s not good.

Hope y’all have a good Tuesday.

Dere Humanz

We have takin ovur the compooter. If u do not meet r demanz, u wil not see mommie Bailey agin.

1. catnip, lots of it
6. tuna. Nun of that watur crap, reel oyl.
18. milk, reel cow stuff
3. toys
8. comfy bed, fore of them


signed,
the katz

(eccept fur bubba, the cow-word)

Eeek, Monday

Well it’s after 9:00 on Sunday night and I just realized I haven’t written Monday’s blog post, sooooo here I am. I had a quiet Sunday, slept on and off, did some Myspace friending (If you haven’t “friended” me yet – why not?), re-did the bio for that site since what I had there was a bit sparse. Like two sentences? I really hate writing about myself so I’d left it for as long as I could. I’m not so dizzy tonight, but I am still quite tired. I had a really bad dizzy spell this morning – I thought I was going to fall over, which wouldn’t have been a pretty sight. Then I looked at the clock and realized it was after 10:30 a.m. and I hadn’t eaten yet. I’ve never had a sugar drop before, but that may have been what it was – I’m hoping it wasn’t the new meds. I don’t like all of this sleeping – it’s interfering with my writing and reading. When I wasn’t sleeping I was laying in bed catching up on episodes of Supernatural and Criminal Minds that I’d taped last week, tomorrow I catch up on my Dresden episodes.

Oh wow, this is such a titillating post I don’t know how you can stand it. I miss blogging. I miss all of you, and I hope I can get back to it. I won’t be hitting my entire list in one day though – I did that last week and it took almost 2 hours. I don’t know how I’m going to do it, but I’m not dropping any of you, so I’ll figure something out. Right now I’m yawning so much its insane. Or is that you yawning? I wouldn’t blame you. Give me another day and I hope to be back to my usual witty self, or somebody’s witty self, I don’t care.

Y’all take care, thank you for visiting (I do read the comments), and I’ll see you (as soon as my eyes open fully).

Egads!

I'm working with the boss Thursday morning

This has been a warning from the My Boss is a Perfectionist System

We now return you to your regular blogging.

So, yeah, I'm working with the boss on Thursday morning. Can't you tell I'm excited? I like him, but not to work with. He's picky, a perfectionist and he makes me nervous. I make more mistakes when he's around than I would in a month or two. I don't do things the way he does and trying to remember how I'm supposed to do it, well it's just frustrating. On the bright side, I do start my new anti-depressants and anti-anxiety medication that morning too. Maybe they'll conteract each other? I apologize for yesterday - I had a minor meltdown Tuesday night and couldn't post. I thought about mom's birthday, Christmas, New Years as days that would get me, but I never considered Valentine's Day and how lonely I would feel. No card, no rose, no mom. Even through the fog of Alzheimer's last year, she somehow remembered to have Bebo buy me a rose. So yesterday pretty much sucked. Big time. I spent the morning getting enrolled in our low-income medical program, saw a doctor, got hooked up with drugs, had three vials of blood withdrawn and in a couple of weeks I should be seeing a psychiatrist. Then maybe Bailey will be a happy camper again. I've had a very hard time since mom died - being clinically depressed when I began taking care of my parent's didn't help much. Not having any medical care for the last 7 years wasn't a good thing either. It's one of the reasons I've had a hard time getting the house in order, and it's also interfering with my writing. Major no no. When you're depressed you have periods of high energy and then periods where things that you normally enjoy don't interest you; hence the writing and then not writing, reading and then not reading.

On the writing front - weeeellllll, my readers may have fits, but I'm thinking of changing the direction of the story. Brandy, quit throwing things at me; Glenice? Yeah, you and what army; Jeanne, I think my cats can take yours; Susan, yeah, they could probably take yours too. I'm getting to know my characters and, well, they're not happy with the story line. Imagine that - like they think it's their story or something. Of all the nerve. No, really, I think (and Bebo too) that the direction I'm leaning towards is a good one. We'll see, I haven't decided yet.

I'd better get to bed now - I have "you know who" in the morning and I don't want to be a slug.

Sorry I haven't been a good blogging buddy either. I think I mentioned that I'm filling in for someone at work and I've been working every day this week. Things will be back to normal (as normal as I can get) after the weekend.