Last, Part Three

Friday night will be my last night in this house. I'm feeling a bit melancholy tonight. Mostly, I think, because of what this house symbolized. You see, once there was a family of six, now there are three. Once there were family gatherings with in-laws and grandchildren and gr-grandchildren and aunts and uncles and cousins. Now there is only Bebo and I. Once there was a little girl with dreams. Now most of those dreams have slipped by.

Now there will be new dreams, new memories. But I'll always remember that once there was a family. Once.

McCartney and Lennon said it best:

There are places I remember
All my life, though some have changed
Some forever not for better
Some have gone and some remain
All these places had their moments
With lovers and friends I still can recall
Some are dead and some are living
In my life I've loved them all

Lasts, Part Two

First off, let me say that I am very excited about the future. I am by no means ignoring the things ahead of me. I’m just taking this time to say goodbye to something that has been a haven for me for the last 39 years. This is my closure.

So here are the lasts that I am happy about:

This is the last time I’ll have to struggle with the gate to the alley.

The last time I’ll have to struggle with the sliding glass door that is off its track and difficult because of the shifting foundation.

The last time I’ll have to worry about how I’m going to get the lawn mowed.

The last time I’ll have to deal with those ugly squiggly plant things that fall off of the tree every spring.

Speaking of the tree, it’s the last time I’ll have to deal with the web worms.

The last time I’ll have to put up with things not working.

The last time that I’ll have to watch a bad cable connection and not be able to do anything about it because it’s the lines my father split off from the main line.

I won’t have to clean a three bedroom, two living area, two bath home ever again.

No more messing with a broken garage door.

I have a fireplace, so I won’t have to freeze my butt off next winter because I can’t afford to run the furnace.

I won’t have to put up with those barking dogs next door. Don’t get me wrong, dogs are okay – it’s just these dogs I don’t like.

I won’t ever have to look at the mess that my neighbor has made of her home and yard. She’s a nice lady, but a bit on the trashy side.

No more cleaning the alley.

I can put the trash out whenever I want to.

Lasts, Part One

This is my last week in the house, so indulge me a little as I spend some time saying goodbye. There are a lot of "lasts" that I'll be experiencing here. The last time I'll close that door, the last time I'll open that cabinet, the last time ... While I'm excited about my new apartment, I'm also sad about leaving my home of almost 39 years. A lot has happened here, laughter as well as tears. Parties, goodbyes, hellos - I grew from child, to adolescent, to adult in this house. A great many people who are no longer with me have crossed its threshold. Their memories all live not only within me, but within these walls. Wedding showers, baby showers, graduation, birthday and anniversary parties. Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, Memorial Day, Fourth of July, Labor Day, New Years Eve. Oh, the parties we would have. The house filled with people, laughter, conversation, love. Mostly, laughter. My mother and my father both died IN this house. The smells, the sounds - every creek and groan of the house, will be missed. The other day I experienced one of my "last". I woke up that morning to snow, and as I stood there taking pictures I realized that this would be my last snow in this house.

See that tree? My dad planted that tree. My maternal grandmother held it in the hole as he shoveled in dirt. My nephews swung from it. It has shaded me and this house for 25 years. I'll miss it too.

If you don't know what I'm talking about, read the blog below. A few answers about "The situation" - mom's will left the house to us equally. My brother(the executor) says the estate can no longer pay the insurance or house taxes, neither can I. My brother gave me $100 a month while taking care of mom - there was nothing else he could do from Missouri. The estate gave me $7,000 when mom died. I am mad, but at the same time a little resigned. I may have found a home for Neely Shae. Another answer - I can't afford four cats, nor would I take four of them to a one bedroom apartment. There's a small part of me that's kind of relieved. No more watching the house fall down around me, no more worrying about who's going to mow the lawn, etc.

Anyway, while I've been contemplating everything, I've discovered YouTube. So here's something else to look at.

My World has fallen apart

I don’t know what to say. Some of you have been aware of my situation with the house, others won’t know what I’m talking about, but I’m too devastated to go into it. My brother informed me tonight that I have until the end of February or March to vacate the premises. I don’t have a full-time job, so no means of support. I have to get rid of one of the cats. I don’t know what I’m going to do. I don’t feel like blogging right now, so will be gone for a few days. I hope you understand.