Focus

When I first began taking care of mom, well make that mom and dad, I was reading a lot and writing was great. Then dad died and I had to spend more time with mother. Still, I was reading and maybe not writing as much, but writing. As things progressed with mom, I still read, but the writing began to fall to the wayside. I always thought “when this thing with mom is over, I’ll have all the time in the world to write”. Yeah. Mom passed and everything stopped; reading, writing, creativity, etc. Oh, there were moments of creativity – it wasn’t all gone, but it became a chore, not a love. Suddenly I had all of the time, but nothing was really there. I kind of expected that, I was grieving after all. But as time went on, it didn’t change. At first I thought it was my eyes, and part of it turned out to be – bifocals. Still, didn’t change much. Then the bipolar diagnosis and the medication; some things changed, but the flow of creativity, the focus for reading – still MIA. It reminds me a little of the classic Twilight Zone episode called Time Enough at Last. I’ll stop for a few minutes to let you follow the link and read the synopsis. Ready? Okay, that’s me, I have time enough at last, but my “glasses” are broken, or something is broken and I don’t know exactly what. I do know that I need to start reading – that reading feeds my creativity. I know that I need to start writing – even if it is just this blog, because any form of writing is an improvement right now. I also know that I have to find Bailey Stewart again. That’s what I meant about getting back to MySpace, diving into what made her work. Because Bailey Stewart is my key, my way back to the creativity. Everything is there, waiting. And I’ll find it again.

Yippee Ky Yay

Got my glasses. Big yay! And they’re only driving me half-way nuts. All this up and down crap is for the birds. It’s interesting learning which direction to look for different tasks – NOT! But I’ll adjust, I’m sure (gag me).

Sunday Bebo and I rented a couple of movies: Music and Lyrics with Hugh Grant and Drew Barrymore (loved it), and Over the Hedge (bored – although there were some good parts and William Shatner was a hoot).

How was your weekend?

The Eyes Have It

That’s it, the end is coming. I’m officially into middle age. I went to the eye doctor the other day and I have to have bi-focals. BI-FOCALS! I’ve known for some time that there was something wrong with my eyes. I get headaches and my eyes would start hurting whenever I read. So I basically quit reading. But I knew I had to do something about it. So I went. It’s only been a little over 20 years since I’ve had my eyes checked. Forgive me doctor, for I have sinned – it’s been over 20 years since my last exam. Well, that’s what it felt like, confessing of a sin to the optometrist. I figured I was in trouble when I sat down, glasses still on, and couldn’t read the damn eye chart. At all. Not. One. Line. In approximately a week or so I’ll be sporting brand new glasses with no line bi-focals. BI-FOCALS! Me! Forget the silver in my hair, or the tiny lines around my eyes – obvious signs of aging. I’m more upset by the new glasses. Bebo kept teasing me until I turned to her and said “no matter what, you’ll always be older than me”. That shut her up. It’s going to take some getting used to, as I’ve been informed over and over. That’s the part that bothers me – will I be able to see at all? Get used to what? Being able to see again? I look forward to that – and to reading.

Oh, and btw – I wrote a little Saturday night, and even went to my old writer’s group on Sunday.

It's Been a Week

I'm not talking about the internet - it'll just upset me again. I'm over at Bebo's now, paying bills and checking email. We've had quite a week, the two of us, well Bebo mainly. *gg* First she got a ticket going a wee bit fast in a school zone, and then her water pump went out on the car. That's a lot of moola to put out for someone without a job. Yep, Bebo is among the unemployed. She'd already had to put out $300 at the vet's for her cat Jack (who's fine now) and then this. That's three - right?

The new medication they put me on seems to be doing it's job - I'm not as anxious all of the time, settled down a bit. I'm still not reading a lot - found out it wasn't only the bi-polar stuff, but my eyesight. I can read for a little bit and then I have to stop because my eyes start to hurt. Yes folks, you can say it - Bailey has "over-40" eyes. It's time for bi-focals. I'm not happy about it. Shhh, I heard that. Just wait until you get old.

On Friday and Saturday we had a garage sale at the house. Got rid of a lot of junk, er, stuff. Thankfully, the weather held and we had a couple of pleasant days.

Not much more going on except for "you know what" and I ain't talking about it. Marty honey, come out of the corner. That's a good girl.

Take care and I hope to be back to you soon.