Mixed News

I had a bit of an unusual day yesterday. Since we’re friends, I’ll always try to keep you informed about what is happening to me, but I won’t dwell on it – I want this to be a happy place.

Anyway, I went for a psych evaluation. We all know I’ve been depressed since mom’s death, but it’s more than that. I’ve been depressed for most of my adult life. So that was no surprise. We also know I suffer from a form of agoraphobia, once again no surprise, except for the fact that it’s getting worse. A panic disorder wasn’t a surprise either. What was the surprise was the probable diagnosis of bi-polar. Well, I can’t really say that that was a total surprise either – Bebo and I had suspected it for quite some time, since Howard was bi-polar and Bebo was very acquainted with that condition. I am around the same age Howard was when his condition became evident. Being bi-polar doesn’t really scare me as I know with medication that it can be handled. It’s what happened to Howard later that scares me. He began showing signs of schizophrenia – or rather schizoid affects. It’s in our family, there waiting in the shadows. I try not to think about it. But, the bi-polar does explain the spurts of writing and then none. It explains a lot of things.

Anyhoo, I just wanted everyone to know what was going on. I’ll be okay – as long as I have people to “talk” to so I don’t feel so isolated. Y’all have been great friends. Thank you.

EDIT: I forgot that some people have just begun popping in. Howard was my brother who passed away in 2005. Bebo is his widow.

Monday, Monday

This is the character board I did for The Devil You Know, I've changed some of the people I picked out for my characters though. This isn’t an actual storyboard, but a small (about the size of the flat insert in shirts) group of images that I would take with me if I worked over at Bebo’s house. We used to do that a lot, work in her bedroom while my brother Howard watched TV in the living area. We’d bounce ideas off of each other, talk through storyline problems, search through endless magazines for character pictures. Some days we’d go over to B&N or Borders (whichever had an outdoor sitting area) and write. The original opening scene for The Devil You Know was written while at one of those places. I used to be able to write in long-hand then. But most importantly, I would come home full of energy and excitement about the writing that I couldn’t wait to get started. I miss those days. When we’re through with The House we’re going to try to start doing that again.

They’ve brought the “s” word back in to the forecast (snow) for this Wednesday. I have an appointment early that day that I had to wait three weeks to get. I don’t know what I’ll do if I have to cancel it, so I’m hoping for a light snow and no ice.

That’s it. A co-worker is on vacation and I have to work a 1 – 5 shift today. I hate that. I can’t really do anything because once I get started on something I have to quit and get ready for work. Oh well, it’s only one day. I’ll also be working Wednesday night and a full shift on Saturday, so I’ll be picking up 12 extra hours this week. That will help.

I’m outta here. I have to go to Wallyworld tomorrow and since I have to be at work by 1:00 I’ll need to get up early and get stuff done.

Have a great Monday everyone.