Hello world, it's been a long time. I'm not writing any more ... well, I'm not writing any less either (sorry about the stolen line LOL).
I'm posting this because I want everybody to know what's going on ... why I'm no longer here, or writing, or ...
They call it Mild Cognitive Decline, and that's what the doctors and I are looking at, or will be as soon as I can get my health insurance going again.
Words ... oh gosh how to put this ... they aren't there. I'm not talking about a writer's block type of word-napping but more of my mind burying words in some graveyard in the recesses of my mind and - my scythe isn't quite sharp enough to get there anymore.
Words ... the wrong ones, a substitution of a "something" that has no connection to the word it was meant to be. A text to my sister-in-law the other day where I kept using the word "expansion" instead of "inspection". They don't go together unless the local fire department is going to expand on the inspection of the apartment complex.
Words ... it used to be that when I couldn't remember a word I could at least bookmark it somehow and keep going, but no - the mind won't move away from it and I become so obsessed in finding that word that I lose whatever train of thought I had, and I'm always hanging my train of thought on a thread anyway. Describe the word? Doesn't work either because I can no more describe the word than think of it - even synonyms won't work. If I can't grab the word close enough to see it, I can't grab it close enough to understand what it is.
Words ... I had a stupendous vocabulary, a plethora of nouns and their sisters pro, verb, and adverb. Forget about dangling participles because I can't remember from hence it dangles. Is "hence" right? It doesn't feel right and now I'm worried that the entire sentence makes no sense whatsoever ...
Words ... I start the sentence and forget it before I can even finish typing it ... and sometimes before I can even type "it" ... my train of thought jumps the tracks, heads down the side of the mountain and disappears in a fog at the bottom of the cliff. It's gone, it's not coming back ...
Anyway, that's where I am ... how I am ... who I am ... and what I'll never be again.
ADDED: I've edited, fixed and whatever the goofs I've made and probably didn't get most of them ... and this took a week to write so ... if there's more goofs, it's my mind ... and it's goofy ...
