Friday, May 29, 2009


Too much ozone - too much cottonwood. It's a deadly combination. So, breathless as I am ... here is a Friday funny.

Bebo sent this too me. And yes, I'm afraid, very afraid. I don't know if it's true or not, but it scares the poo out of me. And still, I can't help but laugh.

"In a college classroom, they were discussing the qualifications to be President of the United States. It was pretty simple – the candidate must be a natural born citizen of at least 35 years of age. However, one girl in the class immediately started in on how unfair was the requirement to be a natural born citizen. In short, her opinion was that this requirement prevented many capable individuals from becoming president. The class was taking it in and letting her rant, but everyone's jaw hit the floor when she wrapped up her argument by stating, 'What makes a natural born citizen any more qualified to lead this country than one born by C-section?'"

So the next time you wonder about how some people get elected - now you know.

You didn't think I'd let you go without YouTube??

There are days when I feel exactly like this.

Oh, and btw - Bubba got real interested in this "screaming". LOL

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

The Monday That Should Have Been

If the computer hadn't messed up, this would have been my Memorial Day blog.

I used to think that Memorial Day was for those that died at war, but since I began losing the veterans in my family I've started including them - they served, they came home, they lived their lives and are no longer with us.

My family veterans that have left us:

The Civil War

John William Smutz (the only one that did not come home. Battle of the Wilderness, KIA, May 5-6, 1864)


John E. O'Connell
Glenn A. Trotter
Frank O'Connell


(This also includes Glenn Trotter, who served in both "big wars")
Harry E. Mardis
H. James Mardis
Richard Mardis
Mario Carli
Walt Watson
Golda O'Connell Trotter
Thomas O'Connell
Dorothy Rhodes O'Connell
William H. Proudfit

And I gladly stand up,
next to you and defend her still today.
‘Cause there ain’t no doubt I love this land,
God bless the USA.

Sunday, May 24, 2009


I have been hit by a piece of malicious malware called WinPC. I am doing what I can to rectify the problem, or should I say that Microsoft scan is trying the rectify the problem - except my stupid laptop is doing it's usual freezing during scan thingy and I keep having to start over. I don't know when I will be back. Keep your fingers crossed that I do not have to strip the laptop and start over!!!

Friday, May 22, 2009

A little dollop of Spam

Forget about me. (What was your name again?)

Feeling ill? We may make you feel healthy very easily. (You leaving?)

Let’s cancel, I saw whether forecast. (Whether we'll have weather or not?)

Did he really call it a ‘Nymphomercial”? (He did, I heard him with my own little ears)

New horizons of Saxual intercourse with lubrication. (I don't even want to know what you're doing with a Sax and lubrication)

That’s what I told you. (I heard you, I just said I don't want to hear more)

Lift your lover couch experience. (I can't even lift my hide-a-bed)

Are you happy? (And you know it clap your hands *clap, clap*)

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Yeah, yeah, yeah

So it's Wednesday, and as usual I have nothing to blog about. Well, I could tell you about the luncheon on Saturday, but then I'd have to hurt myself - so we don't want to go there.

I'm always promising myself that I'm going to set up the week's worth of blogs on Sunday - but then I don't, so I'm struggling the night before trying to think of things to say - and I have nothing. Well, not exactly nothing since I seem to have typed quite a few sentences for nothing.

Now, what do I do when I have nothing to blog about? Yeah, you got it - YOUTUBE!!!

I want this kiten, and I want it now

This is what the owner of this cat says:
This is not a trick that was taught to Nora. She began sitting at the piano at about one-year-old. She's four now. She plays only when the mood strikes her, which is usually several time a times a day for short periods.

I hope y'all have a great Wednesday - hey, the weekend is almost here!!

Monday, May 18, 2009

Can my face hurt any worse?

So, I have the sinus headache from hell. I'm just going to post my notes from the Yellow Rose luncheon on Saturday and tell you more about it on Wednesday.

What's she doing?

Sitting at a workshop, so be quiet.

I'm always quiet.


What's it about?


She's listening to someone talk about writing?


Shouldn't they be writing?


Writing about writing.

Then they would be reading.


I thought you were going to be quiet?

I am quiet.

Yeah, and Queen Elizabeth loves to do the Rumba.

She does?

No moron.

Well why did you say she did?

It was an example.

An example of lying?

Are you going to be quiet?

I'm being quiet.


*mumbles* Liar

Friday, May 15, 2009

Baby you can drive my car ....

#1 [insert name of store - which obviously has the word books in it] "May I help you?"

"How much for a simple haircut?"

"This is a bookstore."

"This isn't the Hair Derby?"

No, but if you give us $20, we have scissors and tape

#2 "Where is your Native American Section?"

"It's in the back room, in the corner."

"And you can buy those?"

No, those are the only books that we don't sell

#3 "Do you have any books by Irish Johnson?"

My co-worker looks puzzled.

"Do you mean Iris Johansen?" I ask politely

She gives me a withering look, "No, it's Johnson. Irish Johnson." I decide to sit back and watch this one.

Besides, it's Johansen, Iris Johansen.

"Maybe you mean Susan Johnson?" Yeah, my co-worker is a sucker.

"No, it's Irish, Irish Johnson"

No, it's Iris Johansen!

My co-worker goes to the computer to (you should really try this site, it's incredible if you are trying to find all the books in a series, etc.) and types in Irish Johnson. Of course, no authors found. That's 'cuz it's Iris Johansen!!

"I'm sorry, I'm not finding her. Could you tell me the name of a book?" She's gonna tell you the name of an Iris Johansen book, bet ya, bet ya, bet ya.

"Dark Summer" Two points.

My co-worker obligingly types in Dark Summer. "Um, it says Iris Johansen"

"Well, that's what I've been saying."

I guess we all need hearing aids.

And the winner is ....... And keep in mind, that these are real ......

#4 "I'm looking for a biography of Einstein."

Absolutely nothing funny about that.

I take her to the Science section first, as we normally put the subject in their field. Not there. On the way to another section - "Do you have a particular one in mind"

"One he wrote himself."

"Oh, you mean his autobiography"

Long pause and deer in the headlights gaze.

"No, I don't think his car in involved."


Wednesday, May 13, 2009

How difficult can it be?????

I pull into the Sonic on the way home from work (this is my mad money Bebo, I turned my state quarters into cash) and made my usual order - bacon cheeseburger, pickles and mayo only, and a large fry.

Hesitation: bacon cheeseburger, pickles and mayo only?
Um, yes.

Pull up to window:
Did you want cheese and bacon on that?

Are we surrounded by idiots? No, really. This is the 4th time this has happened, third time at this Sonic. The first time it happened was in a Brahms years ago. I walked in, ordered a bacon cheeseburger, pickle and mayo only. The young man behind the counter stared at me.

And do you want cheese and bacon with that?

I wanted to grab him by his collar, pull him until we were face to face and say:
No, I only want a hamburger with pickles and mayonaisse. But I want you to charge me for a bacon cheeseburger.

Like I said on another blog about the woman who walked clear through our store and then walked up to the counter and asked if we sold books? Get a grip!!!!!

You know, not knowing who the 33rd president of the United States was is one thing; not being able to follow simple instructions or recognize the obvious is beyond complete idiocy. Those student essays of mine aren't as scary as this is.

So that's all I have for a Wednesday. My latest frustration.

What frustrates you?

Monday, May 11, 2009


Computer problems last night, computer problems this morning, so this is all you get. Happy Monday!!!!!

funny pictures of cats with captions
see more Lolcats and funny pictures

Accccck, it cut off the end .... well, I think you can figure out what it says.

funny pictures
moar funny pictures

And one I made ....

funny pictures
moar funny pictures

Friday, May 08, 2009

Once More with Feeling ....




What Ernie?


Would you shut up!

You don’t have to be mean about it. All I was doing was calling your name.

I was having a wonderful evening until I was interrupted.

By who?


A flock of sheep interrupted you?

No, you – y o u.

It’s okay Bud, you don’t have to spell in front of me.

Maybe I should spell behind you.

B e h i n d

Stop that!

What were you doing Bud?

Sun worshipping with Cindy Crawford.

Wow, sounds like you were having more fun than I was.

What were you doing?

Visiting Paris Hilton’s head.


I wanted to be alone.

That would do it.

I think I have the swine flu.

Good grief, what makes you think that?

I’ve been oinking.

That’s not swine flu.

It isn’t?

No, it isn’t.

Then why do I keep rolling around in the mud?

I’ve been asking myself that for a long time.


Well what?

Did you ever answer yourself?

There is no answer, it just …. is.

Some things are like that.

Some things are better off left alone.

Yeah, like worm pudding.

Definitely worm pudding.

Especially when it’s a day old.

Where did you get worm pudding?

I made it.


‘Cuz I had to do something with all of those worms I found in the mud.

Of course you did, why do I even ask.

‘Cuz you’re looking for intelligent answers?

Obviously I’ve been asking the wrong person, or should I say voice.

You get what you pay for.

Like I said ….

Thursday, May 07, 2009

Once More

Okay, there's a tie between customers and Bud/Ernie, spam is out. And no, I'm not going to do both of them ..... you have until 9:00pm cst tonight. Thank you.

Gotta get ready for work. But in the meantime:

funny pictures
moar funny pictures

funny pictures
moar funny pictures

funny pictures
moar funny pictures

Wednesday, May 06, 2009

If it's Wednesday this must be May

Well, here it is Wednesday again. Aren't we thrilled. And folks, I have an announcement to make - yes, we will get into the 90s this week. I am sooooo happy I could puke. We all know how Bailey feels about heat. Say it all together "Bailey hates heat!!!". There, I feel better now that everyone is in agreement.

Once again, I'm scrambling for things to blog about. The last time we talked about words we get mixed up - and you had some good ones. Another that I want to throw in is effect/affect. I don't think I will ever understand those two words. Don't even try to explain it to me, I'll just rely on the grammar check, thank you so much. I have, on the other hand, finally conquered the me/I ordeal. I finally learned the "formula". Okay, it all depends on how the sentence would be without the other person involved. Wiped that confused look off of your face. For example:

"Bebo and I will go to the store." Now, I know it's "I" because if you take Bebo out of the equation, the sentence "Me will go to the store" makes absolutely no sense. But "I will go to the store", does. Me? "The truck bore down on Jeanne and me." You see, the sentence "The truck bore down on I" is obviously wrong. That's how I learned it - take the other person out of the sentence and see if it makes sense. Of course, this has led to big pauses in my conversations.

And that's your Wednesday blog of the week. Next Wednesday we will dissect the old question "Does your chewing gum lose its flavor on the bedpost overnight?"

Now lets discuss Friday. I think we'll have it this week, in case you were wondering. But what will we have? I've decided to let you decide, but you must answer by 9:00 pm cst Thursday night. Here are your choices:

Bud and Ernie
Things my customers say/do

Have a great hump day.

Monday, May 04, 2009

It's About Time

Yeah, about time I got back here. I do not in any way wish that virus on anybody, well, maybe one person......

What a lovely couple of days we're having. Yesterday (Sunday) it didn't get out of the 60s, and today it'll be a little bit higher, but still - with a week that's looking at a couple of 90 degree days, I'm loving this. Of course, it did mean terrible storms Saturday, so bad that I'm sure you've heard about the Dallas Cowboys practice dome collapsing. Couple of serious injuries there. There were several members of the media in the dome, so some excellent video exists. This was the rookie camp, and what I liked (for lack of a better word) was the many players in uniform working to free others. The thunder from this storm sent the cats scurrying a bit - and these cats don't really react to thunder. It left a trail of damage in it's path - but so far only one possible tornado, down near where Bebo was for the weekend.

Let's see, what else has been going on? Um, hmmmm, I did miss my on-line workshop - the week I was sick, and then the second week where trying to play catch-up was impossible. I have all of the lesson plans and I will be doing them.

That leads me to another question ... is in on-line or online? No, I'm serious - I've seen it both ways and was just wondering.

There are a lot of words like that, words that confuse me - for instance, effect and affect. Don't try to tell me, many have tried and failed. So, what word/words give you a problem?

Have a happy Monday - and I'll see you Wednesday!

Friday, May 01, 2009