Friday, May 15, 2009
Baby you can drive my car ....
#1 [insert name of store - which obviously has the word books in it] "May I help you?"
"How much for a simple haircut?"
"This is a bookstore."
"This isn't the Hair Derby?"
No, but if you give us $20, we have scissors and tape
#2 "Where is your Native American Section?"
"It's in the back room, in the corner."
"And you can buy those?"
No, those are the only books that we don't sell
#3 "Do you have any books by Irish Johnson?"
My co-worker looks puzzled.
"Do you mean Iris Johansen?" I ask politely
She gives me a withering look, "No, it's Johnson. Irish Johnson." I decide to sit back and watch this one.
Besides, it's Johansen, Iris Johansen.
"Maybe you mean Susan Johnson?" Yeah, my co-worker is a sucker.
"No, it's Irish, Irish Johnson"
No, it's Iris Johansen!
My co-worker goes to the computer to Fantasticfiction.com (you should really try this site, it's incredible if you are trying to find all the books in a series, etc.) and types in Irish Johnson. Of course, no authors found. That's 'cuz it's Iris Johansen!!
"I'm sorry, I'm not finding her. Could you tell me the name of a book?" She's gonna tell you the name of an Iris Johansen book, bet ya, bet ya, bet ya.
"Dark Summer" Two points.
My co-worker obligingly types in Dark Summer. "Um, it says Iris Johansen"
"Well, that's what I've been saying."
I guess we all need hearing aids.
And the winner is ....... And keep in mind, that these are real ......
#4 "I'm looking for a biography of Einstein."
Absolutely nothing funny about that.
I take her to the Science section first, as we normally put the subject in their field. Not there. On the way to another section - "Do you have a particular one in mind"
"One he wrote himself."
"Oh, you mean his autobiography"
Long pause and deer in the headlights gaze.
"No, I don't think his car in involved."