No, you have to have the password

For those of you who only stop in every once in a while - these are the things that happen in the bookstore where I work. Yes, it's true stuff.

Up and Coming Authors and Books (I'm not giving hints this time. I have to figure them out, so do you. Some are easy.)

John London
Josephine Johnson
Tony Hilleran
Suzanne Foster
Jill Shulbis (my personal favorite - hey, at least they're looking for her.)
Carol Harris
Charles Dickers
Anne Broadrick
Judy Pickle
J.D. Roberts
The Illyard
My Angelina

Customers, we so do love them

"How much for the free stuff out on the sidewalk?" ($350 gadzillion)
"I'm looking for a book and I thought you could help me." (No I only work here)
Looking straight at the CD's on the counter "Do you sell CD's?" (Not to you - those are for the free box sale)
"Do you have the new Harry Potter movie yet?" (If we do, they're looking for us ...)
"When will you get in Bed of Roses? (My guess, when it's out and someone buys it - for the uninformed, that'll be October. For the further uninformed, it's Nora Robb, er, Roberts.)
"I'm looking for a book." (Okay, just stand there and stare at me, I'm sure your thoughts will become my thoughts ... which is scary)


Answer phone: "Paperbacks Plus in Mesquite."
"Jesse?"
"There's no one named Jesse here. This is a bookstore."
"So Jesse isn't there?"
(Yeah, she's over in the "for dummies section".)


"What do you mean I have to pay something? Did you use my store credit?"
"Yes, but store credit only covers half of your purchase. You have to pay the other half plus tax."
"It seems to me that it should cover the entire purchase."
"We have to have money to pay the bills."
"Not my problem."
(no comment, didn't find this one particularly funny - just wanted to share that I didn't hit her.)


And for the finale ...

Woman rushes through the door and up to the counter - points to the interior of the store.
"Can I go look for a book?"
(Only if you have the password)

I Twitter, therefore I am?

So yeah, I've succumbed to Twitter, and am now tweeting. See? Over there on the left of the screen? That's Twitter. Big deal, huh? But you know, I'm kinda liking it so far.

Last week was sooooo long! "How long was it Bailey?" Well, since you asked. I guess if I were used to it, or if I worked a less physically demanding job, it wouldn't have been so bad. I worked Monday - Friday 9 - 5. By the time Friday came around I was so sore - my hips and knees were a mess. I spent most of Friday going up and down the step-ladder. I didn't get a thing done at home, and spent most of today (that being Sunday) trying to rest AND catch up on chores. Thankfully, this week will be sort of back to normal.

Saturday Bebo and I went to my cousins house for a going away party. My cousin Michael is in the National Guard (Navy) and is being shipped out on his second tour overseas. We don't know exactly where or when yet, but he leaves for Gulf Port, MS at the end of this month. Please keep him and his family in your prayers.

So, what's the hardest job (either mentally or physically) that you've ever had?

I owe, I owe ....

It's back to work I go ...... for the first time since last Wednesday. I am so tired, but I only have 2 days and then off Friday. I can do it. I'm debating as to whether I should take a book or the crosswords with me. Going to take it easy today and only do what I have to - check out customers and take in books, otherwise I'm sitting on my ass. This prednisone is kicking my ass, although I slept better last night than I did Monday - when I got to sleep. I'm hyper and overheated - not a wonderful combination. Filling in for a co-worker on Monday, which means I'm facing five 8 hour shifts in a row next week. Sheesh. Bailey will not be a happy camper.

So, what are looking forward to today - this week - next week? Please let it be a lot more fun than I'm going to have.

Baby you can drive my car ....

#1 [insert name of store - which obviously has the word books in it] "May I help you?"

"How much for a simple haircut?"

"This is a bookstore."

"This isn't the Hair Derby?"

No, but if you give us $20, we have scissors and tape

#2 "Where is your Native American Section?"

"It's in the back room, in the corner."

"And you can buy those?"

No, those are the only books that we don't sell

#3 "Do you have any books by Irish Johnson?"

My co-worker looks puzzled.

"Do you mean Iris Johansen?" I ask politely

She gives me a withering look, "No, it's Johnson. Irish Johnson." I decide to sit back and watch this one.

Besides, it's Johansen, Iris Johansen.

"Maybe you mean Susan Johnson?" Yeah, my co-worker is a sucker.

"No, it's Irish, Irish Johnson"

No, it's Iris Johansen!

My co-worker goes to the computer to Fantasticfiction.com (you should really try this site, it's incredible if you are trying to find all the books in a series, etc.) and types in Irish Johnson. Of course, no authors found. That's 'cuz it's Iris Johansen!!

"I'm sorry, I'm not finding her. Could you tell me the name of a book?" She's gonna tell you the name of an Iris Johansen book, bet ya, bet ya, bet ya.

"Dark Summer" Two points.

My co-worker obligingly types in Dark Summer. "Um, it says Iris Johansen"

"Well, that's what I've been saying."

I guess we all need hearing aids.

And the winner is ....... And keep in mind, that these are real ......

#4 "I'm looking for a biography of Einstein."

Absolutely nothing funny about that.

I take her to the Science section first, as we normally put the subject in their field. Not there. On the way to another section - "Do you have a particular one in mind"

"One he wrote himself."

"Oh, you mean his autobiography"

Long pause and deer in the headlights gaze.

"No, I don't think his car in involved."

Clunk

I'll Take the One in the Yellow ....

*insert name of bookstore* "in Mesquite, may I help you?"

"Oh I hope so, I'm looking for a book ..." long silence (Again, calling a bookstore is a great way to start)

"Which book are you looking for?"

"Oh, yeah, I don't know the name" (oh no, not again) "but I have the ISBN number, does that help?" (About as much as Charlie Sheen at a panty raid).

"No, I'm sorry, our books are categorized by genre and then by author"

"So the ISBN number won't help you?" (Would a squirt bottle have helped Joan of Arc?)

"You don't know the title?"

"Um, I know it's yellow ...." (There's a reason inbreeding is frowned upon.)


Overheard between two customers:

"You can buy these books?" (No, we give them away, but you can't have any.)


and the award goes to ....

"Do you know who wrote Marilyn Monroes autobiography?" (I'm guessing Groucho Marx)

Just Another Dismal Tuesday

Tuesday evening, April 14

I’ve had a lousy day, oh not cataclysmic, but lousy nonetheless. Work was really busy – busier than it usually is during the week. We had a slow morning, and then everybody and their dog came in after lunch. None of them had less than 2 bags, the average being 3 each. Our take-in shelves filled up and we even had a drop-off that we were not able to get to. Just to give you a bit of an average weekday – we usually have the take-in shelves cleared before we leave. Today we couldn’t even touch them. Oh well, that does give me something to do tomorrow morning.

Then there was the moment before I left work that I found last Wednesday’s deposit still in my purse. That wasn’t a great feeling.

I finally pulled myself through the front door at about 5:45; didn’t get on-line until after 8. Not that I wasn’t trying. I’d started trying to get on-line at about 6. The computer kept freezing and yes, 2 hours later I’m finally here doing my blog entry. So if I’m a little short, and not that funny … you’ll know why. Bailey is not a happy camper.

But alas, there isn’t much I can do about it – I definitely can’t afford a new laptop, and the CPU? Forgetaboutit. It’s slower than FEMA. Okay, now that was a little cute, right?

Okay, since obviously I’m a stick in the mud this evening, I’m going to give you a couple of LOlcats to make you smile. Please, please have a great Wednesday, and send the karma this way.


moar funny pictures


moar funny pictures


moar funny pictures


moar funny pictures

Joyce Evanovich and Janet Plum

Sometimes I love working in a bookstore .....

*phone rings* (insert name of store) “May I help you?”

(pause)

“I’m looking for a book.”

(another pause)

This is where I bite my tongue, lest I say something along the lines of “well, you’ve made a hell of a great start.” “What’s the name and the author?”

(Insert title of book that I’ve never heard of and an author whose parent’s must have been on crack when they named him) “What type of book is that?’

(pause)

“It’s a paperback.”

Oh geeze, that narrows it down… “What is it about? Is it fiction or non-fiction?”

“Umm, it’s real?”

Oh damn, those real books ….

Another scenario

*customer walks into store and up to the counter*

“May I help you?”

“I’m looking for a book.”

Oh no, not again!

“Got a title and/or author?”

“No, I can’t remember, but it’s a romance. I think the author had three names.”

Should I slit my wrists now?

“Well, do you remember what it was about?”

“Yes, it’s about a man and a woman …”

Oh, one of those

“They fall in love …”

Hence the romance part.

“But something happens and they break up …”

That would be the black moment.

“And then they get back together again.”

I swear, I’m gonna get a cattle prod.


But it’s these that I love the most …

“I’m looking for those Janet Plum books by Joyce Evanovich”

“Do you have A Christmas Story by Charles Dickinson?”

“Any westerns by Hillary, er, Hillerin?” *Tony Hillerman*

“I love those books by Linda Mary Miller.” Did she write a book about a man and a woman who fall in love, but something breaks them up …..


And thank you all so much for your kind words about Cissy. I still can't believe it, and I'm still crying at a drop of the hat, but I do feel better now.

Good Grief, it's Wednesday

I have absolutely nothing to say, which can mean problems. LOL We all know what happens when I have nothing to blog about. There simply isn’t anything going on. I’ve picked up 12 more hours at work, which means that all of my weekdays will be spent at work except for Friday, and then half of Monday. So now I have to fit things in – wonderful. I wasn’t getting a lot done before …

Our weather is being really funky right now. Last Friday it was 84. Monday it was in the 30s with ice. Today we got up to the lower 50s, by Friday we’ll be at 80 again. Then Saturday back into the 40s for the weekend. All of this fluctuation is making a lot of people sick, myself included. My sinuses are going whacky, I’ve got this lousy cough and an almost constantly dripping nose, but then so do a lot of other people. This is really highly unusual for Texas – I mean, we do have a generally mild winter (I can remember wearing shorts on Christmas day as a child), but not this bouncing of extremes.

Well, surprise – this is it! I know, really great post Bailey, you shouldn’t try so hard next time. LOL

So I’ll leave you with a couple of my new favorite LOLcats – not any of mine though, darn it.

And this lovely one that is one of my favorite Robert Frost poems

Calendar Says Wednesday, but That Has to be Wrong

Wow! It’s Wednesday already? Gadzooks this vacation has gone by fast and my hand isn’t near ready to go to work on Thursday. The butterfly strips are holding on fast, so that means I’m going to have to wrap the hand in gauze to keep it completely sealed in that dirty, dingy bookstore. Sheesh.

Tuesday went by rather quietly. I didn’t do a lot, just some photoshopping to keep my mind off of things. Can you see Bubba in the picture above? Of course you can, ya can’t hide that orange body. This is another contest entry, like the two before. This program that I’m using is free and it’s called GIMP. You can download it – I think its GIMP.com, but check, you probably can find it if you Google GIMP. It’s an easy program to learn; I’m still in the amateurish stage, but I’m having fun with it.

We are going to have great weather on Wednesday, well except for the rain maybe. The temps will be more fall-like. Sometime in the afternoon we’ll creep to the mid-70s, and then a cool front will come in and the temps will drop into the 60s by evening. It will be a perfect day to turn off the A/C and open windows.

Can you believe it’s the middle of October now? I do love this time of year but it’s also my most melancholy; the holiday season. Not to mention mom’s birthday in November. Bebo wants to have Thanksgiving at her apartment. Don’t know if anyone else will make it (friends) or if it will be another Thanksgiving with just the two of us. Oh wait, I spent Thanksgiving alone last year, so having it with just Bebo will be an improvement.

Here I am talking about Thanksgiving and we haven’t hit Halloween yet. Who do I think I am, a department store? Halloween, my first in an apartment. I don’t know how much trick or treating is done here; there are a lot of kids in the complex. So I guess I’ll buy candy – I will either have to buy something I don’t like so I won’t eat it before Halloween, or at least throw in a bag for me.

So, what are y’all up to? Anything exciting, titillating, mysterious, adventurous – come on y’all, you know I live vicariously through you!

Have a great Wednesday, thank you so much for the wonderful comments yesterday – I appreciated them more than you can know.

Wisdom of Larry the Cable Guy

Hand is pretty sore after work today. Luckily, I've started vacation, so don't have to go back until next Thursday!

1. A day without sunshine is like night.

2. On the other hand, you have different fingers.

3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

5. Remember, half the people you know are below average.

6. He who laughs last thinks slowest.

7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.

9. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.

10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

11. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.

12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.

13. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.

14. OK, so what's the speed of dark?

15. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

16. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

17. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?

18. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

19. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?

20. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

21. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, 'What the heck happened?'

22. Just remember -- if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.

23. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

24. Life isn't like a box of chocolates. It's more like a jar of jalapeno's. What you do today, might burn your butt tomorrow.

Egads!

I'm working with the boss Thursday morning

This has been a warning from the My Boss is a Perfectionist System

We now return you to your regular blogging.

So, yeah, I'm working with the boss on Thursday morning. Can't you tell I'm excited? I like him, but not to work with. He's picky, a perfectionist and he makes me nervous. I make more mistakes when he's around than I would in a month or two. I don't do things the way he does and trying to remember how I'm supposed to do it, well it's just frustrating. On the bright side, I do start my new anti-depressants and anti-anxiety medication that morning too. Maybe they'll conteract each other? I apologize for yesterday - I had a minor meltdown Tuesday night and couldn't post. I thought about mom's birthday, Christmas, New Years as days that would get me, but I never considered Valentine's Day and how lonely I would feel. No card, no rose, no mom. Even through the fog of Alzheimer's last year, she somehow remembered to have Bebo buy me a rose. So yesterday pretty much sucked. Big time. I spent the morning getting enrolled in our low-income medical program, saw a doctor, got hooked up with drugs, had three vials of blood withdrawn and in a couple of weeks I should be seeing a psychiatrist. Then maybe Bailey will be a happy camper again. I've had a very hard time since mom died - being clinically depressed when I began taking care of my parent's didn't help much. Not having any medical care for the last 7 years wasn't a good thing either. It's one of the reasons I've had a hard time getting the house in order, and it's also interfering with my writing. Major no no. When you're depressed you have periods of high energy and then periods where things that you normally enjoy don't interest you; hence the writing and then not writing, reading and then not reading.

On the writing front - weeeellllll, my readers may have fits, but I'm thinking of changing the direction of the story. Brandy, quit throwing things at me; Glenice? Yeah, you and what army; Jeanne, I think my cats can take yours; Susan, yeah, they could probably take yours too. I'm getting to know my characters and, well, they're not happy with the story line. Imagine that - like they think it's their story or something. Of all the nerve. No, really, I think (and Bebo too) that the direction I'm leaning towards is a good one. We'll see, I haven't decided yet.

I'd better get to bed now - I have "you know who" in the morning and I don't want to be a slug.

Sorry I haven't been a good blogging buddy either. I think I mentioned that I'm filling in for someone at work and I've been working every day this week. Things will be back to normal (as normal as I can get) after the weekend.

Monday, Monday

This is the character board I did for The Devil You Know, I've changed some of the people I picked out for my characters though. This isn’t an actual storyboard, but a small (about the size of the flat insert in shirts) group of images that I would take with me if I worked over at Bebo’s house. We used to do that a lot, work in her bedroom while my brother Howard watched TV in the living area. We’d bounce ideas off of each other, talk through storyline problems, search through endless magazines for character pictures. Some days we’d go over to B&N or Borders (whichever had an outdoor sitting area) and write. The original opening scene for The Devil You Know was written while at one of those places. I used to be able to write in long-hand then. But most importantly, I would come home full of energy and excitement about the writing that I couldn’t wait to get started. I miss those days. When we’re through with The House we’re going to try to start doing that again.

They’ve brought the “s” word back in to the forecast (snow) for this Wednesday. I have an appointment early that day that I had to wait three weeks to get. I don’t know what I’ll do if I have to cancel it, so I’m hoping for a light snow and no ice.

That’s it. A co-worker is on vacation and I have to work a 1 – 5 shift today. I hate that. I can’t really do anything because once I get started on something I have to quit and get ready for work. Oh well, it’s only one day. I’ll also be working Wednesday night and a full shift on Saturday, so I’ll be picking up 12 extra hours this week. That will help.

I’m outta here. I have to go to Wallyworld tomorrow and since I have to be at work by 1:00 I’ll need to get up early and get stuff done.

Have a great Monday everyone.