Monday, October 19, 2009
P.S. And they called it Puppy Love
Friday, October 16, 2009
I got these from my friend Angie!
- I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
- More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that's not only better, but also more directly involves me.
- Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
- Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.
- I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
- Is it just me, or are 80% of the people in the "people you may know" feature on Facebook people that I do know, but I deliberately choose not to be friends with?
- There is a great need for sarcasm font.
- I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really, really gets it.
- How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
- I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
- I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
- The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.
- I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
- How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?
- Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using 'as in' examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss's last name to an attorney and said "Yes that's G as in...(10 second lapse)..ummm...Goonies"
- What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?
- MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
- I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.
- Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
- I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
- Bad decisions make good stories
- If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible.
- Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a problem....
- You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.
- There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.
- I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.
- "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever.
- I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Dammit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?
- As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
- Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
- It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.
- I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
- Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what do to with it.
- Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, hitting the G-spot, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet my ass everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time...
- My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day "Dad what would happen if you ran over a ninja?" How the hell do I respond to that?
- It really pisses me off when I want to read a story on CNN.com and the link takes me to a video instead of text.
- I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.
- I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
- I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Friday, October 02, 2009
Shayla Black is the national bestselling author of 25+ sizzling contemporary, erotic, paranormal, and historical romances for multiple print and electronic publishers. She lives in Texas with her husband, munchkin, and one very spoiled cat. In her “free” time, she enjoys reality TV, reading and listening to an eclectic blend of music.
Shayla has won or placed in over a dozen writing contests, including Passionate Ink’s Passionate Plume, Colorado Romance Writers Award of Excellence, and the National Reader’s Choice Awards. Romantic Times has awarded her Top Picks, a KISS Hero Award and a nomination for Best Erotic Romance of 2007.
Doomsday Brethren Series, Book 2 — Caden & Sydney
Publisher: Pocket Books
Genre: Paranormal/Urban Fantasy Romance
Release Date: September 29, 2009
Barnes and Noble
Barnes and Noble
A Short Interview with Shayla
BS: Why romance?
SB: It’s always been romance for me. My grandmother used to tell me that I was born to be married because all I ever thought about was romance, and I was spinning stories from a very early age. I love dealing with the deepest emotions and writing about people who connect on a level that lasts forever.
BS: Who was your inspiration?
SB: Tough question… I don’t have any one person or thing. Over the years, there have been good books that inspired me and not-so-good books that made me believe it wasn’t impossible to get published. There are friends and family members who gave me a shove or two. Then there were fans to encourage me. Around all that, there’s always been music. A good song that connects with me on an emotional level is a great muse.
BS: My readers are always interested in what authors read - who is/are you autobuys?
BS: It’s not always an author for me, as much as a book or series. My keeper shelf is filled with 1 or 2 titles from a variety of authors. I may have read other works by them, but I didn’t love them all the way I loved the one I kept. Favorite books of all time include: LUCKY’S LADY by Tami Hoag, MINE TO TAKE by Dara Joy, MIDNIGHT AWAKENING by Lara Adrian, WILD CARD by Lora Leigh, VELVET GLOVE by Emma Holly, TRIPLE PLAY by Rhyannon Byrd, ECLIPSE by Stephanie Meyer and THE WINDFLOWER by Laura London.
BS: Where did you get the idea for this book?
SB: When I started piecing together the idea for book one in the Doomsday Brethren series, TEMPT ME WITH DARKNESS, I tried pairing it up with an idea I’d had years ago that I couldn’t finish. Both books were ideas that I just couldn’t nail down. But when I put them together and gave them the backbone of the series, suddenly I had a ton of ideas about how to complete both the first book and SEDUCE ME IN SHADOW. Another author friend helped me plot and listened to me deliberate over varying paths over numerous lunches, and so here we are today!
BS: What is your favorite scene in this book and why?
SB: There are several scenes that make me giggle, make me emotional, make me think about all the directions I could take this series. But I think my favorite scene in this book is the one in which they both finally commit to each other. It’s in a difficult time and in a very unusual location, but in that moment they are finally connected to each other for good, and there’s nothing like the rush of a good HEA for me.
Thanks for having me!
Want to read the first chapter? Click here.
Visit Shayla at her website ...
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Sunday, September 20, 2009
APOE-e4 is one of three common forms of the APOE gene; the others are APOE-e2 and APOE-e3. APOE provides the blueprint for one of the proteins that carries cholesterol in the bloodstream.
Everyone inherits a copy of some form of APOE from each parent. Those who inherit one copy of APOE-e4 have an increased risk of developing Alzheimer’s. Those who inherit two copies have an even higher risk, but not a certainty. Scientists do not yet know how APOE-e4 raises risk. In addition to raising risk, APOE-e4 may tend to make symptoms appear at a younger age than usual.
Experts believe there may be as many as a dozen other Alzheimer risk genes in addition to APOE-e4.
2) Deterministic genes directly cause a disease, guaranteeing that anyone who inherits them will develop the disorder. Scientists have found rare genes that directly cause Alzheimer’s in only a few hundred extended families worldwide.
When Alzheimer’s disease is caused by deterministic genes, it is called “familial Alzheimer’s disease,” and many family members in multiple generations are affected. True familial Alzheimer’s accounts for less than 5 percent of cases.
Genetic tests are available for both APOE-e4 and the rare genes that directly cause Alzheimer’s. However, health professionals do not currently recommend routine genetic testing for Alzheimer’s disease. Testing for APOE-e4 is sometimes included as a part of research studies.
Died of Alzheimer's October 14, 2006
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Mary Travers, 71, of the folk group Peter, Paul & Mary has passed away after a long battle with leukemia. Who doesn't know the song "Puff the Magic Dragon"? Their harmony can never be reproduced.
And Henry Gibson, known for his poems on the 60s series "Laugh-In", has passed away at the age of 73. He recently had a recurring role on "Boston Legal" as a judge. Mommie always knew she was in for a laugh when he would walk out on the "Laugh-In" stage, a flower in his hands, and announce "A Poem, by Henry Gibson".
Monday, September 14, 2009
Patrick Swayze at his finest - so virile, vibrant. He will be missed.
1952 - 2009
And please don't forget the post below and vote every day. Thank you.
This is my little friend Mocha. She and her mommie Jan does a lot of wonderful things for people and animals. They take treats, blankets, food and toys to animals at the shelter. They have MySpace auctions to help pay vet bills, or even to help a family get through a hard time. Earlier this year I thought I was going to have to give up my furbabies because I didn't have the money to feed them - Jan and Mocha showed up with food, toys, litter and money from the MySpace group to help me through.
Why am I telling you this? Because Mocha is in a contest and the prize is a million dollars. Here's the thing - she isn't getting a lot of votes, which I don't understand because she IS the cutest doggie. I know for a fact that they would use a lot of this money to help the animals in their local shelter, to help their friends, etc.
So if you could - it really only takes a moment - go to this site and vote for her. You have to register, but once again it doesn't take long - and it's really for a good cause and for someone that deserves it. You get to vote every day - so please do this for me.
Wednesday, September 09, 2009
Tuesday, September 01, 2009
Remember - not edited!!
“You gonna sit there in the middle of the sidewalk like a damn speedbump all day?”
Nick looked up from where he had been contemplating her skinned knees. Casey stood over him, all 5’8 of her, hands fisted on hips that were a bit fuller than in youth, a frown flittering her face.
“You bit me ..”
“You laughed at me”
“Laughing did not in any way leave a mark. You have your rabbies shots?” Nick prided himself on his reflexes, but even he had to move quicker than expected to avoid the foot that shot out in his direction. Having lost what she had hoped to connect to caused Casey to overbalance again. Instinctively, he pushed to his knees and grabbed her waist to keep her from falling.
“Now now Casey, don’t want to land on that cute little butt again, do you?”
A withering glance, enough to sear his ears off, was her only response, but Nick found it interesting that she hadn’t pulled herself out of his grip. She stood there and stared down at him, hair framing her face, eyes … oh oh, Nick suddenly felt like he’d been caught in the corsairs of a snipers rifle as Casey’s eyes narrowed to slits. Slowly he pulled back, not taking his attention away from her. But slow was not the way to go this time, no a faster pace would have been much better as she reached out and latched on his ear, painfully twisting and pulling on it, tugging him up to stand.
“Shit woman.” Rubbing his ear, Nick took a couple of steps back. So did Jit for that matter. The other man still hovered however, because, you know, life was so exciting in Satchel. Nick noticed that a small crowd had begun to gather. Well, not exactly a crowd, but 10 people was a crowd by Satchel standards. If there were any such thing – standards in Satchel that is. He took special note that the town gossip, Edna Cambridge, was in the front of the group. Great, he’d just made the Satchel grapevine. Not that it mattered since as soon as he finished his business here, he was back to work, but still being the subject of gossip would not have made his mother happy. He could visualize her grave rolling now.
“You think you can just come back here, laughing, kissing and whatever and no one’s going to say anything.” Casey brushed off her shorts and looked around for her flip flop, which had landed in the gutter.
“Kissing?” Jit scratched his head and narrowed his eyes at Nick.
“What? You don’t think anybody wants to kiss me?” Nick felt a little less heat as Casey swung towards Jit.
“Hey now Casey, I, er, of course they’d want to kiss you. You’re very kissable.” Jit, ever conscious of impending work or danger, took two more steps backwards.
“You wanna kiss me Jit?”
It wasn’t often that Nick felt absolute pity for another man, but poor Jit was digging himself deeper and deeper into the shit pond.
“I, um, well … “ Jit’s face was turning a lovely tomato red as Casey towered over him. “I meant that other guys would find ya irresistible, yeah, that’s what I meant.”
“And you don’t?”
Nick was pretty sure that Wile E. Coyote felt much the same way as Jit did, as the Acme safe came down on him. Yeppers, not really a good day to die. He also noted that ol’ Edna had stepped away from the peanut gallery.
“You kissing a lot of men lately Cassandra?”
Casey jerked towards the newcomer in only what Nick could describe as a marionette gone wild, strings yanking arms and legs in staccato motions. Oh yeah, this was going to be a show.
Friday, August 28, 2009
see more Lolcats and funny pictures
see more Lolcats and funny pictures
see more Lolcats and funny pictures
see more Lolcats and funny pictures
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
A great writer died this weekend and you probably heard nothing about it. Maybe because he wasn't Louis L'Amour, but the Western Writers of America voted him Best Western Author of All Time. Still, not one word on the news, not an obituary alert from CNN (yes, I get obituary alerts, so sue me).
Four of his books won the Western Heritage Award from the National Cowboy Hall of Fame. The aforementioned Western Writers of America awarded him their Spur Award 7 times. Four of his books won the Western Heritage Award from the National Cowboy Hall of Fame. In 1987 he received the Barbara McCombs/Lon Tinkle Award for “continuing excellence in Texas letters” from the Texas Institute of Letters. Yes, he was born in Texas and lived here his entire life, and yet not one local news channel commented on his death.
You probably never even knew that one of his books "The Good Old Boys" was made into a TV movie starring Tommy Lee Jones.
His name? Elmer Kelton. While there are more Louis L'Amour books in our store than any other western writer, it's Kelton's books that are rare - when they come in, they go out quickly. He is in high demand.
“His contribution to literature in this state cannot be underestimated,” Judy Alter, former director of the TCU Press, said. “Elmer didn’t write the traditional western; he wrote history."
Kelton had 62 fiction and non-fiction books to his credit.
Four of his books won the Western Heritage Award from the National Cowboy Hall of Fame.
The German Association for the Study of the Western, based in Muenster, Germany, made him an honorary member. The association presents the Elmer Kelton Award for Literary Merit every year.
He earned a journalism degree from the University of Texas at Austin. He was a true Texan, and except for the years he spent overseas in WWII, his whole life was spent here.
Yes, a great writer died last weekend ....
Monday, August 24, 2009
I have a job interview Friday morning! I'm really nervous about it too. This is the first job interview that I've had in almost 12 years. Sooo, after getting my outfit figured out I realized that my hair wouldn't do. It was half-way down my back, straight and unmanageable. What do you do with fine Irish hair except scoop it up in a clip? I can't French braid, if I could it probably wouldn't be a problem. Bebo took me out yesterday and got me a haircut. It's a bob that stops at my shoulders, and there are bangs. It's certainly, well not really different 'cuz I've had it this short before in my life, but it does make a big difference.
So I'm ready for Friday. Maybe. If I can get my stomach to settle down.
What are you looking forward to this week?
Friday, August 21, 2009
Monday, August 17, 2009
Now, it wasn’t that she was overly tall, okay maybe she was; but Jit was about as tall as a toadstool, and skinny to boot. And standing there in that oversized jumpsuit, its pants and sleeves rolled up at least half a block, he looked more like a scarecrow than anything else. Yet, he was Jit, always faithful, always ready to lend a hand, especially if Casey were involved. She didn’t feel guilty worth a wit for using that hound dog loyalty to her advantage, and this month she really needed advantage.
“Jit hon, I really need that car fixed. You know I promised Maisey that trip to Dallas this weekend, and I can’t let her down.” Again. In Maisey’s short life, Casey had let her down in more ways than she wanted to think about.
“Don’t worry, Mac and me’ll get this old piece of junk ready afor Friday evenin’.”
Narrowing her eyes she looked directly into his “If you don’t sleep through it. So help me Jitty, I’ll pull out whatever hair you have left on that scrawny head if you let me down.”
“You know, didn’t your momma ever tell you that you can kill more flies with honey than you can with vinegar.”
“Yeah, and a few other aphorisms too, like you can lead a whore to culture, but you can’t make her think.”
“Aphorisms, little sayings. That’s my word of the week.”
Jit scratched the three hairs on his chin, his face screwed up tight. “Sounds dirty to me.”
“That’s ‘cuz you have a dirty mind Jit.”
“Hmm … say, is that Nick Trevor over there?”
Casey didn’t need him to indicate what ‘there’ was, the hairs on the back of her neck had already alerted her to the fact that her bastard of a neighbor was in the vicinity. Blatantly she turned around, just in time to see Nick slip into the hardware store, the bell on the door jangling from across the street. She hadn’t seen him since Friday, when he’d disappeared quickly over the fence into his own yard. Not that she’d been looking of course, but then again …..
Stepping into the street, she nearly tumbled forward when the sole of her flip-flops curled under her, but she continued to walk doggedly towards the store, ignoring Jit’s call behind her.
“Friday, Jit. Just have the damned thing ready by Friday.” Upon reaching the other side, she hesitated, unsure of herself for the first time in a very long time.
“Shit a duck, it’s only Nick, a man. A member of the forever doomed and avoided. Get a grip.” Still, she wished she had something else on instead of her Daisy Dukes, cropped top and flip-flops. “Excuse me? He’s a moron, a degenerate, a piece of ….”
“Cassandra Sue, you talking to yourself?” Jit’s voice, so close to the middle of her back, startled her, and this time the flimsy flip-flop gave in, tumbling her gracelessly to the cracked sidewalk. Even Jit couldn’t catch her, not that he could have handled her weight if he had, no the lame-brain stood watching helplessly as Casey landed on hands and knees just as Nick stepped out of the store.
“You all right?”
Casey stared at his knees, unwilling to look up.
“You know, at any other time, that wouldn’t be a half bad position to have you in.”
This time Casey lifted her head, the hair that had earlier been pinned up tumbling into her face, obscuring her view. But she didn’t need her eyes as she blindly crouched forward and bit him on the leg, hard.
“Dammit Casey” Nick leapt back, hand clasping his leg just below his knee, hopping on the other leg for just a second before smashing to the walk beside her. There he lay, sprawled on his back and Casey felt a bit of a smirk.
“You know honey, at any other time, that wouldn’t be a half bad position to have you in.” Jit snickered behind her and Casey couldn't help but giggle. Yeah, this could work.
Friday, August 14, 2009
New Upcoming Authors:
(you figure them out - if you can't,just ask - and remember, on some of them, they may have the name right, just not the pronunciation - I'm spelling them like they said them)
Jill Shallis (Hey, once again, at least they're asking for her!!)
There are no stupid questions ......
After being told that we don't have that book, and neither does our other store. Now we've suggested *shudder* our competition, 'cuz we're like that.
"Do you know if they have it?"
(Yeah, I go through their inventory every night after they close ...)
"Do you have their phone number?"
(Yep, number 0 in my speed dial)
Or, we won't take their stuff, and again have suggested that "other" store:
"How much will they give me for it?"
(How much do you want? I'll call ahead and suggest it.)
You're bringing us what?
"I have 30 boxes in the truck, where do you want me to put them?"
(at that other store ....)
"These belonged to my grandmother and she only read them once"
(Every Sunday while driving her car to church)
"I have two bags of magazines, will you take them?"
"No, we only take current magazines, unless they are .... "(names off very few exceptions)
"These are from the 70s, they're vintage."
(I'm going to shoot her ....)
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
I'm actually here to ask you for a few prayers. My brother David had 2 heart attacks yesterday, and is having a cathertization (spelling?) this morning. For those of you that remember, David had quadruple bypass in 2003, so his heart is definitely a big issue.
Okay, and here is the playlist for the current WIP Casey at Bat. Normally I pick only instrumental music, and music that has never had lyrics - like the soundtrack to Lord of the Rings or something. The words tend to distract me. But this time I felt the need for actual music to set the mood.
Oh, and I've written 2,156 words since Monday. WhooHoo!!!
Monday, August 10, 2009
see more Lolcats and funny pictures
see more Lolcats and funny pictures
moar funny pictures
moar funny pictures
Friday, August 07, 2009
BOOGEDY BOOGEDY BOOOOO
You sneezed, didn't you?
No, I was singing.
Sounded like sneezing to me. What song was that.
Well Bud, it's one that I thought up myself.
You can't do that Ernie.
I can't? Why not.
Voices have no imagination.
Nope, Bailey imagines us, and it all comes from her mind.
Can't she imagine that I've imagined a song?
I imagine that she might be able to imagine you imagining a song, but that's really beyond all imagination.
What if I imagined there was no heaven?
You couldn't even if you tried.
Oh, so everything we think, everything we say ... that's Bailey?
And she's even on meds.
What is she imagining now?
She's imagining that you are saying goodbye Ernie
Okay, goodbye Ernie
Monday, August 03, 2009
Anyway, that’s one plot device that can be annoying. Others that I’m not fond of?
Lovers that break up because of a misunderstanding or lack of communication and then get back together, with one seeking revenge and the other not really knowing what is going on, or endlessly apologizing, etc. etc. etc. You know what I mean. You’re sitting there reading it and going “you idiot, if you had just asked him in the first place instead of listening to the ex-girlfriend …..” Why don’t characters talk????
Secret babies. ‘Nuff said
Leaving the group of people to explore the house alone after 15 gadzillion people have been slashed to death …. Yeah, I had to throw that one in.
The ex-girl/boyfriend betrayed me so ALL men/women are the same …..
There’s more, but now it’s your turn. What plot device, whether in movies/TV/books, really annoys you?
Friday, July 31, 2009
For those of you who only stop in every once in a while - these are the things that happen in the bookstore where I work. Yes, it's true stuff.
Up and Coming Authors and Books (I'm not giving hints this time. I have to figure them out, so do you. Some are easy.)
Jill Shulbis (my personal favorite - hey, at least they're looking for her.)
Customers, we so do love them
"How much for the free stuff out on the sidewalk?" ($350 gadzillion)
"I'm looking for a book and I thought you could help me." (No I only work here)
Looking straight at the CD's on the counter "Do you sell CD's?" (Not to you - those are for the free box sale)
"Do you have the new Harry Potter movie yet?" (If we do, they're looking for us ...)
"When will you get in Bed of Roses? (My guess, when it's out and someone buys it - for the uninformed, that'll be October. For the further uninformed, it's Nora Robb, er, Roberts.)
"I'm looking for a book." (Okay, just stand there and stare at me, I'm sure your thoughts will become my thoughts ... which is scary)
Answer phone: "Paperbacks Plus in Mesquite."
"There's no one named Jesse here. This is a bookstore."
"So Jesse isn't there?"
(Yeah, she's over in the "for dummies section".)
"What do you mean I have to pay something? Did you use my store credit?"
"Yes, but store credit only covers half of your purchase. You have to pay the other half plus tax."
"It seems to me that it should cover the entire purchase."
"We have to have money to pay the bills."
"Not my problem."
(no comment, didn't find this one particularly funny - just wanted to share that I didn't hit her.)
And for the finale ...
Woman rushes through the door and up to the counter - points to the interior of the store.
"Can I go look for a book?"
(Only if you have the password)
Monday, July 27, 2009
I’ve been having a variation of the same dream on and off for the last couple of weeks and I think I’ve finally figured it out. But first, the dream. I’m not going to go into details, but I’m in the hallway of my old high school, trying desperately to get my locker open but I can’t. There’s something in there that I really need and I can’t get to it. Now, there could be a couple of explanations for this, but I think I know exactly what it is. I haven’t been able to write for about 3 weeks, and I think my story is in that locker – that or my muse. Either way I’ve been struggling to get to it but it’s beyond my reach right now. I’m not going to go into specifics, but Bailey hasn’t exactly been in a funny mood lately. I’ve got to do something about that because I really think the current WIP, Casey at Bat, is THE one.
I’m sure that you’ve noticed the lack of Wednesday posts. Sorry, but I keep forgetting – really. I’ll try to do better about it, I promise.
So, is there something that you really need to do that is eluding you for some reason or another?
Friday, July 24, 2009
Weren’t we supposed to do something today?
I don’t know, let me check my calendar.
A calendar – it gives you the days of the week, the months, everything. You should try it.
I know that moron, I meant what is that ON your calendar?
Oh, those are the “voices” calendar girls.
Voices don’t have bodies Ern. There’s nothing there but bathing suits – it’s like the invisible woman meets Victoria’s Secret.
Then what’s the point?
The money went to the “voices” orphan’s fund.
First, we’ll disregard the fact that voices don’t have money and ask: What is that?
Voices whose authors ignore them.
Lot of that going around?
Yeah, it’s summer. I happen to know that Jill Shalvis is staring at a blank screen right now.
How do you know that?
‘Cuz her muse told me.
You talk to The Shalvis’ muse?
I talk to all of them – a lot of muses.
I had to ask …. Tell the folks to have a nice weekend Ernie.
Have a nice weekend Ernie!
Monday, July 20, 2009
There are only a few people outside of my family that have seemed to be there my entire life. Walter Cronkite was one of them. I can’t say that I’ve thought about him a lot, probably couldn’t tell you when I last saw him. And yet, his death hit me hard – I actually cried. Uncle Walt was an institution on his own – a constant presence in the backdrop of this nation. Almost every great event in my lifetime has been marked with his presence: JFK’s assassination, as well as Martin Luther King; the moon landing; 9/11 – whether through commentating or reporting, Walter Cronkite was there. Now no more.
Bebo and I talked about it the other day. There is no one in today’s news field that we would trust as much as America trusted him. No one has ever really stepped into his shoes – they were too large to fill. Many polls throughout the years have listed Walter Cronkite as the most trusted person in America. Cronkite has been described as a real gentleman, a bit of a comedian, a humanitarian … as well as a devoted husband and father. I think we could add friend to that list.
We’re going to miss you Uncle Walter …. more than we thought we would.
Friday, July 17, 2009
Boy’s fingers frozen off. (In my day it was warts, but whatever works)
Is that possible? (Why don’t you keep it “up” and we’ll find out.)
Open or die in hell. (Open, open, open, open …)
Where the hell are you? (I didn’t open it?)
You will have watches to go with all your outfits. (I already do – mind you they have a little dirt on them ….)
Replace me tomorrow, okay? (Why? You’re finger’s freeze off?)
Please, don’t tell anyone. (They’re gonna find out – or do spam regenerate?)
Forget about dictionaries, we offer soft in different languages. (Zacht, doux, weich, morbido, macio, suave ….)
Ipod killed a man. (Put a gun against his head, pulled the trigger now he’s dead ...)
Lot’s of women will send him a kiss, so just imagine what you can miss. (A Spaniard’s kiss I may have missed, but an Australian’s lips can give me bliss … take that Dr. Seuss)
Spanish got married 60 times. (Wow, that’s some kiss – was his name Ramon Ortega de Young?)
We hope this information will help you make the right choice. (Yeah, if you kiss a Spaniard, your fingers will freeze off.)
Monday, July 13, 2009
Friday, July 10, 2009
This months new authors list (with interpretations in parenthesis in case you need them). Keep an eye out for these up and coming new writers:
Tami Hong (Hoag)
Linda Lucille Miller
Stephanie Lawrence (Laurens)
Gil Grisham (John)
Herman Hessee (Hesse)
Irritating young man comes up to the counter with a book:
“I think you put this in the wrong place”
I look at the book – it’s about Samurai.
“Where did you find it?”
“Oh, it was in the martial arts section, it should really be in Eastern Philosophy/religions.”
Now mind you, I had only been off cigarettes for two days.
My co-worker, Morgan, with a glance my way. “No, it’s in the right place.”
“It doesn’t belong in martial arts” he said with an ingratiating smile.
I silently hold out my hand, eyes never leaving his face. He hands the book to me and, still not looking away from him, I flip it open to the first page, the flap of the dust cover showing.
“What does that say on top?”
“Out loud please.”
“End of discussion.” I snap the book closed and take it over to the martial arts section. As I walk away I hear him mumble “I still say it’s in the wrong section.”
I was really proud of myself as I kept walking …. hearing Morgan say “I wouldn’t today if I were you dude.”
“Paperbacks Plus in Mesquite”
“I’m on my way to hook up your ATT&T Universal”
“My what? This is a bookstore”
“This isn’t an apartment complex?”
Yes, I live in an apartment complex named Paperbacks Plus ……
“Paperbacks Plus in Mesquite”
“No Corbett, it’s me. You’ve dialed yourself”
Even my own co-workers don’t listen to the person who answers. How can you mistake Mesquite for Lakewood? On a side note, I don’t think I’ve see Corbett with as sheepish of a look on his face when he came around the corner.
“Paperbacks Plus in Mesquite”
“Is this the bookstore?”
No, it’s an apartment complex ….
“Do you pay cash for items?”
“Some, but we’re very selective. What do you have?”
“An entire set of World Book Encyclopedias, 1980s”
“No, I’m sorry, we can’t even sell the ones from the 90s.”
“How about magazines?”
“We never pay cash for magazines.”
“Not even from the 70s? They’re vintage”
I’ll forget she said that ….
I’m sitting on the floor, rearranging books on the bottom shelves of two columns. I have books stacked all around me.
“Do you work here?”
No, I just like to go into stores and sit on the floors to mess with their stuff. What hobbies do you have?
Wednesday, July 08, 2009
Monday, July 06, 2009
I fell off the no-smoking wagon, but I'll climb back on it. I went 3 weeks - which is the longest that I've gone before. I'm aiming for a month this time .... maybe I'll go beyond that, but I'd love to go a month. Maybe that would be enough for me to finally make it. Keep your fingers crossed. I can tell you that the toughest part has been trying to write - I always took smoking breaks as "thinking" breaks, it's when I came up with my best ideas - like the opening line of the current WIP. I've got to find something else to use for those breaks. But, I haven't written a word in the last three weeks. Won't get that charm this Saturday at the Yellow Rose meeting. *sigh*
Reading a great book - Instant Gratification by Jill Shalvis. I am loving it!!!!!
Oh, and before I forget - for those of you interested - Jason Evans is having another Flash Fiction contest on his blog. Here is the information if you are interested in participating.
I'm writing to announce a very special Clarity of Night Contest short fiction contest beginning July 8th! Jaye Wells, the debut author of the cool and successful novel RED-HEADED STEPCHILD, is joining me as co-host! The contest is in her honor.
Compete for a signed copy of RED-HEADED STEPHCHILD. Compete for eternal bragging rights. Compete for cold, hard cash!! (Well, Amazon gift certificates...as good as cash.) $170 dollars in prizes will be awarded.
The contest will open on Wednesday, July 8th and will be open for one week. As with past contests, the limit is 250 words. Any genre or form is welcome so long as it is inspired by the "In Vino Veritas (Truth in Wine)" photo. Rules have been posted here: http://clarityofnight.blogspot.com/2009/07/in-vino-veritas-truth-in-wine-short.html
What are you reading, and how are you liking it so far?
Friday, July 03, 2009
My family has celebrated in different ways over the years: picnics, barbecues, potluck dinners, parades, firework displays. I work tomorrow – so I’ll get home after 7:00, settle down and watch the celebrations on the TV. Not the same as years past, but the reality of today.
In the midst of your day tomorrow, don’t forget to stop and think about the lives that were lost to give us this freedom, to protect our freedom.
Monday, June 29, 2009
David McClure of McKinney: A senior moment ... at 48?
$5.37. That's what the kid behind the counter at Taco Bueno said to me. I dug into my pocket and pulled out some lint and two dimes and something that used to be a Jolly Rancher. Having already handed the kid a five-spot, I started to head back out to the truck to grab some change when the kid with the Emo hairdo said the harshest thing anyone has ever said to me. He said, "It's OK. I'll just give you the senior citizen discount."
I turned to see who he was talking to and then heard the sound of change hitting the counter in front of me. "Only $4.68" he said cheerfully. I stood there stupefied. I am 48, not even 50 yet – a mere child! Senior citizen?
I took my burrito and walked out to the truck wondering what was wrong with Emo. Was he blind? As I sat in the truck, my blood began to boil. Old? Me?
I'll show him, I thought. I opened the door and headed back inside. I strode to the counter, and there he was waiting with a smile.
Before I could say a word, he held up something and jingled it in front of me, like I could be that easily distracted! What am I now? A toddler?
"Dude! Can't get too far without your car keys, eh?" I stared with utter disdain at the keys. I began to rationalize in my mind. "Leaving keys behind hardly makes a man elderly! It could happen to anyone!"
I turned and headed back to the truck. I slipped the key into the ignition, but it wouldn't turn. What now? I checked my keys and tried another. Still nothing. That's when I noticed the purple beads hanging from my rearview mirror. I had no purple beads hanging from my rearview mirror.
Then, a few other objects came into focus. The car seat in the back seat. Happy Meal toys spread all over the floorboard. A partially eaten doughnut on the dashboard.
Faster than you can say ginkgo biloba, I flew out of the alien vehicle. Moments later I was speeding out of the parking lot, relieved to finally be leaving this nightmarish stop in my life. That is when I felt it, deep in the bowels of my stomach: hunger! My stomach growled and churned, and I reached to grab my burrito, only it was nowhere to be found.
I swung the truck around, gathered my courage, and strode back into the restaurant one final time. There Emo stood, draped in youth and black nail polish. All I could think was, "What is the world coming to?" All I could say was, "Did I leave my food and drink in here?" At this point I was ready to ask a Boy Scout to help me back to my vehicle, and then go straight home and apply for Social Security benefits.
Emo had no clue. I walked back out to the truck, and suddenly a young lad came up and tugged on my jeans to get my attention. He was holding up a drink and a bag. His mother explained, "I think you left this in my truck by mistake." I took the food and drink from the little boy and sheepishly apologized.
She offered these kind words: "It's OK. My grandfather does stuff like this all the time."
All of this is to explain how I got a ticket doing 85 in a 40. Yes, I was racing some punk kid in a Toyota Prius. And no, I told the officer, I'm not too old to be driving this fast.
As I walked in the front door, my wife met me halfway down the hall. I handed her a bag of cold food and a $300 speeding ticket. I promptly sat in my rocking chair and covered up my legs with a blanky.
The good news was I had successfully found my way home.
David McClure teaches science and coaches at Faubion Middle School in McKinney. He is also a Teacher Voices volunteer columnist. His e-mail address is email@example.com.
Oh, did I mention that I'm 48? I'm about 18 months away from 50 and AARP has already found me? I am sooooo writing this guy. Have a great week!!
Friday, June 26, 2009
There are days that you’ll remember, maybe not your entire life, but at least for a while. Thursday was one of those days. Not a lot of things can make me feel old, but the death of two icons of my teen years is one of them.
I was never a big fan of Farrah Fawcett. Oh, I didn’t dislike her, just sort of “blah”. I followed her career/life in a periphery fashion, the little boxes next to the big story. But her fight against cancer caught my eye, and my heart. I don’t think there is anyone who hasn’t lost someone to cancer. And I’m not saying that your/my loved ones didn’t fight. But here was this always fragile looking woman saying “no, I’m not going” and giving her all in the fight. I grew to admire her strength and her determination. But, as often is the case, you can’t always beat that particular devil, no matter how strong you are.
And then there was Michael. I’m going to refer to the Michael Jackson of my teen and early 20s, not the bizarre figure he became in his later years. I was a Donny Osmond fanactic! But you couldn’t ignore the other family that dominated the preteen airwaves – the Jackson Five. And there was Michael, soul’s version of Donny, and I might add the better performer. You kind of knew that he was going places. Not that Donny didn’t, but wholesome Pat Booneism will only take you so far. No, Michael became the bigger star, culminating in his iconic “Thriller” album – which I think I might still have somewhere. Michael Jackson will have a place in entertainment history – and should be in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame some day.
But I said three in the title. Ed McMahon didn’t make the big headlines that Farrah and Michael did when he passed less than a week before them. He’s most known for a phrase “Heeeerrrrreeee’s Johnny”, and yet his presence in our lives also made it’s mark. Few remember he was the host of “Star Search”, and that stars such as Sawyer Brown, Britney Spears, Brad Garrett, Drew Carey got their start on the show. Publisher’s Clearing House spokesman, as well as other commercials. Yes, Ed McMahon made his mark too, probably not as big of one as the other two, but a mark nonetheless.
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Friday, June 19, 2009
Anyway, hope that Monday is better. Sheesh, forget Monday, I hope that tomorrow at work is better.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Not much going on here - I'm slowly working on the current WIP titled "Casey at Bat". I've had to delete some stuff and rework some others, but I'm actually pleased with this one so far. Nick (the hero) is giving me a hard time, and I did threaten to "off" him the other night, but Ames talked me out of it. She's right, hard to have a romance without the hero - well, a heterosexual romance. LOL
Oh, and for those of you who are interested - I have 5 cigarettes left - and then I'm done. I have a bag of cherry twizzlers, lifesavers and sunflower seeds to take to work with me. I'm not happy - 'cuz I REALLY don't want to do this, but finances are forcing me to quit.
What habit (be it bad or okay) are you trying to quit?
Monday, June 15, 2009
So yeah, I've succumbed to Twitter, and am now tweeting. See? Over there on the left of the screen? That's Twitter. Big deal, huh? But you know, I'm kinda liking it so far.
Last week was sooooo long! "How long was it Bailey?" Well, since you asked. I guess if I were used to it, or if I worked a less physically demanding job, it wouldn't have been so bad. I worked Monday - Friday 9 - 5. By the time Friday came around I was so sore - my hips and knees were a mess. I spent most of Friday going up and down the step-ladder. I didn't get a thing done at home, and spent most of today (that being Sunday) trying to rest AND catch up on chores. Thankfully, this week will be sort of back to normal.
Saturday Bebo and I went to my cousins house for a going away party. My cousin Michael is in the National Guard (Navy) and is being shipped out on his second tour overseas. We don't know exactly where or when yet, but he leaves for Gulf Port, MS at the end of this month. Please keep him and his family in your prayers.
So, what's the hardest job (either mentally or physically) that you've ever had?
Friday, June 12, 2009
I photoshopped your face. (I hope you put it on Catherine Zeta Jones’ body)
Donnez vous l’opportunite de gagner 50 instamment (Excuse me ? More illegal alien spam)
We’ve found your car. (It was missing?)
My birthday c. details. (Your birthday b boring)
Tomorrow at 6, in bar. (Tonight with a wrench in the library)
Did you see my keys? (Do they go to my car?)
Oh my, forgot keys. (See, that’s how it starts. Next you’ll be misplacing your car.)
When you feel that your virility is already dead, call us. (Penis busters!!!!)
Madonna hired butt scratcher. (You know, I kinda believe this one.)
Would you like to adopt a cheap elegant watch? (No, but for just pennies a day …..)
Waiting for you near the bus stop. (I knew there was a reason I hated bus stops.)
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Monday, June 08, 2009
But on to Texas. My friend Karen wasn’t the tomboy that Barbara had been, but we did spend time outside riding bikes, walking to the pool. Again, no hatred of the heat – we would even play in the attic during the day! And it wasn’t until a few years after we moved that we got central a/c – until then, we had two window units and that was all. But it didn’t bother me – and I’m not just talking about asthmatically – IT DIDN’T BOTHER ME! Today, I can’t stand to be outside in the summer time unless I’m in a pool. I absolutely abhor the temps and my house reflects it – curtains and blinds are closed against the sun; no, against the heat. I have no problem with the sun at all – in fact, in the winter time my curtains are open, letting the light in; it’s only the summer heat that keeps my windows covered.
I don’t know what changed that – all I know is that the next few months are going to be absolutely miserable to me, especially now that asthma has taken over my life. I’m already longing for the temps of late autumn and I mean late autumn. My absolute highest tolerance for heat might be a day of 80, but normally its 75 tops!
Can someone please tell me why I still live in Texas?
Friday, June 05, 2009
What’s she doing?
Looking at the light
Did I mumble?
Don’t do it Bailey, don’t go to the light!!!
Not that kind of light beebrain.
Oh, then what kind of light?
On her DSL box.
You don’t have to spell in front of me.
I wasn’t spelling. They’re initials.
I don’t know. I’ve forgotten. DS Line or something. I’m not sure what they stand for.
Maybe they’re sitting.
You are so not funny.
But I try.
Yeah, you’re really trying.
There’s a red light blinking.
Yeah, that’s what she’s watching.
She’s turning right, duck!!!!
*sigh* That’s the internet light idiot.
Why is it flashing?
How do I know?
You don’t know a lot, do you?
I know you are getting on my last nerve.
Oh, sorry. Let me know when you don’t have any more, then I won’t bother you.
Why don’t you just not bother me now?
What would be the fun of that?
Oh, I don’t know, maybe keep me from strangling you?
Oh don’t, ‘cuz I would be the one seeing the light then.
Ernie, you’ll never see the light, trust me ….
Wednesday, June 03, 2009
So, what are looking forward to today - this week - next week? Please let it be a lot more fun than I'm going to have.
Monday, June 01, 2009
So, besides this being Bailey has gone into poverty day - it's also the birthday of two of my furbabies:
Mr. Seamas - aka Bubba the Red-necked kitty - is 6!