Friday, March 30, 2007
Since we know I am fascinated by anything Shalvis, it is no surprise that I chose to replace today’s spam with a posting by none other than the author herself. Yes folks, today’s guest blogger is Jill Shalvis – everyone give a round of applause. And if you know what’s good for you, you won’t mention the lack of spam. Right?
Sometimes a story idea comes to me like a gift, all wrapped up in a nice little package with a pretty bow. And sometimes I have to pull it out of a hat without the benefit of magic, and usually without the benefit of Novocain. SMART AND SEXY was a gift book. It came to me complete with full characters and a plot that practically wrote itself. From the first scene of Bailey sneaking on board Noah’s private plane and then forcing him to fly her where she needed to go in order to save her life, I knew the truth. This book was going to be a blast to write. No pulling out fingernails to get my pages done. No bribing myself with cookies to sit in the chair and write.
Well, I still ate cookies.
But my point is that this book flew out of me. Noah, so put together on the outside. Great career, hot looks, amazing friends. And yet so tortured on the inside, because of an accident he couldn’t get out of his head.
Bailey. So screwed up on the outside. Bad guys after her. No home, no money, thanks to her thieving dead husband. And yet, so capable on the inside. Capable enough to bring a good man to his knees in the face of love. Who’d have thought it?
Anyway, I have excerpts and more on my website. Stop by and say hi at my blog, would love to have you. Hope you enjoy the book!
Thanks Jill! Okay, there's also a little something extra today: A Contest!!! I have a brand-spanking new copy of Smart and Sexy that I pre-ordered before I won the ARC, so I'm giving it away. What do you do? Just tell me who you think is smart and sexy - they can be read, fictional, etc. If you've already read the book, just say so and answer me anyway. Because the blog is late, you have until 9:00 p.m. central time on Monday, April 2.
Thursday, March 29, 2007
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
So, what’s going on in your neck of the woods?
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
Monday, March 26, 2007
A gallery show casing erotic art is the setting for these three sensual stories. A take charge gallery owner finds the tables turned by a sexy carpenter…A relationship-shy jewelry designer meets her match in a man devoted to her pleasure…A beautiful massage therapist shows a photographer how much fun candid shots can be…
In three scorching tales, Sasha White reveals the art of pure pleasure.
"Within the pages of LUSH, you will discover three sensual tales that will have you laughing, crying and grabbing for a fan to cool off. Ms. White does an excellent job penning these short stories to read like full length novels. The characterization, imagery and intriguing plots will keep you mesmerized until you have finished the last page." -Billie Jo, reviewer for Romance Junkies
"Sasha White’s stories are molten lava all wrapped up in spun silk. Richly emotional and highly passionate, these erotic stories take the reader on a sensuous journey inside the bedroom and out. These sexually explosive novellas will undoubtedly leave you breathless and begging for more. Sasha White continues to have a spot on my keeper shelf." -Cathryn Fox, author of Pleasure Control
Please check out the erotic LUSH GALLERY on Sasha's website
by Sasha White
She was late.
Damn it. She hated being late. To Caitlyn, lateness was just plain rude. People who said they were always late ‘no matter what’ were people who didn’t care about others, even as a common courtesy.
In this case, she was late for two reasons. Okay, really it was one reason. She wasn’t sure being the model for her best friend’s line of erotic body decorations was a good idea. And because she was unsure, she’d let herself get distracted by Ben, therefore making herself late. And testy.
Her energy was super high and she was strung tight. Part of it was frustration from watching Ben and not being able to take care of herself. If she’d been smart enough to carry the silly little pocket rocket she had, maybe she’d have been able to give herself a little quick TLC.
But part of her also felt like something big was about to happen. There was a small burn of anticipation running through her.
She gave herself a mental shake. Oh well, life goes on. Really, she could masturbate anytime, but these photos meant a lot to Mia and she’d already had to postpone once, she wouldn’t do it again.
Cait finished climbing the stairs to Jack Lowell’s studio loft and knocked on the door.
Big place. She wondered if there were other studios like it available in the building. One with a window facing east for the sunshine would be wonderful. She could maybe finally have her own little holistic healing center, she’d only need a tiny space for a bedroom, and the rest of the loft would be workspace.
As she was peeking around to see if there were any other doors or apartments, the one behind her opened.
“It’s about time you got here.” The voice was deep and harsh. As if it were rusty from disuse.
Caitlyn turned back to the studio loft and stared at the man there. He had short, dark blond hair that was mussed and spiked up all over, not in a style, but in a who-gives-a-damn way. He had jeans and a gray t-shirt on and looked somewhat presentable, except for the black wisps drifting through his aura.
The man was messed up. The light base told her he was intelligent. He was physically fit, but the location and movement of the darkness told her he was feeling pretty negative, even depressed.
“Who else would be answering my door? Come in, already. You’re late.”
Charming too, she thought as she walked into the loft. When she was close enough to see past the photographer’s facial hair and scowl, she almost gasped at the beautiful green eyes. Surrounded by long thick eyelashes, his piercing gaze gave the impression he could see everything. And the shadows she saw flickering in them told her he had seen a lot.
Enough to cast the darkness she saw in his soul.
Jack shut the door behind the woman and wondered what the hell Teal had been thinking to send him an overweight model.
Then he heaved a mental sigh and decided it was none of his business. Teal Jamison might be a friend who was kind enough to send him some commercial work to help pay his bills, but she was also her own businesswoman, and a smart one. So he’d just take the pictures and mind his own business.
Besides, this was a one time only thing for him. He photographed objects, not people, what did he know about models?
“There’s a screen over there,” he said, and pointed to the corner of the room next to his drop cloth set up. “You can get undressed there.”
She stood in the middle of the room, gazing around for a minute before she turned to him and held out her hand. “I’m Caitlyn Ellis.”
Her eyes ran over him and he was suddenly aware that he hadn’t shaved for days. A shiver ran down his spine and he wondered what she saw. He’d showered; he was clean.
She had a strange expression on her face and he wondered if she was nervous about posing for him. “You’re safe to get undressed, but if you want to call a friend so you’re not alone with me, I’ll wait.” I’ll be pissed off, but I’ll wait.
“No,” she shook her head. “I’m fine with you. Where do I undress?”
He pointed to the corner again and she turned and went toward it. When she was behind the screen, he listened to the sounds of her clothes coming off and fought the urge to sneak a shot of whiskey. He had a bottle of Jack Daniels in the kitchen area and the craving was strong.
“Do you take a lot of nude portraits?” she asked as she came out from behind the screen.
She hadn’t bothered with a robe and she walked over the center of the drop cloth completely naked and natural. Big, beautiful breasts were the first things he noticed. Then, the fact that they were both pierced with sapphire tipped studs. Shanks? Barbell’s, that’s what they were called, a barbell.
“You didn’t bring a robe?” He tried not to stare. He’d seen naked women before. Plenty of them, in fact.
But Caitlyn was beautiful. She reminded him of those old oil paintings of well-rounded renaissance women stretched out decadently on a chaise lounge. Lush and sensual, with soft creamy skin that was made for a man’s touch. And a completely shaven pussy.
He swallowed and tried not to notice his body’s reaction.
Sunday, March 25, 2007
Brian's Mom had long been suspicious of a relationship between Brian and Jennifer, and this had only made her more curious. Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Brian and Jennifer than met the eye. Reading his mom's thoughts, Brian volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you Jennifer and I are just roommates."
About a week later, Jennifer came to Brian saying, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don't suppose she took it, do you?" Brian said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll send her an e-mail just to be sure. So he sat down and wrote:
Dear Mom:I'm not saying that you "did" take the gravy ladle from the house, I'm not saying that you "did not" take the gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.
Several days later, Brian received an email back from his mother that read:
Dear Son: I'm not saying that you "do" sleep with Jennifer, I'm not saying that you "do not" sleep with Jennifer. But the fact remains that if Jennifer is sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now.
LESSON OF THE DAY - NEVER LIE TO YOUR MOTHER
Saturday, March 24, 2007
1. When supervising cooking, sit just behind the left heel of the cook. You cannot be seen and thereby stand a better chance of being stepped on and then picked up and comforted. It's even funnier when they try to avoid stepping on you and fall into a counter or table.
2. For book readers, get in close under the chin, between eyes and book, unless you can lie across the book itself.
3. For paperwork, lie on the work in the most appropriate manner so as to obscure as much of the work or at least the most important part. Pretend to doze, but every so often reach out and slap the pencil or pen. The worker may try to distract you; ignore it. Remember, the aim is to hamper work.
4. When a human is holding the newspaper in front of him/her, be sure to jump on the back of the paper.
Friday, March 23, 2007
Don’t waste your time, have sex immediately. (Sorry, haven’t added that new dick yet.)
He marital. (The dick? Wow.)
What’s the deal with Travelzoo? (Travelzoo? If you try to tell me that my new dick comes from a zoo, I may go postal.)
This convinced me that some of you might like to see them too. (Well yes, if I’m going to add a new dick, I’d like to pick it out myself.)
Or my roundhead. (Keep you pants on fella.)
Avoid enhancement pills. (Avoid them? Why, are they accosting people on the streets and making them swallow the pills?)
It ruled out involvement of any hostile fire. (Wow, you guys are getting serious about this erectile dysfunction thingy.)
Do you have ED? Forget about it. (Ed? Ed who? How can I forget who I don’t know?)
Not much of a man. (Obviously, that’s why I forgot him.)
Henry assumed his role in September 1995. (Henry assumed the role of Ed?)
Morning Ethiopians due. (Hey buddy, not until the evening ones are done.)
You are taking aspirin, do not drink alcoholic beverages, and stand naked. (Do not drink alcoholic beverages and stand naked; or take aspirin and stand naked, but do not drink alcoholic beverages? I have to be clear on this before Saturday night.)
Thursday, March 22, 2007
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
I'm referring to romances here, not urban fantasy, or even fantasy at all.
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
|Your Inner Pop Princess Is Kelly Clarkson|
"Grew up in a small town
And when the rain would fall down
I'd just stare out my window
Dreaming of what could be"
No doubt about it, you have star quality. Might just take a while to get there.
Monday, March 19, 2007
Sunday, March 18, 2007
We have takin ovur the compooter. If u do not meet r demanz, u wil not see
1. catnip, lots of it
6. tuna. Nun of that watur crap, reel oyl.
18. milk, reel cow stuff
8. comfy bed, fore of them
(eccept fur bubba, the cow-word)
Saturday, March 17, 2007
Friday, March 16, 2007
Plus, with the wooden stand, a hot laptop no longer means a lowered sperm count. (There’s been a problem with that?)
Defiantly coast guard. (Yeah, that’s the Coast Guard, defiant to the end.)
Do you know that? (That’s what my dad always said.)
Don’t know where to buy pills? (Um, my guess would be … the drugstore?)
Never struggle with your jewelry again. (That’s what I took self defense for – I was tired of being beaten up by my jewelry.)
From all of us at Infraspection Institute, Happy Thanksgiving to all of our readers. (Isn’t it a little late for Thanksgiving? I think you’ve been infraspecting too much)
Fork intention final straw. (Oh yeah? Well fork you.)
Your dick will explode. (Not if I don’t pull the pin.)
How do I use Viagra Soft tabs? (Don’t worry about it, your dick will explode anyway.)
Silly Willy? (yep, silly willy. Kaboom!)
Amnesia meteorite. (another victim of the hijacked planetarium. When will it stop?)
Get ready for love in just 15 minutes. (Hugh’s coming over?)
He said he would wait 2 weeks if he were him. (If not Hugh, then who?)
Sorry to be late. (Oh no! Spam!)
Thursday, March 15, 2007
Anyway, I went for a psych evaluation. We all know I’ve been depressed since mom’s death, but it’s more than that. I’ve been depressed for most of my adult life. So that was no surprise. We also know I suffer from a form of agoraphobia, once again no surprise, except for the fact that it’s getting worse. A panic disorder wasn’t a surprise either. What was the surprise was the probable diagnosis of bi-polar. Well, I can’t really say that that was a total surprise either – Bebo and I had suspected it for quite some time, since Howard was bi-polar and Bebo was very acquainted with that condition. I am around the same age Howard was when his condition became evident. Being bi-polar doesn’t really scare me as I know with medication that it can be handled. It’s what happened to Howard later that scares me. He began showing signs of schizophrenia – or rather schizoid affects. It’s in our family, there waiting in the shadows. I try not to think about it. But, the bi-polar does explain the spurts of writing and then none. It explains a lot of things.
Anyhoo, I just wanted everyone to know what was going on. I’ll be okay – as long as I have people to “talk” to so I don’t feel so isolated. Y’all have been great friends. Thank you.
EDIT: I forgot that some people have just begun popping in. Howard was my brother who passed away in 2005. Bebo is his widow.
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
The tree wasn’t that old, only 28 … and as much as I hate that tree I shall miss it very much.
So, do you have a love/hate relationship with something?
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
That's my post, and I'm sticking to it.
Monday, March 12, 2007
This is the transcript of an actual radio conversation of a U.S. Navy ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October, 1995.
Radio conversation released by the Chief of Naval operations, October 10, 1995.
Canadians: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.
Americans: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision.
Canadians: Negative. You will have to divert your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.
Americans: This is the captain of a U.S. Navy ship. I say again, divert your course.
Canadians: No, I say again, you divert your course.
Americans: This is the Aircraft carrier USS Lincoln, the second largest ship in the United States Atlantic fleet. We are accompanied by three destroyers, three cruisers and numerous support vessels. I demand that you change your course 15 degrees North, I say again, one five degrees North, or countermeasures will be undertaken to ensure the safety of this ship.
Canadians: This is a lighthouse. Your turn.
Sunday, March 11, 2007
Saturday, March 10, 2007
Friday, March 09, 2007
Tired of useless exercises for penis enlargement? (I don’t believe it. I’ve tried exercising and not one large penis has come near me.)
I am your friend. (and you are … ?)
Be so candelabra. (I’d rather be a chandelier)
Jeanne – 100% results (Jeanne – you been testing?)
Amazing! They told her she was APPROVED. (THEY DID. OH WOW! Jeanne’s been approved.)
All pain goes, but not forever. (If you’d quit hitting yourself with the hammer it would.)
Another devotee. (That’s Angie, she's my new buddy.)
Hijacker planetarium (Someone hijacked a planetarium? What did they say – take me away or I’ll stick it up Uranus?)
Clearance cream (I don’t even want to know)
This one is what you need on Thursday. (Thursday’s are poor neglected days, but I don’t think spam is going to help them.)
New found sex drive. (Is that next to the hard drive?)
Found himself beset where? (That’s what I was asking.)
At Bailey (Oh, he’s not going to attack me. I’ll put him in the backyard.)
A man with a small dick is like a candle that is almost burned. (Yes, grasshopper)
Say “I can have sex all night long!” (I can have sex all night long.)
“Those kids would be more inclined.” (Well yeah, they’re younger than me.)
Thursday, March 08, 2007
If you've noticed something strange about my blog lately, it's because the cats have taken over. Here's BooBear browsing for pictures (I've caught him on naked cat porn sites). I'm trying to take back control, but it's hard. They keep throwing hair balls at me. Neely Shae is awaiting her turn - she wants to write a book about her lunch entititled "The Cathair in the Rye". Aidan? He's into a site called mycatspace.com. He has lots of friends like Garfield, Morris, Salem, Sneaky Pie, Koko, and Yum Yum. Bubba (at end of bed, out of picture) plays on-line poker, Texas Hold 'em. They never did this when I used the PC, but this laptop gives them easy access. It's been a real problem. At least they haven't figured out how to get it out of it's case ... yet.
Wednesday, March 07, 2007
Tuesday, March 06, 2007
Ballad of the Alamo
(written by P.F. Webster & D. Tiomkin)
In the Southern part of Texas, in the town of San Antone
Is a fortress all in ruin that the weeds have overgrown
You may look in vain for crosses and you'll never see a one
But sometimes between the setting and the rising of the sun
You can hear a ghostly bugle as the men go marching by
You can hear them as they answer to that roll call in the sky
Colonel Travis, Davy Crockett and a hundred eighty more
Captain Dickinson, Jim Bowie, present and accounted for
Back in 1836 Houston said to Travis
Get some volunteers and go, fortify the Alamo
Well the men came from Texas and from old Tennessee
And they joined up with Travis just to fight for the right to be free.
Indian scouts with squirrel guns, men with muzzle loaders
Stood together heel and toe to defend the Alamo
"You may ne'er see your loved ones" Travis told them that day
"Those who want to can leave now, those who fight to the death let 'em stay."
In the sand he drew a line with his army saber
Out of a hundred eighty five not a soldier crossed the line
With his banners a dancin' in the dawn's golden light
Santa Ana came prancin' on a horse that was black as the night
Sent an officer to tell Travis to surrender
Travis answered with a shell and the rousing rebel yell
Santa Ana turned scarlet, "Play Deguello!" he roared
"I will show them no quarter, everyone will be put to the sword!"
One hundred and eighty five holding back five thousand
Five days, six days, eight days, ten, Travis held and held again
Then he sent for replacements for his wounded and lame
But the troops that were coming, never came, never came, never came
Twice he charged and blew recall on the fatal third time
Santa Ana breached the wall and he killed them one and all
Now the bugles are silent and there's rust on each sword
And the small band of soldiers lie asleep in the arms of the Lord
In the Southern part of Texas, near the town of San Antone
Like a statue on his pinto rides a cowboy all alone
And he sees the cattle grazin' where a century before
Santa Ana's guns were blazin' and the cannons used to roar
And his eyes turn sort of misty and his heart begins to glow
And he takes his hat off slowly to the men of Alamo
To the thirteen days of glory at the seige of Alamo
Monday, March 05, 2007
Sunday, March 04, 2007
Lost and Found
As the bus pulled away, I realized I had left my purse under the seat. Later I called the company and was relieved that the driver had found my bag. When I went to pick it up, several off-duty bus drivers surrounded me. One man handed me my pocketbook, two typewritten pages and a box containing the contents of my purse. "We're required to inventory lost wallets and purses," he explained. "I think you'll find everything there." As I started to put my belongings back into the pocketbook, the man continued, "I hope you don't mind if we watch. Even though we all tried, none of us could fit everything into your purse. And we'd like to see just how you do it."
Oh, I forgot! Happy Birthday Dru! I hope you have a wonderful day!!!!
Saturday, March 03, 2007
Swiss accidentally invade Liechtenstein
What began as a routine training exercise almost ended in an embarrassing diplomatic incident after a company of Swiss soldiers got lost at night and marched into neighboring Liechtenstein.
According to Swiss daily Blick, the 170 infantry soldiers wandered just over a mile across an unmarked border into the tiny principality early Thursday before realizing their mistake and turning back.
A spokesman for the Swiss army confirmed the story but said that there were unlikely to be any serious repercussions for the mistaken invasion.
"We've spoken to the authorities in Liechtenstein and it's not a problem," Daniel Reist told The Associated Press.
Officials in Liechtenstein also played down the incident.
Interior ministry spokesman Markus Amman said nobody in Liechtenstein had even noticed the soldiers, who were carrying assault rifles but no ammunition. "It's not like they stormed over here with attack helicopters or something," he said.
Liechtenstein, which has about 34,000 inhabitants and is slightly smaller than Washington DC, doesn't have an army.
Friday, March 02, 2007
Then, why would you want to pay money for something you can get for free? (Oh, so that’s who he is …)
What your cat doesn’t know about credit repair. (BooBear got credit?)
It unlikely (That’s what I thought.)
Your neighbors lost their alarm clock. (Don’t look at me, I’m still looking for the cat’s credit card)
Think I found it! (Stay out of my backyard.)
Linux is now firmly entrenched in the enterprise. (Send him to sick bay.)
Did you order this? (Is it McFadden?)
Smuggler (Hey, they need alarm clocks in Mexico.)
Still down or tired? (Yep, but it’s getting better. Thanks for asking.)
Feel better with us. (No thank you. I’d rather have a daiquiri.)
In Missouri it milch. (Um Joely? What’s milch?)
Raise ejaculation volume. (Where’s the mute button?)
Thursday, March 01, 2007
Bebo and I will be going to the North Texas Irish Festival on Sunday. Cece and Dennie will be going to. That’ll be a lot of fun. I love this festival – Bebo and I have been attending for the last 5 or 6 years. I’ll be taking it slowly though, lots of stops and rests.
What are your plans for the weekend?