Saturday, March 24, 2007

Cats Rules for Hampering

If one of your humans is engaged in some close activity and the other is idle, stay with the busy one. This is called "helping", otherwise known as "hampering." Following are the rules for "hampering":

1. When supervising cooking, sit just behind the left heel of the cook. You cannot be seen and thereby stand a better chance of being stepped on and then picked up and comforted. It's even funnier when they try to avoid stepping on you and fall into a counter or table.

2. For book readers, get in close under the chin, between eyes and book, unless you can lie across the book itself.

3. For paperwork, lie on the work in the most appropriate manner so as to obscure as much of the work or at least the most important part. Pretend to doze, but every so often reach out and slap the pencil or pen. The worker may try to distract you; ignore it. Remember, the aim is to hamper work.

4. When a human is holding the newspaper in front of him/her, be sure to jump on the back of the paper.


christa said...

When human is on computer, be sure to jump on lap. Also try to help type.

Lis said...

lol, I think I'm happy to be petless right now :)

Brandy said...

When human is trying to put up laundry, then by all means climb into the basket ON TOP of the clean clothes so they they must be jerked out from under you!

Gee Bailey, I'm guessing you were tripped today?
Oh, and a small bit of decorating advice: If you have an all black cat, don't buy a black throw rug to place in front of the sink in the kitchen! Hilarity, not to mention falling, ensues.
Have a good saturday!

Bernita said...

I think cats have a union.
Or a secret society.

Dru said...


When human has waxed/shined the floor, be sure to leave your paw prints.

bebo said...

When human is engaged in strange activity called "paying bills" lay ON the checkbook, obscuring it from view entirely, so that human goes into frantic-panic mode exclaiming over & over again "where the *%+#@!! did I put that thing!" Look up at human w/ innocent eyes, blinking slowly. "No mommy, I didn't do anything to the *%+#@!! checkbook"

Tori Lennox said...

This is why I don't have cats. They would drive me insane. *g* That said, I always enjoy them at other people's houses.

Devon Ellington said...

. . .and hang by your claws on the paper, ripping it as gravity pulls you down. Then cry pitifully so you're cuddled.

Susan said...

When human has a chance to sleep be sure to meow as loud and long as possible for no particular reason.

Yes that happened at 5:30 this morning!

catslady said...

Be sure to find your way to every open place possible such as clothes dryers, behind drawers, between doors, and even refrigerators. And don't forget to get to the highest ground such as book shelves in order to pounce and scare your human half to death - don't want to kill them completely since they still need to open those cans for you.

As I wrote this one of my cats sat on my mouse for me lol.

Siobhan said...

When human is planning on having a lie-in 1at the weekend (you'll know this because the alarm doesn't go off) then jump on them and pat their face to wake them up. How dare they forget you need your breakfast!