Wednesday, December 31, 2008

They put that where? .... Again .... and you let them???

Originally published November 28, 2008

Stuffed. And I don’t mean with stuffing either. I’m.going.to.pop. And that won’t be pleasant so everybody ruuuuunnnnn!!!

I had a really great time at Bebo’s – good food, good times, good company. I hope everyone had as good of a Thanksgiving as I did.

So, where’s spam? That’s what I keep asking … where is it? My spam box is filled with boring credit report, *v*i*a*g*r*a messages and bank updating information. Seems the phishers are having more fun than I am. What ever happened to “you can chop a log with your dick”? Or “your neighbors have lost their alarm clock”? Where have the days of penis enlargement and grammatically challenging sentences gone? The economy is sucking the life out of the only real source of amusement I get now days. It’s not fair I tell you, not fair at all!

And what is with this weather??? It snowed in Australia this week. One week before summer. Here it’s November 27 and we’ve barely had cool weather. I think the spammers are responsible. At least that’s my theory and I’m sticking to it.



This is boring …

Shhh, give her a moment; she’ll get into the swing.

About as well as an elephant on a vine.

What?

You heard me.

That’s what I was afraid of.

That you heard me?

No, that I understood what you were saying.

Did you just insult me?

Who? Me? I wouldn’t do that.

That’s what I thought.

At least, not that you would notice.

I think I resemble that remark.

You don’t resemble anything.

Yes I do!

No you don’t! I’ve told you, you’re not real.

I’m not?

No, you’re a figment of her imagination.

That’s scary.

Tell me about it – you would hope she had a better imagination than that.

You did it again.

What?

Insulted me.

No, that was a figment of your imagination.

It was?

Yeah, you’re always imagining that I’m insulting you.

Bud?

What?

Will you tell me when you’re really insulting me?

Of course Ern, that’s what friends are for.

I thought they were to carry you home from the bar.

That too.

Goodnight Bud.

Goodnight Ern.

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Just Wondering, while I wander ...

Originally published April 28, 2008

Main Entry: blog
Pronunciation:
\ˈblȯg, ˈbläg\
Function: noun
Etymology: short for Weblog
Date: 1999
: a Web site that contains an online personal journal with reflections, comments, and often hyperlinks provided by the writer
— blog•ger noun
— blog•ging noun

Yep. That’s what ol’ Webster’s says. A website – yep, got that; online personal journal – um, not lately; reflections, comments and often hyperlinks provided by the writer. Yeah, right. We’re going to break that down further. But before we do so, I’d like to ask one little question. If the word blog is in the dictionary, how come when I type it into word that little squiggly “you spelled this wrong dummy” line appears under it?

Main Entry:
Web site
Function: noun
Date: 1992
: a group of World Wide Web pages usually containing hyperlinks to each other and made available online by an individual, company, educational institution, government, or organization

Hmmm, there we go with those hyperlinks. I’m an individual, and this is a World Wide Web page, so I guess in this case, blog is correct.

Main Entry:
jour•nal
Pronunciation: \ˈjər-nəl\
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English, service book containing the day hours, from Anglo-French jurnal, from jurnal, adjective, daily, from Latin diurnalis, from diurnus of the day, from dies day — more at DEITY
Date: 15th century
1 a: a record of current transactions; especially : a book of original entry in double-entry bookkeeping b: an account of day-to-day events c: a record of experiences, ideas, or reflections kept regularly for private use d: a record of transactions kept by a deliberative or legislative body.

Blah, de blah, de, an account of day-to-day events. Check. A record of experiences, ideas, or reflections kept regularly for private use. Ooookayyy, day-to-day: sort of, I mean Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Record of experiences: What experiences I do have because we know I’m really beyond boring. At this point, the definition seems to be right on the mark.

Main Entry:
re•flec•tion
Pronunciation: \ri-ˈflek-shən\
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English, alteration of reflexion, from Late Latin reflexion-, reflexio act of bending back, from Latin reflectere
Date: 14th century
6: a thought, idea, or opinion formed or a remark made as a result of meditation
7: consideration of some subject matter, idea, or purpose

Meditation? I don’t meditate. And I rarely put any consideration in my thoughts. I say what I mean without a lot of editing (you know, those four letter bad words).

So, we have a group of World Wide Web pages by an individual, where said individual shares their thoughts and feelings, opinions, ideas, etc. in a journal like fashion.

Yep, I’ve done that. Really. If you check back in archives I have expressed feelings. I have shared ideas. I have used hyperlinks. I've done it all!!!

Monday, December 29, 2008

Here We Go Again ... Again

So it's the end of the year, or so I've been told. 2008 will meld seamlessly into 2009 and you won't even notice the moving!! Today, Tuesday and Wednesday, I'm going to re-post my favorite blog posts from this past year. So enjoy the re-run. If you don't like it ... I'll hit myself with a wet noodle, how will that be?

Originally published August 27, 2008

Oh, hi! Look, you showed up again. Isn’t that nice of you. What’s the matter, got nothing else to do? Evidently I don’t either. LOL You see, it’s Summer. All together now, how does Bailey feel about Summer? You’re lagging Toni. Michele, pay attention. One more time. Tori, this way sweetie. Yes, face the monitor. Brandy! Quit snickering. Melissa? Wake up dearie. Once more everyone. How does Bailey feel about Summer? There you go, that was perfect. Almost. Susan? What are you doing? No looking at LOLCats right now. Anyway, yes it’s Summer and my brain has gone on vacation along with the nekkid muses. I’m waiting for Fall. Please, sweet Fall, show your orange leaves, your crisp evenings, your splendid shedding of Summer’s green coat. Cast off the chains of Summer and run free like the wind!!!!! Oh, sorry, got carried away there. Lis honey, you’re late. Find a seat. You’ll have to catch up on your own. BTW, for being late that’ll be 3 laps around the track. Raine? I see you lurking over there. (waving) Okay, as you have noticed, the blog is still a Monday, Wednesday and Friday blog. And Friday’s will still be spam day. Keep down the cheers people. The only thing I ask of you – and this is for you lurkers – just at least say hi once a week. Two letters - H and I – a simple thing but enough to let me know that you are out there.

So it’s Summer, Tuesday was a level red ozone alert, Wednesday a level orange. Bebo and I are not amused. This isn’t good for people with asthma. It’s not really good for people without asthma. We’re all choked up about it. (har, har) But Fall really is just around the corner. School has started, NFL is in pre-season, the new Fall TV season is within eyeshot. Soon the Texas State Fair will start – my last sign of Fall. Last weekend, Bebo and her mother saw geese flying in formation heading south. Yippee!!!!!!!!! Fly babies, fly home to mama!!!!! I said – oh, hi. I forgot you were there for a moment. Sooo, Summer is nearing it’s end (oh please, oh please, oh please), and soon Bailey will be in a much better mood. You will be thankful for this too, just wait and see.

So, without further ado (not that we were ado-ing anyway), here is another of my LOLCatz. Yes Susan, see – good things do come to those who wait.

Until Friday, have fun, be safe, and be good. If you can’t be good, take notes.


funny pictures
moar funny pictures

ACKKKKKKK it cut off the words again. Sheesh!!!

Okay, here's the link

Friday, December 26, 2008

Do You Hear What I Hear?

So I lied. There's one more. This was also my Uncle Bill's favorite. And yes, it's the ol' Bingo again.

I hope you all enjoyed a wonderful Christmas. We return to our regularly scheduled boring blog on Monday, December 29.

Thursday, December 25, 2008

Hallelujah!

It still gives me chills when I hear it. Pay attention to the audience - see, they're standing as everyone is traditionally supposed to do. I do it (not when driving the car of course), but you would be surprised how many do not. I've had the good fortune to actually perform this - and it's no easy task.

Here is what Wikipedia has to say about Handel's Messiah:

The most famous movement is the "Hallelujah" chorus ..."

"In many parts of the world, it is the accepted practice for the audience to stand for this section of the performance. Tradition has it that King George II rose to his feet at this point. As the first notes of the triumphant Hallelujah Chorus rang out, the king rose. Royal protocol has always demanded that whenever the monarch stands, so does everyone in the monarch's presence. Thus, the entire audience stood too, initiating a tradition that has lasted more than two centuries. It is lost to history the exact reason why the King stood at that point, but the most popular explanations include:

1) As was and is the custom, one stands in the presence of royalty as a sign of respect.
2) The Hallelujah chorus clearly places Christ as the King of Kings. In standing, King George II accepts that he too is subject to Lord of Lords.
3) He was so moved by the performance that he rose to his feet.
4) He arrived late to the performance, and the crowd rose when he finally made an appearance.
5) His gout acted up at that precise moment and he rose to relieve the discomfort.
6) After an hour of musical performance, he needed to stretch his legs.

There is a story told (perhaps apocryphally) that Handel's assistant walked in to Handel's room after shouting to him for several minutes with no response. The assistant reportedly found Handel in tears, and when asked what was wrong, Handel held up the score to this movement and said, "I thought I saw the face of God"."


Whatever the reason, people stand. So remember that the next time you hear this. Unless, of course, you're in a car or something ...



Merry Christmas everyone. Hallelujah, the Lord is born.

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

O Holy Night

My countdown of favorite Christmas songs is almost over (aren'tcha glad). This song has always brought me such joy - but especially with the great Josh Groban singing it. Enjoy!

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

The Little Drummer Boy/Peace on Earth

I watched the Bing Crosby Christmas Specials every year, and 1977 was no exception - especially with the appearance of David Bowie. My word, what possibly could the two of them do? What they did turned out to become Christmas music history that is still played today. I loved this then, and I love it now.

Monday, December 22, 2008

Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas

This is my favorite scene from the movie Meet Me in St. Louis and also my favorite version of the song. No one sings this like Judy Garland.

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Sleigh Ride

Without the words. I prefer it this way. Don't get me wrong, they're lovely words, but there's something about LeRoy Anderson's great music that makes this song complete without them. Don't pay any attention to the pictures, just close your eyes and listen to the sleigh riding across the snow, the horses' legs lifting high in the drifts, wind whipping the scarves around the riders heads. I love listening to this.

Saturday, December 20, 2008

I'm such a Red-Neck

No, I'm not referring to Bubba the red-necked kitty.

I just love this song. No, realy, I do. It's such a catchy tune, and what better way to spend a Saturday than to hum this one over and over and over until you're ready to run something over with a reindeer. Enjoy!!!

Friday, December 19, 2008

The Christmas Guest

This is the version that I heard originally, but I've only been able to find it recorded by Reba McIntire (I know, I've probably spelled it wrong)and Andy Griffith. But at least Youtube had this - forget the pictures and just listen to the words, it's a wonderful story. I know, it's not technically a "song" but bear with me, okay?

This is by Grandpa Jones of Hee Haw fame. For those of you who remember him, enjoy the memories. For those of you who don't - well, you missed something.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

In the Bleak Midwinter

This was my mother's favorite Christmas Carol, mostly for the second verse. I always think about her every time I hear it.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Where are you Christmas

As most of you know, my mother passed away only a few months before Christmas. When the holidays came around I wasn't sure what I would do. I didn't feel like celebrating, and yet I made an effort. But it wasn't the same. I began hearing this song on the radio and it would make me cry - it described most of what I was feeling. I couldn't find Christmas anywhere, but most of all, I couldn't find it in my heart. I can remember driving home from work and this song would play and I would cry. Eventually, I found a bit of Christmas and this song has become one of my favorites.


Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Kermie and Piggy in a Pear Tree

I don't like very many versions of 12 Days of Christmas - sorry, it just gets nauseating. But this is the exception 'cuz it's such damn fun!! Enjoy this rendition from the 1979 TV Christmas special A Christmas Together with John Denver and the Muppets.

Monday, December 15, 2008

Mother Nature has PMS!!!!!

I’m not kidding. Sunday we were at 80 degrees – well, mostly. Here it is Sunday evening at 11:07 and it’s 45 with a wind chill of 39. Which, by the way, is supposed to be Monday’s high. Yeah, can we say hormonal shift? Back into the 60s by the end of the week, and then we’ll probably start all over again. This, dear readers, is why a lot of people around here are sick – up and down, up and down, winds from this direction and then from the other. It’s a mess. We could actually have sleet Tuesday morning – oh goody, goody.

Anways, as you’ve probably heard, there’s this thing called Christmas that is coming up. I know, I know – where have I been? Last year I did recipes, this year I’m going to treat you with my favorite Christmas songs.

This next one was written by a man named Mark Lowry (along with someone named Buddy Greene). He’s a member of the Gaither gospel group and when I heard the song the first time I couldn’t believe that he wrote it. Why? Think of Goober as writing this song and you’ll get the idea. Mark is the comedian of the group and I would have never thought that he was capable of such beauty. Here is his rendition as I believe that it is the best version of this song. Enjoy.



Friday, December 12, 2008

Um, yeah?

It's Friday huh? Yes Bailey, that's what usually follows Thursday, unless you got drunk on Wednesday night, then it's Saturday. Another Spamless Friday. What a calamity this is.

Spamless, Bailey's blog is spamless
trying to receive some
of that spam that we love.
Spamless, whoa-a-whoa, spamless
whoa-a-whoa, spamless
please send what we write of.

Viagra, comes from across the Niagra,
promises that your dick is
something to be proud of
Spamless, whoa-a-whoa, spamless
whoa-a-whoa, spamless
for your beloved.

Alarm clocks, ticking giant alarm clocks
taunted me daily
from the apartment above.
Spamless, whoa-a-whoa, spamless
whoa-a-whoa spamless
you know what I speak of.


I actually have 4 of them, but I'm waiting until I get at least 8. Until then, I'll try to entertain you in other ways.

funny pictures
moar funny pictures

funny pictures
moar funny pictures

funny pictures
moar funny pictures


Hope everyone has a great weekend!!!!

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Just Imagine

Okay, imagine this is a blog post. In fact, while we're at it, imagine this is the best damn blog post you've ever read. Why? 'Cuz I'm queen and I said so ... besides, I have nothing to blog about, that's why. So, this is the greatest blog post you've ever seen, got it? While we're at it, let's add some imaginary pictures of sexy guys. Yeah, that's it - lots of sexy guys: a little Jackman, a few Clooney, some Bill Pullman (hey, I think he's sexy), a couple of Blooms - you get the idea, right? Sprinkle in a joke sent by Susan/Christa/Bebo/whoever - real hysterical/groaner joke. A fantastic review of a book I haven't read yet, and presto chango, a blog post. See, that was easy, wasn't it? What do you mean you don't see anything? You have to use your imagination. You got one of those, don't you? Do I have to do all of the work around here? Okay, okay, .... let's see ... I went to the Yellow Rose Christmas party Saturday night! Had a great time. Bebo and I actually got there without getting lost. That's a first so far. Well, we did get lost going home, but hey, it was dark!!! We just refer to it as adventures in driving. and that's it! Yeppers, that's the full story of my weekend. Don't you wish you'd stuck with the imaginary post??

funny pictures
moar funny pictures


funny pictures
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funny pictures
moar funny pictures

Sunday, December 07, 2008

A Day in Infamy

In memory of those 2,402 killed. And in honor of those 1,282 injured.


USS Arizona Memorial today

And again during the attack



More pictures of the attack



















Friday, December 05, 2008

The Bud and Ernie Show

JoAnn said that this is a fun blog to read.

JoAnn who?

Ross

Well, it's obvious she hasn't been here recently.

Yeah, that's true. Even Bailey doesn't come here.

Yes she does.

She does?

Who do you think posts the stuff, Amelia Earhart?

Might as well, she comes, posts and then disappears. Bruwhahahahahahahaha

You're weird

Me? Only on days that end in "y"

That's ... oh, I have to agree with that one.

I'm finished

With what?

My Christmas list

You've finished your shopping?

No, my list for Santa

You made a list for Santa?

That's what I said. Having trouble reading lately?

I just find it strange that a voice would make a list for Santa.

And you don't find it strange that a voice would shop for Christmas presents?

Smart ass

Awww, that's sweet

What?

That was my mother's nickname for me

Why do I believe that?

'Cuz I just told you?

Just what is on this list of yours?

I want a Bratz Doll

That might be a problem now

Why?

Seems Mattel is being a "bratz" about it.

Was that a pun?

Clever boy. What else?

Peace on earth

Now isn't that ... oh, yeah. Okay. Peace on earth would be nice.

Wait, there was a blob of mayo on the list. That actually says "a piece of earth".

For crying out loud, why would you want a piece of earth? And how do you get a piece.

How you get a piece is between you and whatever girl you're with ....

Ernie!!!

That's my name, don't wear it out.

Believe me, I won't. Say goodnight Ernie.

Goodnight Ernie

Wednesday, December 03, 2008

Tis the Season to be sneezing

So it begins, or maybe it’s already begun for you … the Christmas Season. I’m so not ready. I’m hoping to get the tree up tomorrow, but I have to clean the closet first. I need to get to the Christmas decorations for one thing. Then there’s the fan to be stored for the winter and a place to put the pedestal table that’s where I’m going to put the tree. Fortunately, my gift buying list is rather short and I have that done already. Cards? Yeah, got those too – just need to do a little thing like address and mail them. LOL I don’t know if I’ll do any baking this year, for two reasons. First, I don’t trust this oven – I can’t seem to get a hang of its cooking time; secondly, I really can’t afford all of the ingredients. I might have a go at some fudge, we’ll see.

Still fighting this sinus thing. It doesn’t help that the winds can’t decide which way to blow, or that the temperature has been a bit schizophrenic. Add that to the tons of boxes of books people have been bringing in from who know where they’ve been stored, and that adds up to one helluva sinus cocktail.

Bebo sent me this great little recipe the other day, so in closing I’ll share it with you. Have fun!!!

*Quote:*
The world's most dangerous cake recipe

*5 MINUTE CHOCOLATE MUG CAKE*

4 tablespoons flour
4 tablespoons sugar
2 tablespoons cocoa
1 egg
3 tablespoons milk
3 tablespoons oil
3 tablespoons chocolate chips (optional)
a small splash of vanilla extract

1 large coffee mug

Add dry ingredients to mug, and mix well. Add the egg and mix thoroughly. Pour in the milk and oil and mix well. Add the chocolate chips (if using)and vanilla extract, and mix again. Put your mug in the microwave and cook for 3 minutes at 1000 watts (high). The cake will rise over the top of the mug, but don't be alarmed! Allow to cool a little, and tip out onto a plate if desired. EAT! (this can serve 2 if you want to feel slightly more virtuous). And why is this the most dangerous cake recipe in the world? Because now we are all only 5 minutes away from chocolate cake at any time of the day or night!

Monday, December 01, 2008

It's That P.S. That Will Get You Every Time

Okay, I'm struggling with a sinus infection/cold, so am not up to the usual jovial, er, sunny, um, okay - so maybe this isn't that different than other posts lately. Sue me.


To my darling husband,


Before you return from your overseas trip I just want to let you know about the small accident I had with the pick up truck when I turned into the driveway. Fortunately not too bad and I really didn't get hurt, so please don't worry too much about me. I was coming home from Sylvia Park, and when I turned into the driveway I accidentally pushed down on the accelerator instead of the brake. The garage door is slightly bent but the pick up fortunately came to a halt when it bumped into your car. I am really sorry, but I know with your kind-hearted personality you will forgive me. You know how much I love you and care for you my sweetheart. I am enclosing a picture for you.
I cannot wait to hold you in my arms again.



Your loving wife.

XX





P.S. Your girlfriend called.

Friday, November 28, 2008

They Put That Where .... ?

Stuffed. And I don’t mean with stuffing either. I’m.going.to.pop. And that won’t be pleasant so everybody ruuuuunnnnn!!!

I had a really great time at Bebo’s – good food, good times, good company. I hope everyone had as good of a Thanksgiving as I did.

So, where’s spam? That’s what I keep asking … where is it? My spam box is filled with boring credit report, *v*i*a*g*r*a messages and bank updating information. Seems the phishers are having more fun than I am. What ever happened to “you can chop a log with your dick”? Or “your neighbors have lost their alarm clock”? Where have the days of penis enlargement and grammatically challenging sentences gone? The economy is sucking the life out of the only real source of amusement I get now days. It’s not fair I tell you, not fair at all!

And what is with this weather??? It snowed in Australia this week. One week before summer. Here it’s November 27 and we’ve barely had cool weather. I think the spammers are responsible. At least that’s my theory and I’m sticking to it.



This is boring …

Shhh, give her a moment; she’ll get into the swing.

About as well as an elephant on a vine.

What?

You heard me.

That’s what I was afraid of.

That you heard me?

No, that I understood what you were saying.

Did you just insult me?

Who? Me? I wouldn’t do that.

That’s what I thought.

At least, not that you would notice.

I think I resemble that remark.

You don’t resemble anything.

Yes I do!

No you don’t! I’ve told you, you’re not real.

I’m not?

No, you’re a figment of her imagination.

That’s scary.

Tell me about it – you would hope she had a better imagination than that.

You did it again.

What?

Insulted me.

No, that was a figment of your imagination.

It was?

Yeah, you’re always imagining that I’m insulting you.

Bud?

What?

Will you tell me when you’re really insulting me?

Of course Ern, that’s what friends are for.

I thought they were to carry you home from the bar.

That too.

Goodnight Bud.

Goodnight Ern.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving


The year has turned its circle,
The seasons come and go.
The harvest all is gathered in
And chilly north winds blow.
Orchards have shared their treasures,
The fields, their yellow grain,
So open wide the doorway~
Thanksgiving comes again!


Author Unknown


>


If you are traveling this Thanksgiving, please be careful. Enjoy your day with your family, I know I will. Peace, Grace and Love to all of you.

Happy Thanksgiving

Monday, November 24, 2008

It's About Time

I don't understand why it took them this long to figure this out. I mean, yeah Clooney can do it for me, but twice? Damon? Uh uh (sorry Jill). Pitt's a looker. Bt I ask you, what ... what was so hard about picking this guy? I read a list of the best looking men in hollywood and he wasn't even on it? Are they insane? Have they all lost their marbles? Finally, yes finally, People Magazine told the entire world what I've known all along.

HUGH JACKMAN IS THE SEXIEST MAN ALIVE




I say again, it's about time ...

Friday, November 21, 2008

Happy Birthday Bebo

How do you tell a friend “thank you”? How do you let them know that their presence in your life means more than they can ever know? And when their birthday comes around, what can you give them when you have nothing to really give? I’ll tell you how …


Happy Birthday Beverly. I celebrate the day you were brought into this world. You are my rock, the support of much of who I am. Nothing anyone achieves in their lives is done in a vacuum, just as nothing that I myself achieve is done without the many things you bring to me. You nurture my soul, you ground me, and you bring me out of the darkness in which I often immerse myself. For that alone I call you friend. But you do more than that. You make me face realities when they are often too hard for me to endure. You make me laugh. You make me cry. I’m happy to call you my friend, but I’m even more proud to be able to call you sister.

I love you …..

When I first heard this song, I thought it could only refer to romantic love. But then I listened more closely and realized that it can also mean the kind of love that we share.

Happy Birthday ...



Oh, and Happy Birthday to you too JJ!!

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Things have a habit of doing that ...



There are days when I feel exactly like that little kitten above. The world is going by while I'm sleeping. Or at least the years. I was driving home from work the other day when I decided to take a different route, one that I don't use that often. It takes me down a really messed up street named Town East Blvd. The Town East is because the mall is there. It's been under construction forever. In fact, when it started, Nixon was in office. Okay, I exaggerate, but it's been a while, with no real end in site. When it's done, it will actually be the best connection between Bebo and me. But I digress. Nixon does have something to do with this though. I'm sitting at this light, cars lined up beside me, strip shops on one side, the mall on the other and I remembered. Yep, my mind did the ol' "I remember when" game. When I was a child we'd go to the lake and pass by this area - it was nothing but farm land then. In fact, one of my favorite restaurants, The Saltgrass Steakhouse, sits where the old farm house once stood. Or at least near it - I don't remember exactly what the historical marker there says. But now it's a hub of retail activity. Things change - so much has changed. Don't know what this post is about, just a rambling thought.

Another rambling thought:

When I go to work, or to Bebo's apartment, I drive down this street and pass this little church that sits a little away from the road. It's not a big building, but it houses a lot of memories. Two of my father's brothers and one of his sisters went to this church. A couple of cousins still do. But that's not the important part. You see, I smile and say "hi dad" every time I pass it. Why? My dad help build that church. It's a visible sign (other than his children and grandchildren) that he was once here.

Nothing really important, just a couple of rambling thoughts and a cute kitten. What else do you want on a Wednesday?

Monday, November 17, 2008

Some Words of Wisdom

A lecturer, when explaining stress management to an audience, raised a glass of water and asked, "How heavy is this glass of water?"
Answers called out ranged from 8oz. To 20oz.
The lecturer replied, "The absolute weight doesn't matter. It depends on how long you try to hold it. If I hold it for a minute, that's not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my right arm. If I hold it for a day, you'll have to call an ambulance. In each case it's the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes." He continued, "And that's the way it is with stress management. If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, as the burden becomes increasingly heavy, we won't be able to carry on. As with the glass of water, you have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again. When we're refreshed, we can carry on with the burden.. So, before you return home tonight, put the burden of work/life down. Don't carry it home. You can pick it up tomorrow. Whatever burdens you're carrying now, let them down for a moment if you can. Relax; pick them up later after you've rested. Life is short. Enjoy!"

And then he shared some ways of dealing with the burdens of life:
1 Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue
2 Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
3 Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.
4 Drive carefully. It's not only cars that can be recalled by their Maker.
5 If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
6 If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it..
7 It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
8 Never buy a car you can't push.
9 Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you won't have a leg to stand on.
10 Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
11 Since it's the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep late.
12 The second mouse gets the cheese.
13 When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
14 Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.
15 You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person.
16 Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.
17 We could learn a lot from crayons. Some are sharp, some are pretty and some are dull. Some have weird names and all are different colors, but they all have to live in the same box.
18 A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Happy Birthday Mommie

I miss you every day, but even more so today - your birthday. I love you.


November 15, 1928 - October 14, 2006

Friday, November 14, 2008

Spamless, nothing more than, Spamless ...

Yepper, no spam today. Sorry. I looked through my spam folders and nothing, and I mean nothing, struck my fancy. And believe me, it's been so long since my fancy has been struck that I would have noticed. So I dug through some really old (okay, 2005/06) blog posts and found a couple of those silly college essay posts. Here you are, a sort of rerun since I took a couple of posts, picked the best and put them together. Have a great weekend!!

This is from Non Campus Mentis compiled by Professor Anders Henricksson, Workman Publishing, 2001. These are snippets from Essays by College students. Any misspellings are the fault of the students, not me or spell check.

Balboa was first to lay down his eyes on the Rocky Mountains. (I've lost more eyes that way.) Dick Cavett was the first European to visit Newfoundland. Cabot discovered the Netherlands and codfish. Captain Cook found many continents while deliberately on exhibition and located the perfect navel spot near Africa’s bottom.

Francis Drake was permitted by Queen Elizabeth to sail the seas and find illegal things to do with the Spanish. (Oooh, Antonio Banderas?)

This was the beginning of Empire when Europeans felt the need to reach out and smack someone. (So that’s when it began.)

Charles V spent most of his reign aging. (I hate when they do that.)

Henry VIII divorced his original wife, who had become old and impregnable. Elizabeth I was eventually the daughter of Henry the Ate. Mother to Elizabeth was Ann Beau Lynne, wife of the moment to Henry VIII. (Got that?)

Escaped peseants could be free if they went to a city and hid there for a hundred years and a day. (Really, you think that would work?)

Witch hunts erupted in countries such as Germany, England, Scotland and Salem. (Didn’t Massachusetts invade Salem?) The victim profile was older post-marsupial women unable to bare children. (Which is why they keep them in those little pouches.) Those arrested were torchured until they told a story. The worst of this could be the rack or burning with hot pokers. Some unfortunate women were made to endure the public duckling stool.

Philip II later annoyed the Dutch by speaking to them in Spanish, a language he did not understand. (Those Dutch are soo easily annoyed.)

If the Spanish could gain the Netherlands they would have a stronghold throughout northern Europe which would include their posetions in Italy, Burgangy, central Europe, and India thus serrounding France. (Does Salem know about this?)

The German Emperor’s lower passage was blocked by the French.

There was Upper Egypt and Lower Egypt. Lower Egypt was actually farther up than Upper Egypt, which was, of course, lower down than the upper part. (obviously a future Government tax form writer.)

Babylon was similar to Egypt because of the differences they had apart from each other. Egypt, for example, had only Egyptians, but Babylon had Summarians, Acadians, and Canadians, to name just a few. (Ah, so this is what they meant by Upper Egypt)


The history of the Jewish people begins with Abraham, Issac, and their twelve children. Judyism was the first monolithic religion. It had one big God named “Yahoo.” (Does Google know this?) Old Testament profits include Moses, Amy, and Confucius, who believed in Fidel Piety. One of the only reasons Confucius was born was because of a Chinese tradition. (Hmmm, I think they have that particular tradition in other cultures.)


Plato invented reality. He was teacher to Harris Tottle, author of The Republicans. Lust was a must for the Epicureans. Others were the Vegetarians and the Synthetics, who said, “If you can’t play with it, why bother?” (Sounds like a good philosophy to me.)

Roman upperclassmen demanded to be known as Patricia. Senators wore purple tubas as a sign of respect. Around the 120s B.C. the Gretzky brothers failed to stop these and other injustices. (Wayne Gretzky really tried, honest.)


Augustus (a.k.a. Octogenarian) founded the Roman Catholic Empire and punished those involved in sibilancy and adultry. … Augustus did have to leave the Empire due to his death. (Ah heck ,they always use that excuse)


Christianity finally became official after the Emperor Constantine’s famous Decree of Consternation. Constantine became a Christian himself after being persued by a neon cross on the battlefield. The entire city of Constantinople rose up with a tremendous ejaculation every time the emperor came.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

It's Only Wednesday ...

You know, a blank page looks awfully lonely when you’re sitting here staring at it hoping that magical words would appear on the screen. But guess what? No matter how long you stare, nothing happens. Soooo, you have to put your fingers on the keyboard and just start typing, you know? And even then, magic doesn’t always flow from the fingertips to the screen. You gotta think. What if I’m too tired to think?

Waiting for the next cold front to appear. It’s supposed to hit this weekend. I say cold front ‘cuz that’s what they call it. I call it a cool front. Not supposed to get out of the 60s. But hey, it beats the 80s.

Bought Jill’s latest book “To All a Good Night”, and Loreth’s latest one “Manhunter”. Now I just have to read them. LOL I don’t know why I’m still in this reading funk. Or should I say “not reading” funk. There has never been a time in my life when I wasn’t reading, but since mom died I haven’t really been able to sit down and read a book. Go figure. I suddenly have time to read at my leisure, but my leisure doesn’t want to cooperate.

Hmmmm, what other inane dribble can I send your way? Um, not a dang thing, darnit!!

Okay, so I’ve said what I’m supposed to be reading. What about you? What’s on the TBR pile right now?

Oh, and no, I didn’t make this one – but I thought it was really funny.







Monday, November 10, 2008

Veterans Day

World War I – known at the time as “The Great War” - officially ended when the Treaty of Versailles was signed on June 28, 1919, in the Palace of Versailles outside the town of Versailles, France. However, fighting ceased seven months earlier when an armistice, or temporary cessation of hostilities, between the Allied nations and Germany went into effect on the eleventh hour of the eleventh day of the eleventh month. For that reason, November 11, 1918, is generally regarded as the end of “the war to end all wars.”

In November 1919, President [Woodrow] Wilson proclaimed November 11 as the first commemoration of Armistice Day with the following words: "To us in America, the reflections of Armistice Day will be filled with solemn pride in the heroism of those
who died in the country’s service and with gratitude for the victory, both because of the thing from which it has freed us and because of the opportunity it has given America to show her sympathy with peace and justice in the councils of the nations…"

The original concept for the celebration was for a day observed with parades and public meetings and a brief suspension of business beginning at 11 a.m.
The United States Congress officially recognized the end of World War I when it passed a concurrent resolution on June 4, 1926, with these words:

Whereas the 11th of November 1918, marked the cessation of the most destructive, sanguinary, and far reaching war in human annals and the resumption by the people of the United States of peaceful relations with other nations, which we hope may never again be severed, and

Whereas it is fitting that the recurring anniversary of this date should be commemorated with thanksgiving and prayer and exercises designed to perpetuate peace through good will and mutual understanding between nations; and

Whereas the legislatures of twenty-seven of our States have already declared November 11 to be a legal holiday: Therefore be it Resolved by the Senate (the House of Representatives concurring), that the President of the United States is requested to issue a proclamation calling upon the officials to display the flag of the United States on all Government buildings on November 11 and inviting the people of the United States to observe the day in schools and churches, or other suitable places, with appropriate ceremonies of friendly relations with all other peoples.

An Act (52 Stat. 351; 5 U. S. Code, Sec. 87a) approved May 13, 1938, made the 11th of November in each year a legal holiday - - a day to be dedicated to the cause of world peace and to be thereafter celebrated and known as "Armistice Day." Armistice Day was primarily a day set aside to honor veterans of World War I, but in 1954, after World War II had required the greatest mobilization of soldiers, sailors, Marines and airmen in the Nation’s history; after American forces had fought aggression in Korea, the 83rd Congress, at the urging of the veterans service organizations, amended the Act of 1938 by striking out the word "Armistice" and inserting in its place the word "Veterans." With the approval of this legislation (Public Law 380) on June 1, 1954, November 11th became a day to honor American veterans of all wars.

From United States Department of Veteran's Affairs website

So this Veteran's Day, I am going to list those in my family who have served in our Nation's wars since WWI.

WWI

John E. O'Connell (maternal grandfather)
Frank O'Connell
Glenn Trotter

WWII

Harry E. Mardis (father)
Kenneth Mardis
Richard Mardis
James H. Mardis
Walter Watson
Mario Carli
Charles Allen
Glenn Trotter
Golda Trotter O'Connell
Thomas E. O'Connell
Dorothy Rhodes O'Connell
William H. Proudfit

Korea

Paul E. Erickson
Bruce Beals

Vietnam

Kenneth Alan Mardis
Terry Mardis
Rick Mardis
Larry Allen

Operation Iraqi Freedom (Gulf War II)

Michael Fredericks
Kelly O'Connell
Vince Simmons

Thank you

Friday, November 07, 2008

Turkey Spam

Don’t turn your marriage into disaster, use male enhancers. (Oh, see, that’s what I’ve been doing wrong.)
Just some helpful information about Gain Pro. (Honey, I checked the scales. I’m the gain pro.)
What time is okay for you? (Um, Twelfth of Never work for you?)
Dancer fired from Broadway musical because her breasts are too big. (That’s a new one. Actress gets fired ‘cuz her boobs are TOO big?)
We offer only EFFECTIVE ways of male improvement. (Unlike the other guys who only offer ineffective, oh sorry INEFFECTIVE ways?)
If you need a recipe no need to go to a doctor. (I don’t even want to know what you’ve been cooking.)
How do I get out of debt? (You’re asking me?)

Wednesday, November 05, 2008

Snicker Wednesday


I got the following from Bebo - have a mid-week giggle


GAMES FOR WHEN WE ARE OLDER

1. Sag, you're It.

2. Hide and go pee.

3. 20 questions shouted into your good ear.

4. Kick the bucket

5. Red Rover, Red Rover, the nurse says Bend Over.

6. Musical recliners.

7. Simon says something incoherent.

8. Pin the Toupee on the bald guy


SIGNS OF MENOPAUSE

1. You sell your home heating system at a yard sale.

2. You have to write post-it notes with your kids' names on them.

3. You change your underwear after a sneeze.


OLD IS WHEN:

1. Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.

2. You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along

3. Getting a little action means I don't need fiber today.

4. Getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot.

5. An all-nighter means not getting up to pee!


Ponderisms:

I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out?'

Who was the first person to say, 'See that chicken there? I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its butt.'

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if he's going to look up there anyway?

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

Monday, November 03, 2008

Enough is enough, is enough, is enough

Bebo sent me something the other day about how wealthy people aren’t always happy, you know, that money can’t buy you happiness sort of thing. It got me thinking about how when I was a child, back in the olden days, after I’d walked ten miles to school in six foot snow uphill both ways, that I wanted to be filthy rich. I wanted to marry (insert movie/TV/singer crush of the month) and live in a Vanderbilt-type mansion and have tons of kids. Unfortunately, since the love of my life, Hugh, is happily married, I’ve had to modify that dream. No, really, as I’ve grown up I’ve discovered that what I want in life has changed. I just want enough. You know, comfort vs. wealth. What do I want?

- enough money to pay my bills
- enough money for rent on a two bedroom apartment (notice no Vanderbilt here?)
- enough money for a flat-screen TV (okay, there’s still some “wealth” ideas LOL)
- enough money for a new car
- enough money to give to a charity or two
- enough money for groceries
- if I want to buy a nice gift for someone for their birthday or Christmas, I want enough money to do so
- I don’t ever, ever want to have to put a furbaby to sleep because I can’t afford the treatment (my poor Devlin)
- I want good health care
- I want health care period
- Dental insurance
- Full coverage for car insurance
- I want to be able to buy books when I want to
- Hmmm, I don’t want money to ever be the focus of any such list again
- If the car needs work, I want to be able to pay for it
- I don’t want to use credit cards
- Digital TV?
- A PC with all the bells and whistles
- TIVO
- A laptop with all the bells and whistles
- Internet on my phone
- Pay off all of the credit cards that I defaulted on
- A trip to Ireland (Okay, there are still some big dreams)


I’m sure that there are a few other things, but nothing “ostentatious”. I don’t want a lot any more, I just want … enough.

How about you?

Friday, October 31, 2008

Dr. Jeckyl and Mr. Spam


Bring her to Seventh Heaven. (Can’t, it’s been canceled.)
We represent (The lollipop guild)
You are young and strong but helpless in bed? There is s way out! (I just move the cats)
Your wife will notice that for sure. (The only thing I can be sure of is that I would notice if I had a wife)
Secrets to being huge and thick unveiled. (That’s no secret – eat!!!!)
Hi sweety! Remember me? (I try to block out unpleasant things)
If not now, when? (Um, how about never?)
Do you love me or not? (NOT!!)
Our neighbors lost their alarm clock. (Hush, I’m trying to dig here.)


The picture? That's Dr. Frankenaidan!!!!


Hope you all have a safe and happy Halloween!!!

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Wednesday, Wherefore Art Though Wednesday


You know I could sit here and stare at this screen forever and still not have something to blog about. Well, except for the excitement I had Tuesday morning. I’m already running about 5 minutes late when I yanked open the front door this morning, only to have a sheet of paper fall to the ground. Usually I just glance at them and toss them on the table near the door and go on my way. For some reason that morning I really looked at what I held in my hands. Yep. Panic time. Jeanne, you really don’t want to leave yet, it does get better. I think. Anyway the apartment complex was doing maintenance that day and would be coming by to change the a/c filter. OMG. I don’t think I’ve shown a picture of my office set-up yet, so I’ll try to describe it. I’m using the dining room, a small area off of the kitchen. On one wall is the a/c whatchamacalit; the panel thing with the cold air intake. My desk slides up against it on one side. It only covers the last two slots of the vent. I then have some shelves on the desk. These have no backs, so by leaving the bottom one empty the a/c intake vent is clear and does its job. Did I mention that it’s all on carpet? Did I also mention that my father made this desk and it is solid wood? Didn’t think so. Wake up Brandy, it’ll be over soon. I quickly pulled the shelves off of the desk, scattering parts of the set-up throughout the room and into the living room. Then I looked at the desk. How in the world was I going to move it? If you grab onto the top of the desk to pull, it lifts up. I don’t know what’s going on there, but it made it impossible to pull on the only viable part of the desk. Great. Next I moved the PC and monitor off of the desk as they are a bit heavy. At this point it was around a quarter to 9. Did I mention I have to be at work by 9? Did I mention it takes me about 15 minutes to get there if the lights are fond of me that day? Didn’t think so. I stared back at the mammoth white elephant in front of me. Swan? This is more important than that business call, put the phone down. Where was I? Hmmm, oh, the desk! Thank you Christa. So I stood looking at the desk wondering how in the hell I was going to move it. I really hate this desk, but my father made it. So I’m sentimentally attached to it. But I hate it. Really. So, with the top of the desk out of the equation, that only left the bottom. The desk was a little lighter without the PC and monitor so I was able to lift it a little and “walk” it forward a little bit. Repeat on the other side; back and forth I went until it was out far enough that I could walk behind it. Susan, that blog isn’t as interesting as this one, get back here. It was now approximately a quarter after 9. Did I mention that I get paid by the hour? And did I mention that I’m running out of money, so every dollar is valuable? Didn’t think so. I ended up being a half hour late for work. Thankfully I’m working with someone else who has a key to the store or they would have been up a creek without a keyboard. Or something like that. That was my Tuesday. The a/c filter has been changed, but no longer looks exactly flush against the wall. This could be interesting …. Hi Raine!!
Oh, the picture? That's Tramp and the Halloween picture I made for him.

Monday, October 27, 2008

There's a Method to my Monday


As I’m sitting here another cold front is moving in. Tomorrow should be great temperature wise – 45 in the morning, 65 for the high. These are the temperatures that I enjoy the most. Pants, flannel shirts, flannel sheets, snuggling down into the blankets. Piling the bed with lots of blankets, the room so cold you could see your breath – I sleep better when it’s cold. I’m really not much on turning on the heat – only for a shower, or to protect the pipes – I’d much rather snuggle. I have more energy the colder it gets; you could almost say that I come alive when the temperatures drop. I do have a seasonal disorder, just not the one you hear so much about – the winter blues. Nope, I have the summer time blues (isn’t there a song there somewhere?). If I sweat when I move, I don’t like it. LOL

What about you? What’s your favorite temperature – and why?

Another picture that I made. This is Monster Cat, and this is his Halloween Picture.

Friday, October 24, 2008

Rocky Horror Spam Show




Genuine Passion, Genuine Joy. (Fake boobs, male enhancements)
We’re just starting. (Wake me when it’s over.)
The aim of this message is to help you achieve better health. (No, the aim of this message is to get me to spend my money. I ain’t stupid … )
Watches alert! (Why? Have they been stealing time?)
Do you know what chicks like? (Hmmm, let me think … seed?)
Is this correct? (According to Wikipedia.)
What every woman wants from their man. (A credit card with no limit?)

Oh, that's Aidan at the right end, with his friends Monster Cat and Zeke. Yeah, I'm silly.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

It's a Conspiracy


Hmmm, it’s Wednesday again. Wasn’t it Wednesday this time last week? And the week before? Can’t we be more original than that? I mean, the same days of the week over and over again. This is getting boring. I make the following suggestions. Monday will now be HughJackmanday; Tuesday will be GeorgeClooneyday; Wednesday can now be referred to as Giveusamilliondollarsday (I like that a lot more than Wednesday); Thursday, chocolatewithnocaloriesday; Friday can become flipyourbossthefingerwithoutgettingfiredday (I know, a little cumbersome, but it’s a nice thought); Saturday becomes noacneday; and Sunday will forever be myteamwillnotloselikethecowboysdidday. Simple, right? And not so ordinary and mundane the way we have it now. Whoever named the days of the week so many eons ago did not in any way have an imagination. Do you think that God would have named them after Greek gods and such? Nope, He would have named them Redroseday, Rainbowday, Babydeerday, babieslaughday, and, well, you get the idea – Sunday would have been lovethyneighborday. We’ve even had to go so far as to give them nicknames to make them more interesting. Hump Day, Thirsty Thursday, TGIF!!!!! It’s really bad when you have to spell it. And what’s with these months and seasons? Here in Texas, Spring should be renamed Dontblink. Fall will be Sneeze, Winter can be Notlongenough and Summer, well, we’re in Texas right? Summer would be the Hell Season. Yeppers. I just think we could have done a much better job of naming things. Giraffe? Hippopotamus? Don’t get me started on those.

Yep, it’s definitely Ramblingday …….
Oh, the picture? That's Bubba on a date with a kitty named Cookie ...

Monday, October 20, 2008

OH NO, I ALMOST FORGOT!!!!!

About to close down the computer and get to bed when I remembered that it was Sunday night and I hadn't done the blog post yet. Can we all say "OOPS"? So I searched my emails and found this one from both JJ and Bebo. Hope you enjoy. And yes, this was one of my inspirations for Bud and Ernie.




Subject: If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today . You have to be old enough to remember Abbott and Costello, and too old to REALLY understand computers, to fully appreciate this. For those of us (like me) who sometimes get flustered by our computers, please read on...

If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous sketch, "Who's on First?" might have turned out something like this:

COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO: Thanks, I'm setting up an office in my den, and I'm thinking about buying a computer.



ABBOTT: Mac?





COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.





ABBOTT: Your computer?




COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.



ABBOTT: Mac?



COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.



ABBOTT: What about Windows?



COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?



ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?



COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows?



ABBOTT: Wallpaper.





COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.

ABBOTT: Software for Windows?





COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business

. What do you have?



ABBOTT: Office.



COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?



ABBOTT: I just did.



COSTELLO: You just did what?



ABBOTT: Recommend something.



COSTELLO: You recommended thing?



ABBOTT: Yes.



COSTELLO: For my office? ABBOTT: Yes.



COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!

ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.



COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?



ABBOTT: Word.



COSTELLO: What word?



ABBOTT: Word in Office.



COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.



ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.



COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?



ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue "W".



COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue "w" if you don't start with some straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?



ABBOTT: Money.



COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?



ABBOTT: Money.



COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?



ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.



COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?



ABBOTT: Money.



COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?



ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.



COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?



ABBOTT: One copy.



COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?



ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.



COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?



ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!



A few days later.



ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?



COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?



ABBOTT: Click on "START".............



Friday, October 17, 2008

The Spammy Returns




Iva debt (Iva debt too!)
I meet and chat with you. (Sorry, my calendar is full …)
From stunning Brunette (Oooooh, Hugh!!!)
You are what you wear. (Now you tell me …)
Woman hunt movie (That Sarah Palin, she’ll hunt anything)
Salute (No, a bow will do)
Doctor’s secretly recommend you this store (Is the store that embarrassed?)
Old secret manner to solve your passion problem (Tried that, it doesn’t work)
Don’t you agree to be sick! (I’ll try not to if you agree not to make me sick)
Confirm your order! (Okay, okay all ready, I’ll confirm that I want you to bow!!!)

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Calendar Says Wednesday, but That Has to be Wrong


Wow! It’s Wednesday already? Gadzooks this vacation has gone by fast and my hand isn’t near ready to go to work on Thursday. The butterfly strips are holding on fast, so that means I’m going to have to wrap the hand in gauze to keep it completely sealed in that dirty, dingy bookstore. Sheesh.

Tuesday went by rather quietly. I didn’t do a lot, just some photoshopping to keep my mind off of things. Can you see Bubba in the picture above? Of course you can, ya can’t hide that orange body. This is another contest entry, like the two before. This program that I’m using is free and it’s called GIMP. You can download it – I think its GIMP.com, but check, you probably can find it if you Google GIMP. It’s an easy program to learn; I’m still in the amateurish stage, but I’m having fun with it.

We are going to have great weather on Wednesday, well except for the rain maybe. The temps will be more fall-like. Sometime in the afternoon we’ll creep to the mid-70s, and then a cool front will come in and the temps will drop into the 60s by evening. It will be a perfect day to turn off the A/C and open windows.

Can you believe it’s the middle of October now? I do love this time of year but it’s also my most melancholy; the holiday season. Not to mention mom’s birthday in November. Bebo wants to have Thanksgiving at her apartment. Don’t know if anyone else will make it (friends) or if it will be another Thanksgiving with just the two of us. Oh wait, I spent Thanksgiving alone last year, so having it with just Bebo will be an improvement.

Here I am talking about Thanksgiving and we haven’t hit Halloween yet. Who do I think I am, a department store? Halloween, my first in an apartment. I don’t know how much trick or treating is done here; there are a lot of kids in the complex. So I guess I’ll buy candy – I will either have to buy something I don’t like so I won’t eat it before Halloween, or at least throw in a bag for me.

So, what are y’all up to? Anything exciting, titillating, mysterious, adventurous – come on y’all, you know I live vicariously through you!

Have a great Wednesday, thank you so much for the wonderful comments yesterday – I appreciated them more than you can know.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

I miss you mommie


November 15, 1928 - October 14, 2006






I thought of you with love today ,,,


but that is nothing new,


I thought about you yesterday and days before that too.


I think of you in silence I often speak your name,


all I have are memories and your picture in a frame...


Your memory is my keepsake ~with which I'll never part ~


God has you in His keeping~I have you in my heart."

Author Unknown

Monday, October 13, 2008

We'll look at Bev from both sides now




So on October 3 I had to take Bebo for some tests – an endoscopy (sp?) and a colonoscopy. The title of this blog? That’s what the anesthesiologists sang to Bebo (whose real name is Beverly) as she was going to sleep. LOL It was pretty funny. We (the nurse and I) had quite a time trying to get her to wake up. I knew she was coming out of it when she called me a bitch. Yeppers, that’s my Bebo. And it was that sort of a day. On the way over to her apartment that morning I passed the CVS Pharmacy. They have one of those, ohhh what are they called, um, marquee signs out front advertising their specials. There is was, Flogers coffee. Yep, the best part of waking up is a flogging with your cup. We laughed about that for a good couple of days. The results of the tests - the good news is that there isn’t any cancer or anything; the bad part is that they still don’t know what is causing her anemia. So now she has to have one of those tests where she swallows the camera/pill and they take pictures.

I got the stitches out Sunday morning. They had already begun falling out on their own anyway. The wound is still gaping a little, so the doctor put on butterfly strips and I have to keep the hand pretty immobile (like that’s going to happen) until the strips fall off. I hope they do so before Thursday as that’s when I return from my vacation. It’ll be hard to keep the area sanitary in that dirty store if the wound isn’t closed.

That’s really all there is – I know, you can hardly contain your excitement over my full and vivacious life!!

Oh, and can you find Aidan in the picture above? You can click on it to make it larger, I think. LOL

Saturday, October 11, 2008

I miss you daddy


May 31, 1922 - October 11, 2000

Friday, October 10, 2008

Spamenstein



do u need Good pay job?? (no, I need those low paying ones)
I absolutely love you! (Are you sure?)
Here (What? Has it had its shots?)
Leg craps (I’d see a doctor about that – and quick.)
Muhhaahahahahahahahaha (It wasn’t that funny.)
Titanic dimensions without much effort. (But the Titanic sank … )
From Susie (Leave her out of this, will ya? And she’ll tell you that it sank too. Haven’t you seen the movie?)
Oxygen debt (Oh great! What other kind of debt can I get into? No, don’t answer that. Is there a bailout?)
Debt advice (Don’t take another breath until you can pay for the last one?)
Don’t allow ladies to offend you (Wonderful! See, I’m not paranoid ….)
Say I can have sex all night long. (I can have sex all night long … Sorry, didn’t work. Are there Ruby Slippers involved?)




Pssst Can you see BooBear in the picture above? Look closely ....

Wednesday, October 08, 2008

Wisdom of Larry the Cable Guy

Hand is pretty sore after work today. Luckily, I've started vacation, so don't have to go back until next Thursday!

1. A day without sunshine is like night.

2. On the other hand, you have different fingers.

3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

5. Remember, half the people you know are below average.

6. He who laughs last thinks slowest.

7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.

9. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.

10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

11. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.

12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.

13. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.

14. OK, so what's the speed of dark?

15. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

16. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

17. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?

18. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

19. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?

20. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

21. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, 'What the heck happened?'

22. Just remember -- if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.

23. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

24. Life isn't like a box of chocolates. It's more like a jar of jalapeno's. What you do today, might burn your butt tomorrow.

Monday, October 06, 2008

I didn't see this in the cards

If you are here before Bebo comments, please come back and read it. She will explain the title of this post, as well as the fact that I have 4 stitches and it hurts to type.

START WITH THE TITLE EXPLANATION BEBO

In the mean time, enjoy this little video. See you Wednesday.

Goat yells for his mom - in English

Friday, October 03, 2008

I've Got Your Number

Still not quite up to Spam snuff, so here's something that I found interesting. I'd like to know what you come up with. For me, I used Bailey Anne Stewart.

How Numerology Works

When working with a name, numbers have corresponding letters. The numbers are added up and broken down into single digits in order to give you your final Destiny Number.

The Number Assignments

1= A, J, S
2= B, K, T
3= C, L, U
4= D, M, V
5= E, N, W
6= F, O, X
7= G, P, Y
8= H, Q, Z
9= I, R

How to Find Your Destiny Number

Write down your full name (first, middle, and last). This is the name you were given at birth—not your married name, etc.
Using the table above, write down the number matched to each letter in each name (i.e. BAILEY = 2, 1, 9, 3, 5, 7).
Add the numbers together for each name (i.e. 2+1+9+3+5+7= 27).
You will most likely get a double digit for each name; break down each double digit number you get by adding the first and second digit to get one number (i.e. from the 27 above, add together 2+7 to get 9, which is the number for my first name).
Add up the final numbers you get from each name (i.e. my middle name number is 7 and my last name number is 7, so 9+7+7 =23).
Once again, break down any double-digit numbers into one digit to get your final Destiny Number (i.e. from the 23 above, add together 2+3 to get 5, which is my final Destiny Number).

In numerology, the basic vibrations are numbers 1 through 9, but the numbers 11 and 22 are master numbers and should not be reduced to a single digit since these are master vibrations.
There are plenty of books and Web sites that will give you a thorough analysis of your Destiny Number, but here’s a basic rundown on what your Destiny Number means for you:

1 is determined, autonomous, and self-reliant
2 is loyal, tactful, and analytical
3 is passionate, positive, and fun-loving
4 is sensible, traditional, and serious
5 is bold, temperamental, and sensual
6 is responsible, cautious, and domestic
7 is spiritual, unconventional, and somewhat reclusive
8 is money-oriented, assured, and authoritative
9 is versatile, compassionate, and worldly
11 is enlightened, deep, and high-strung
22 is ambitious, a global planner, and motivated

So Bailey Stewart is bold, temperamental, and sensual. Yeah, I can live with that. My real name number is 9. What I find fascinating is the first line in the linked page for number 9: With a Destiny number of 9 you are meant to bring charity, beauty, art, romance and perfection into the world. Wow, I'm meant to bring art and romance into the world. I can live with that too.

So, what's your number?

Wednesday, October 01, 2008

Oh Pain What a Wednesday It Be

Hello bloggers
Hello lurkers
Here I am again
Going beserkers
While my muses
Are in the tropics
I’m stuck looking
For a topic.

What’s she doing?

Writing her blog.

Shouldn’t she have her hands on the keyboard?

Technicalities, technicalities.

So Bud, what did you do this summer?

Skied in the Alps, ran with the bulls, paraglided off the cliffs in Mexico. What about you Ern?

Oh, I had two corns removed and a bikini wax.

That’s it?

They were huge corns.

I don’t even want to know about the bikini wax.

Brazilian.

Thank you for that picture.

Where did all of these cobwebs come from?

Place has been empty for a while.

Whoo, you mean no one’s been home?

Nope, but they left this light bulb going.

Kind of dim.

Why are you out of breath?

Had to take the stairs.

What about the elevator?

Wouldn’t go all the way to the top.

Maaan, this head is getting to be a bit run down.

You’re telling me. I think that’s grass growing in her ears.

Notice something?

I notice a lot of things.

None of them important.

What?

She only pulls us out when she has nothing to blog about.

You mean we’re a crutch?

Yep.

Does that mean her brain is broken?

There are some that think so.

Well I love her.

That’s ‘cuz your brain is broken too.

Hey! I resemble that remark.

Ern?

What Bud?

Tell the nice people to have a good day.

What nice people?

The ones reading this.

You mean there are people out there?

So they say.

Can they see me?

No, you’re just a voice to them.

Good, ‘cuz my wax is growing back.

Ernie, are you nekkid again?

Yeppers.

*sigh* Have a nice day Ernie.

You have a nice day too Bud.

Monday, September 29, 2008

If it's Monday, then yesterday had to be Sunday

Yeah, I've lost sight of my days. LOL

I really don’t know if I’m perturbed or not. Hmmm? Oh, perturbed. You know, put out, etc. not that I put out or anything, uh, sheesh, where was I? Oh, perturbed. Anyhoo, there’s this Airborne commercial and it, … yes, I said commercial, keep up will you! There’s this Airborne commercial and … I don’t care if it’s spelled with or without the “e” at the end, leave me alone. Airborne has this commercial with Sebastian the romance book hero and I don’t know whether I’m amused or insulted. I mean, I’ve spent a lot of time flapping my gums defending romances as no longer being filled with Fabiolics and bodice ripping, and along comes this commercial that seems to negate (yes, party word) everything I’ve said. Well, not everything, ‘cuz frankly it doesn’t concern everything, just the stuff that pertains (ooooh, I’m on a roll now) to romance novels. Confused you yet? Good, I’ve been trying hard to gather people into my little world. Anyhoo, there he is, Sebastian, an example of manly manhood with his flowing brown locks, his bare chest, loin cloth like thingie – I can’t tell if he’s supposed to be Native American, Aztec, jungle king, whatever, but he’s a walking, non-talking example of the kind of romance hero that belongs in another era. And he seems clueless. Yes, that’s the kind of man I want, all looks but no brain …

So like I said before – giggly or growlie? High-horse, soapbox or do I just let it go as an example of my whacked out brain looking for romance conspiracies. After all, I don’t see Oliver Stone hanging around. Don’t know what I’m talking about? Here’s the link. After the screen pulls up, click on “who is Sebastian” or something similar (oops, fragment). Yeah, that’s it. See? The wigglet wonder in the thongs – on his feet ladies, on his feet. *rolling eyes*

I mean, if they’re going to pull out a romance hero, why not something this for example?














So there you are, Bailey's dream romance heroes. Anyone you would choose? Oh, and don't forget to weigh in on the Sebastian thingie.


I'm feeling much better now thank you!! Hardly any wheezing today at all, and after I switched to menthol cigarettes, hardly any coughing either.


And I can't close without a sincere goodbye to a great man. People often complain about stars who ask for money for causes, saying stuff like "why don't they put their money where their mouth is" and the like. Well, Paul Newman did. All of the profits from the Newman's Own line went to charity. Yeah, neato isn't it.


Paul Newman
January 26, 1925
September 26, 2008
















Friday, September 26, 2008

Still Gone With the Wind

I'm still not up to snuff (what does that really mean?), so I'm tossing a few more funny things your way, or at least I think they're funny - but then, I'm on drugs ...



Oh, and JJ? She can't poke me - I strike back! LOL

A Little Humor ...

A man and his wife were working in their garden one day and the man looks over at his wife and says: 'Your butt is getting really big, I mean really big. I bet your butt is bigger than the barbecue.'


With that he proceeded to get a measuring tape and measure the grill and then went over to where his wife was working and measured his wife's bottom.'Yes, I was right ... your butt is two inches wider than the barbecue!!!'



The woman chose to ignore her husband. Later that night in bed, the husband is feeling a little frisky. He makes some advances towards his wife who completely brushes him off.



'What's wrong?' he asks.



She answers: 'Do you really think I'm going to fire up this big-ass grill for one little weenie???



************

Funny Ads

These are advertisements that have appeared in papers across the country (or so we are led to believe)
- Mt. Kilimanjaro, the breathtaking backdrop for the Serena Lodge. Swim in the lovely pool while you drink it all in.
- The hotel has bowling alleys, tennis courts, comfortable beds, and other athletic facilities.
- Toaster: A gift that every member of the family appreciates. Automatically burns toast.
- Sheer stockings. Designed for fancy dress, but so serviceable that lots of women wear nothing else.
- Stock up and save. Limit: one.
- We build bodies that last a lifetime.
- For Rent: 6-room hated apartment.
- Man, honest. Will take anything.

*******************




funny pictures
moar funny pictures

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Did someone get the license plate of that truck?

I have asthmatic bronchitis - like I've never had that before, right? Anyway, Bebo took me to the doctor because I really couldn't drive myself. I'm on bedrest for a few days and should be able to return to work on Saturday.

Since I'm under the weather and don't feel like blogging, here's something to give you a giggle.

Take care!

Living with the Wolf Man

The Wolf Man comes home one day from a long day at the office. "How was work, dear?" his wife asks.

"Listen! I don't want to talk about work!" he shouts.

"Okay. Would you like to sit down and eat a nice home cooked meal?" she asks nicely.

"Listen!" he shouts again. "I'm not hungry! I don't wanna eat! All right! Is that all right with you? Can I come home from work and just do my own thing without you forcing food down my throat? Huh?"

At this moment, the wolf man started growling, and throwing things around the apartment in a mad rage.

Looking out the window, his wife sees a full moon and says to herself, "Well, I guess it's that time of the month."