Wednesday, October 08, 2008

Wisdom of Larry the Cable Guy

Hand is pretty sore after work today. Luckily, I've started vacation, so don't have to go back until next Thursday!

1. A day without sunshine is like night.

2. On the other hand, you have different fingers.

3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

5. Remember, half the people you know are below average.

6. He who laughs last thinks slowest.

7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.

9. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.

10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

11. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.

12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.

13. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.

14. OK, so what's the speed of dark?

15. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

16. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

17. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?

18. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

19. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?

20. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

21. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, 'What the heck happened?'

22. Just remember -- if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.

23. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

24. Life isn't like a box of chocolates. It's more like a jar of jalapeno's. What you do today, might burn your butt tomorrow.


bebo said...

Larry the Cable Guy! Does he know Bud & Ernie? Sounds like they would hang out together.

Susan said...

I love Larry the Cable Guy! And your post made me laugh.

Take it easy. Hopefully your hand will be feeling better soon. Hugs!

Brandy said...

Larry the Cable guy is funny! I like the Blue Collar Comedy tour. *G*
I hope your hand feels much better, soon! HUGS!

catslady said...

I can't even pick a favorite because they're all so good. Enjoy your time off!

JJ said...

So, at what point do we start gauging our lives by just exactly how many of those we can check off? LOL

I am terribly sorry about your hand Bailey... It will be better very soon. :-)

BeBo... How come she gets a vacation and we don't?

Bailey Stewart said...

'cuz my boss loves me ....