Thursday, February 15, 2007

Egads!

I'm working with the boss Thursday morning

This has been a warning from the My Boss is a Perfectionist System

We now return you to your regular blogging.

So, yeah, I'm working with the boss on Thursday morning. Can't you tell I'm excited? I like him, but not to work with. He's picky, a perfectionist and he makes me nervous. I make more mistakes when he's around than I would in a month or two. I don't do things the way he does and trying to remember how I'm supposed to do it, well it's just frustrating. On the bright side, I do start my new anti-depressants and anti-anxiety medication that morning too. Maybe they'll conteract each other? I apologize for yesterday - I had a minor meltdown Tuesday night and couldn't post. I thought about mom's birthday, Christmas, New Years as days that would get me, but I never considered Valentine's Day and how lonely I would feel. No card, no rose, no mom. Even through the fog of Alzheimer's last year, she somehow remembered to have Bebo buy me a rose. So yesterday pretty much sucked. Big time. I spent the morning getting enrolled in our low-income medical program, saw a doctor, got hooked up with drugs, had three vials of blood withdrawn and in a couple of weeks I should be seeing a psychiatrist. Then maybe Bailey will be a happy camper again. I've had a very hard time since mom died - being clinically depressed when I began taking care of my parent's didn't help much. Not having any medical care for the last 7 years wasn't a good thing either. It's one of the reasons I've had a hard time getting the house in order, and it's also interfering with my writing. Major no no. When you're depressed you have periods of high energy and then periods where things that you normally enjoy don't interest you; hence the writing and then not writing, reading and then not reading.

On the writing front - weeeellllll, my readers may have fits, but I'm thinking of changing the direction of the story. Brandy, quit throwing things at me; Glenice? Yeah, you and what army; Jeanne, I think my cats can take yours; Susan, yeah, they could probably take yours too. I'm getting to know my characters and, well, they're not happy with the story line. Imagine that - like they think it's their story or something. Of all the nerve. No, really, I think (and Bebo too) that the direction I'm leaning towards is a good one. We'll see, I haven't decided yet.

I'd better get to bed now - I have "you know who" in the morning and I don't want to be a slug.

Sorry I haven't been a good blogging buddy either. I think I mentioned that I'm filling in for someone at work and I've been working every day this week. Things will be back to normal (as normal as I can get) after the weekend.

20 comments:

Brandy said...

I don't throw things at my friends!! (Only Chris. *g*)
Take the story where you feel it needs to go! You have my uttmost support. And I'm glad you're finally taking care of yourself!

ruby55 said...

I'm sorry you had a lousy day yesterday. I can empathize. My mother never got me flowers unless they were very early ones from the garden but at least she always had something special around my breakfast plate. I didn't even get a card from my sister who's usually pretty good about that but, I must admit, I sent none out this year myself. I know I have tons of them here somewhere but haven't found them yet. It's taking almost as long to unpack as it did to pack. After all, a lot of things need new spots and there were still boxes in my living area that never did get quite unpacked. You know that it's slow work.

I hope the doctors can do something to help you. We've a lot in common there too.

I'll be praying for your working with "de boss". I know how hard it is to work when someone is constantly watching you critically, making sure you do it his way. Hugs and prayers.

And you take that story where it needs to go. *You're* the author.

I seemed to be going at a good clip in unpacking but just like the last move, I suddenly felt all the energy drain out of me. I have been working hard, maybe too hard, for the condition I'm in.

Above all now, be sure to take care of yourself. I know it's not easy. I badly need someone who can help be do some basic carpentry. With my right hand as it is, I can't even get a nail in straight.

One good thing is that my cold at least is almost gone. I'm very grateful for that. Once in a while I still get plugged up or shivery but otherwise I'm OK there.

Happy belated Valentine's Day, Eve! You're in my thoughts and prayers.

raine said...

Just {{{hugs}}}.

beautiful day said...

A big hug for you from me. It cant be easy, you brought tears to my eyes. I dont know what i will do if i am ever in that position. My dad is my hero and my mum is just mum, love them to bits. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx for you Bailey. Now your boss. Just think of mine, all he does all day is grumps and shouts, he never listens and he is always right (NOT). On the bright side he isnt here today yeyyyyy. I hope you are feeling better soon, take care Bailey xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Bailey Stewart said...

Thanks y'all.

Beautiful Day - at least I like my boss - he just hovers. But if he's in a good mood, it can be fun. I just hope we're not busy so there's not a lot I have to do for him to correct.

Bailey Stewart said...

Oh, and Beautiful Day, I also meant to tell you that you're lucky. Cherish your parents now.

Dru said...

{{{{{{Bailey}}}}}}

Stacy Dawn said...

Aww, you've been having such a hard lately. Sure hope everything works out for you soon.

Good luck with the boss...hope the day goes fast.

Devon Ellington said...

If your story says change direction, then change direction. Trust the story.

Feel better soon.

Melissa Marsh said...

I'm glad you went and found help for your depression, Bailey. I know firsthand how debilitating it can be. Hugs!!!

Tori Lennox said...

*hugs* sweetie. Hang in there.

Susan said...

Hey I wouldn't pit my cats against yours especially since mine are too busy fighting with each other!

I am willing to follow wherever you think the story should go. It is your story after all!

It's about time you started to put yourself first. I hope you know I'm here for you any time. Sending hugs and love your way.

Siobhan said...

Really feel for you, Bailey. Lots of hugs and good wishes. But glad the story is speaking to you, though. That's great news.

Toni Anderson said...

Jeez--send me some drugs would you? I'm miserable.
Some days just suck huh?

Bailey I am very sorry you're depressed, but it is no wonder and hopefully the drugs will get you over this hump. Hugs.XXX

Daisy Dexter Dobbs said...

Hearfelt hugs, Bailey.

catslady said...

mLOL about the cats. I'm sure wherever your story takes you that it's going to be wonderful! Sometimes holidays make a lot of people just feel bad. Better to have people who care about you all the time and although we're not there - we do care. Hope the new meds help and {{hugs}}.

Dr. Bill Emener said...

Sad to hear about how you're feeling. But if you can, try to focus on good/happy things... don't want to suffer from what I call "secondary depression" (feeling depressed because you feel depressed).
Hang in there... and try to do something... something that you enjoy doing...
Bill

Marty said...

Sounds like you're excited about the new direction of your story. Very sorry you had a lousy day, but glad you're proactive. Thinking of you :)

Lis said...

*hugs* I agree with Devon, trust the story. Its amazing how right those pesky characters can be at times

Hope work went well!

Melissa said...

Sending prayers and hugs and love your way, Bailey!