Friday, February 16, 2007

Coffee, Tea or Spam

My discovery. (Didn’t I tell you to stay out of my backyard?)
Said he showing me. (Who’s showing you?)
Now the secret is out. (Well if he’d quit showing everyone.)
Margarita plane. (Where do I buy my ticket?)
I’m coming over. (In the margarita plane? Gives a new meaning to the phrase “flying high”)
Would you like to use your dick as a billiards cue? (For the thirty-three hundredth time, I’m a woman!)
Works on women too. (Oh, this is too much.)
The copyright notice is reproduced on the page immediately following the title. (And you’re telling me this because … someone has a copyright on spam?)
Elvira we have the most advanced ass tracking services in the world. (Other than the fact that I don’t want my ass tracked, who the hell is Elvira?)
Amazing! They told her she was approved. (That’s good. Maybe they’re hearts on fire for Elvira.)
How’s it hanging? (It.doesn’t.hang. But hey, have I got a product for you. Do you like to play pool?)
Free condoms for all in Brazil. (Must be where all of the margarita planes take off from.)
It’s all in the mind. (I’ve got drugs for that now.)
Weight loss in 7 days. (Quickie divorce in Brazil.)
What your cat doesn’t know about credit repair. (Oh no, Bubba has a credit card!)
Bob said that the Sal and Richard thing is getting out of hand. (Elvira, Bob, Sal and Richard? My God, spam’s got names!)

13 comments:

Michele said...

Quickie Brazilian Divorce? Oh, Bailey, that's perfect!

Too funny.
Loved the SPAM today.

THanks for the giggles!

Lis said...

LMAO, I've got tears in my eyes from this! And I've got that darn country song Elvira in my head too

Nice avatar, all packed for the margarita plane??

Brandy said...

Oh thank goodness, now I'm not the only one who has that song now playing in my head. Margarita planes, huh? I hate flying, but that sounds like fun! Maybe I'll finally be able to find out what one tastes like.

beautiful day said...

Hi Bailey...i hope u r feeling much better today. Its miserable day here, rain and grey clouds. Happy me tho coz am gonna see my Fav Rock Band...Jagged Edge. Have a very good weekend. Thanks for that Bailey...i will cherish them. Take care now x

Marty said...

Ass tracker? Is that how they find out who's on the Margarita plane? I knew they government was involved somehow...

Dru said...

A good way to start a Friday. Thanks for the laugh.

How are you feeling today?

Bailey Stewart said...

Yes, that's me getting ready for the margarita plane.

I'm not sure how I'm feeling this morning, still dealing with the dizziness.

Toni Anderson said...

Elvira?

LOL--have a nice SPAM day

James Goodman said...

lmao. I needed a good laugh this morning. Thanks for that. :D

Meretta said...

LOL. I hope you're keeping Bubba away from the gambling sites!

Tori Lennox said...

What your cat doesn’t know about credit repair.

For some reason this one just makes me laugh and laugh!

As for Elvira, there's the old Oakridge Boys song and Elvira, Mistress of the Dark. *g*

Susan said...

I loved all of them. I have tears coming down my face from laughing!

I that thrilled you still express your sense of humor so well,it makes my Fridays much brighter!

catslady said...

I think these were the funniest yet. You definitely haven't lost your sense of humor :)