Summer Spam

Where have you been? (Took a break, what’s it to you?)
Not the same without you. (I’m sure you managed to make it on your own.)
Remind me God. (Not God, just Queen.)
Crazy woman goes on dog squeezing rampage. (Did you have to point out that she was crazy?)
Goodiest Abba suggestion (Mama Mia!!)
Mph mayonnaise Dixieland cartography mumble. (Forget about the mumbling map of Dixieland, what’s mph mayonnaise?)
Meet me at 1:30. (Not on your life.)
THIS IS JAMES BOND’S CHOICE. (Then let James Bond meet you.)
Thinking about you naked. (Don’t you have something better to do? Oh wait, you’re spam …)
And then … I farted. (Seeing me naked has that effect on people)
Paris Hilton swaps vagina for penis. (Why not? It was worn out anyway.)
SpongeBob named in Paris Hilton paternity lawsuit. (Not if she’s swapped her … oh, nevermind.)
Damn work! (You can say that again.)
Damn work! (I didn’t mean … Oh no, I’m about to argue with spam.)
baileystewart@baileystewart.net – Get ready for sex in 15 minutes. (Hugh?)

And since blogspot likes to put those frames on pictures and cut off the words on my LOLCats, here's just the link.

Here We Go Again

Oh, hi! Look, you showed up again. Isn’t that nice of you. What’s the matter, got nothing else to do? Evidently I don’t either. LOL You see, it’s Summer. All together now, how does Bailey feel about Summer? You’re lagging Toni. Michele, pay attention. One more time. Tori, this way sweetie. Yes, face the monitor. Brandy! Quit snickering. Melissa? Wake up dearie. Once more everyone. How does Bailey feel about Summer? There you go, that was perfect. Almost. Susan? What are you doing? No looking at LOLCats right now. Anyway, yes it’s Summer and my brain has gone on vacation along with the nekkid muses. I’m waiting for Fall. Please, sweet Fall, show your orange leaves, your crisp evenings, your splendid shedding of Summer’s green coat. Cast off the chains of Summer and run free like the wind!!!!! Oh, sorry, got carried away there. Lis honey, you’re late. Find a seat. You’ll have to catch up on your own. BTW, for being late that’ll be 3 laps around the track. Raine? I see you lurking over there. (waving) Okay, as you have noticed, the blog is still a Monday, Wednesday and Friday blog. And Friday’s will still be spam day. Keep down the cheers people. The only thing I ask of you – and this is for you lurkers – just at least say hi once a week. Two letters - H and I – a simple thing but enough to let me know that you are out there.

So it’s Summer, Tuesday was a level red ozone alert, Wednesday a level orange. Bebo and I are not amused. This isn’t good for people with asthma. It’s not really good for people without asthma. We’re all choked up about it. (har, har) But Fall really is just around the corner. School has started, NFL is in pre-season, the new Fall TV season is within eyeshot. Soon the Texas State Fair will start – my last sign of Fall. Last weekend, Bebo and her mother saw geese flying in formation heading south. Yippee!!!!!!!!! Fly babies, fly home to mama!!!!! I said – oh, hi. I forgot you were there for a moment. Sooo, Summer is nearing it’s end (oh please, oh please, oh please), and soon Bailey will be in a much better mood. You will be thankful for this too, just wait and see.

So, without further ado (not that we were ado-ing anyway), here is another of my LOLCatz. Yes Susan, see – good things do come to those who wait.

Until Friday, have fun, be safe, and be good. If you can’t be good, take notes.



moar funny pictures

ACKKKKKKK it cut off the words again. Sheesh!!!

Okay, here's the link

What was your name again?

Hi, maybe I should re-introduce myself. My name is Bailey Stewart, and I’m a writer. I write romantic comedies. At least, I think about romantic comedies. I haven’t quite gotten them transferred from the ol’ brain matter to paper. Just a little catch, but I’m sure I’ll get past that eventually. Anyway, I missed you guys! What have I been doing while I’ve been gone? Absolutely nothing. And I’ve gotten damn good at it. If doing nothing were an Olympic event, I’d take home a silver medal. Really. No, not a gold, I have been doing some things. The office is almost put together; there are only a couple of boxes in the bedroom. Miraculously and to Bebo’s amazement, I’ve actually been keeping the apartment half-way decent. I think I’ve used the vacuum more in the 5 months I’ve been here than I think I ever did in a year at the house. Yep, the vacuum cleaner has become my friend. Now, if only the iron would talk to me. I also joined a paranormal group and have been on a ghost hunt. That was fun and I’m looking forward to doing more of it. Plus, as a step towards getting the stories from the head to the page, I am on the brink of joining Yellow Rose, the Fort Worth branch of the RWA. See, I’ve been disqualified for the gold. Oh, and Aidan got married. Yes, you read it right, my oldest kitty is now a married man. And no, the men in white jackets are not waiting for me. I think. He married a nice kitty named Cissy in a beautiful MySpace ceremony at the Rock Bottom Bar and Grill. I cried. If you promise not to laugh too hard, I’ll even share pictures here. Right now the happy couple is honeymooning in Ireland. Dublin to be exact. Hey, if you have to dream, dream big.

So what about you? What have you been up to in the last couple of months? I hope everyone has been having a great summer. I know that Michele and Dru have joined Facebook. Marty got married. And …. Well hey, fill me in!!

Oh wait!! I have been doing something else. I've been making my own LOLCatz. Obviously, you don't have to use your own pictures, since this isn't one of my cats. They have their own picture files you can choose from. This is one of my favorites that I've made.




HEY!!! BLOGGER CUT OFF THE WORDS!!!!! AWWWWWWW.
You gotta go here to see it properly.
moar funny pictures