Monday, March 31, 2008

The Truck

Main Entry: truck
Function: noun
Etymology: probably back-formation from truckle small wheel
Date: 1611
3: a wheeled vehicle for moving heavy articles: as a: a strong horse-drawn or automotive vehicle (as a pickup) for hauling

That’s Webster’s definition of a truck. My definition is quite different. I hate them. No, let me be more specific. There is one certain pickup truck that I hate. Totally. I can see the headline now:

Aspiring Author Arrested for Truckocide.
Suspect allegedly smashed truck to smithereens with a tire iron, all the while yelling “die you effing truck, die!”

It’s not really the trucks fault. I’m sure it’s a fine upstanding truck. In fact, it may have little trucks to support. I don’t care. I hate it. Sitting out there so innocent looking. No one would believe how evil it is. And it is evil, don’t doubt about that one bit. It’s either parked on one side or the other of my bedroom window, sometimes right smack dab in front of it. And it hates me as much as I hate it. I’m positive about that one. Otherwise, why would its alarm go off at all hours of the night and early morning? Why else would it do it especially the night before I have to get up for work? And believe you me, it’s not just night when it lets itself be heard. It went off several times today, breaking the silence with its shrill siren and incessant horn hocking. Did I mention incessant? Aggravating? I’m going to end up flipping out one night and charging out my patio door, tire iron waving in the humid Texas night as I climb hysterically over the patio fence. Then it’ll be just the truck and I. And the tire arm. I’m betting on me.

BTW, I've been busy putting together a MySpace fan page for Jill. Head on over to see it. Let me know what you think. It's 99% done and I'm waiting for Jill to crawl out from the deadline cave (Monday I hope) to finish the little bit that's left. You don't have to be a member of MySpace to look at the page.


bebo said...

Ah yes... blasting car alarms... one of the many "joys" of apartment living... NOT!

Susan said...

It doesn't just happen at apartments. And why do the alarms have to be so loud and have to go off at all hours?!

Bailey, in a fight between you and the truck I'm putting my money on you. :)

Dru said...

I'll be right there cheering you on.

Meretta said...

That truck sounds nasty! I bet you are not alone in hating it.

Rene said...

OMG, this reminds me of my husband's @#$#$ Taurus SHO. This damn car hates me. If I take it out, the alarm goes off when I try to start it. And every day when it sits in our driveway, the alarm goes off at 2:30ish every afternoon. Not as bad as the middle of the night, but still annoying. Particularly as you could hit the damn thing with a sledgehammer and it won't go off but brush by it with a piece of toilet paper and it goes nuts. I feel your pain.

I think I already joined the new Jill page.

Brandy said...

Egads! Sorry to hear about the truck alarm. Aren't there noise ordinances for those stupid things?

Bailey Stewart said...

I hate this truck ...

Rene, I'll check. I'm going there in a minute.

Oh great, my word verification is futlle (like futile?)

catslady said...

Noise is one of my pet peeves. Car alarms, lawn mowers, leaf blowers, hedge clippers, weed neighbors are obsessed and they start at 7 AM sometimes (most are retired and have all day but nooooooooo they have to do it early and sometimes all day long).
Sorry - just want to say I understand your frustration.

Anonymous said...

call the super! that is not right...they need to take the stipid thing in and get it fixed! Our neighbors ended up with the police on their doorstep one night...why is it that it never wakes up the owner?????

Bailey Stewart said...

Actually Anonymous, I sort of exaggerated it for comedic purposes. It's not really constant and didn't even happen last night at all. And besides, even if it were, I'm kinda brand new here and definitely would not call the super ... that is so not me.

glenice said...

hm...must have forgot to type my name :) oops!

I know you are not that kind of person...but I am! :) I REALLY need my beauty sleep!!

Melissa said...

Oh, sorry about the darn alarm.

cool on the page you're putting together!