What Do You Mean You Don't Know Haminglay?

For those who don’t know it, I work in a bookstore. Its hard work, shelving, alphabetizing, up and down on step-ladders, etc. But every once in a while, okay almost every day, someone on the other side of the counter/phone will make it both worthwhile and frustrating. Hence, things my customers tell me.

Up and coming authors (if you can’t figure out who they are, check the bottom of the post – and yes, some are repeats, I’m not digging out old posts to see what I’ve done already):

Irish Johnson
Janet Plum
Linda Lying Miller
Charles Dickerson
Judy Pickle
Ernest Haminglay
Sofclees


New Releases:

The Murdering Doves
The Angry Grapes
The Little ‘Ol Men See
The Stookie Stackedhouse books

Words we don’t want to hear again:

Triology (trilogy)
Arthur (author)


And now, the customers:


“Paperbacks Plus in Mesquite, may I help you?”
“Is this Paperbacks Plus?”
(Is there an echo?)
“Yes, may I help you?
“Do you have the phone number for Half Price?”
(Do you have a short pier you can walk off of?)


“I’m looking for a book”
(been there, done that, have the straight jacket to prove it)
“And the book is?”
“I don’t remember the name of the book, but the author is that lady who wrote that other book that was made into a movie …”
(Oh her, we don’t carry her books, she’s a snob)

“Can we rent the magazines”
(Yes, for a $40 deposit)

“Paperbacks Plus in Mesquite, may I help you?”
“Do you carry that paper for the computer that has the border on it?”
“No, we’re a used bookstore.”
“What’s the plus for?”
“DVD’s, hardbacks, magazines, CD’s”
“Well that’s a stupid name”
(and your mom dresses you funny)

“I’m looking for a book …”
(OMG not you again!!)

Authors:
Iris Johansen
Janet Evanovich
Linda Lael Miller
Charles Dickens
Judy Picoult
Ernest Hemingway
Sophocles

Books:
To Kill A Mockingbird
The Grapes of Wrath
The Old Man and the Sea
Sookie Stackhouse