RWA Pictures

This was mine, Dennie and Cece's room. I needed a step-stool to get up on the bed.

Loreth Anne White and I. She had to stoop to get down to my level. She's so tall and graceful.

Melissa McClone and I. She was so much fun - we talked about cats of course.

And last, but not least, The Shalvis and I. Look, even she's taller than me. I didn't realize how short I was until I stood next to these awesome ladies.

Spam Another Day

You can be with Cialis (I’d rather be with Hugh Jackman.)
Implements the basic functionality common to buttock control. (Huh?)
You’ve received a postcard from a neighbor! (“Will trade Bubba for alarm clock”)
Tirade (You haven’t heard a tirade if they don’t return Bubba!)
O’Clocks (Hold it, I have to find a shovel.)
Have herself Minneapolis. (Are you sure it’s not St. Paul?)
Recommended listing Lis (List her where? Minneapolis?)
Your neighbors have lost their alarm clock. (Yeah, and I’ve got Bubba.)
Do you want to be a better lover quickly. (Quicker isn’t necessarily better.)

Jason Evans is having another writing contest on his blog. The contest ends on Wednesday. If you don't enter, you should at least go over and read the entries - there's some good stuff there.

I'm Baaaaaaack!

I have my laptop again!!!! I am so happy I could sing and dance, if it wouldn’t scare the cats. Bebo’s friend Steve took about an hour before he finally slayed the internet beast. I don’t know what he did, but it sure worked. La da dee da da (I’m singing and dancing – the cats are running for the hills). Don’t you wish every trouble you had could be fixed in under an hour?

Speaking of problems, say a few prayers for Susie on Thursday. She’s going in for day-surgery to remove a polyp in her uterus. Let’s hope it’s benign.

Meanwhile, I want to know what you are reading. I’m reading Lush by Sasha White in ebook and Hands On by Amie Stuart in print. Come on, spill it, whatcha reading?

My Kingdom for a Router

So I bought a new router on Friday but my laptop won't connect to it for some reason. Bebo has a friend who is a computer tech and he's going to come and look at it this week. Which means I'm still stuck on this PC that even Bebo wanted to throw through the window. Have I told you that it's low on memory so it's slower than molasses? Meanwhile, my laptop just sits on the dining room table beckoning to me. It's sort of like looking through a window at a homemade cherry pie - you can see it, but it doesn't do you any good. I want to blog again. I need to IM! I'm so cut off that I might as well have no internet. Ooops, did I say that out loud? I didn't mean it computer gods.

Now, on the personal front. I'm still dealing with depression (no, really?!) and my endless need to sleep. Funny, I didn't have a problem with it at conference - so at least that proves that it isn't the medication making me sleepy. And no, it wasn't because I was busy - there was nothing for me to do on Wednesday except sit in one of the sitting areas and talk to people, so I sat there for hours - sometimes with people, sometimes alone. Never once wanted a nap. Work is going okay - I've almost quit smoking at work, that was step number one.

That's pretty much it for my Monday "Bailey Update". Hopefully we'll get the router taken care of this week and I'll be able to show you the pictures from conference. Y'all be good, and if you can't be good then tell me all about it.

Octaspammy

YOu can get a bigger erecttile member. (How? By adding a “t”?)
It can also add excitement. (It would only be exciting if it were Hugh Jackman)
But no, I won’t give it to you. (Well now I really want it.)
Let Thirty Plus Singles help you find your mate. (I don’t need help from over thirty people. Wait, maybe I do.)
Here’s another message from Ms. Wong. (I didn’t get the first one.)
Your neighbors have lost their alarm clock (Now they have their own personal messenger?)
You did it. That’s it. Cold. (Not cold, but you’re getting warmer.)
What makes your brain think you’re full? (could be that entire watermelon I ate.)
You don’t have to spend hugh amounts on travel. (I’ll spend whatever Hugh wants to give me.)

Funny Ads

These are advertisements that have appeared in papers across the country (or so we are led to believe)

- We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.

- For Sale -- Eight puppies from a German Shepperd and an Alaskan Hussy.

- Great Dames for sale.

- Have several very old dresses from grandmother in beautiful condition.

- Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it.

- Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.

- Vacation Special: have your home exterminated.

- If you think you've seen everything in Paris, visit the Pere Lachasis Cemetery. It boasts such immortals as Moliere, Jean de la Fontain, and Chopin.

I Don't Wanna Come Home!!

I had a really great time at National! I shared a room with Amie and Dennie, which was quite interesting. Saw some authors (Nora Roberts was everywhere), ate a lot of food, drank a little, attended some workshops, but most of all, I got to relax for the first time in months. It felt good, so good that I wasn't ready to come home and face reality. But here I am. I have met The Shalvis and she is just as kind and generous in person that she seems to be on-line. Loreth Anne White and I had dinner one night. She's also a lot like her on-line personality - completely charming. And I loved her accent. Had lunch with Melissa McClone and hung around a bit - she's a sweetie. We talked about our cats a lot. I missed my babies.

I have pictures, but I don't want to download them onto this computer. I'm going to try to get the router thing straightened out this week so I can get back on the laptop.

I am awfully tired, but once I rest up, I'm getting back to writing. The conference was invigorating and I feel that itch to write. Hope y'all had a good week. Missed ya!

I Don't Wanna Go!!!

So, I’m getting ready for National and I’m already nauseous. Agoraphobia rears its ugly head. It was time for a laugh, and Christa provided one. I thought I’d share. Talk to you next week!


A father put his three year old daughter to bed, told her a story and listened to her prayers which she ended by saying: "God bless Mommy, God bless Daddy, God bless Grandma and good-bye Grandpa."

The father asked, "Why did you say good-bye grandpa?" The little girl said, "I don't know daddy, it just seemed like the thing to do."

The next day grandpa died. The father thought it was a strange coincidence. A few months later the father put the girl to bed and listened to her prayers which went like this:

"God bless Mommy, God Bless Daddy and good-bye Grandma.."

The next day the grandmother died. Oh my gosh, thought the father, this kid is in contact with the other side. Several weeks later when the girl was going to bed the dad heard her say:

"God bless Mommy and good-bye Daddy."

He practically went into shock. He couldn't sleep all night and got up at the crack! of dawn to go to his office. He was nervous as a cat all day, had lunch sent in and watched the clock. He figured if he could get by until midnight he would be okay.

He felt safe in the office, so instead of going home at the end of the day he stayed there, drinking coffee, looking at his watch and jumping at every sound. Finally midnight arrived, he breathed a sigh of relief and went home.

When he got home his wife said "I've never seen you work so late, what's the matter?"

He said "I don't want to talk about it, I've just spent the worst day of my life."

She said "You think you had a bad day, you'll never believe what happened to me. This morning my golf pro dropped dead in the middle of my lesson!"

The Spy Who Spammed Me

Your neighbors lost their alarm clock. (I blame the caterpillars.)
It’s Suzanne’s “Girls Night Out” again, can you make it? (A night out with spam, wow, I’m under-whelmed)
But maybe it is better you don’t go. (You can’t tell me what I can and cannot do.)
Bossily (You ain’t seen bossily)
Await soliloquy (To be, or not to be … I decided not to wait.)
Won’t forget last night. (Were you out with Suzanne?)
With Penis Enlarge Patch your cock will win the beauty contest. (There’s a beauty contest for penises? Probably on the Fox network.)
Grimace (I’d like to see you do better.)
Grow your manhood. (Another use for Miracle Grow)
Do you want more money (About as much as I want Hugh Jackman.)

Psssst

Miss me?

I'm not back 100 percent. At first I thought it was the modem, but then Monday I got the bright idea to plug the cable into the modem directly instead of through the router. It worked. So it's the router, not the modem. I'll deal with that after conference next week. Meanwhile, I'm stuck on the PC which, if you are familiar with my PC woes, is not a good thing. No IMing, blogging, etc. I also am still experiencing modem problems between 8:30 p.m. and 8:30 a.m. - this has happened before and does eventually work itself out. So I'm stuck with this slow PC (not a lot of memory) until I buy the new router.

Have a happy and safe Fourth of July. While you're grilling and watching fireworks, don't forget to take a moment and think about the sacrifices that were made so you can enjoy the Freedoms that you do.