Monday, January 21, 2008

Monday, 'nuff said


Glitter Graphics & Comments


I made a mistake tonight. I went back and read all of the entries on my old Alzheimer's blog. I thought I could do it, you know it's been a year. I thought I could step back and read it dispassionately. That's what I get for thinking. I bawled like a baby. Why did I do it, you might ask. I received an email from someone who had come across the blog and who was looking for some answers. She is now the caregiver for her mother. I said what I could, then went back and read the blog. Just shoot me now.

I spent most of the day culling my books. I have two built-in bookshelves which I obviously can't take with me, so I needed to get rid of some books. Four boxes and two bags later, I'm done. No, the Shalvis Shrine was not touched. There is only one thing that would make me touch that - if Mrs. Hugh Jackman were to come over and say "I'll give you my husband for your Jill Shalvis books" I might have to think about it - long and hard. I love you Jill ... Oh, and there were also all those books I brought back from RWA intending to give them away on the blog. Then I realized I didn't have the money for postage ...

Did you know Bubba farts when I pick him up? Why did I tell you that - because everyone should be warned.

No YouTube today - thought I'd spare you.

Have a great Monday everyone.

30 comments:

Brandy said...

Aw, sweetie. I am so sorry. Memories have a way of sneaking up on us, even when we think we are finally ready to confront them.
Books and moving. I hear you. I've had to cull my books over the years since we've moved so often and it's a habit I've kept even after buying our house. It's hard to let them go. And NO ONE expects you to give up your Shalvis Shrine! *g*

I hope your monday starts fresh and continues nicely for you.

Shesawriter said...

(((Hugs))) Bailey

I have the same thing going on whenever I think of someone special to me. Thinking about this person is supposed to help me, but it only makes me more depressed, so I put those thoughts out of my mind. I don't know if I'll ever be able to deal with it. So I DO understand a little of what you're going through.

Bailey Stewart said...

Now it's five boxes. Sheesh.

No one, and I mean no one, touches the Shalvis Shrine.

Yeah, I know - I think I'll wait a little longer before I read them again.

Bailey Stewart said...

Thanks Tanya. I also think it's all wrapped up in leaving this house too. (((Hugs))) to you too.

raine said...

I know EXACTLY what you're going through. I don't think the sadness goes away...just eases with time.
{{{Hugs}}}, hon. Be gentle with yourself.

Bailey Stewart said...

Raine - most days I'm okay, I set myself up for that one. But all hugs accepted.

It's now grown to five boxes. Sheesh.

bebo said...

Five boxes is nothing... When I put everything in storage I had 20+ bpxes & sacks...

And I did the same thing you're doing wiht all those emails etc from when DH passed. I kept ALL of themn for 2+ yrs... finally had to just print them all out (that was a ream of paper - sorry trees) and put them in "his box". It never goes away, sweetie. But you do learn to live with it, and with all the things you've been thru.

Love the kitty playing on the blog... Looks like my Taz!

Bailey Stewart said...

'bout time someone said something about the kitty.

I know, like I said I think it was the combination of the journal entries and leaving this house.

I'm good today.

Kelly Boyce said...

I think after going through what you did, the memories will be difficult for awhile. There's no time limit on those things and some days are better than others. Hugs on dealing with it the best you can.

Bailey Stewart said...

Thanks Kelly. I'm really okay today - Bebo and I are going out to look at apartments (and I'm kinda excited about it), lunch and etc.

M said...

Hugs Bailey. Although I think it is good therapy to revisit the past, I'm sorry it was a little soon.

Good luck on finding a fabulous new pad ;)

Tori Lennox said...

*hugs* sweetie.

Siobhan said...

Sorry I haven't visited in a while. Busy. Then unwell. Better now. Love your YouTube cats and today's kitty. Sorry you've had a bad time with those memories. They'll never stop hurting but you'll find it easier to deal with them in time. (((Hugs)))

Melissa Marsh said...

Wow. That's a lot of books, Bailey!

Lots of hugs to you...

Scott said...

Just what you needed with everything you are going through. Sorry.

Shelley Munro said...

Yes, memories do have a way of sneaking up on us. It's okay to have good and bad days.

Ooh, I don't have a Shalvis shrine but I do understand. I love Jill's books.

Bailey Stewart said...

Thanks Lady M *gg* I do feel I have to test the waters every now and then.

Bailey Stewart said...

Thanks Tori.

Bailey Stewart said...

Siobhan, thanks for mentioning the kitty - I searched high and low for today's picture. I'm quite fond of it too. And thanks for the hugs. I'm sorry you haven't been feeling well - missed you.

Bailey Stewart said...

Melissa - it wasn't just books, there were also DVD's and CD's there too. Thanks for the hugs.

Bailey Stewart said...

Scott - really, I'm okay. I'm over the Cowboys loss - oh, you mean the mom thing ... *gg* I'm okay there too. Thanks.

Bailey Stewart said...

Shelly, thanks for dropping by. Yes, Jill's books are the best - and I really do have a shrine.

Lis said...

That's one cute cat :o)

Hope the apartment hunting went well!

Bailey Stewart said...

I thought it was cute too.

I'll tell you about the apartment thing on Wednesday.

catslady said...

I'm late but I'm glad you're feeling somewhat better now :) And of course I luv the kitty!

Bailey Stewart said...

I knew you would Jeanne. I luv it too.

Shirley said...

Hugs, Bailey. It's awful when the memories grab us, and even worse when we set ourselves up for it. But we do.

I love the kitty. :o)

Bailey Stewart said...

Thanks Shirley - I love the kitty too.

Yeah, I don't know why we set ourselves up, but we do.

spyscribbler said...

Hah! You're kidding? That is the cutest. Isn't it funny how cats farting can be cute?

Which reminds me of the first time my one baby pooped in the litter box. It was insane, but I think that's the proudest I've ever felt in my whole life, LOL.

(And *hugs* on the rocky trip down memory lane.)

Bailey Stewart said...

Yes Natasha, he does that every time - he hates to be picked up and held.