Tuesday, um, okay ...

In case you weren’t aware of it, it’s Tuesday night, which means I have to come up with a blog. Right. You see, that’s the hard part. I can’t think of anything. I’m still getting the apartment ready for Glenice’s visit this weekend (at which time, said apartment should be ready for picture taking). I have to start the big job search after that. Bubba is having a better love life than I am. And believe me, that sucks. Not only does he have his girlfriend Apryl, but now Taylor the Sex Kitten is after him. I don’t know how I feel about that. Bubba and loose women? Aidan and BooBear can’t seem to find girlfriends, which amuses Bubba because they’re considered the two beauties of the bunch and he’s, well, he’s Bubba the red-necked kitty. And he’s the one with a girlfriend. Go figure.

I hope you are having a wonderful hump day, and that everyone you love and care about are healthy and happy.

Here’s your YouTube laugh:

Just Wondering

Main Entry: blog
Pronunciation:
\ˈblȯg, ˈbläg\
Function: noun
Etymology: short for Weblog
Date: 1999
: a Web site that contains an online personal journal with reflections, comments, and often hyperlinks provided by the writer
— blog•ger noun
— blog•ging noun

Yep. That’s what ol’ Webster’s says. A website – yep, got that; online personal journal – um, not lately; reflections, comments and often hyperlinks provided by the writer. Yeah, right. We’re going to break that down further. But before we do so, I’d like to ask one little question. If the word blog is in the dictionary, how come when I type it into word that little squiggly “you spelled this wrong dummy” line appears under it?

Main Entry:
Web site
Function: noun
Date: 1992
: a group of World Wide Web pages usually containing hyperlinks to each other and made available online by an individual, company, educational institution, government, or organization

Hmmm, there we go with those hyperlinks. I’m an individual, and this is a World Wide Web page, so I guess in this case, blog is correct.

Main Entry:
jour•nal
Pronunciation: \ˈjər-nəl\
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English, service book containing the day hours, from Anglo-French jurnal, from jurnal, adjective, daily, from Latin diurnalis, from diurnus of the day, from dies day — more at DEITY
Date: 15th century
1 a: a record of current transactions; especially : a book of original entry in double-entry bookkeeping b: an account of day-to-day events c: a record of experiences, ideas, or reflections kept regularly for private use d: a record of transactions kept by a deliberative or legislative body.

Blah, de blah, de, an account of day-to-day events. Check. A record of experiences, ideas, or reflections kept regularly for private use. Ooookayyy, day-to-day: sort of, I mean Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Record of experiences: What experiences I do have because we know I’m really beyond boring. At this point, the definition seems to be right on the mark.

Main Entry:
re•flec•tion
Pronunciation: \ri-ˈflek-shən\
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English, alteration of reflexion, from Late Latin reflexion-, reflexio act of bending back, from Latin reflectere
Date: 14th century
6: a thought, idea, or opinion formed or a remark made as a result of meditation
7: consideration of some subject matter, idea, or purpose

Meditation? I don’t meditate. And I rarely put any consideration in my thoughts. I say what I mean without a lot of editing (you know, those four letter bad words).

So, we have a group of World Wide Web pages by an individual, where said individual shares their thoughts and feelings, opinions, ideas, etc. in a journal like fashion.

Yep, I’ve done that. Really. If you check back in archives I have expressed feelings. I have shared ideas. I have used hyperlinks like these. I have even … Oh heck, here’s a YouTube thingy instead.

Spam and Such

Which ones really work? We list the Top Penis Enlargement products! (I’ve seen a lot of lists in my lifetime. But this one beats 'em all.)
baileystewart’s naked video. (As produced by Wes Craven.)
Enlarge your dummy length. (My dummy is long enough as it is.)
Men and women FREE INTERNATIONAL SHIPPING. (You mean I can have Hugh shipped here for free? Wow!)
Her heaving bosom pics. (I got rid of those years ago. The heaving bosoms, not the pics.)
Then with a gentle look you took my hand. (That wasn’t me. Honest.)
I love bargain hunting here. (For spam, there are no bargains here.)
Success is a fish that is pulled from an ocean. (Not for the fish.)
“I don’t know” he’d get mad and yell: “_ why _ don’t you know?” ( _ because you _ didn’t tell _ me?)
Be a PORN star for a day. (Can’t I be one in lower case?)


Look, Bubba has a girlfriend. Her name is Apryl and she lives in Houston. Aren't they cute?



imikimi - Customize Your World


This is a better picture of Apryl:



Here's what she made for her MySpace page (the one of them together was done by her too)



She says that Bubba is a sexy orange kitty. Bubba?

Oh my

I'm supposed to do a blog post, aren't I? Sorry, I got involved in reading and then the ceiling in my bathroom began to leak and I had to wait for maintenance, and now I'm rambling. Yep, it's been a rambling kinda day. Let's see, pictures. Yes Susan, there will be pictures. As soon as I finish getting the apartment all together and that will be soon since I'm having company the 2nd through the 5th. So for Glenice, it will be done. And don't tell me not to worry about it either, missy. I want this apartment put together, I just haven't had the incentive to do it - now I do. You, plus the party. Plus I need to get new batteries as the rechargable part of these has plum worn out. But there will be pictures. Are you satisfied Susan (and Joan, 'cuz I know you're lurking out there). Alas, there were no pictures taken of my braids. Funny how I seem to get out of having my picture taken. There is one though that my friend Sunshine, from work, managed to take of me at the Irish Festival in March. Here, are you satisfied? At least my five chins aren't showing. Savor it, 'cuz it will probably be the last one you see unless I lose a few more pounds.

Check out this video: Cutest Kitten ever



Add to My Profile | More Videos

This and That

First, a message from Jason Evans:

Dear Blog Friends,

Thank you all for being an amazing part of my blog experience and The Clarity of Night!

I'm writing tonight to announce the grand opening of a companion blog. It’s a candlelit place called Night Conversations (http://nightconversations.blogspot.com/). Here's the concept.

In important parts of our lives, many of us struggle with feelings of isolation, of being misunderstood. Night Conversations is a place where anonymous participants spend a evening with me talking and delving into those feelings. No advice. No judgment. Just a person who wants nothing more than to listen and understand.

Stop over and share the first of the Night Conversations with me. If you like what you see, I'd be grateful for any mention, or even a review, that you would be willing to do on your own blogs. I'd love to see Night Conversations spread like a more personal version of Post Secret.

The comfy chair is open for anyone out there who like to participate. Thanks!

--Jason Evans

Not a whole lot going on with me. I seem to have become the MySpace page designer of choice. LOL First I did Bebo's, then the Jill Shalvis Fan Page, then my cat Bubba (yes, Bubba has a page, want to see it? Click here. Now remember, you don't have to be a member of MySpace to look at his page.) Then my two pages, yes two. One for me and one for Bailey. Now my cousin Joan wants me to design her page. Maybe I need to start charging. LOL

Here's a little video for your Monday. Please excuse the first scene, but the rest is great - especially the talking cats.

Double Stoked

And not because this was Heath Ledger's last movie (completed that is). I loved Batman Begins, have it in my collection.

Thunder and Spam

Hi sweety! Remember me? (Nope.)
What’s so funny? (Just the thought of me missing spam.)
Just you and my rubber duckie. (Don’t get that duck near me!)
Most popular jang enlargement (A rubber duckie can … wait, I don’t want to know)
Bebo showcases at SXSW! (She does what?)
Check out this huge ass. (She’s going to get you for that.)
Don’t look! (Make up your mind. First I’m supposed to check it out, then I’m not supposed to look. Sheesh.)
Your academic qualification expired. (They’ll have to pry that diploma out of my cold, dead hands.)
Remember youth. (Barely)
When I was your age, we had eight inch floppies. (I’m sorry. Maybe you need a rubber duckie?)

Stoked

I'm so excited and here's why:



I can't wait until May 22!!!!

I also have some great news (for me). I have a new car!! Well, not new, it's a 2000, but it's newer than the POS Mazda that I was driving and in much better shape. It was Bebo's car. Saturday, she bought a new one and I was able to buy her Saturn SL2 from her. It's grey/silverish and it has a CD player! Okay, I miss my moon roof, but hey, a CD player people!

So, what's up with you? Is there a movie coming out that you're really excited about?

Book Addict

My name is Bailey Stewart and I’m a book addict. For about 2 years I have been on the straight and narrow, like a good book addict should. But on Saturday, April 12, I fell off the book mobile. I went to Borders. I had a gift certificate from Christmas that I had saved to buy the new Jim Butcher book.



I was only going to buy it and a non-fiction book or two. Yeah, and an alcoholic is only going to have one drink. I ended up spending about $175. Yes you read that right. Of course, a few were hardcovers which do cost more, but still … It really all started a couple of days ago when I was having a conversation with a customer. Somehow the subject of my history degree came up and she asked if I’d read any good history books lately. Ummm, no? I haven’t touched non-fiction for a couple of years. So I decided to correct this and pick up a couple of non-fiction tomes. Yeah, and there’s nothing mentally wrong with Brittany Spears. I did buy some fiction other than the Dresden book: Annette Blair’s My Favorite Witch and The Scot, the Witch and the Wardrobe; Lucy Monroe’s Three Brides for Three Bad Boys; Barbara Pierce’s Naughty by Nature. Also, CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: In Extremis by Ken Goddard, and a novel about Robert Frost, who is my favorite poet.

But it’s the non-fiction that I’m looking forward to reading.

So, how about you? What book did you buy last? What are you reading now? What book are you most looking forward to reading? Fiction vs. Non-fiction?

Another Spam, Another Dollar

The biggest butt! (Excuse me? Yours isn’t much better fella.)
After you open this letter you will need to purchase big condom. (What’s in it, magic seeds?)
Be damn good in it. (That would have to be one large condom.)
It was said on TV and written in magazines. (Well it must be true then.)
Whip out a huge pecker. (Oh no, Woody gone wild!)
Your next timepiece will be your companion for life. (I think this was meant for my neighbors.)
What an ass! (My neighbors or my big butt?)
Hello, this is a job offer from LUGANO. (Got benefits?)

In Reality

My name is Bailey Stewart and I'm a reality show addict. Really. Reality. Who'da thunk. I live in a world of dreams and fantasy, creating stories in my mind, and yet ... I'm drawn to these shows. Tuesday night is no exception. I have American Idol, followed by the results show of Dancing With the Stars. And then, something I've been waiting for ever since I first saw it advertised ... Secret Talents of the Stars. Yikes! I cringe and yet at the same time I am utterly fascinated, sort of like when I'm channel surfing and pause at Jerry Springer. Why? Where do they find these people? But I digress, Secret Talents of the Stars. Like Danny Bonaduce has nothing else to do. Oh wait, he doesn't. Here's CBS' official blurb:

SECRET TALENTS OF THE STARS, a weekly celebrity talent show that reveals the unknown talents of sixteen well-known personalities. Each week, celebrities will compete in a tournament-structured format to determine who has the BEST unknown talent. Each performer on SECRET TALENTS OF THE STARS will fulfill his/her dream by practicing, and then performing live. Each performance will be critiqued by three judges - but it's the viewers who get to vote for the celebrity that has impressed them the most. Each week, the "Viewer Vote" will determine which celebrities move on in the competition, and who will go home.

Got it? Okay, here's the celebs and their talents:

Joshua Morrow from The Young and the Restless. He'll juggle. WhooPee! *sigh* Oh, wait! It's rock and roll juggling. Huh?

Cindy Margolis, an actress and model will do magic. Be still my heart ...

Sasha Cohen, Olympic figure skater is secretly a contortionist. Who'da thunk?

Ray Jones, Jr., a boxer who thinks he can rap. We'll see.

Bridget Marquardt, a Playboy Bunny. Guess what? She can bungee jump and jump on a trampoline. That's a talent?

Clint Black (the first one listed that didn't need any introduction) is a stand-up comedian. Country Western music about loving and losing vs. comedy. This could be interesting.

Danny Bonaduce, child star who can't seem to ... um, let go. He can ride a unicycle. Didn't anybody watch Dancing With the Stars on Monday? So can Adam what's-his-name.

Sheila E., one of the most talented percussionist/drummers in the music world. She's got rhythm, right? She can juggle too. Joshua or Sheila, who is better? Stay tuned to As the Stars Turn.

Wrestler Ric Flair salsa dances! Who? Sorry folks, not a wrestling fan. You'll have to turn to Lis for that one. Salsa? Oooookay!

Legendary Boxing champion Joe Frazier is going to sing R&B. Now, I am kinda looking forward to this. Stand-up comedy and singing - that's talent. Even Rap is a talent. Unicycle? Juggling - well, okay, yeah it takes a certain sense of balance, etc. but come on people.

Marla Maples, the ex-Mrs. Donald Trump. Talk about not letting go of their 15 minutes. What can Ms. Maples do besides look pretty? She can do gymnastics. And who said she wasn't flexible?

Jo Dee Messina. Talented Country Western Singer. There's a song of her's that I can't remember the name of, but I love it. Anyway, her talent is described as hip-hop meets step dance. What? Hmmm, could be interesting ... could be a disaster.

Mya, a singer I've never heard of, is going to do one of my favorites - she's going to tap dance. I love tap dancing. I have nothing sarcastic to say about this.

Ben Stein, who obviously is done giving away his money, is going to Swing Dance? Memories of Jerry Springer dance in my head.

Cosby alum, Malcolm-Jamal Warner (who I secretly think is kinda hot) - Original Song (Bass & Vocals). Now, that could be interesting.

And last, but not least ...

George Takei. Yes, Sulu. I'm surprised he's not doing comedy. Really. I saw him on Thank God You're Here (and if you never caught this one - it was funny) and he was hysterical. But no, what is the 71 year old Star Trekker going to do? Sing Country Music. In front of Clint Black and Jo Dee Messina. Brave soul. Or senility. You choose.

So there you have it - the cast of Secret Talents of the Stars. Now, unlike other celeb-filled reality shows (Dancing With the Stars included), this one actually has some real celebs instead of wannabes, has beens and "who?". Clint Black, Jo Dee Messina, Sasha Cohen, Joe Frazier, and Sheila E.

Yes, I am Bailey Stewart, and I will be glued to the tube at 9:00 pm cdt.

I found it! This is the song by Jo Dee Messina that I love

I'm toast

Bebo and I attended Scarborough Faire, a Renaissance Festival just south of Dallas. This is its 28th year and the first year I had attended. Bebo had gone in years past, but not for about the last 16. We'd been promising to go for around 14 and decided that this year we'd go. Was it fun? I spent the day with Bebo, bought some great stuff. But fun? Not better than the North Texas Irish Festival. I hurt. We were only on our feet for about 5 1/2 hours and they ache. I'm used to being on my feet for 7 1/2 hours and they have never hurt this much. They have these stone walkways - not gravel really, more like little garden stones, chunks here and there. Stepping on them not only made walking a little hazardous (you've stepped on a little rock and had your foot turn, haven't you?), but each step would thrust one of those little stones through my tennis shoe bottom. I probably have little bruises all over the bottom of my feet. And it was really kinda ... boring? While the NTIF has music everywhere, bands on stage almost every half hour in different venues throughout the area, Scarborough had some traveling musicians, or a single player singing outside of a shop. It was almost silent, except for the occasional shouts from the "barkers" and maybe a sword fight here and there. I did get my hair braided - it looks pretty. Too bad it won't last. Oh well, at least I can finally say that I've been to the faire, but I doubt I'll be going back.

Who said they made sense?

Is it you? (Were you expecting Hugh Jackman? ‘Cuz I was.)
Feeling Short? (Listen spam, start making comments about my height and this session is over)
CONGRATULATIONS YOU ARE A LUCKY WINNER!!! (As opposed to an unlucky winner?)
Lengthen your bell-rope and you will have sex with any girlfriend you want. (Listen Quasimodo, shouldn’t you be leaving other people’s girlfriends alone?)
I wanted to breakup another’s relationship. (Obviously)
I felt guilty (Why let that bother you now?)
I tore her clothes apart (Oh, I hate when that happens)
I felt like I owed it to the person (That makes perfect sense now. I always feel like I owe people tattered clothes)

Ouch

I'm having sinus problems and my head feels like it is going to explode, so no real blog today.

These are kittens taking their first steps. About how I was moving this morning.


A giggle


Awwwww


okay, see you at Friday Spamarama.