Spam is melting, it's melting ......

Ideas about holidays. (I think we’ll have them this year, thank you.)
Boy’s fingers frozen off. (In my day it was warts, but whatever works)
Is that possible? (Why don’t you keep it “up” and we’ll find out.)
Open or die in hell. (Open, open, open, open …)
Where the hell are you? (I didn’t open it?)
You will have watches to go with all your outfits. (I already do – mind you they have a little dirt on them ….)
Replace me tomorrow, okay? (Why? You’re finger’s freeze off?)
Please, don’t tell anyone. (They’re gonna find out – or do spam regenerate?)
Forget about dictionaries, we offer soft in different languages. (Zacht, doux, weich, morbido, macio, suave ….)
Ipod killed a man. (Put a gun against his head, pulled the trigger now he’s dead ...)
Lot’s of women will send him a kiss, so just imagine what you can miss. (A Spaniard’s kiss I may have missed, but an Australian’s lips can give me bliss … take that Dr. Seuss)
Spanish got married 60 times. (Wow, that’s some kiss – was his name Ramon Ortega de Young?)
We hope this information will help you make the right choice. (Yeah, if you kiss a Spaniard, your fingers will freeze off.)