Thursday, September 08, 2011

Foreign Relations

Dear Sir, (Minus 2 points)

We do not know each other, but you are the only person I sent this letter with hope to get a positive and sincere response, in order to go into a deal that would bring life fortune to both of us. (you want sincere from me?)

I am Barrister Richard Thomas Group of advocates, a solicitor. (you can say that again) I was the personal attorney to late Engr. Overtrump, who was a Contractor and has spent most of his life in my country (London & Spain). (London and Spain is one country now? Wow!!) On the 20th of August 2008, Overtrump, his wife Maria, and their only son Pedro, were involved in a plane crash by which the all occupants of the plane unfortunately perished. (Why isn’t there ever a fortunate perishing?) ( ). Since then I have made several enquiries in the France Embassy (Is France the new capital of London/Spain? And is the country called Lain? Spondon?) to locate any of my clients extended relatives (I’m way beyond extended) but all efforts was unsuccessful. After these several unsuccessful attempts, I decided to contact you (‘cuz Lord knows I’m not successful) and solicit for your assistance as a foreigner (Hey! Who you calling a foreigner, you foreigner) to execute the claim of his cash deposits with Natwest Bank London.

I have contacted you to assist in repatriating the assets and Capital valued at US$20.5million left behind by my client before they get confiscated or declared unserviceable (I hate being unserviceable) by the bank in London where these huge deposits was lodged. The said bank has issued me a notice to provide the next of kin or have the account confiscated within the next two months.

Since I have been unsuccessful in locating the relatives for over 2 years now, I seek the consent to present you as the Next of kin to the deceased (You mean, commit fraud?) since you share a common last name, (You don’t know my last name, you don’t even know my gender .. so there) so that the proceeds of this account can be paid to you. The request of a foreigner as the next of kin in this transaction is occasioned by the fact that my client was a foreigner (Yeah, he was from Splondon) and the money cannot be paid into a local bank here, so it will be better for you to stand as the next of kin to my client. (I’d rather sit, thank you) Therefore, on receipt of your positive response, we shall then discuss the sharing ratio and modalities for transfer. I have all necessary information and legal documents needed to back you up for claim.

All I require from you is your honest cooperation (Me? Oh yeah, someone has to be the honest one) to enable us see this transaction through. I guarantee that this will be executed (executed is right) under a legitimate arrangement that will protect you from any breach of the law. Please reply via e-mail; ( or call +447024098461

Best Regards,

Barr. Richard Thomas

Dear Richard Thomas,

How are the rest of the Waltons? I sure do miss your wonderful good nights.

I’m sorry, but because of relations with past foreign relations, I can not relate to you. This has been made mandatory by the officials (Bud and Ernie) of Mymindland. Mymindland does not, nor ever will have relations, foreign or domestic, with the country of Splondon. We find you insipid. And your grammar is bad too. But then I’m one to talk about that. Anyway, thank you so much for thinking about me, you have no idea how that made me feel.

Good luck with the next sucker, er, person on your foreign list. I’m sure that you will be able to locate someone soon. Have you tried California?

Sincerely (because you wanted a sincere response)



Alexa said...

LOL! Thanks for the laugh! (You know, instead of me doing my revisions....)

Bailey Stewart said...

Hey, it's your movie weekend ... *snort*

Brandy said...

The best part was your response letter. *g* I do have to wonder? Who the heck actually falls for these things?

Bailey Stewart said...

Brandy - sadly, people who have no education, whether self-educated or formal, who are naive, desperate, lonely, mental, etc. There are a lot of people out there who fall for these things. And I've seen some letters that were far more grammatically correct than this one ... ones that you had to really look at to see that it's a scam. (that, or you had to have lived in a cave and had never heard of these scams). Glad it gave you a giggle.

MK Chester said...

Brilliant :)

Bailey Stewart said...

Hey you! How was the wedding?

Susan, Super Earthling said...

While I believe all spammers & scammers should be shot (OMG, you have no idea how many of these were clogging my email when I returned from vacation!), this was such fun, Bailey!

I read an article recently in the AARP magazine (that I must have stolen from some old codger cuz I'm certainly not old enough to be on their mailing list) where this guy purposely corresponded with the foreign spammer. It was hilarious.

Susan, Super Earthling said...

BTW, Bailey--I think you had asked me on Twitter or maybe on my blog a while ago about which of my (*ahem* many--LOL) blog personalities to use for your blogroll. :D

Feel free to use this one (Super Earthling) and delete Daisy Dexter Dobbs because I'll be spending most of my time doing the SE blog from now on.

I'm still writing romance but no longer doing the erotic stuff. I may write under my DDD penname or use my own name--not sure yet :)


--Susan, Daisy, etc., etc... ;-)

Bailey Stewart said...

Duchess!!!! I bet it was funny .. I get such a kick out of reading them, someone ought to put them in one of those humor gift books. Okay, I'll take out DDD and add Super Earthling. As long as you aren't giving up writing romances.

Lis said...

lol Great response! :) And I especially loved Mymindland!