Monday, January 15, 2007

Feline Physics

Law of Cat Inertia - A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest, unless acted upon by some outside force - such as the opening of cat food, or a nearby scurrying mouse.

Law of Cat Motion - A cat will move in a straight line, unless there is a really good reason to change direction.

Law of Cat Magnetism - All blue blazers and black sweaters attract cat hair in direct proportion to the darkness of the fabric.

Law of Cat Thermodynamics - Heat flows from a warmer to a cooler body, except in the case of a cat, in which case all heat flows to the cat.

Law of Cat Stretching - A cat will stretch to a distance proportional to the length of the nap just taken.

Law of Cat Sleeping - All cats must sleep with people whenever possible, in a position as uncomfortable for the people involved, and as comfortable as possible for the cat.

Law of Refrigerator Observation - If a cat watches a refrigerator long enough, someone will come along and take out something good to eat.

Law of Electric Blanket Attraction - Turn on an electric blanket and a cat will jump into bed at the speed of light.

Law of Random Comfort Seeking - A cat will always seek, and usually take over, the most comfortable spot in any given room.

Law of Bag/Box Occupancy - All bags and boxes in a given room must contain a cat within the earliest possible nanosecond.

Law of Cat Embarrassment - A cat's irritation rises in direct proportion to her embarrassment times the amount of human laughter.

Law of Cat Disinterest - A cat's interest level will vary in inverse proportion to the amount of effort a human expends in trying to interest him.

Law of Pill Rejection - Any pill given to a cat has the potential energy to reach escape velocity.

Law of Cat Composition - A cat is composed of Matter + Anti-Matter + It Doesn't Matter.


Sundays wordage:

Written - 1,003.
Total - 6,507 (and boy were those last 14 words hard to do)

Still fighting the hacking cough and the dizzies, but I'm better.

21 comments:

Brandy said...

Sorry to hear you're not feeling well. Hope you are feeling better soon!
Loving the Laws of Cats!! True, all true. *G*

Meretta said...

LOL at the Laws of Cats! Too true!

YAYAYAY on the writing! Good job! You're making excellent progress. :D

Rest well and feel better soon.

raine said...

Glad you're feeling better & didn't get iced-down, hon.
And the cat stuff is spot-on, of course. How well I know it all, lol.

Brandy said...

Ooh, maybe one for cats and stairs too!?

Saskia Walker said...

The cat laws are so funny and so true! I hope you soon feel better. Great going on the word count!

Dru said...

Love the feling physics, it is so true. WTG on the word count. Hope you feel better soon.

Bernita said...

Yes, and then there's the Law of Hair Balls...

Bailey Stewart said...

Oh, we have ice. I can't get to my newspaper! How can I make it through the morning without my comics? But from what I understand, those across the Trinity River (waving at Cece, Dennie and Sandy) got it worse.

At the moment, I'm not feeling better, but I'm hoping that will clear up once I'm up for a while and the meds kick in. There's no way I can make it to a doctor this morning.

Marty said...

I'm sending the Laws of Cats to my mom, it'll make her day. Feel better soon!

Scott said...

I think I may have read those cat laws somewhere before. I'm happy that you have written so much. A thousand words is nothing to sneeze at. I'm at around 6K on my story effort, but it feels labored. I know what you mean about those last words!

Bailey Stewart said...

Yeah, I don't remember who sent these, but there are more.

I'm working on the 1,000 words a day while "training" myself to write every day no matter what. I'm hoping to work up to 2k by the end of the month. I've never been very disciplined in my writing, so this is a new concept for me.

6k is great Scott!

Michele said...

Oh, the last one truly cracked me up... great play on words.

Oooh, word count,keep 'em coming.

Glad the ice wasn't overwhelming the power lines... it's too cold to lose power. We have a wood insert stove too and it's yummy.
Going to bake some potatoes in it today...experiment. *grin*
Or burn them, won't know which.
:)

Happy Writing this Monday, Bailey and continue getting better!

Loreth Anne White said...

AHAHHAHHHAAA -- just love this!!

Talking of refrigerators, My cat, Brunswick was brought home as a kitten in the winter. Every time we opened the front door, he'd feel the blastt of frigid air and make a mad, blind dash in an effort to get outside before that door closed.

Then one day he was near when I opened the fridge door. He sensed the blast of cool air and some little swith went 'bing' in his brain -- he made such a mad dash into the fridge he reached the back, behind the lettuce, and I had to haul him out, claws dragging.
What a twit!

Get better soon, girl!

Devon Ellington said...

Law of Writing -- All cats must sprawl across the paper when human is focusing on writing rather than cat. Or, in the case of a keyboard, cat must place front paws on keys and type furiously, or hit the delete button and watch the human dance around, screaming.

Susan said...

Law of Cat Magnetism is my favorite and they are all so true. LOL

Hope you're feeling better before long. By the way, you can get your comics online.

Great word count keep it up. I'm cheering you on!

Toni Anderson said...

LOL--and great progress on the writing front. I must pull my finger out (where did that expression come from?) and get on ;)

Get better soon!!!

Melissa Marsh said...

Oh, hugs on feeling lousy, Bailey. But great job on writing!!!

Siobhan said...

Hahahaha. I love these. *vbg* The refrigerator one especially. My Sophie was branded a greedy guts at the cattery over Christmas. Sorry to hear you've got the dreaded lurgy too. Cough! cough! It's gone into my sinuses and boy was I a grouch today at school.

catslady said...

Oh my - still laughing and I'll vouch for every one of those. Loreth - funny story. The only good thing about the cat on the lap who won't move is I get a lot of reading done that way because I hate to disturb them. We're suppose to get some ice tonight but we've had good weather so I'm not complaining. Thrilled you're getting your writing in, Bailey, but hope you feel better soon.

Jill said...

Yay you on the writing. Now keep going!

Bailey Stewart said...

yes ma'am. *vbg*