Sunday, October 29, 2006

Moving Out

Not really, but I am moving from my bedroom into the master bedroom (hence Glenice painting). Friday was the day I moved The Shalvis Shrine. Permits were issued, and the police cordoned off the area. First the security system was turned off, the drawbridge was lowered over the piranha stocked moat, and the hounds of hell were leashed. Each book was carefully removed from the shelf, meticulously dusted off, laid carefully on the velvet pillow and escorted to the next room by a couple of buff Brinks Security guards. The slightly charred remains of the bear and goose effigies were moved and placed in their new cases. Next the voodoo dolls representing everyone who has ever criticized a Shalvis book, followed closely by the bobblehead dolls and the box of sacrificial Thin Mints. The portrait was easy, but the candles had burned down so that their wax adhered to the marble altar. Finally the Persian kneeling rug was laid out in front of the new shrine and the security systems re-engaged. What? Doesn’t everyone have a Shalvis Shrine?

26 comments:

Toni Anderson said...

I have met her and she's just as wonderful in person as she is on her blog. But thinner and better looking ;)

Hope the move goes well!!!!

ruby55 said...

Great description. Does everybody who comes in now have to bow before the Shalvis Shrine?

Oh, right, it's in your bedroom. I guess I was thinking of the lares and penates shrine the Romans had in the entrance to their homes.

And yes, such a solemn occasion needs a blog all to itself. I bow my head in honor.

Hope the rest of the move goes just as well.

catslady said...

You two have the same sense of humor :)

Jill said...

LOL. I'm speechless. But I do feel like kissing Toni.

Bailey Stewart said...

FBA - I'm not talking to you. *snort* 2007 is my year!

Ruby - To be honest, the first time Glenice came to visit, I made her go into the room and bow in front of the shrine.

Jeanne - the check is in the mail.

Jill - don't we all?

Brandy said...

You are hialrious!! Does "the Shalvis" know about the sacrificial thin mints? 'Cause maybe you could have sent them to her instead!

Bailey Stewart said...

She does now ...

Brandy said...

Ooops! Sorry if I spilled the cookies.

Bailey Stewart said...

Honey, you didn't, I did. Look a couple of comments up - Jill's been here. And she can come eat the thin mints any time she wants to.

Crashing now folks, have a great evening and wonderful Monday.

Lis said...

Sounds like a beau-ti-ful shrine :o) I especially liked the touch of moving the books on a pillow *thumbs up*
And now that you mentioned cookies, I'm hungry.

Meretta said...

I'm chuckling and laughing, Bailey. You painted a perfect visual!

Jill said...

I'm on my way for the mints.

Stacy Dawn said...

LOL...so glad you're back and in full Bailey mode!!

Susan said...

Bailey isn't kidding, never and I mean NEVER joke about 'The Shalvis Shrine'! And if you're starting one of your own do not tell her. ;)

Bailey Stewart said...

Blogger isn't telling me when y'all are posting, so I have to keep coming by and checking. Sheesh.

Jill - don't hurt yourself trying to get here. LOL

Susan - you've got that right kiddo!

Okay, my adrenaline rush of last week is evaporating, so I'm going to sleep for a while.

Devon Ellington said...

Hey, whatever altar you need to get through the day -- do it! ;)

I have a Creativity altar - and, when I move, I'm doing a special section for some of my favorite writing foremothers: Harriet Beecher Stowe, Louisa May Alcott, Virginia Woolf, Emily Dickinon, Jane Austen, Charlotte Bronte, Edna St. Vincent Millay!

Jordan Summers said...

LOL! Too funny. I hope you're comfortable in your new room.

Siobhan said...

ROFL! Very funny, Bailey. Can just picture it. :-) Hope the rest of the move goes well. Take care now!

Melissa Marsh said...

LMAO!!!!

Kelly said...

Too funny! I haven't read any of her, but after hearing how shrine worthy she is, I might just have to check her out!

Bailey Stewart said...

*Gasp* You.haven't.read.any.Shalvis? And I let you on this blog ... why? LOL

You really ought to Kelly, she's funny, her characters are quirky without seemingly too out of the realm of possibility; the love-stories are wonderful. And I don't refer to her as the sexpert for nothing.

I'd recommend Aussie Rules, Get a Clue or Her Sexiest Mistake. She also is in an anthology that's currently on the USA Today bestseller's list The Night Before Christmas, with Lori Foster, Erin McCarthy, et al.

Um, do I sound like a publicist?

Dennie McDonald said...

The Shalvis shrine - hmmm... mine would have to be of a certain country crooner.... hehehe

Toni Anderson said...

:D Pass the mints ;)

Carol said...

Kelly, you have to read Jill's books! You will love them! I have some but I need to get more! lol

Brandy said...

"Get a Clue" is one of my favorites of te Shalvis. I mean how can you not like a book where a glowing vibrator is used as a flashlight? *g*

glenice said...

Oh you moved the shrine!!! I thought it would take over the spare room!!!!

Yes, I bow to the Shrine :)