Thursday, October 26, 2006

They're Baaaaack

Just when you thought it was safe to return to blogland. (Cue Theme from Spam. What? You don’t know the Theme from Spam? Same music as the Theme from Jaws, except instead of singing “da da da da” you sing “irritate me, irritate me”.) Now sing it with me. Susan, keep up sweetie. Christa, a little louder dear. Brandy, leave Michele alone. Ahhhh, it’s so nice to be back. Hey, now cue Hello Dolly! Except sing “Hello Bailey” instead. Toni honey, quit laughing.
Spread the word - Spam is back in town!

The Return of Spamarama

My dear. (Yes darling?)
Don’t know where to buy me dic ations. (Don’t look at me. I don’t know where to buy your dic ations either. I’m not sure what dic ations are anyway.)
Can it be? (Yes, it’s spamarama.)
If I did not think. (You wouldn’t be.)
Miss you and need you. (Thanks, I missed you too. Not!)
To buy or not to buy. (That is the question.)
Can’t stand sex all night long. (No, I like to lie down every once in a while.)
Characterize luridly. (Oh, I’m good at that.)
Me penis has gone from 3.5 inches to just over 6” and is still growing. (And you’re telling me this because? Hey wait – can I interest you in the Eiffel Tower, or an extra leg?)
Anything else you need? (Nope, well maybe a nekkid muse or two.)
Wanna hold a brick on your dick? (Not really. Talk to the 6” dick)
Need some help? (No, it’s all coming back to me now.)
Is this as good to you as it is to me? (Oh, much better, I’m sure.)
Wanna last longer in bed? (I did sleep until 7:00 this morning, but 8:00 would be better.)
Hunter attacks critics exCanary. (Now this bothers me on several levels. What type of gun would you use to hunt a Canary? And does this mean that the canary no longer belongs to the critic? Or does it mean that the creature is no longer a canary? And if it isn’t a canary, what was it when the deranged hunter attacked it? Why would the hunter attack it? Was the critic criticizing hunters?)

I can’t promise a post every day, but I’m going to do spam every Friday. Just keep checking in, you never know when I’ll pop up. You can take that as a promise or a warning, whichever you prefer.


Brandy said...

Yay! Spamarama is back and funnier than ever! Missed you.

raine said...

...Me penis has gone from 3.5 inches to just over 6” and is still growing.

So is your nose. Liar.
("Hello, Bailey"!) ;-)

Scott said...

Hi Bailey!

I hope this finds you well. I'm starting to forget how this whole thing works. Just saying hi, and, *cough*Romo*cough*.

Tori Lennox said...

It's great to see you back, Bailey!!!

Hunter attacks critics exCanary

Did he attack critics AND the exCanary? They need to be more clear on this!

christa said...

I'm just reading a book where a lady has a hat that is a bird cage and there is a canary in it. Her biggest worry is if the canary poops on her head. Her cats seem to be following her around intently though.

I think I'm coming down with a cold. I've got that fuzzy head feealing(so if i say something don't hold it against me), it feels like I have an elephant sitting on my chest(the pesky thing will not let me get up and get dressed and he always likes being covered with a blanket.) I think I'm drowning in Neo Citron, tea and chicken soup. I think nekkid muses would make me feel better when you get them.

Susan said...

Okay, I'll try to keep up. :-7

What a treat you have given us with hilarious Spamarama!

catslady said...

Oh glad to have spam friday back and YOU!

Toni Anderson said...

I'm not allowed to laugh? But its funny!! Great to see you back, sweetie.

Lis said...

lol good to see you and spamarama back :o)

Carol said...

Glad your are back Bailey! We missed are Spamarama and we missed chatting with you!

Carol said...

Of course, I meant "our"! :)

Michele said...

Hey, this is funny SPAM! But wait, No CLOCK?!!!

They're slipping!
Or Cured.

Welcome back, Bailey!!
Glad to see the sense of humor is healthy and full of steam

Deana said...

Ah well it is nice to see spamarama back in business. Hope things are it strange being alone. Maybe you will be able to make so many changes in the house that it doesn't seem strange at will be your own world now.

I do want to see the penis holding a brick up!

Sandy J said...

So glad you are back, Bailey!!!!
And happy you will continue spamarama!

ruby55 said...

Thanks so much for the chuckles and laughs. Your spam really is weird. I could never think of any of these comebacks.

I'm glad you felt up to doing this--for your sake. Do not feel as if you must now blog every day. It's still your time to rest and get caught up on a lot of things.

So I'll still send you hugs, best wishes and prayers to keep you company. Hope the cats are behaving. How many are there now?

Hope the muses come soon--nekkid or not.

Loreth Anne White said...

Helloo Bailey, well hellooooo, Bailey ... how nice to have you back where you beloooong!!

Okay ... I've never been able to sing. But I try :-/

Seriously, it's good to see you back. And seriously spanarama-ing :) Nekkid muses will no doubt follow ...

Dennie McDonald said...

spam spam spam spam - think Monty Python...

Olga said...

Yes! Spamarama is back! I've missed it! But most importantly, you're back!

Siobhan said...

Yey! Our very own Spamalot is back. Big hugs (((Bailey))) and a rousing "It's nice to have you back where you belong." I'll keep popping in to see you but "no pressure" okay? You look after yourself; take things slowly now and that's an order! ;-)

Marty said...

Anything else is a lousy substitute. I missed the clock as well...but not in a literal sense, like I missed you :)

christa said...

I'm reading At the Texan's Pleasure, a December 2006 book by Mary Lynn Baxter and the h name is Molly Stewart Bailey.

ruby55 said...

Hey, Bailey, did I mention that you have a whole bunch of Stewart relatives here? Including my sister Marlis and her brood? You should come and meet them sometime.

I hope you're already sleeping soundly.

Hugs and prayers.

Sigrun Schulz said...

I completely forgot. We get an extra hour to sleep tonight.

Oct. 29 Marlis and Jamie Stewart's wedding anniversary #29.

Oct. 30 As my mom said, she usually got the extra hour back for her birthday. Monday would have been her 87th.

It's after 1 a.m. EDT, 12 a.m. EST. That's probably what the people I can hear outside are going by.

Hmm. That "Hunter attacks critics exCanary" is definitely a grammatical failure all around. And the guy who writes "Me penis..." is that like saying "Me Tarzan..."?

Even spelling check doesn't like "exCanary".

Stacy Dawn said...

Yaaayyyy Sparama and Bailey are back!!!!

Shirley said...

Yah! Spamarama is back. And Bailey is back and on good form. Lovely to see you back. We all missed you.

Shirley said...

Yah! Spamarama is back. And Bailey is back and on good form. Lovely to see you back. We all missed you.

Shirley said...

Duh! It took me three attempts to post a comment (did I ever tell you that Blogger hates me?) and now it puts it there twice. I think I should just give up with technology...