Dr. Jeckyl and Mr. Spam

Bring her to Seventh Heaven. (Can’t, it’s been canceled.)
We represent (The lollipop guild)
You are young and strong but helpless in bed? There is s way out! (I just move the cats)
Your wife will notice that for sure. (The only thing I can be sure of is that I would notice if I had a wife)
Secrets to being huge and thick unveiled. (That’s no secret – eat!!!!)
Hi sweety! Remember me? (I try to block out unpleasant things)
If not now, when? (Um, how about never?)
Do you love me or not? (NOT!!)
Our neighbors lost their alarm clock. (Hush, I’m trying to dig here.)

The picture? That's Dr. Frankenaidan!!!!

Hope you all have a safe and happy Halloween!!!

Wednesday, Wherefore Art Though Wednesday

You know I could sit here and stare at this screen forever and still not have something to blog about. Well, except for the excitement I had Tuesday morning. I’m already running about 5 minutes late when I yanked open the front door this morning, only to have a sheet of paper fall to the ground. Usually I just glance at them and toss them on the table near the door and go on my way. For some reason that morning I really looked at what I held in my hands. Yep. Panic time. Jeanne, you really don’t want to leave yet, it does get better. I think. Anyway the apartment complex was doing maintenance that day and would be coming by to change the a/c filter. OMG. I don’t think I’ve shown a picture of my office set-up yet, so I’ll try to describe it. I’m using the dining room, a small area off of the kitchen. On one wall is the a/c whatchamacalit; the panel thing with the cold air intake. My desk slides up against it on one side. It only covers the last two slots of the vent. I then have some shelves on the desk. These have no backs, so by leaving the bottom one empty the a/c intake vent is clear and does its job. Did I mention that it’s all on carpet? Did I also mention that my father made this desk and it is solid wood? Didn’t think so. Wake up Brandy, it’ll be over soon. I quickly pulled the shelves off of the desk, scattering parts of the set-up throughout the room and into the living room. Then I looked at the desk. How in the world was I going to move it? If you grab onto the top of the desk to pull, it lifts up. I don’t know what’s going on there, but it made it impossible to pull on the only viable part of the desk. Great. Next I moved the PC and monitor off of the desk as they are a bit heavy. At this point it was around a quarter to 9. Did I mention I have to be at work by 9? Did I mention it takes me about 15 minutes to get there if the lights are fond of me that day? Didn’t think so. I stared back at the mammoth white elephant in front of me. Swan? This is more important than that business call, put the phone down. Where was I? Hmmm, oh, the desk! Thank you Christa. So I stood looking at the desk wondering how in the hell I was going to move it. I really hate this desk, but my father made it. So I’m sentimentally attached to it. But I hate it. Really. So, with the top of the desk out of the equation, that only left the bottom. The desk was a little lighter without the PC and monitor so I was able to lift it a little and “walk” it forward a little bit. Repeat on the other side; back and forth I went until it was out far enough that I could walk behind it. Susan, that blog isn’t as interesting as this one, get back here. It was now approximately a quarter after 9. Did I mention that I get paid by the hour? And did I mention that I’m running out of money, so every dollar is valuable? Didn’t think so. I ended up being a half hour late for work. Thankfully I’m working with someone else who has a key to the store or they would have been up a creek without a keyboard. Or something like that. That was my Tuesday. The a/c filter has been changed, but no longer looks exactly flush against the wall. This could be interesting …. Hi Raine!!

Oh, the picture? That's Tramp and the Halloween picture I made for him.

There's a Method to my Monday

As I’m sitting here another cold front is moving in. Tomorrow should be great temperature wise – 45 in the morning, 65 for the high. These are the temperatures that I enjoy the most. Pants, flannel shirts, flannel sheets, snuggling down into the blankets. Piling the bed with lots of blankets, the room so cold you could see your breath – I sleep better when it’s cold. I’m really not much on turning on the heat – only for a shower, or to protect the pipes – I’d much rather snuggle. I have more energy the colder it gets; you could almost say that I come alive when the temperatures drop. I do have a seasonal disorder, just not the one you hear so much about – the winter blues. Nope, I have the summer time blues (isn’t there a song there somewhere?). If I sweat when I move, I don’t like it. LOL

What about you? What’s your favorite temperature – and why?

Another picture that I made. This is Monster Cat, and this is his Halloween Picture.

Rocky Horror Spam Show

Genuine Passion, Genuine Joy. (Fake boobs, male enhancements)
We’re just starting. (Wake me when it’s over.)
The aim of this message is to help you achieve better health. (No, the aim of this message is to get me to spend my money. I ain’t stupid … )
Watches alert! (Why? Have they been stealing time?)
Do you know what chicks like? (Hmmm, let me think … seed?)
Is this correct? (According to Wikipedia.)
What every woman wants from their man. (A credit card with no limit?)

Oh, that's Aidan at the right end, with his friends Monster Cat and Zeke. Yeah, I'm silly.

It's a Conspiracy

Hmmm, it’s Wednesday again. Wasn’t it Wednesday this time last week? And the week before? Can’t we be more original than that? I mean, the same days of the week over and over again. This is getting boring. I make the following suggestions. Monday will now be HughJackmanday; Tuesday will be GeorgeClooneyday; Wednesday can now be referred to as Giveusamilliondollarsday (I like that a lot more than Wednesday); Thursday, chocolatewithnocaloriesday; Friday can become flipyourbossthefingerwithoutgettingfiredday (I know, a little cumbersome, but it’s a nice thought); Saturday becomes noacneday; and Sunday will forever be myteamwillnotloselikethecowboysdidday. Simple, right? And not so ordinary and mundane the way we have it now. Whoever named the days of the week so many eons ago did not in any way have an imagination. Do you think that God would have named them after Greek gods and such? Nope, He would have named them Redroseday, Rainbowday, Babydeerday, babieslaughday, and, well, you get the idea – Sunday would have been lovethyneighborday. We’ve even had to go so far as to give them nicknames to make them more interesting. Hump Day, Thirsty Thursday, TGIF!!!!! It’s really bad when you have to spell it. And what’s with these months and seasons? Here in Texas, Spring should be renamed Dontblink. Fall will be Sneeze, Winter can be Notlongenough and Summer, well, we’re in Texas right? Summer would be the Hell Season. Yeppers. I just think we could have done a much better job of naming things. Giraffe? Hippopotamus? Don’t get me started on those.

Yep, it’s definitely Ramblingday …….

Oh, the picture? That's Bubba on a date with a kitty named Cookie ...

OH NO, I ALMOST FORGOT!!!!!

About to close down the computer and get to bed when I remembered that it was Sunday night and I hadn't done the blog post yet. Can we all say "OOPS"? So I searched my emails and found this one from both JJ and Bebo. Hope you enjoy. And yes, this was one of my inspirations for Bud and Ernie.




Subject: If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today . You have to be old enough to remember Abbott and Costello, and too old to REALLY understand computers, to fully appreciate this. For those of us (like me) who sometimes get flustered by our computers, please read on...

If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous sketch, "Who's on First?" might have turned out something like this:

COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO: Thanks, I'm setting up an office in my den, and I'm thinking about buying a computer.



ABBOTT: Mac?





COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.





ABBOTT: Your computer?




COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.



ABBOTT: Mac?



COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.



ABBOTT: What about Windows?



COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?



ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?



COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows?



ABBOTT: Wallpaper.





COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.

ABBOTT: Software for Windows?





COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business

. What do you have?



ABBOTT: Office.



COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?



ABBOTT: I just did.



COSTELLO: You just did what?



ABBOTT: Recommend something.



COSTELLO: You recommended thing?



ABBOTT: Yes.



COSTELLO: For my office? ABBOTT: Yes.



COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!

ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.



COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?



ABBOTT: Word.



COSTELLO: What word?



ABBOTT: Word in Office.



COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.



ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.



COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?



ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue "W".



COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue "w" if you don't start with some straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?



ABBOTT: Money.



COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?



ABBOTT: Money.



COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?



ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.



COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?



ABBOTT: Money.



COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?



ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.



COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?



ABBOTT: One copy.



COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?



ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.



COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?



ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!



A few days later.



ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?



COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?



ABBOTT: Click on "START".............

The Spammy Returns

Iva debt (Iva debt too!)
I meet and chat with you. (Sorry, my calendar is full …)
From stunning Brunette (Oooooh, Hugh!!!)
You are what you wear. (Now you tell me …)
Woman hunt movie (That Sarah Palin, she’ll hunt anything)
Salute (No, a bow will do)
Doctor’s secretly recommend you this store (Is the store that embarrassed?)
Old secret manner to solve your passion problem (Tried that, it doesn’t work)
Don’t you agree to be sick! (I’ll try not to if you agree not to make me sick)
Confirm your order! (Okay, okay all ready, I’ll confirm that I want you to bow!!!)

Calendar Says Wednesday, but That Has to be Wrong

Wow! It’s Wednesday already? Gadzooks this vacation has gone by fast and my hand isn’t near ready to go to work on Thursday. The butterfly strips are holding on fast, so that means I’m going to have to wrap the hand in gauze to keep it completely sealed in that dirty, dingy bookstore. Sheesh.

Tuesday went by rather quietly. I didn’t do a lot, just some photoshopping to keep my mind off of things. Can you see Bubba in the picture above? Of course you can, ya can’t hide that orange body. This is another contest entry, like the two before. This program that I’m using is free and it’s called GIMP. You can download it – I think its GIMP.com, but check, you probably can find it if you Google GIMP. It’s an easy program to learn; I’m still in the amateurish stage, but I’m having fun with it.

We are going to have great weather on Wednesday, well except for the rain maybe. The temps will be more fall-like. Sometime in the afternoon we’ll creep to the mid-70s, and then a cool front will come in and the temps will drop into the 60s by evening. It will be a perfect day to turn off the A/C and open windows.

Can you believe it’s the middle of October now? I do love this time of year but it’s also my most melancholy; the holiday season. Not to mention mom’s birthday in November. Bebo wants to have Thanksgiving at her apartment. Don’t know if anyone else will make it (friends) or if it will be another Thanksgiving with just the two of us. Oh wait, I spent Thanksgiving alone last year, so having it with just Bebo will be an improvement.

Here I am talking about Thanksgiving and we haven’t hit Halloween yet. Who do I think I am, a department store? Halloween, my first in an apartment. I don’t know how much trick or treating is done here; there are a lot of kids in the complex. So I guess I’ll buy candy – I will either have to buy something I don’t like so I won’t eat it before Halloween, or at least throw in a bag for me.

So, what are y’all up to? Anything exciting, titillating, mysterious, adventurous – come on y’all, you know I live vicariously through you!

Have a great Wednesday, thank you so much for the wonderful comments yesterday – I appreciated them more than you can know.

I miss you mommie

November 15, 1928 - October 14, 2006

I thought of you with love today ,,,


but that is nothing new,


I thought about you yesterday and days before that too.


I think of you in silence I often speak your name,


all I have are memories and your picture in a frame...


Your memory is my keepsake ~with which I'll never part ~


God has you in His keeping~I have you in my heart."

Author Unknown

We'll look at Bev from both sides now

So on October 3 I had to take Bebo for some tests – an endoscopy (sp?) and a colonoscopy. The title of this blog? That’s what the anesthesiologists sang to Bebo (whose real name is Beverly) as she was going to sleep. LOL It was pretty funny. We (the nurse and I) had quite a time trying to get her to wake up. I knew she was coming out of it when she called me a bitch. Yeppers, that’s my Bebo. And it was that sort of a day. On the way over to her apartment that morning I passed the CVS Pharmacy. They have one of those, ohhh what are they called, um, marquee signs out front advertising their specials. There is was, Flogers coffee. Yep, the best part of waking up is a flogging with your cup. We laughed about that for a good couple of days. The results of the tests - the good news is that there isn’t any cancer or anything; the bad part is that they still don’t know what is causing her anemia. So now she has to have one of those tests where she swallows the camera/pill and they take pictures.

I got the stitches out Sunday morning. They had already begun falling out on their own anyway. The wound is still gaping a little, so the doctor put on butterfly strips and I have to keep the hand pretty immobile (like that’s going to happen) until the strips fall off. I hope they do so before Thursday as that’s when I return from my vacation. It’ll be hard to keep the area sanitary in that dirty store if the wound isn’t closed.

That’s really all there is – I know, you can hardly contain your excitement over my full and vivacious life!!

Oh, and can you find Aidan in the picture above? You can click on it to make it larger, I think. LOL

I miss you daddy

May 31, 1922 - October 11, 2000

Spamenstein

do u need Good pay job?? (no, I need those low paying ones)
I absolutely love you! (Are you sure?)
Here (What? Has it had its shots?)
Leg craps (I’d see a doctor about that – and quick.)
Muhhaahahahahahahahaha (It wasn’t that funny.)
Titanic dimensions without much effort. (But the Titanic sank … )
From Susie (Leave her out of this, will ya? And she’ll tell you that it sank too. Haven’t you seen the movie?)
Oxygen debt (Oh great! What other kind of debt can I get into? No, don’t answer that. Is there a bailout?)
Debt advice (Don’t take another breath until you can pay for the last one?)
Don’t allow ladies to offend you (Wonderful! See, I’m not paranoid ….)
Say I can have sex all night long. (I can have sex all night long … Sorry, didn’t work. Are there Ruby Slippers involved?)




Pssst Can you see BooBear in the picture above? Look closely ....

Wisdom of Larry the Cable Guy

Hand is pretty sore after work today. Luckily, I've started vacation, so don't have to go back until next Thursday!

1. A day without sunshine is like night.

2. On the other hand, you have different fingers.

3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

5. Remember, half the people you know are below average.

6. He who laughs last thinks slowest.

7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.

9. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.

10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

11. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.

12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.

13. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.

14. OK, so what's the speed of dark?

15. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

16. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

17. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?

18. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

19. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?

20. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

21. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, 'What the heck happened?'

22. Just remember -- if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.

23. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

24. Life isn't like a box of chocolates. It's more like a jar of jalapeno's. What you do today, might burn your butt tomorrow.

I didn't see this in the cards

If you are here before Bebo comments, please come back and read it. She will explain the title of this post, as well as the fact that I have 4 stitches and it hurts to type.

START WITH THE TITLE EXPLANATION BEBO

In the mean time, enjoy this little video. See you Wednesday.

Goat yells for his mom - in English

I've Got Your Number

Still not quite up to Spam snuff, so here's something that I found interesting. I'd like to know what you come up with. For me, I used Bailey Anne Stewart.

How Numerology Works

When working with a name, numbers have corresponding letters. The numbers are added up and broken down into single digits in order to give you your final Destiny Number.

The Number Assignments

1= A, J, S
2= B, K, T
3= C, L, U
4= D, M, V
5= E, N, W
6= F, O, X
7= G, P, Y
8= H, Q, Z
9= I, R

How to Find Your Destiny Number

Write down your full name (first, middle, and last). This is the name you were given at birth—not your married name, etc.
Using the table above, write down the number matched to each letter in each name (i.e. BAILEY = 2, 1, 9, 3, 5, 7).
Add the numbers together for each name (i.e. 2+1+9+3+5+7= 27).
You will most likely get a double digit for each name; break down each double digit number you get by adding the first and second digit to get one number (i.e. from the 27 above, add together 2+7 to get 9, which is the number for my first name).
Add up the final numbers you get from each name (i.e. my middle name number is 7 and my last name number is 7, so 9+7+7 =23).
Once again, break down any double-digit numbers into one digit to get your final Destiny Number (i.e. from the 23 above, add together 2+3 to get 5, which is my final Destiny Number).

In numerology, the basic vibrations are numbers 1 through 9, but the numbers 11 and 22 are master numbers and should not be reduced to a single digit since these are master vibrations.
There are plenty of books and Web sites that will give you a thorough analysis of your Destiny Number, but here’s a basic rundown on what your Destiny Number means for you:

1 is determined, autonomous, and self-reliant
2 is loyal, tactful, and analytical
3 is passionate, positive, and fun-loving
4 is sensible, traditional, and serious
5 is bold, temperamental, and sensual
6 is responsible, cautious, and domestic
7 is spiritual, unconventional, and somewhat reclusive
8 is money-oriented, assured, and authoritative
9 is versatile, compassionate, and worldly
11 is enlightened, deep, and high-strung
22 is ambitious, a global planner, and motivated

So Bailey Stewart is bold, temperamental, and sensual. Yeah, I can live with that. My real name number is 9. What I find fascinating is the first line in the linked page for number 9: With a Destiny number of 9 you are meant to bring charity, beauty, art, romance and perfection into the world. Wow, I'm meant to bring art and romance into the world. I can live with that too.

So, what's your number?

Oh Pain What a Wednesday It Be

Hello bloggers
Hello lurkers
Here I am again
Going beserkers
While my muses
Are in the tropics
I’m stuck looking
For a topic.

What’s she doing?

Writing her blog.

Shouldn’t she have her hands on the keyboard?

Technicalities, technicalities.

So Bud, what did you do this summer?

Skied in the Alps, ran with the bulls, paraglided off the cliffs in Mexico. What about you Ern?

Oh, I had two corns removed and a bikini wax.

That’s it?

They were huge corns.

I don’t even want to know about the bikini wax.

Brazilian.

Thank you for that picture.

Where did all of these cobwebs come from?

Place has been empty for a while.

Whoo, you mean no one’s been home?

Nope, but they left this light bulb going.

Kind of dim.

Why are you out of breath?

Had to take the stairs.

What about the elevator?

Wouldn’t go all the way to the top.

Maaan, this head is getting to be a bit run down.

You’re telling me. I think that’s grass growing in her ears.

Notice something?

I notice a lot of things.

None of them important.

What?

She only pulls us out when she has nothing to blog about.

You mean we’re a crutch?

Yep.

Does that mean her brain is broken?

There are some that think so.

Well I love her.

That’s ‘cuz your brain is broken too.

Hey! I resemble that remark.

Ern?

What Bud?

Tell the nice people to have a good day.

What nice people?

The ones reading this.

You mean there are people out there?

So they say.

Can they see me?

No, you’re just a voice to them.

Good, ‘cuz my wax is growing back.

Ernie, are you nekkid again?

Yeppers.

*sigh* Have a nice day Ernie.

You have a nice day too Bud.