If I'm Dead Tired it Must Be Friday

I'm too tired to think up something new, so here's a re-cycle from my 360 blog (and maybe bravenet, but I'm just too tired to figure that one out). Anyway, it's from Loony Laws and Silly Statutes, Sheryl Lindsell-Roberts, Sterling Publishing Co., Inc., New York, 1994. These are actual laws which were still on the books as of 1994. Once again, bold is me because I just can't help myself.

In Kansas, it is illegal for eateries to serve ice cream on cherry pie. (In some places, not to do so would be blasphemy)

Xenia, Ohio, has made it illegal to spit in a salad bar. (And people wonder why I don’t like to eat salad.)

In Dyersburg, Tennessee, it is illegal for a girl to telephone a guy asking for a date. (Wait, is she telephoning a guy to ask for a date, or is she telephoning a guy who will be asking for a date – can she telephone guys who don’t ask for a date?)

A man could be fined $100 or more in Ohio if he represents himself as unmarried and keeps company with a “female of good character”. (He can, however, hang around with them as long as he doesn’t spit in a salad bar.)

Kissing a stranger in Cedar Rapids, Iowa, is illegal. (I’ve been to Cedar Rapids, kissing anyone there ought to be illegal. No really – my ancestors came from there. 4/7/06 update on this one - my cousin who came to visit Wednesday night lives in Cedar Rapids now, see I told you)

Any man who constantly kisses “human beings” is forbidden to have a mustache if he lives in Indiana. (Guess the animals don’t care.)

Infants in Los Angeles cannot dance in public halls. (Makes me feel so much safer.)

In Kentucky, it is illegal to remarry the same man four times. (So make sure you have 5 first cousins.)

In Los Angeles, California, it’s illegal to hang your lingerie in public view. (But you can wear it in public view.)

In Oxford, Ohio, you aren’t allowed to wear patent leather shoes. (Geeze, you can’t spit in the salad bar, you can’t pretend to be single and hang around with women of good character, now you can’t wear patent leather shoes – there ain’t no fun in Ohio.)

In Kentucky: No female shall appear in a bathing suit on any highway unless she is escorted by at least two officers or is armed with a club. (That would be the Playboy Club.) Wait – there’s an amendment: The Amendment Reads: The provisions of this statute shall not apply to females weighing less than 90 pounds nor exceeding 200 pounds nor shall it apply to female horses. (I guess they had a problem with female horses wearing bathing suits.)

And last, but definitely not least:

Until recently it was illegal to fish for whales off the coast of Oklahoma. (notice that’s “until recently” – that means all of them whale fishermen can now make a living in Oklahoma – as soon as they find that coast.)