Friday, April 07, 2006

If I'm Dead Tired it Must Be Friday

I'm too tired to think up something new, so here's a re-cycle from my 360 blog (and maybe bravenet, but I'm just too tired to figure that one out). Anyway, it's from Loony Laws and Silly Statutes, Sheryl Lindsell-Roberts, Sterling Publishing Co., Inc., New York, 1994. These are actual laws which were still on the books as of 1994. Once again, bold is me because I just can't help myself.

In Kansas, it is illegal for eateries to serve ice cream on cherry pie. (In some places, not to do so would be blasphemy)

Xenia, Ohio, has made it illegal to spit in a salad bar. (And people wonder why I don’t like to eat salad.)

In Dyersburg, Tennessee, it is illegal for a girl to telephone a guy asking for a date. (Wait, is she telephoning a guy to ask for a date, or is she telephoning a guy who will be asking for a date – can she telephone guys who don’t ask for a date?)

A man could be fined $100 or more in Ohio if he represents himself as unmarried and keeps company with a “female of good character”. (He can, however, hang around with them as long as he doesn’t spit in a salad bar.)

Kissing a stranger in Cedar Rapids, Iowa, is illegal. (I’ve been to Cedar Rapids, kissing anyone there ought to be illegal. No really – my ancestors came from there. 4/7/06 update on this one - my cousin who came to visit Wednesday night lives in Cedar Rapids now, see I told you)

Any man who constantly kisses “human beings” is forbidden to have a mustache if he lives in Indiana. (Guess the animals don’t care.)

Infants in Los Angeles cannot dance in public halls. (Makes me feel so much safer.)

In Kentucky, it is illegal to remarry the same man four times. (So make sure you have 5 first cousins.)

In Los Angeles, California, it’s illegal to hang your lingerie in public view. (But you can wear it in public view.)

In Oxford, Ohio, you aren’t allowed to wear patent leather shoes. (Geeze, you can’t spit in the salad bar, you can’t pretend to be single and hang around with women of good character, now you can’t wear patent leather shoes – there ain’t no fun in Ohio.)

In Kentucky: No female shall appear in a bathing suit on any highway unless she is escorted by at least two officers or is armed with a club. (That would be the Playboy Club.) Wait – there’s an amendment: The Amendment Reads: The provisions of this statute shall not apply to females weighing less than 90 pounds nor exceeding 200 pounds nor shall it apply to female horses. (I guess they had a problem with female horses wearing bathing suits.)

And last, but definitely not least:

Until recently it was illegal to fish for whales off the coast of Oklahoma. (notice that’s “until recently” – that means all of them whale fishermen can now make a living in Oklahoma – as soon as they find that coast.)

20 comments:

Jordan Summers said...

LOL!

Tori Lennox said...

Those are a riot!!!

Joely Sue Burkhart said...

Oh, boy. You really gotta love those Oklahoma whales.

jason evans said...

The beaches in Oklahoma are beautiful.

Dennie McDonald said...

dead tire is right - I was with my mom, aunts and two cousins yesterday - female bonding crap tain't what people seem to think - sheesh! thank goodness the dh is taking all the boys camping in 3 hours (and counting) no TV no noise just me and my keys - woohoo!

Dennie McDonald said...

d = tired sheesh- need I say more....

Bailey Stewart said...

This was all I could manage last night. Dennie - dead tired is beginning to effect/affect (see what I mean) my ability to think clearly. Must.take.nap.today. I can't after work tomorrow because we're going to a party - a welcome home party for my cousin who just returned from Iraq. Then grocery shopping on Sunday - the people around here seem to think that they need to be fed. Errands this morning, then I'm off. Oh, and my co-worker is going to be gone tomorrow and I get to work with the boss, which really throws me into a panic attack - maybe that's why I'm not sleeping well - you think?

Anyway, please forgive any weird comments from me for the next few days - all sense has taken a hike.

Toni Anderson said...

LOL--those darned whalers get everywhere!

Carol said...

ROTFLMAO! I love reading about laws like that!

Susan said...

LOL! Enjoy you're weekend!

Meretta said...

Entirely too funny!

Rene said...

Those are funny. Has anyone alerted Greenpeace about the potential dangers for the Oklahoma whale?

Bailey Stewart said...

And to think that most of these are still on the books - that's what makes them so much more ridiculous.

Rene - I don't know, it's a thought :)

Shirley said...

I love those. So funny.

Hope you have a terrific party to welcome your cousin back.

christa said...

LOL I needed a good laugh this morning. Stayed up way too lat last night(I know my fault for staying up and reading til 3)

Bailey Stewart said...

I didn't get my nap - Devlin started having seizures again and I took him up to the vet. It isn't going very well. The phenobarbital is at theraputic (sp?) levels and ought to be controlling his siezures to one of two a month. He's averaging 5 or 6 (that we know of) a week. She's going to check with the pharmacy and if it isn't too much he'll be going on Valium (why not me? I could use some). You wouldn't know it to see him right now - he and Bailey are chasing a fly.

Brandy said...

Do you know there is a website that has all of these as well. In our state it is illegal to throw anything out of a moving car, unless it is water or a live chicken!

ruby55 said...

After reading Jill's blog and yours, I literally have tears streaming down my face and my tummy won't be the same for a couple of days.

Totally hilarious rules. One does wonder who comes up with such nonsense. And even if I've read them before they're still funny.

I guess a man who is married is readily allowed to go out with any "female of good character" whether she be his wife or not.

Hope you got your nap.

Have to see if I can phone my favorite aunt today. "Happy Birthday, Joyce! Love you"

Lis said...

lol the fact that these are real, scary or too darn funny? Can't decide which.

catslady said...

Lawmakers with way too much time on their hands!!

Good news about your cousin.