Don't forget the book giveaway - check yesterday's post.
Since I didn't get to see Hugh Jackman tonight (we have thunderstorms and tornadoes around us - like that's more important than Hugh Jackman), I had to amuse myself (Hey, don't go there you perv). If you didn't read the original Spamalot (and why not?), then you probably need to go to previous posts and read it first, there's some references here that won't make a lot of sense otherwise. Come to think of it, they might not make any sense anyway. As before, these are actual spam subjects that come into my inbox - and my comments are in bold. So here I proudly present: Spamarama!
But first, a bit of inspiration.
Now I'm ready:
HOW ARE YOU? (FINE HOW ARE YOU?)
Is easier this time (It wasn’t so hard the first time)
Don’t pay attention to this email! (Don’t worry, I won’t)
Local mystery shoppers – check for availability (Why would I want a mystery shopper. I want to know who’s shopping for me)
Won friend (Awww, thank you. I needed another one)
Blonde detectives (Like this needs a comment from me?)
A man with a small penis is like a butterfly without wings. (Are we back to the butterflies)
Good VALtUhM (Looks like it. Can you share?)
I’ve got a solution for you. (The valium would work just fine, thank you)
Punch line. (How did you know? Have you been paying attention?)
There’s (What? Don’t leave me like that. There’s what?)
Loiter (I beg your pardon. You came to my inbox. I didn’t come to yours. You loiter)
Ladies inside your region (Hey wait a minute. There’s no ladies in my region. I checked this morning)
Don’t be not gratified once again. (That’s because I keep hanging out with butterflies)
Dog fight (cat fight. I win)
You heard? (what? Who’s been talking? If they’re nekkid, those are my muses and they don’t know anything. Got it?)
You always wanted to use your penis as a billiards cue. (Once again I have to ask. Why?)
Vida Guerra is in your neighborhood. (Probably heard I had ladies in my region)
Let’s keep in touch. (Lets not. We’ll both be happier.)
Your neighbors lost their alarm clock. (Again? That’s not my job)
Wanna look like a rich guy? (Depends. Which one?)
The world will wobble when General Viagra takes effect! (I think someone has had too much valium)
How everything goin (Everything’s goin fine. How’s it goin with you?)
Isn’t it time? (I don’t know. Ask the neighbors. *Snort*)
37 comments:
Oh My! I love these. You have the ideas!!!
Jeez! I meant you have the BEST ideas!
I have ideas too - whether they be for the best or not is up for debate *gg*
Hahahaha! Sometimes my fingers can't keep up with my.....never mind! NOT going there!!! Get some sleep!
oh, weird. My verification code is: idlog
Lol! Those were hilarious! I can't believe you actually get them in your inbox! Thanks for sharing. And hugs on thunderstorms. I'm listening to one right now. Sigh. Where's sunny weather?
He looks great there ... phew. I need to fan myself.
Yeah, sometimes my fingers don't keep up with my ... either. *gg*
Diane - *gg*
Oh Olga - sorry about skipping. I was trying to post from memory and obviously I haven't had enough coffee yet. If you think these are good you should see the ones that I don't post. ;/
Love your "inspiration!"
You know, its REALLY hard to type when you are laughing like a loon.
Fun post!
I have never thought to use spam as a run-on joke before. It's cool!
Some of the dialog that can accompany spam is disjointed poetry. I think I should do something with it . You have inspired me, Eve!
Michele - I'm glad I could inspire you. Have fun with it.
Olga- the sun's here in St. Catharines, Ontario but not the Temps. We're only at 10'C and it's supposed go up to 14'C.
Glenice- Do you mix the cottage cheese with plain yogurt or flavoured yogurt cause I got Vanilla, Cafe, Mixed Berry and Blueberry.
Siiiiighhhhhh!!!!!!! Hugh Jackman is delicious. That man's enough to make your panties ignite into a raging inferno.
RYC: Thank you so much for purchasing FREE SPIRITS! You have no idea how much that thrills me, how much it means to me! To tell you the truth, I don't write so much right now to make money but more to touch people, make 'em think, wonder, dream, laugh...maybe even cry.
Again, thank you. And if you'd be of a mind to tell me it stinks or is wonderful, please do so. Criticism doesn't bother me in the least. Really. Friends tell me I'm weird, but I figure it's a way to learn.
Thanks again for visiting my blog, Eve. I know we’ve both got TV theme songs buzzing around inside our brains now, thanks to Raine!
I’ve had such fun looking through your blog! I especially like the photo of your desk on drugs. We clearly share the same tendencies! LOL
Love Hugh Jackman. He’s not only sexy and sensual, he’s talented and intelligent, too. Can’t beat that!
The spamarama was great. This morning I got one that said “Fat man in his fifties in Manilla you got a small penis?” Oh yeah, whatever the product is, I’ll be first in line to buy it. :-0 You know, Eve, I’m thinking about hiring some of these savvy people to help market my books. I mean, who wouldn’t run to purchase my work after reading an attention-grabbing email subject like “Fat Daisy in Portland got big ass?”
Anyway, I’m putting a link to your blog on mine and would be delighted if you’d like to reciprocate. :-)
LOL!
Did you get much storming? - ours didn't actually get to us until 2 - but we thought... out by the speedway...
Oh, the book thing ... I'd like the earliest Jill Shalvis you have ... if I win. Please. And if I do, I'll even send you the address. :o)
You get the best spam! *g*
Oh, I forgot to watch leno and watched letterman - darn, darn, darn. I love that pic!!! I get all that spam too but I enjoy yours more lol.
I love the way your mind works! :)
Sorry you didn't get to see Hugh Jackman last night. Darn those storms. :,(
Damn! I had this long response and blogger lost it. I'm too tired to do it over again, so here's the Reader's Digest version.
Peggy - yes he is!
Christa - Hi!
Zinnia - don't worry, I'll tell you.
Daisy - you make me laugh, I love it. Will link you some time this weekend.
Dennie - answered you on your blog.
Diane - you can send it anyway.
Tori - yes, it's because I'm special :p
Jeanne - at least I'm not alone.
Susan - I love the way your mind works too. ;-)
Loreth - you're welcome!
Hugh Jackman pic! Yum!
Loved the 'ladies inside your region' one! Gosh, I need to take a look at the ones I get now instead of delete, delete, delete!
Sandy - when my email alerts from bravenet started showing up in my bulk file (I don't remember how I discovered that) I started paying attention to what goes in there. They're really hysterical - I have about 69 of them in a file waiting to be used.
LOL--I HATE SPAM. I do not want a bigger penis thank you!
Love Hugh :) XXX
Toni - are you sure? *gg*
lol Loved these Eve :o)
Sorry you missed Hugh!
No, no, Hugh missed me. And he's very sorry too.
Okay - party about to begin so I'm off for fun and frivolty. Have a great evening.
He's always so easy on the eyes.
Oh, drool, what a very nice picture! I still think you get all the "good" spam. Mine is all dumb stuff.
Hey, we're on the same mailing lists! Although, have you any idea how I got on the mailing list to get a larger penis? I really have no use for one.
Jordan - Yes he is, isn't he :p
Joely - my spam is special.
Danica - I don't know how I got on that mailing list either.
Was Hugh Jackman in your city or on TV?
I've only watched him in Kate and Leopold and enjoyed that movie.
Hey Connie - He was on The Tonight Show Friday night, but storms in the area kept me from seeing him. I have Kate and Leopold, I like Leopold, don't like Kate.
Eve? I love the way your mind thinks! :D
Ah there you go Meretta - you had to put the word "think" in there. :)
Oooh, ouch, where's the ibuprofin?
You've got a good noggin' too.
>>You always wanted to use your penis as a billiards cue.
wait........don't they hit balls?
Gives new meaning to the term "rack up the balls".
You're priceless, Eve!
Thanks for the chuckles, giggles, guffaws. Had to hold my hand over my mouth so as not to disturb anyone upstairs. I really, really needed to laugh.
I read that you were supposed to have bad weather and sent you hugs and prayers. Did you feel them?
Pardon me for being a Hugh Jackman ignoramus. Is he on the top picture, too or is that Denise? Hope you had a happy day, DENISE.
Some of the body of the spams contain bits of classical lit texts. You'd think people would have other things to do than send you totally black e-mails (except for To: line) or just a multitude of XXXXXs. Not that I want to get any of the others either. I just put my name on a discussion board yesterday. They were asking about novels you wouldn't part with. Today I got 3 junk e-mails addressed to "ruby" (left off my number). Another blogger said that her blog had been "hijacked". I'm not quite sure what she meant with that. I'm waiting to hear.
I think most people are on the mailing list that want you to use the thingie as billiard cue. I've rarely seen them actually use "penis".
That was a good one too, Cece and a good comeback from Eve.
Stopped here on my way to bed. The man in the birthday greeting is country singer Chris Cagle - Denise's favorite.
Too sleepy for anything else right now so I'm off to bed. Have a great one Ruby.
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