Friday, December 01, 2006

Spamcicle

Can it be? (Yes, it’s spamarama)
Question? (What?)
Did you try to contact me on MSN today? (No that was some other stunningly beautiful writer.)
Chafe (Try some talcum powder)
See for yourself. (Um, no I’ll take your word for it.)
His so missy. (I know, I just hate that.)
Let’s go check it out. (No, no if he wants to be missy, I think we should let him.)
Shirley wrote. (And did a damn fine job.)
I’ll never let you down. (Great, you don’t know how wonderful it feels to know I can rely on spam.)
We save you. (What are you going to do? Email for help?)
Your neighbors lost their alarm clock. (Hold on a sec, let me wipe this surprised look off my face.)
Finally, found it. (It? Oh man, there’s lots of those clocks.)
You always wanted to use your penis as a billiards cue. (It would be a short game.)
You’ve dreamed about it. (Hugh Jackman, yes; Penis’ for billiards cues, no.)
Why be an average guy any longer. (Damn straight, if I’m going to be forced to be a guy, I certainly don’t want to be average.)

15 comments:

Michele said...

WHat???!!
"You always wanted to use your penis as a billiards cue. (It would be a short game.)""

ROTFLMAO!! It would be a short game... oh my stars, that hits the funny bone. Delish!

And of course, we have a Hugh reference ... bet HE plays a long game..*wink*

Great Spam, Bailey..thanks for the laugh before I hit the hay.

Great Friday to you!

Brandy said...

Hysterical as always. I don't know how you do it, but I love that you do!! As I've said before "All Hail Queen Bailey! Queen of Spam!"

Lis said...

*g* lmao over the short game! This so makes my Friday :o)

Bailey Stewart said...

Michele - I'm not sure it would be a longer game, I mean, like I'd let the game go on for very long?;)

Brandy - you are knealing and bowing while you're saying that, aren't you?

Lis - As long as y'all are lovin' it, I'll continue.

Okay, I've got a crockpot of chili to start, some picking up to do, etc. before Glenice gets here, so I'll be a bit scarce. Also, after two days at the bookstore, I am totally drainage and stuffed nose - I don't know how long I can take this. A good part of it is this cold front that came in - must have blown something our way that I'm allergic too.

So y'all have a great Friday.

Devon Ellington said...

Very funny!

Tori Lennox said...

I could be mistaken, but I'd think using your penis as a billiard cue would violate the obscenity laws. *g*

Bailey Stewart said...

Well, using my penis for a billiards cue would also violate the laws of nature, but might make it into Ripley's Believe it or Not. ROFL

Gotta get off here and get things done. And yes, it's just Glenice - but I think she would appreciate the litter boxes cleaned (especially the one in the guest bedroom), for example, so there are some things that need to be done no matter who is coming here. Can you tell I'm procrastinating?

Glenice said...

peek-a-boo!

I have just a few minutes to pop in :)

I saw you did the Night before Glenice again :) it was sad this year though...so much has changed for you over the last year...but it is still great writing!!!

I will be leaving here within the hour :) :) :)

Today it is FREEZING here!!! Yesterday morning it was 67 when I started the car...today...36!!! BABY IT'S COLD OUTSIDE!

see you soon...hopefully before dark! If the roads are clear it will be well before dark :)

raine said...

The urge to seek and destroy the folks who send this stuff is sometimes overwhelming...
There isn't a court in the land who'd convict me.

Bailey Stewart said...

Glenice - the roads ought to be good. Guess I'd better get this butt in gear.

Raine - but what would I do on Fridays? LOL

Meretta said...

Thanks for sharing, Bailey. It just goes to show that even annoying SPAM can be a positive thing!

Susan said...

How about a billiards cue as big as the Eiffel Tower?! *g*

catslady said...

The short game was definitely the funniest! Enjoy yourselves, Bailey and Glenice.

Marty said...

It never ceases to amaze me what a penis can be made equivalent to...I mean, do men think that's a good idea???

ruby55 said...

Great fun as always. Still the old alarm clock and the billiard cue, huh. Yep your spam is definitely more interesting than mine.

Right now I'm getting scads of spam with: Jane writes: Tom writes:; all one after the other. You'd think they'd synchronized the whole event.

If it's really foreigners working on this spam, I wonder if they even know what they're writing about.

Bailey and Glenice, have fun, you hear? Think of those of us who'd love to join you.