Ways to Confuse Santa

- Leave a plate filled with cookies and a glass of milk out, with a note that says, "For The Tooth Fairy." Leave another plate out with half a stale cookie and a few drops of skim milk in a dirty glass with a note that says, "For Santa"
- Take everything out of your house as if it's just been robbed. When Santa arrives, show up dressed like a policeman and say, "Well, well. They always return to the scene of the crime."
- Leave out a copy of your Christmas list with last-minute changes and corrections.
- While he's in the house, cover the top of the chimney with barbed wire.
- Leave lots of hunting trophies and guns out where Santa's sure to see them. Go outside, yell, "Ooh! Look! A deer! And he's got a red nose!" and fire a gun.
- Leave Santa a note, explaining that you've moved. Include a map with unclear and hard-to-read directions to your new house.
- Leave out a Santa suit, with a dry-cleaning bill.
- Paint "hoof-prints" all over your face and clothes. While he's in the house, go out on the roof. When he comes back up, act like you've been "trampled." Threaten to sue.
- Instead of ornaments, decorate your tree with Easter eggs. Dress up like the Easter Bunny.
Wait for Santa to come and then say, "This neighborhood ain't big enough for the both of us."


Cherry Cheese Pie

Throw away that mix, forget the bakery, you can make your own cheesecake - it's simple:

1 (9-inch) graham cracker crumb crust or baked pastry shell
1 (8-ounce) package cream cheese, softened
1 (14-ounce) can sweetened condensed milk (NOT evaporated milk)
1/2 cup lemon juice from concentrate
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 (21-ounce) can cherry pie filling, chilled (and yes, you can do this with blueberry or strawberry - but there's a trick to making that sweet syrup with the strawberry juice which you'll have to look up yourself. What? I have to do everything for you?)

In large mixer, beat cheese until fluffy. Gradually beat in sweetened condensed milk until smooth. Stir in lemon juice and vanilla. Pour into prepared crust. Chill 3 hours or until set. Top with cherry pie filling before serving. Refrigerate leftovers.

EDIT: Not to bring everybody down, but I wanted to mention that Peter Boyle passed away. I loved Peter Boyle. Tap dancing as Frankenstein in Young Frankenstein is a visual/funny bone delight. From While You Were Sleeping to the Santa Claus movies, he was a consummate actor. Not to mention Everybody Loves Raymond.