Wrapping Presents With Cats

Couldn't think of anything to blog about, so I pulled out something I did last Christmas. This had been going around, but I *tweaked* it to my purposes. This year, I went through and took out the names of cats that are no longer with me. Hope you enjoy it.

Wrapping Presents (With Cats)
1. Clear large space on floor for wrapping present.
2. Go to closet and collect bags in which presents are contained, and close door.
3. Open door and remove Bubba from closet.
4. Go to plastic tub and retrieve rolls of wrapping paper.
5. Remove Baileyboo from bag.
6. Go to drawer and collect transparent sticky tape, ribbons, scissors, labels, etc.
7. Rescue Neely Shae from plastic tub.
8. Sit on floor, lay out wrapping materials to enable wrapping strategy to be formed.
9. Get back up, go back to drawer to get string, remove Baileyboo who has been in the drawer since last visit, and collect string.
10. Remove a present from bag. Remove Aidan from bag.
11. Open box to check present, remove Baileyboo from box, replace present.
12. Lay out paper to enable cutting to size. Cut the paper to size, trying to keep the cutting line straight.
13. Remove Bubba from paper. Continue cutting. Throw away first sheet because he tried to chase the scissors and tore paper.
14. Cut second sheet of paper to size by putting Bubba in the bag the present came out of.
15. Remove Aidan from second sheet, throw it away because it has claw rips all through it.
16. Place present on cut-to-size paper.
17. Lift up edges of paper to seal in present, wonder why edges now don't reach, and find Neely Shae between present and paper. Remove her and retry.
18. Place object on paper, to hold in place, while cutting transparent sticky tape.
19. Spend next 20 minutes carefully trying to remove transparent sticky tape from Neely Shae with pair of nail scissors.
20. Seal paper down with transparent sticky tape, making corners as neat as possible. Cringe at clumps of cat hair sticking out from tape.
21. Look for roll of ribbon; chase Baileyboo down hall and retrieve ribbon.
22. Try to wrap present with ribbon in a two-directional turn.
23. Re-roll up ribbon and remove paper that is now torn, due to Baileyboo's enthusiasm in chasing ribbon end.
24. Repeat steps 12-22 until down to last sheet of paper.
25. Decide to skip steps 12-16 in order to save time and reduce risk of losing last sheet of paper. Retrieve old cardboard box that you know is right size for sheet of paper.
26. Put present in box, and tie down with string.
27. Remove string, open box and remove Bubba.
28. Put all packing materials in bag with present and head for lockable room.
29. Once inside room, lock door and start to re-lay out packing materials.
30. Remove Neely Shae from box, unlock door, put him outside door, close door and re-lock.
31. Lay out last sheet of paper. (Admittedly this is difficult in the small area of the toilet, but try your best!)
32. Ignore Bubba trying to tear down the door. Make vow to replace shredded door tomorrow.
33. Seal box, wrap with paper and start repairs by very carefully sealing down tears with transparent sticky tape. Now tie up with ribbon and decorate with bows to hide worst affected areas.
34. Label, then sit back and admire your handiwork, congratulating yourself on making good of a bad job.
35. Unlock door, and go to kitchen to make drink and feed cats.
36. Spend next 15 minutes looking for Baileyboo, before coming to obvious conclusion.
37. Unwrap present, untie box and watch Baileyboo jump out and hide under bed.
38. Retrieve all discarded sheets of wrapping paper, feed cats and retire to lockable room for last attempt, making certain you are alone and the door is locked.
39. At time of handing over present, smile sweetly at receiver's face, as they try and hide their contempt at being handed such a badly wrapped present.
40. Swear to yourself that next year, you’ll get the store to wrap the damn thing for you.
41. Smile smugly, knowing that the recipient could have received a cat!

Since it's so long and my last recipe is long too, come by on Friday to catch Swirled Surprise cookies.

Tonights movie:

A Hallmark Hall of Fame movie "Fallen Angel" with Gary Sinise (yum, yum)