Thursday, December 21, 2006

Wrapping Presents With Cats

Couldn't think of anything to blog about, so I pulled out something I did last Christmas. This had been going around, but I *tweaked* it to my purposes. This year, I went through and took out the names of cats that are no longer with me. Hope you enjoy it.

Wrapping Presents (With Cats)
1. Clear large space on floor for wrapping present.
2. Go to closet and collect bags in which presents are contained, and close door.
3. Open door and remove Bubba from closet.
4. Go to plastic tub and retrieve rolls of wrapping paper.
5. Remove Baileyboo from bag.
6. Go to drawer and collect transparent sticky tape, ribbons, scissors, labels, etc.
7. Rescue Neely Shae from plastic tub.
8. Sit on floor, lay out wrapping materials to enable wrapping strategy to be formed.
9. Get back up, go back to drawer to get string, remove Baileyboo who has been in the drawer since last visit, and collect string.
10. Remove a present from bag. Remove Aidan from bag.
11. Open box to check present, remove Baileyboo from box, replace present.
12. Lay out paper to enable cutting to size. Cut the paper to size, trying to keep the cutting line straight.
13. Remove Bubba from paper. Continue cutting. Throw away first sheet because he tried to chase the scissors and tore paper.
14. Cut second sheet of paper to size by putting Bubba in the bag the present came out of.
15. Remove Aidan from second sheet, throw it away because it has claw rips all through it.
16. Place present on cut-to-size paper.
17. Lift up edges of paper to seal in present, wonder why edges now don't reach, and find Neely Shae between present and paper. Remove her and retry.
18. Place object on paper, to hold in place, while cutting transparent sticky tape.
19. Spend next 20 minutes carefully trying to remove transparent sticky tape from Neely Shae with pair of nail scissors.
20. Seal paper down with transparent sticky tape, making corners as neat as possible. Cringe at clumps of cat hair sticking out from tape.
21. Look for roll of ribbon; chase Baileyboo down hall and retrieve ribbon.
22. Try to wrap present with ribbon in a two-directional turn.
23. Re-roll up ribbon and remove paper that is now torn, due to Baileyboo's enthusiasm in chasing ribbon end.
24. Repeat steps 12-22 until down to last sheet of paper.
25. Decide to skip steps 12-16 in order to save time and reduce risk of losing last sheet of paper. Retrieve old cardboard box that you know is right size for sheet of paper.
26. Put present in box, and tie down with string.
27. Remove string, open box and remove Bubba.
28. Put all packing materials in bag with present and head for lockable room.
29. Once inside room, lock door and start to re-lay out packing materials.
30. Remove Neely Shae from box, unlock door, put him outside door, close door and re-lock.
31. Lay out last sheet of paper. (Admittedly this is difficult in the small area of the toilet, but try your best!)
32. Ignore Bubba trying to tear down the door. Make vow to replace shredded door tomorrow.
33. Seal box, wrap with paper and start repairs by very carefully sealing down tears with transparent sticky tape. Now tie up with ribbon and decorate with bows to hide worst affected areas.
34. Label, then sit back and admire your handiwork, congratulating yourself on making good of a bad job.
35. Unlock door, and go to kitchen to make drink and feed cats.
36. Spend next 15 minutes looking for Baileyboo, before coming to obvious conclusion.
37. Unwrap present, untie box and watch Baileyboo jump out and hide under bed.
38. Retrieve all discarded sheets of wrapping paper, feed cats and retire to lockable room for last attempt, making certain you are alone and the door is locked.
39. At time of handing over present, smile sweetly at receiver's face, as they try and hide their contempt at being handed such a badly wrapped present.
40. Swear to yourself that next year, you’ll get the store to wrap the damn thing for you.
41. Smile smugly, knowing that the recipient could have received a cat!

Since it's so long and my last recipe is long too, come by on Friday to catch Swirled Surprise cookies.

Tonights movie:

A Hallmark Hall of Fame movie "Fallen Angel" with Gary Sinise (yum, yum)


Brandy said...

I am howling with laugher!! OMG this is hysterical! And I went through something similar to this eaarlier this week! *g* Gotta love the little furballs anyway!

Brandy said...

Ooh, and this reminds me of that scene is National Lamppons Christmas Vacation when the Aunt comes for dinner!

christa said...

Now I remember why I switched to gift bags.

raine said...

I'm lmao because this is absolutely, totally true!!
(lest any of you without cats think she exaggerates...NOT!).

Fabulous, Bailey, thank you, lol.

Dru said...

LMAOROTF... I remember going through this when we had our cat.

I love #37.

Tori Lennox said...

I saw that movie "Fallen Angel" last year on Hallmark. Very good movie. :)

Devon Ellington said...

Yes, that sounds about right . . .

Dennie McDonald said...

I have no cats - but do have kids and most do apply to them - LOL

eldest unwrapped ALL the gifts under the tree one year - the week before - none were his... - we now put ALL gifts out AFTER they go to bed Christmas eve!!!

Susan said...

This sounds just like what went on in my house last night except the names were different! lol Oh, we also have a dog to throw into the mix.

Kelley said...

I dread wrapping gifts with my cats. I already had to put the xmas tree on the porch they were driving me so crazy with it.

Meretta said...

VBG. This sounds a lot like my experiences! Cats. You've got to love them!

christa said...

I don't have cats but my sister has two and friends of mine have a dog. Whenever he's here I shut my bedroom door(unless iI want to chase my bras and underwear all over the house) and the bathroom door closed(unless I want to chase wantever is in the garbage all over the house.) He started to redecorate the apartment with toilet paper but we stopped him.
So now for three days I have to keep hiding my son's present so he can't peek.

catslady said...

LOL so so true. I've totally given up on using ribbon thanks to one of my cats, Pita (Pain int he @ss).

Toni Anderson said...

Yep--Cats and kids seem interchangeable. LOL. I remember this from last year and it is just as funny this year.

Merry Christmas Bails.

Saskia Walker said...

LOL this was a great read and so true!

Carol said...

Yes, that's what it's like! lol I always try to get my wrapping done when the my cat is asleep. ;)

Lis said...

lol, i can just picture it! :o)

Sandy J said...

This was great! I weeped with laughter visualizing all that! Thanks, Bailey.