That's the journey of a writer, long and winding. Ups and downs, rejections, joys, acceptance, laughter, tears, community, and yet a sense of loneliness. The road is bumpy, often full of potholes, and yet it's one we gladly follow, for we are writers and writing is a part of our soul. Join me on my journey.
Oh, hi! Look, you showed up again. Isn’t that nice of you. What’s the matter, got nothing else to do? Evidently I don’t either. LOL You see, it’s Summer. All together now, how does Bailey feel about Summer? You’re lagging Toni. Michele, pay attention. One more time. Tori, this way sweetie. Yes, face the monitor. Brandy! Quit snickering. Melissa? Wake up dearie. Once more everyone. How does Bailey feel about Summer? There you go, that was perfect. Almost. Susan? What are you doing? No looking at LOLCats right now. Anyway, yes it’s Summer and my brain has gone on vacation along with the nekkid muses. I’m waiting for Fall. Please, sweet Fall, show your orange leaves, your crisp evenings, your splendid shedding of Summer’s green coat. Cast off the chains of Summer and run free like the wind!!!!! Oh, sorry, got carried away there. Lis honey, you’re late. Find a seat. You’ll have to catch up on your own. BTW, for being late that’ll be 3 laps around the track. Raine? I see you lurking over there. (waving) Okay, as you have noticed, the blog is still a Monday, Wednesday and Friday blog. And Friday’s will still be spam day. Keep down the cheers people. The only thing I ask of you – and this is for you lurkers – just at least say hi once a week. Two letters - H and I – a simple thing but enough to let me know that you are out there.
So it’s Summer, Tuesday was a level red ozone alert, Wednesday a level orange. Bebo and I are not amused. This isn’t good for people with asthma. It’s not really good for people without asthma. We’re all choked up about it. (har, har) But Fall really is just around the corner. School has started, NFL is in pre-season, the new Fall TV season is within eyeshot. Soon the Texas State Fair will start – my last sign of Fall. Last weekend, Bebo and her mother saw geese flying in formation heading south. Yippee!!!!!!!!! Fly babies, fly home to mama!!!!! I said – oh, hi. I forgot you were there for a moment. Sooo, Summer is nearing it’s end (oh please, oh please, oh please), and soon Bailey will be in a much better mood. You will be thankful for this too, just wait and see.
So, without further ado (not that we were ado-ing anyway), here is another of my LOLCatz. Yes Susan, see – good things do come to those who wait.
Until Friday, have fun, be safe, and be good. If you can’t be good, take notes.
Hi, maybe I should re-introduce myself. My name is Bailey Stewart, and I’m a writer. I write romantic comedies. At least, I think about romantic comedies. I haven’t quite gotten them transferred from the ol’ brain matter to paper. Just a little catch, but I’m sure I’ll get past that eventually. Anyway, I missed you guys! What have I been doing while I’ve been gone? Absolutely nothing. And I’ve gotten damn good at it. If doing nothing were an Olympic event, I’d take home a silver medal. Really. No, not a gold, I have been doing some things. The office is almost put together; there are only a couple of boxes in the bedroom. Miraculously and to Bebo’s amazement, I’ve actually been keeping the apartment half-way decent. I think I’ve used the vacuum more in the 5 months I’ve been here than I think I ever did in a year at the house. Yep, the vacuum cleaner has become my friend. Now, if only the iron would talk to me. I also joined a paranormal group and have been on a ghost hunt. That was fun and I’m looking forward to doing more of it. Plus, as a step towards getting the stories from the head to the page, I am on the brink of joining Yellow Rose, the Fort Worth branch of the RWA. See, I’ve been disqualified for the gold. Oh, and Aidan got married. Yes, you read it right, my oldest kitty is now a married man. And no, the men in white jackets are not waiting for me. I think. He married a nice kitty named Cissy in a beautiful MySpace ceremony at the Rock Bottom Bar and Grill. I cried. If you promise not to laugh too hard, I’ll even share pictures here. Right now the happy couple is honeymooning in Ireland. Dublin to be exact. Hey, if you have to dream, dream big.
So what about you? What have you been up to in the last couple of months? I hope everyone has been having a great summer. I know that Michele and Dru have joined Facebook. Marty got married. And …. Well hey, fill me in!!
Oh wait!! I have been doing something else. I've been making my own LOLCatz. Obviously, you don't have to use your own pictures, since this isn't one of my cats. They have their own picture files you can choose from. This is one of my favorites that I've made.
HEY!!! BLOGGER CUT OFF THE WORDS!!!!! AWWWWWWW. You gotta go here to see it properly. moar funny pictures
It’s become quite evident that if I don’t go blogging, people aren’t going to come here. And yet, at the moment, I have no urge to go blogging. I don’t know what it is – blogging burnout? I used to go to so many blogs it would take hours to do my list. I got tired. Shoot, I’ve gotten tired of writing my own blog. So I guess I’m going to take a little sabbatical here. Maybe when I start the job hunt, interview process or something, I’ll have something to write about. Right now, it’s just the heat and me. Nothing else to talk about. I don’t have out-laws to gripe about, children to talk about, or anything else of any interest to anyone. I don’t know how long I’ll be gone, I’ll let you know when I’m back. Thanks to those of you who have stuck with me. I promise, I will return.
Yep, I'm having problems with the internet again. I've spent the day here at Bebo's trying to get all my bills paid, internet stuff done, reviews written and posted, and spam written in case I don't get back before Friday. So here it is Wednesday and I'm posting Spam. Not that you'll see it before Friday anyway, since blogster has this great "post it ahead of time" feature where I can set it up to post early Friday morning. I know, devious of me. Anyway, here's the spam. Don't forget to go over to Isn't It Romantic for my new review. Ciao everyone!
Update your penis. (What? To penis 2.0?) Greetings, I have learned an interesting thing. (That Microsoft will upgrade your penis?) Regain your attractiveness as a man. (I was a man?) You look really stupid baileystewart. (As a man, yes I do.) Don’t warry. (Warry? Is that more than wary? I would be warry of me as a man.) How do these guys do it? (They’re born with it?) These pills really make you huge. (No thanks, I have chocolate for that.) Your neighbors lost their alarm clock. (You have got to be kidding! Don’t look at me, where would I put them?) Ladies and Gentlemen’s please welcome her majesty Pharmacy. (In her jewel encrusted shower cap, carrying her gold toilet plunger scepter.)
Oh, and here's a picture of Bubba to hold you over.
UPDATE: INTERNET SUDDENLY CAME ON LAST NIGHT WITHOUT ANY EFFORT FROM ME, SO THERE MUST HAVE BEEN SOMETHING WRONG WITH THE PROVIDER
1) NUDITY I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, 'Mom, that lady isn't wearing a seat belt!'
2) OPINIONS On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother. The note read, 'The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents.'
3) KETCHUP A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone. 'Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's hitting the bottle.'
4) MORE NUDITY A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, 'What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?'
5) POLICE # 1 While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked, 'Are you a cop?' 'Yes,' I answered and continued writing the report. My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police. Is that right?' 'Yes, that's right,' I told her. 'Well, then,' she said as she extended her foot toward me, 'would you please tie my shoe?'
6) POLICE # 2 It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me. 'Is that a dog you got back there?' he asked. 'It sure is,' I replied. Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van. Finally he said, 'What'd he do?'
7) ELDERLY While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass.. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, 'The tooth fairy will never believe this!'
8) DRESS-UP A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, 'Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit.' 'And why not, darling?' he asked. 'You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning.'
9) DEATH While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently, his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased. The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father always said: 'Glory be unto the Father, and unto the Son, and into the hole he goooes.' (I want this line used at my funeral!)
10) SCHOOL A little girl had just finished her first week of school. 'I'm just wasting my time,' she said to her mother. 'I can't read, I can't write, and they won't let me talk!'
11) BIBLE A little boy opened the big family Bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages. 'Mama, look what I found,' the boy called out.
'What have you got there, dear?'
With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, 'I think it's Adam's underwear!'
The Following is an excerpt from the July 1943 issue of Transportation Magazine. The was written for male supervisors of women in the work force during WWII.
Eleven Tips on Getting More Efficiency Out of Women Employees: There’s no longer any question whether transit companies should hire women for jobs formerly held by men. The draft and manpower shortage has settled that point. The important things now are to select the most efficient women available and how to use them to the best advantage.
Here are eleven helpful tips on the subject from Western Properties.
1. Pick young married women. They usually have more of a sense of responsibility than their unmarried sisters, they’re less likely to be flirtatious, they need to work or they wouldn’t be doing it, they still have the pep and interest to work hard to deal with the public efficiently.
2. When you have to use older women, try to get ones who have worked outside the home at some time in their lives. Older women who have never contacted the public have a hard time adapting themselves and are inclined to be cantankerous and fussy. It’s always well to impress upon older women the importance of friendliness and courtesy.
3. General experience indicates that “husky” girls – those who are just a little on the heavy side – are more even tempered and efficient than their underweight sisters.
4. Retain a physician to give each woman you hire a special physical examination – one covering female conditions. This step not only protects the property against the possibilities of lawsuit, but reveals whether the employee-to-be has any female weakness which would make her mentally or physically unfit for the job.
5. Stress at the outset the importance of time the fact that a minute or two lost here and there makes serious inroads on schedules. Until this point is gotten across, service is likely to be slowed up.
6. Give the female employee a definite day-long schedule of duties so that they’ll keep busy without bothering the management for instructions every few minutes. Numerous properties say that women make excellent workers when they have their jobs cut out for them, but that they lack initiative in finding work themselves.
7. Whenever possible, let the inside employee change from one job to another at some time during the day. Women are inclined to be less nervous and happier with change.
8. Give every girl an adequate number of rest periods during the day. You have to make allowances for feminine psychology. A girl has more confidence and is more efficient if she can keep her hair tidied, apply fresh lipstick and wash her hands several times a day.
9. Be tactful when issuing instructions or making criticisms. Women are often sensitive; they can’t shrug off harsh words they way men do. Never ridicule a woman – it breaks her spirit and cuts off her efficiency.
10. Be reasonably considerate about using strong language around women. Even though a girl’s husband or father may swear vociferously, she’ll grow to dislike a place of business where she hears too much of this.
11. Get enough size variety in operator’s uniforms so that each girl can have a proper fit. This point can’t be stressed too much in keeping women happy.
I know, it’s not spam, but my cousin sent me this and I just loved it and didn’t want to wait until Monday to post it. Hope everyone has a great weekend.
The only thing I have to add about the apartment is the chimes that I bought at Scarborough Faire. I tried to take a picture of them the day that I shot the patio, but they didn’t show up at all against the cloudy sky, so I had to wait until a sunny day. Even then, they still don’t show up well unless you click and enlarge the picture. The colors aren’t right – I don’t know why the camera isn’t displaying them right. They are leaves and they are a rusty color and a light green. Very pretty and the sound they make is beautiful.
Oh, wait, I do have this wall between the bedroom and bathroom. This is my tribute to dad. And yes, that is a real December 8, 1941 newspaper in that frame.
I had a bit of disconcerting news this weekend. My Aunt Alice was in the hospital. It seems she’ll be okay, but it still scared me. Mom was the first on her side to pass away, and the first death since her mother died in 1980. We’ve been very lucky there. In my lifetime we’ve lost my grandparents and an aunt-in-law, uncle-in-law, and then mom. That’s it. On dad’s side there’s the grandparents, dad, two of his brothers, three of his sisters, and six in-laws. Plus two cousins. So you see how unnerved I became to have first my mother’s brother in the hospital a couple of weeks ago, my aunt, and then to find out today that the oldest was in the hospital too. Confused yet? Anyway, they’re all getting up there and it’s only a matter of time before mom’s side begins to drop, for loss of another way to phrase it. It was the elders that have kept the family together, and as they die, or move away, it’s like we’re all “breaking” up. We no longer have family get-togethers like we did when I was growing up. We probably never will. Dad had 2 brothers and 1 sister living here when he died. Now one of the brothers has moved back to Iowa to live with his daughter, and his sister is moving to Alaska to live with her daughter. That just leaves my Uncle Kenny, and he doesn’t live in town – I haven’t seen him since 2006. In fact, I’ve hardly seen any of my extended family since mother died. And except for my Aunt Alice and one cousin, mother’s family doesn’t live here. I guess I’m just feeling a bit nostalgic this weekend. You see, I woke up Sunday morning with the realization that it was Howard’s birthday. It wasn’t anything I thought about, I just knew when I woke up without thinking about the date. Happy Birthday Howard. He would have been 56. Bebo and I talked about him for a little bit today. The date hadn’t gotten past her either. I saw my niece in March, which was the first time I’d seen her since 2006. And my nephews? Haven’t seen them since mom died either. It doesn’t bother me unless a holiday is coming up. And next weekend is Memorial Day. We got together every Memorial Day to celebrate both Howard’s and my dad’s birthdays (May 31). And now it’s just another day. They’re all pretty much just another day.
Egads, I’m so morose. Excuse me. Let’s end this with something funny, okay?
But do they bloom??? I wonder if they come in different colors? I wonder about the fragrance?I wonder if it would help to put those preservative packets in the water? I wonder if they bloom?I wonder whether they would look better on the kitchen table or in the entry? I wonder if they're cheaper by the dozen?I wonder if they come in long-stemmed?
Captured at 115th and Allisonville Rd. in Fishers (Indianapolis). The sign is real and was up for two hours before someone stopped and told them how to spell PE O NI ES
We caught you naked in shower baileystewart. (Norman? Norman Bates, is that you?) Video with a naked celebrity Gallery for baileystewart. (Oooh, Hugh, George, Orlando, Johnny, Matthew, …) World of clocks. (Let me guess, they have a little dirt on them?) Good afternoon, I have a good software. (Damn! I was looking for bad software!) hello from denise (Um, Dennie, have you forgotten your capitals?) Holy moly, that’s huge. (I know, for a writer that’s a big one.) your payment didn’t succeed, so your ads have been suspended. (You mean those “Hugh Look at Me!” billboards? Sheesh!) I went to the panty shop! (You’re much too excited about that.) Some men won’t learn. (Well, you can’t teach an old dog …)
Here's my front hall. That's my pewter spoon collection, and on both sides of it are Irish pictures, of course.
This is the view of the kitchen from the living room.
Here's one side of my kitchen
Here's the other. Like we said, it's small. That's the washer and dryer area in the back.
And here is the bathroom in all of it's glory. Well, most of it's glory. I didn't think you wanted a picture of the toilet itself. LOL
This is the end of the bathroom. Yes, the toilet is to the left. This is the curtain that Bebo got me for a house warming.
Here's a close up? I was trying to get the curtain rings. Maybe if you click it will be larger. Anyway, they match the curtain.
Okay Susan, here's my patio.
This is in my kitchen. It belonged to my maternal grandmother, so it's special to me.
This is also in the kitchen, above the archway to the laundry area. This is the plaque that I talked about earlier, the one that we found in my mother's closet tucked in the back of the shelves. It was my mother's last gift to me.
The picture above the fireplace is a family tree that my cousin drew in charcoal, with the frame made by my uncle. Actually, the cousin and uncle are on my dad's side, but the tree is my mother's side. That's Irish stuff on the mantle. I don't have ceiling fans, so I have to have standing fans, kinda spoils the decor. LOL
This is a close-up of the little table in the corner. It's my little bit of nostalgia.
My entertainment center. I have one more picture to frame and get hung, then it's finished.
My big ol' chair (with Aidan in it) and my new couch. The door at the end goes out to the patio.
That's it so far. I'll get the kitchen and the bedroom for Wednesday. Does this satisfy you for a bit? Oh, if you click on the picture, you get a close-up view.
Good afternoon. (It's morning you moron) What are you up to? (Oh, about 5'3") Nobody has ever presented you with such a New Year's gift. (New Year's already? Where did the year go?) Video with a naked celebrity Gallery for baileystewart. (There's only one celebrity I would like to see naked. But that will never happen) Improbably things happen too. (Thank you Mr. Jiminy Cricket) You won't believe! It's incredible! (From spam? Nothing would surprise me.) You should be satisfied with your penis. (Yeah, well, I was hoping that the rest of him would be here too.) That's a Teenie Weenie! (Then obviously it isn't his ...)
What? No pictures? Well, you see, it's kinda like this. The apartment didn't get ready this weekend. I know, I know. You see, the best made plans and so forth. I have three large boxes to unpack and a desk to de-clutter. I could have done that on Friday, the day I'd planned to have it done, but my Friday didn't go exactly as planned. The day started well enough, no harbinger rang out to warn me of the trouble ahead. And it was trouble. With a capitol "T". BAck in October of '06 was the last time that the hide-a-bed was used, by Glenice as a matter of fact. Even though she was the last to sleep on it, I knew she'd want fresh sheets. I opened the couch to take the old ones off and was met with a horrendous smell. Reek was more like it. And the covers were stuck to the metal frame. What the hell? I pried the blanket loose and the smell got worse. It was everywhere. I managed to get the sheets and blanket loose and off, then proceeded to pull the mattress out to the patio, where I sprayed it with some freshening stuff. I threw the blankets and sheets into the washing machine and prayed that they'd get clean. Then I turned my attention to the couch. I couldn't help it. You could smell it all through the apartment. What had happened? It looked like it had somehow gotten wet. I figure that BooBear, in his perpetual quest for a clean litter box, had somehow peed down the back of the cushions. Yet this smell was not evident UNTIL I opened the hide-a-bed. I sprayed down the mattress support and the couch. Then I went to work on the bar with a brillo pad to see if I could get the rust (or what I thought was rust) off of there. By this time the washing machine had gone into the final spin cycle and the thing became over balanced. I tried to fix it, but the blanket and stuff wouldn't cooperate. So I did what I used to do at home, just leaned on it until the cycle was through. Took the stuff out and threw it in the dryer, then loaded the washing machine with towels and bath rugs. Went back to work on the bed, taking the cushions outside and spraying them, spraying the mattress again for good measure. Came back into the house, did a few things and then went to put some trash away in the kitchen. The kitchen floor was flooded. Yeah, you heard me. Flooded. Water pouring out from beneath the washing machine. It took 4 1/2 big rolls of paper towels to wipe it up. Luckily the load was done. Are you with me so far? Yeah, thought so. It was at this time that I thought that a daquiri was in order. The outcome? The couch had to be thrown out - loaded with fungus and mold. Replacement luckily found by accident at a garage sale for $40. With a $70 slipcover, it was taken care of. The washer? Glenice pulled it out a bit, climbed up and looked behind and re-connected the hose that had come loose when the washer had gone into it's shimmying (sp?) overload dance. That was my Friday. May it never come again.
Can't you see I'm busy here? Oh, you can't? Well, I am. Glenice and I are about to watch Van Helsing because we're both feeling the need for Hugh. So, to keep you occupied here's another YouTube laugh (I'll be back on Wednesday). Have fun!!
Once again, I almost forgot to blog. Sheesh. Here at the last minute is Friday's spam. Enjoy, and have a great weekend. I know I will because Glenice arrives Friday night!!! WhooHoo!!!!!
I bet you’ve never seen anything like this! (You’d be surprised) Land of strong mans. (You’re right, I’ve never seen that. Do they book weekend rooms?) We caught you naked baileystewart. (Lucky you.) There’s a Party in My Pants! (And you’re worried about me being naked?) Here comes the smears. (Oh don’t worry. Everything I say is true.) Attract the mate of your dreams. (Does he come from the Land of strong mans?) Up to you. I know. (It’s always up to me. Where have you been?) Don’t you agree to be sick! (I’m not the one that caught me naked.) HiramBigDick. (Kimosabe)
In case you weren’t aware of it, it’s Tuesday night, which means I have to come up with a blog. Right. You see, that’s the hard part. I can’t think of anything. I’m still getting the apartment ready for Glenice’s visit this weekend (at which time, said apartment should be ready for picture taking). I have to start the big job search after that. Bubba is having a better love life than I am. And believe me, that sucks. Not only does he have his girlfriend Apryl, but now Taylor the Sex Kitten is after him. I don’t know how I feel about that. Bubba and loose women? Aidan and BooBear can’t seem to find girlfriends, which amuses Bubba because they’re considered the two beauties of the bunch and he’s, well, he’s Bubba the red-necked kitty. And he’s the one with a girlfriend. Go figure.
I hope you are having a wonderful hump day, and that everyone you love and care about are healthy and happy.
Main Entry: blog Pronunciation: \ˈblȯg, ˈbläg\ Function: noun Etymology: short for Weblog Date: 1999 : a Web site that contains an online personal journal with reflections, comments, and often hyperlinks provided by the writer — blog•ger noun — blog•ging noun
Yep. That’s what ol’ Webster’s says. A website – yep, got that; online personal journal – um, not lately; reflections, comments and often hyperlinks provided by the writer. Yeah, right. We’re going to break that down further. But before we do so, I’d like to ask one little question. If the word blog is in the dictionary, how come when I type it into word that little squiggly “you spelled this wrong dummy” line appears under it?
Main Entry: Web site Function: noun Date: 1992 : a group of World Wide Web pages usually containing hyperlinks to each other and made available online by an individual, company, educational institution, government, or organization
Hmmm, there we go with those hyperlinks. I’m an individual, and this is a World Wide Web page, so I guess in this case, blog is correct.
Main Entry: jour•nal Pronunciation: \ˈjÉ™r-nÉ™l\ Function: noun Etymology: Middle English, service book containing the day hours, from Anglo-French jurnal, from jurnal, adjective, daily, from Latin diurnalis, from diurnus of the day, from dies day — more at DEITY Date: 15th century 1 a: a record of current transactions; especially : a book of original entry in double-entry bookkeeping b: an account of day-to-day events c: a record of experiences, ideas, or reflections kept regularly for private use d: a record of transactions kept by a deliberative or legislative body.
Blah, de blah, de, an account of day-to-day events. Check. A record of experiences, ideas, or reflections kept regularly for private use. Ooookayyy, day-to-day: sort of, I mean Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Record of experiences: What experiences I do have because we know I’m really beyond boring. At this point, the definition seems to be right on the mark.
Main Entry: re•flec•tion Pronunciation: \ri-ˈflek-shÉ™n\ Function: noun Etymology: Middle English, alteration of reflexion, from Late Latin reflexion-, reflexio act of bending back, from Latin reflectere Date: 14th century 6: a thought, idea, or opinion formed or a remark made as a result of meditation 7: consideration of some subject matter, idea, or purpose
Meditation? I don’t meditate. And I rarely put any consideration in my thoughts. I say what I mean without a lot of editing (you know, those four letter bad words).
So, we have a group of World Wide Web pages by an individual, where said individual shares their thoughts and feelings, opinions, ideas, etc. in a journal like fashion.
Yep, I’ve done that. Really. If you check back in archives I have expressed feelings. I have shared ideas. I have used hyperlinks like these. I have even … Oh heck, here’s a YouTube thingy instead.
Which ones really work? We list the Top Penis Enlargement products! (I’ve seen a lot of lists in my lifetime. But this one beats 'em all.) baileystewart’s naked video. (As produced by Wes Craven.) Enlarge your dummy length. (My dummy is long enough as it is.) Men and women FREE INTERNATIONAL SHIPPING. (You mean I can have Hugh shipped here for free? Wow!) Her heaving bosom pics. (I got rid of those years ago. The heaving bosoms, not the pics.) Then with a gentle look you took my hand. (That wasn’t me. Honest.) I love bargain hunting here. (For spam, there are no bargains here.) Success is a fish that is pulled from an ocean. (Not for the fish.) “I don’t know” he’d get mad and yell: “_ why _ don’t you know?” ( _ because you _ didn’t tell _ me?) Be a PORN star for a day. (Can’t I be one in lower case?)
Look, Bubba has a girlfriend. Her name is Apryl and she lives in Houston. Aren't they cute?
I'm supposed to do a blog post, aren't I? Sorry, I got involved in reading and then the ceiling in my bathroom began to leak and I had to wait for maintenance, and now I'm rambling. Yep, it's been a rambling kinda day. Let's see, pictures. Yes Susan, there will be pictures. As soon as I finish getting the apartment all together and that will be soon since I'm having company the 2nd through the 5th. So for Glenice, it will be done. And don't tell me not to worry about it either, missy. I want this apartment put together, I just haven't had the incentive to do it - now I do. You, plus the party. Plus I need to get new batteries as the rechargable part of these has plum worn out. But there will be pictures. Are you satisfied Susan (and Joan, 'cuz I know you're lurking out there). Alas, there were no pictures taken of my braids. Funny how I seem to get out of having my picture taken. There is one though that my friend Sunshine, from work, managed to take of me at the Irish Festival in March. Here, are you satisfied? At least my five chins aren't showing. Savor it, 'cuz it will probably be the last one you see unless I lose a few more pounds.
Thank you all for being an amazing part of my blog experience and The Clarity of Night!
I'm writing tonight to announce the grand opening of a companion blog. It’s a candlelit place called Night Conversations (http://nightconversations.blogspot.com/). Here's the concept.
In important parts of our lives, many of us struggle with feelings of isolation, of being misunderstood. Night Conversations is a place where anonymous participants spend a evening with me talking and delving into those feelings. No advice. No judgment. Just a person who wants nothing more than to listen and understand.
Stop over and share the first of the Night Conversations with me. If you like what you see, I'd be grateful for any mention, or even a review, that you would be willing to do on your own blogs. I'd love to see Night Conversations spread like a more personal version of Post Secret.
The comfy chair is open for anyone out there who like to participate. Thanks!
--Jason Evans
Not a whole lot going on with me. I seem to have become the MySpace page designer of choice. LOL First I did Bebo's, then the Jill Shalvis Fan Page, then my cat Bubba (yes, Bubba has a page, want to see it? Click here. Now remember, you don't have to be a member of MySpace to look at his page.) Then my two pages, yes two. One for me and one for Bailey. Now my cousin Joan wants me to design her page. Maybe I need to start charging. LOL
Here's a little video for your Monday. Please excuse the first scene, but the rest is great - especially the talking cats.
Hi sweety! Remember me? (Nope.) What’s so funny? (Just the thought of me missing spam.) Just you and my rubber duckie. (Don’t get that duck near me!) Most popular jang enlargement (A rubber duckie can … wait, I don’t want to know) Bebo showcases at SXSW! (She does what?) Check out this huge ass. (She’s going to get you for that.) Don’t look! (Make up your mind. First I’m supposed to check it out, then I’m not supposed to look. Sheesh.) Your academic qualification expired. (They’ll have to pry that diploma out of my cold, dead hands.) Remember youth. (Barely) When I was your age, we had eight inch floppies. (I’m sorry. Maybe you need a rubber duckie?)
I also have some great news (for me). I have a new car!! Well, not new, it's a 2000, but it's newer than the POS Mazda that I was driving and in much better shape. It was Bebo's car. Saturday, she bought a new one and I was able to buy her Saturn SL2 from her. It's grey/silverish and it has a CD player! Okay, I miss my moon roof, but hey, a CD player people!
So, what's up with you? Is there a movie coming out that you're really excited about?
My name is Bailey Stewart and I’m a book addict. For about 2 years I have been on the straight and narrow, like a good book addict should. But on Saturday, April 12, I fell off the book mobile. I went to Borders. I had a gift certificate from Christmas that I had saved to buy the new Jim Butcher book.
I was only going to buy it and a non-fiction book or two. Yeah, and an alcoholic is only going to have one drink. I ended up spending about $175. Yes you read that right. Of course, a few were hardcovers which do cost more, but still … It really all started a couple of days ago when I was having a conversation with a customer. Somehow the subject of my history degree came up and she asked if I’d read any good history books lately. Ummm, no? I haven’t touched non-fiction for a couple of years. So I decided to correct this and pick up a couple of non-fiction tomes. Yeah, and there’s nothing mentally wrong with Brittany Spears. I did buy some fiction other than the Dresden book: Annette Blair’s My Favorite Witch and The Scot, the Witch and the Wardrobe; Lucy Monroe’s Three Brides for Three Bad Boys; Barbara Pierce’s Naughty by Nature. Also, CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: In Extremis by Ken Goddard, and a novel about Robert Frost, who is my favorite poet. But it’s the non-fiction that I’m looking forward to reading.
So, how about you? What book did you buy last? What are you reading now? What book are you most looking forward to reading? Fiction vs. Non-fiction?
The biggest butt! (Excuse me? Yours isn’t much better fella.) After you open this letter you will need to purchase big condom. (What’s in it, magic seeds?) Be damn good in it. (That would have to be one large condom.) It was said on TV and written in magazines. (Well it must be true then.) Whip out a huge pecker. (Oh no, Woody gone wild!) Your next timepiece will be your companion for life. (I think this was meant for my neighbors.) What an ass! (My neighbors or my big butt?) Hello, this is a job offer from LUGANO. (Got benefits?)
My name is Bailey Stewart and I'm a reality show addict. Really. Reality. Who'da thunk. I live in a world of dreams and fantasy, creating stories in my mind, and yet ... I'm drawn to these shows. Tuesday night is no exception. I have American Idol, followed by the results show of Dancing With the Stars. And then, something I've been waiting for ever since I first saw it advertised ... Secret Talents of the Stars. Yikes! I cringe and yet at the same time I am utterly fascinated, sort of like when I'm channel surfing and pause at Jerry Springer. Why? Where do they find these people? But I digress, Secret Talents of the Stars. Like Danny Bonaduce has nothing else to do. Oh wait, he doesn't. Here's CBS' official blurb:
SECRET TALENTS OF THE STARS, a weekly celebrity talent show that reveals the unknown talents of sixteen well-known personalities. Each week, celebrities will compete in a tournament-structured format to determine who has the BEST unknown talent. Each performer on SECRET TALENTS OF THE STARS will fulfill his/her dream by practicing, and then performing live. Each performance will be critiqued by three judges - but it's the viewers who get to vote for the celebrity that has impressed them the most. Each week, the "Viewer Vote" will determine which celebrities move on in the competition, and who will go home.
Got it? Okay, here's the celebs and their talents:
Joshua Morrow from The Young and the Restless. He'll juggle. WhooPee! *sigh* Oh, wait! It's rock and roll juggling. Huh?
Cindy Margolis, an actress and model will do magic. Be still my heart ...
Sasha Cohen, Olympic figure skater is secretly a contortionist. Who'da thunk?
Ray Jones, Jr., a boxer who thinks he can rap. We'll see.
Bridget Marquardt, a Playboy Bunny. Guess what? She can bungee jump and jump on a trampoline. That's a talent?
Clint Black (the first one listed that didn't need any introduction) is a stand-up comedian. Country Western music about loving and losing vs. comedy. This could be interesting.
Danny Bonaduce, child star who can't seem to ... um, let go. He can ride a unicycle. Didn't anybody watch Dancing With the Stars on Monday? So can Adam what's-his-name.
Sheila E., one of the most talented percussionist/drummers in the music world. She's got rhythm, right? She can juggle too. Joshua or Sheila, who is better? Stay tuned to As the Stars Turn.
Wrestler Ric Flair salsa dances! Who? Sorry folks, not a wrestling fan. You'll have to turn to Lis for that one. Salsa? Oooookay!
Legendary Boxing champion Joe Frazier is going to sing R&B. Now, I am kinda looking forward to this. Stand-up comedy and singing - that's talent. Even Rap is a talent. Unicycle? Juggling - well, okay, yeah it takes a certain sense of balance, etc. but come on people.
Marla Maples, the ex-Mrs. Donald Trump. Talk about not letting go of their 15 minutes. What can Ms. Maples do besides look pretty? She can do gymnastics. And who said she wasn't flexible?
Jo Dee Messina. Talented Country Western Singer. There's a song of her's that I can't remember the name of, but I love it. Anyway, her talent is described as hip-hop meets step dance. What? Hmmm, could be interesting ... could be a disaster.
Mya, a singer I've never heard of, is going to do one of my favorites - she's going to tap dance. I love tap dancing. I have nothing sarcastic to say about this.
Ben Stein, who obviously is done giving away his money, is going to Swing Dance? Memories of Jerry Springer dance in my head.
Cosby alum, Malcolm-Jamal Warner (who I secretly think is kinda hot) - Original Song (Bass & Vocals). Now, that could be interesting.
And last, but not least ...
George Takei. Yes, Sulu. I'm surprised he's not doing comedy. Really. I saw him on Thank God You're Here (and if you never caught this one - it was funny) and he was hysterical. But no, what is the 71 year old Star Trekker going to do? Sing Country Music. In front of Clint Black and Jo Dee Messina. Brave soul. Or senility. You choose.
So there you have it - the cast of Secret Talents of the Stars. Now, unlike other celeb-filled reality shows (Dancing With the Stars included), this one actually has some real celebs instead of wannabes, has beens and "who?". Clint Black, Jo Dee Messina, Sasha Cohen, Joe Frazier, and Sheila E.
Yes, I am Bailey Stewart, and I will be glued to the tube at 9:00 pm cdt.
I found it! This is the song by Jo Dee Messina that I love
Bebo and I attended Scarborough Faire, a Renaissance Festival just south of Dallas. This is its 28th year and the first year I had attended. Bebo had gone in years past, but not for about the last 16. We'd been promising to go for around 14 and decided that this year we'd go. Was it fun? I spent the day with Bebo, bought some great stuff. But fun? Not better than the North Texas Irish Festival. I hurt. We were only on our feet for about 5 1/2 hours and they ache. I'm used to being on my feet for 7 1/2 hours and they have never hurt this much. They have these stone walkways - not gravel really, more like little garden stones, chunks here and there. Stepping on them not only made walking a little hazardous (you've stepped on a little rock and had your foot turn, haven't you?), but each step would thrust one of those little stones through my tennis shoe bottom. I probably have little bruises all over the bottom of my feet. And it was really kinda ... boring? While the NTIF has music everywhere, bands on stage almost every half hour in different venues throughout the area, Scarborough had some traveling musicians, or a single player singing outside of a shop. It was almost silent, except for the occasional shouts from the "barkers" and maybe a sword fight here and there. I did get my hair braided - it looks pretty. Too bad it won't last. Oh well, at least I can finally say that I've been to the faire, but I doubt I'll be going back.
Is it you? (Were you expecting Hugh Jackman? ‘Cuz I was.) Feeling Short? (Listen spam, start making comments about my height and this session is over) CONGRATULATIONS YOU ARE A LUCKY WINNER!!! (As opposed to an unlucky winner?) Lengthen your bell-rope and you will have sex with any girlfriend you want. (Listen Quasimodo, shouldn’t you be leaving other people’s girlfriends alone?) I wanted to breakup another’s relationship. (Obviously) I felt guilty (Why let that bother you now?) I tore her clothes apart (Oh, I hate when that happens) I felt like I owed it to the person (That makes perfect sense now. I always feel like I owe people tattered clothes)
Main Entry: truck Function: noun Etymology: probably back-formation from truckle small wheel Date: 1611 3: a wheeled vehicle for moving heavy articles: as a: a strong horse-drawn or automotive vehicle (as a pickup) for hauling
That’s Webster’s definition of a truck. My definition is quite different. I hate them. No, let me be more specific. There is one certain pickup truck that I hate. Totally. I can see the headline now:
Aspiring Author Arrested for Truckocide. Suspect allegedly smashed truck to smithereens with a tire iron, all the while yelling “die you effing truck, die!”
It’s not really the trucks fault. I’m sure it’s a fine upstanding truck. In fact, it may have little trucks to support. I don’t care. I hate it. Sitting out there so innocent looking. No one would believe how evil it is. And it is evil, don’t doubt about that one bit. It’s either parked on one side or the other of my bedroom window, sometimes right smack dab in front of it. And it hates me as much as I hate it. I’m positive about that one. Otherwise, why would its alarm go off at all hours of the night and early morning? Why else would it do it especially the night before I have to get up for work? And believe you me, it’s not just night when it lets itself be heard. It went off several times today, breaking the silence with its shrill siren and incessant horn hocking. Did I mention incessant? Aggravating? I’m going to end up flipping out one night and charging out my patio door, tire iron waving in the humid Texas night as I climb hysterically over the patio fence. Then it’ll be just the truck and I. And the tire arm. I’m betting on me.
BTW, I've been busy putting together a MySpace fan page for Jill. Head on over to see it. Let me know what you think. It's 99% done and I'm waiting for Jill to crawl out from the deadline cave (Monday I hope) to finish the little bit that's left. You don't have to be a member of MySpace to look at the page.
Sorry folks, I'm drained. This is the best I can do. Have a great Friday!
When man goes along the street and something big sticks out of his jeans … (Alien!! Run!!!) Wipe that smirk off her face (You’re not touching my face) Her breast just spilled out. (Only one?) Some men won’t learn (You got that right) I was drunk (You made more sense drunk than you do sober) I wanted to say “I’m sorry.” (Well why don’t you say it then? Don’t just stand there and say that you wanted to. Sheesh.) Ohio debt consolidation (Ohio’s in debt? It is getting bad, isn’t it?) Make your friend bigger (She’s doing a good enough job on her own.)
So, lest you think that moving was a totally traumatic occurrence, let me assure you that there was plenty of levity to be had; some of it not discovered until after the actual move, but funny nonetheless. In order to tell this story properly, I need to back up a little. When we moved into the house in 1969 there was carpet only in the living room and hall. The three bedrooms were hardwood. My father, coming from the generation that looked upon hardwood floors as an indication of poverty, put carpet in those rooms as soon as possible. This meant that the ends of those three doors had to be cut off. When I removed the carpet, the doors were of course too short and left gaps when closed.
To present day - since moving meant having the front door open, I had to trap BooBear in the bathroom; Bubba and Aidan in the first bedroom. Anyone who has followed this blog for any length of time knows that Bubba doesn’t like to be closed up in a room. He protests quite loudly. Moving day was no exception. It was so funny to see Bubba’s nose and one eye peeking out from under the door. Poor pitiful Bubba, begging with that one eye.
Obviously, we had to unhook the washing machine in order to move it. No problem for the guy who was helping us. He used to be a professional mover. Easy, right? Hmmmm. When he unhooked the hot water, it wouldn’t turn off. Water was squirting everywhere, the floor was flooding and the three of us (Cavin, Bebo and I) were in a panic. The water was scalding his hand and Bebo grabbed some of my clean clothes for him to wrap around his hand as he tried to turn off the valve. I made frantic calls to my cousins who are plumbers. Brother number one didn’t answer. Brother number two did. And laughed. “Go turn off the hot water at the water heater” he gasped when he could. Huh? That’s too obvious, right? Of course that worked. Water was everywhere; a small lake in the middle of the dining room. Cavin was soaked.
Fast forward to me unpacking; I came across a small box that perplexed me. I could have sworn that I had left it on the bathroom counter. I put it on my bar and waited for Bebo to get there. “What is this?” I said as she came in the door. “It’s a light bulb” she answered. “No, it’s not just a light bulb. It’s a garage door opener bulb.” She stared at me. “I left it there on purpose as it’s quite obvious that I don’t have a garage door.” Bebo is a real good packer. In fact, Bebo is a terrific packer. She packs all sorts of things that I wouldn’t need. Like the cover to the smoke alarm in the study at home. What am I going to do with that?
So see, it wasn’t all tears and sorrow, there was laughter involved. Some funny memories to start my new life with.
Oh no!!! I wrote this last night, but was having problems with the internet and kept closing down the computer and rebooting. In the meantime, word, of course, went bye bye and I forgot all about it! Sorry I'm late.
Well we’re here and we sorta have internet. This is the same problem that I was having before I moved. It’s the laptop, refusing to hook up to the router. It also keeps telling me that a network cable is unplugged? Huh? There’s no cable hooked up to it, nor has there ever been. Oh well. Also, at about 8:00 p.m. to 9:00 p.m. it refuses to hook up at all. When my money comes in from the house sale I’m going to have to have it looked at.
The move was traumatic for the cats. First, BooBear was closed up in the bathroom. Bubba and Aidan were put in the Master bedroom and then when the guest room was cleared out, they were moved there. Bubba does not like to be closed up in a room without a human, but we had to do it to keep them from running out the propped open front door. We made a couple of runs from the house to the apartment. We were so tired that we decided to get the cats, go home and then come back the next day to finish up. My niece and her husband were coming to pick up and store the things for my brother so we had to be there anyway. I took a last look around in the closets and noticed something way back on the shelf in the Master. It was a small box. I took it down, opened it up and cried. You see, my mother had this habit of buying gifts, hiding them and then forgetting about them. She’d obviously bought this before the Alzheimer’s set in. I knew it was for me – it was a Purrfect Friends cat tile. It’s beautiful. I didn’t have long to linger over it as the crowd arrived to pick up Dave’s stuff. Then they were gone. Bebo and I put the last few things in our cars and I sent Bebo ahead so I could take a last look around the house alone. It echoed around me and in those echoes I could hear laughter and tears; in the rooms ghosts reached out to me. I stopped at the wall that separated the den from the kitchen. Resting my hand on the paneling, I stood for a moment. You see, when we moved in there, the paneling wasn’t on this particular section of wall. This was where my parent’s measured my growth with penciled lines on the wall. They were still there, underneath the paneling dad installed in the mid-80s. Stepping outside, I looked at the sidewalk my dad put in around that time, the sidewalk where he wrote our names: David (my brother’s step-son), James, Eric, Jenni Lynn and me. I said goodbye to the feral cats – especially Little One, the most friendly. Locking the house, I went next door to say goodbye to Gwen (having said goodbye to Debbie the day before). And then I got in my car, backed out of the drive and stopped at the sound of a shout. The man across the street stepped out from his garage and waved “goodbye”. The people on the corner did the same thing. Ernie on the corner called me over and I stopped. He said goodbye, gave me a hug and sent me on my way. I cried most of the way to the apartment. BooBear was still hiding – on Saturday he had found the bed and crawled under it, not coming out until dark and then back under Sunday morning. He was still under the bed, but Aidan was no longer hissing at Bubba. Bubba took the move just fine, exploring and jumping in boxes. Now a week later, they are all doing fine and adjusting to the constraints of the loss of running room.
I’ll tell you more about the move and the new apartment next time.
I'm closing down the computers for the move and will be off-line until Monday or Tuesday (fingers crossed because you know how "they" like to mess with my internet).
Friday night will be my last night in this house. I'm feeling a bit melancholy tonight. Mostly, I think, because of what this house symbolized. You see, once there was a family of six, now there are three. Once there were family gatherings with in-laws and grandchildren and gr-grandchildren and aunts and uncles and cousins. Now there is only Bebo and I. Once there was a little girl with dreams. Now most of those dreams have slipped by.
Now there will be new dreams, new memories. But I'll always remember that once there was a family. Once.
McCartney and Lennon said it best:
There are places I remember All my life, though some have changed Some forever not for better Some have gone and some remain All these places had their moments With lovers and friends I still can recall Some are dead and some are living In my life I've loved them all
First off, let me say that I am very excited about the future. I am by no means ignoring the things ahead of me. I’m just taking this time to say goodbye to something that has been a haven for me for the last 39 years. This is my closure.
So here are the lasts that I am happy about:
This is the last time I’ll have to struggle with the gate to the alley.
The last time I’ll have to struggle with the sliding glass door that is off its track and difficult because of the shifting foundation.
The last time I’ll have to worry about how I’m going to get the lawn mowed.
The last time I’ll have to deal with those ugly squiggly plant things that fall off of the tree every spring.
Speaking of the tree, it’s the last time I’ll have to deal with the web worms.
The last time I’ll have to put up with things not working.
The last time that I’ll have to watch a bad cable connection and not be able to do anything about it because it’s the lines my father split off from the main line.
I won’t have to clean a three bedroom, two living area, two bath home ever again.
No more messing with a broken garage door.
I have a fireplace, so I won’t have to freeze my butt off next winter because I can’t afford to run the furnace.
I won’t have to put up with those barking dogs next door. Don’t get me wrong, dogs are okay – it’s just these dogs I don’t like.
I won’t ever have to look at the mess that my neighbor has made of her home and yard. She’s a nice lady, but a bit on the trashy side.
This is my last week in the house, so indulge me a little as I spend some time saying goodbye. There are a lot of "lasts" that I'll be experiencing here. The last time I'll close that door, the last time I'll open that cabinet, the last time ... While I'm excited about my new apartment, I'm also sad about leaving my home of almost 39 years. A lot has happened here, laughter as well as tears. Parties, goodbyes, hellos - I grew from child, to adolescent, to adult in this house. A great many people who are no longer with me have crossed its threshold. Their memories all live not only within me, but within these walls. Wedding showers, baby showers, graduation, birthday and anniversary parties. Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, Memorial Day, Fourth of July, Labor Day, New Years Eve. Oh, the parties we would have. The house filled with people, laughter, conversation, love. Mostly, laughter. My mother and my father both died IN this house. The smells, the sounds - every creek and groan of the house, will be missed. The other day I experienced one of my "last". I woke up that morning to snow, and as I stood there taking pictures I realized that this would be my last snow in this house.
See that tree? My dad planted that tree. My maternal grandmother held it in the hole as he shoveled in dirt. My nephews swung from it. It has shaded me and this house for 25 years. I'll miss it too.
First, the winner of the signed copy of The Heart of the Renegade is Dru!!!! Send me your snail mail address and I'll get it sent off to Loreth.
The answer:
Jacques Sauvage Hunter McBride Rafiq Zayed December Ngomo Grant McDonough Luke Stone and I would even have accepted Dr. Emily Carlin
Now, on to spam.
I changed my male machine length now it’s your turn. (I’m not touching your male machine.) Perfectly crafted luxury pieces. (Not anymore) Brandy be screen saver for you. (She will? Awww, how sweet.) Please do not view. (If Brandy is going to be my screen saver, you can bet I’m going to view.) Take bachelors very fast. (You betcha!) Do you love FREE stuff? (No, I’d much rather pay for it. Sheesh) There are only a few days left. Are you ready? (No!! I haven’t seen Ireland yet!) Sucks huh. (Sucks isn’t the word for it.)
I haven't done one of these in a long time. Today I’m giving away a signed copy of The Heart of a Renegade, the latest in the Shadow Soldiers series by Loreth Ann White. I’m reading this book right now (in between packing for the move) and am enjoying it immensely. Once again, Loreth has transported me to another place and into the lives of two interesting people. Here’s the blurb from the back:
Luke Stone was alone. And he liked it that way. An ex-bodyguard, sworn never to protest again after his last failure, Luke needed no one. Until he met Jessica Chan.
A journalist with a dark past, Jessica had uncovered deadly information that made her a target. And only Luke stood between her and certain death. She was everything he didn’t want: a woman who attracted trouble … and attracted him. But as assassins closed in and emotions ran high, Jessica might become everything he needed …
So what do you have to do to win this book? Simple, you go to Loreth’s webpage and find out the names of all of the Shadow Soldiers and then email them to me at baileystewart at baileystewart dot net. I will draw a name from the correct responses. Please, do not post your answers here. You have until 9:00 pm CST Thursday, March 6. Good luck.
Some readers prefer heroes to use condoms while others say the dose of reality kills all the spontaneity and romance. It’s a debate that repeats all over romance land—to use condoms or not to use condoms—since, after all, it is only fiction…
New Zealand erotic romance author, Shelley Munro took this a step further in her upcoming release Fancy Free, the story of an accountant who inherits a condom company. When Ms. Munro caught an Air New Zealand flight from San Francisco, she came across an advertising article about a new condom on the market. The ideas flowed and by the time she landed in Auckland, she’d outlined her plot for Fancy Free.
It’s not every day a girl inherits a condom company, and to say accountant, Alice Beasley is astonished and out of her depth is putting it mildly. For an almost virgin, she needs a quick education in all things condom because her inheritance is in danger. Someone is intent on sabotage and playing nasty, trying to destroy her new company.
Alice is suddenly getting down and dirty with charismatic James, the factory manager, all in the name of business, testing new condom designs. The sex is hot. Mind-blowing. It’s a dark thrill and an erotic journey. Yeah, it’s a hard job but a girl’s got to do what a girl’s gotta do.
The testing turns personal. Alice wants James. She craves his talented touch and sultry kisses, she desires passion and physical pleasure on a permanent basis but first she must convince bad boy James to give up his fancy free ways.
Note: condoms were tested and a few harmed during the writing of this story.
Fancy Free releases on 7 March 2008 from Ellora’s Cave and is Ms. Munro’s eighteenth release from the pioneer erotic romance publisher.
From the time Shelley Munro was a little girl living in New Zealand, she wanted to be a detective. She read all the Famous Five mysteries by Enid Blyton before graduating to Nancy Drew and the Hardy Boys. Her favorite television viewing was Scooby Doo where she, in her invisible guise, helped Scooby solve the crime.
As happens with children, Shelley grew up and boys distracted her from childhood dreams. She found one she really liked and married him, traveling the world at his side until returning to settle in New Zealand to write hot and spicy tales for Ellora’s Cave, some of which contain the odd body or two.
Publishing Notes: Title: Fancy Free Author: Shelley Munro Publisher: Ellora’s Cave ISBN: 9781419913341 Release Date: 7 March 2008 Genre: Contemporary erotic romance Setting: Present day New Zealand
Alicia started her company, Fancy Free on a whim—a business to occupy her time and keep her old school friends busy. Many of Sloan’s residents considered Fancy Free a strange business, and some were plain shocked, but Alicia didn’t believe in following conventions. Condoms were something she knew about. She’d researched them enough, heck, she’d even used a few in her time. Condoms were her passion, and so condoms were what her company produced. On her death, she left her precious company to her god-daughter Alice Beasley.
A snippet from Alicia’s collection of condom notes:
One size does not fit all. Correct condom use is critical in preventing unwanted pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases, yet an Indiana study found many men reported problems with the fit and feel of condoms. The range of condom sizes is limited yet men come in all shapes and sizes.
21% of men in the study reported the condoms were too tight. 18% of the men in the study reported the condoms felt too short. 10% of the men in the study reported the condoms felt too loose. 7% of the men in the study reported the condoms felt too long.
Alicia’s Notes – look at providing condoms in varied sizes.
Source: Indiana University (2007, September 19) Condoms are Not ‘One Size Fits All’. Science Daily.
Get your copy of FANCY FREE, an erotic romance about condoms by Shelley Munro, from Ellora’s Cave on March 7, 2008. To read an excerpt visit http://www.shelleymunro.com/coming-soon
So I was going to blog about the Oscars, but realized that I didn't know a lot about any of the movies nominated this year. I'm still going to watch it, because I'm an Oscar freak. George Clooney is nominated, but I've heard that the probable winner will be Daniel Day Lewis, darnit. One of my favorite parts of the show is the memoriam to those actors/actresses who have died in the past Oscar year (March 2007 thru February 2008). Don't ask me why - I've always been a celebrity obituary gal. Morbid, I know. My family calls me the obit lady. I've been called worse. Anway, here is my own personal in memoriam - because of space limitations I could only include the most famous ones. I'll be watching closely tonight to see who they leave out. I'm like that. I once wrote the Academy an email in protest because they left someone off of the list. Oscar Geek alert! So, will you/did you watch the Oscars?
VoluminousSchlongWilma (Wilma has a voluminous schlong? And I can’t even get volume in my hair …) ErectileOrganGrandAhmed (Supercalifragulisticexpealidocious) Can I get out of debt? (I don’t know, can you?) We don’t advertise, we advise. (Well I advise that you advertise your non-advertisement) Hot wild nights of pleasure await you. (Hugh? Hugh is that you?) You’ve been picked to fill out surveys for cash – month of February. (Oh, I’m good at that, aren’t I Marty?) Those locker room stares will be for the right reason. (The simple fact that I’m in a locker room would be enough to stare.) With no particular (No particular what? No particular reason to be in a locker room?) Your neighbors lost their alarm clock. (Oh, they lost their alarm clock for no particular reason. That’s what you were trying to say.) Talk to me now! (I didn’t do it. An insane dog enters my yard and digs those holes.)
Also, Jason Evans is having another short fiction contest, this one is called "Whispers". Head on over to his blog and have a go at it.
This is a better picture of Apryl:
