Thursday, November 16, 2006

Fuzzy is Brilliant

Fuzzy: I studied the books people read and I have figured out everything that discerning, intelligent readers want in a book. I shall now write that book. It will be called Harry Da Vinci's Rings. It will follow Young Harry, a Hogwart's Symbologist, as he fights Orcs in the Hills of New Zealand.
Satchel: I don't want to read that.
Fuzzy: I said it was for discerning, intelligent readers.
Rob: Yeah, I wouldn't read it either.
Fuzzy: OK, again, it's not for you two.

I think this might work. I've decided to change my WIP: A Southern Belle, Harlot, meets our roguish hero, Gent, at the verge of the Civil War. It's instant attraction, enough sparks flying to light up the darkest of nights, or maybe it's just the bright pink glow-in-the-dark vibrator. One night, they discover a body in the wine cellar and instantly suspect the butler, who keeps running around the plantation yelling about birthin' babies. The mystery takes them to Ireland, where they meet a leprachaun and a ghost, who teaches Harlot how to make drapes out of a ball gown. After fighting the Banshees and solving the murder, Harlot exclaims that she will never go to Hungary again, at which point Gent points out that she's never been there at all. Thinking that they made quite a pair, Gent asks Harlot to be his forever, at which point Harlot turns to him and says "Bite Me."

I think I'll call it Gone to Get a Clue in the Heart of the Sea

I've even got a new pen name: Margaret Jill Roberts

25 comments:

Joely Sue Burkhart said...

*giggles* That glow in the dark dildo gets me every single time!!!

christa said...

I can see it being on the NY Bestseller list.

catslady said...

Did you get Jill's permission roflmao.

Brandy said...

Hahaha! That glow in the dark thingie sure does get around!!

Saskia Walker said...

LOL Love it. I think Christa may be right ;)

Bailey Stewart said...

Working a 9 - 5 today folks - back to the old grind. But let's have a little fun with this (and see if anyone reads all of the comments) - if you could combine three books into one great story, what three would you use?

Bailey Stewart said...

Christa calls me her Queen, which means she's often right. *gg*

Sandy J said...

This was hysterical! Still wiping the tears out of my eyes.

Give me time to think of one of my own...but there is no way I can come up with anything funnier.

Bernita said...

"make drapes out of a ball gown"
~chokes~
Priceless.

Melissa Marsh said...

Oh boy...three books into one? I wouldn't know where to even start!

Meretta said...

I'm chuckling. I have some old ballgowns kicking around that would make lovely drapes!

Tori Lennox said...

I think you're on to something here! Must think about this...

Susan said...

This is hysterical! It would definitely make the make you a best seller. :)

christa said...

A Decadent Texas Family Reunion Holiday Confession by Suzanne Judy Winston.

Jordan Summers said...

*g*

Joely Sue Burkhart said...

I'm putting mine up on my blog!

Kris said...

LOL!!!!!!!! I love it!!!

Siobhan said...

*vbg* Great to read before toddling off to bed. Yay! It's Friday tomorrow. Take care, Bailey and g'night from a rain-soaked Wales!

Lis said...

*g* Sounds like an instant best seller, can I reserve my copy now? :o)

christa said...

I have been thinking more about this all day(my life is so exciting) that now I am going to try this with 4 books.
The Decadent Unexpected Millionaire from Out Of This World has Got The Look. The author's name can be Suzanne Mallery Shalvis Kelly
A man is discovered died in his room at a B&B in Alaska after visiting a gentlemen's club. The (Kane is a security expert) and the h(Ally who recently inherited the B&B) discover that it was murder involving Viagara. The H has also made some good investment over the years and can probably retire in about 5 years.

bebo said...

OMG you were right, this was the giggle I needed today!!

Um... Get a Winter Storm Front Soltice Clue...

by Jamie Rosamund Shalvis

Bailey Stewart said...

A murder involving Viagara? Why, that won't hold up in court. They'd erect a sound defense and crush that hard evidence in minutes, or hours, or days .... oops, days - call the doctor.

Give me a break - I just got home from work and it's freezing in this house.

Bailey Stewart said...

Told ya - um, Bebo? What's a Soltice? LOL

Jill said...

Okay, but I get a mention in the dedication, lol ...

ruby55 said...

Cute,cute, cute!

Yep, an NY bestseller. Huh, I didn't even catch "make drapes out of ballgowns". The law of expectations. Or is it just that I still don't have my glasses?

This is definitely for you writer types to figure out. My brain is *not* functioning today. Duh! So, what else is new?