Monday, November 06, 2006

Things You Don't Want to Hear During Surgery

- Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy.
- Someone call the janitor - we're going to need a mop.
- Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness!
- Spot! Spot! Come back with that! Bad Dog!
- Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that?
- Hand me that...uh...that...uh.....thingie.
- Oh no! I just lost my Rolex.
- Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived 500ml of this stuff before?
- Darn, there go the lights again...
- You know, there's big money in kidneys. Heck, the guy's got two of them.
- Everybody stand back! I lost my contact lens!
- Could you stop that thing from beating; it's throwing my concentration off.
- What do you mean he wasn't in for a sex change...!
- Anyone see where I left that scalpel?
- This patient has already had some kids, am I correct?
- Nurse, did this patient sign the organ donor card?
- Don't worry; I think it's sharp enough.
- What do you mean "You want a divorce"!
- She's gonna blow! Everyone take cover!!!

16 comments:

Brandy said...

Hahahahaha!! These crack me up!

Loreth Anne White said...

I guess this is what happens if the anesthetic doesn’t kick in, huh?

Shirley said...

Oh my! I'm so glad I'm not about to go for surgery. These are so funny (so long as you're not going for surgery in the near future). :o)

Bernita said...

Enough to make you flat-line immediately.

Sandy J said...

I just spit my coffee all over the keyboard! This is GOOD! Will have to share that with some of my medical friends.

Jill said...

LOL, good for Monday morning!

Susan said...

These had me laughing! Good to know you still have a great sense of humor after the 'Boys loss.

Meretta said...

Those are funny. In a very BAD way!

I hope you're feeling better, Bailey!

Siobhan said...

I had my surgery under an epidural but the anaesthetises kept chatting to me so I wouldn't hear what the surgeons were saying. It was totally surreal. I really would have freaked if I'd heard any of your quotes. *vbg* Hope your cold is better, Bailey.

Dru said...

OMG! Those are too funny. Thanks for the laugh.

Toni Anderson said...

LOL. I'd have to say I wouldn't want to hear anything during surgery!!

catslady said...

Good ones.

Steelers lost again - guess I'm going to have to give up on them :(

Hope you feel better soon.

Bailey Stewart said...

What do you mean he wasn't in for a sex change...!

That's my favorite.

Dennie McDonald said...

swear to god - I was in the dentist chair - seventeen years old - getting my braces adjusted when the dentist FIRED his Hygenist right then and there - talk about uncomfortable!

Shesawriter said...

- What do you mean he wasn't in for a sex change...!

Loved it!

Carol said...

OMG! Those are just so funny!