Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Still More Voices in My Head

Whatcha doin’?

Watching Bailey.

Why are you watching the cat?

No, Bailey the writer, not Baileyboo the cat.

I’m confused.

Think about how the cat feels.

So, what is the princess doing now?

Sitting at the computer.

She’s cussing.

Of course she is. She’s reading her current WIP.

I’ve never tried that with a whip.

No, her WIP. Work.In.Progress. The story she’s currently working on, you moron.

Well it’s been so long, excuse me for forgetting.

Oh, wait. Now she’s typing. Yes, she broke a nail.

And that’s a good thing?

Sure it is. Means she’s writing.

Doesn’t make the ladies on TV happy when they break a nail. In fact, you’d think they’d broken a leg or something.

That’s because they’re not real.

They’re not?

We’ve been over this. No. They’re no more real than you or I.

Oh come on. You’re pulling my leg.

We’re not real.

Yes we are.

No we’re not.

Yes we are.

No. Why am I arguing with you? You’re not real.

Then what am I?

You’re a figment of her imagination.

You’d think she could imagine something better.

I’ve wondered the same thing.

But you’re not real either.

Yeah, but at least I have a little common sense.

Not the only thing about you that’s common.

Excuse me?

Oh look! She laughed.

Must have been something funny she wrote.

Either that, or she has gas.

That’s for babies.

Are they real?

Sometimes.

You know, she’s going to make us real.

Where’d you hear that.

At the watercooler.

What watercooler?

Over in heroland.

How many times have I told you not to hang out around there. Too much testosterone for you.

They’re fun. And they let me fetch their water for them.

They let you … hold on, you’re no waterboy.

But I feel like I belong. Why just the other day, this hero named Scott let me shine his shoes. With my own spit. And shine them with my hair.

How pathetic are you?

About that much.

So, we’re going to be real.

Uh huh. Comic relief I think they called it.

Stoolies?

Huh?

Stooges?

Um …

Fall guys?

This doesn’t sound too good, does it?

I think we’d better talk to her.

Think she’d listen to us?

Not in a million years.

Man, we’re in trouble.

18 comments:

glenice said...

OHHH I am the first :)

I can not believe those two! Why are my voices NEVER that funny! LOL

Congrats...writing again :) that is so awesome!

I notice this morning that you have changed your profile...it is so different...

Oh and I think I have your Birthday present ready...well actually I think it will be your Christmas Present...I will have to get something else for you birthday :) Damn...should have done that while I was there!!! Oh well!

Loreth Anne White said...

Aaaaaah... the people are back in Bailey's head!!! LOL. This I see as a very good thing :).

Now you have to fess up .. when is your birthday??

Bailey Stewart said...

Glenice - Yes, it felt a little odd taking the Alzheimer's out. Birthday present? Wow, I think that's the only one I'll be getting. LOL

Loreth - the people haven't been gone from my head, just getting around to writing them down. My birthday? Hint: We wish you a Merry Christmas, we wish you a Merry Christmas, we wish you a Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year. (And it's not New Years.) My mother's name was Mary and my father was a carpenter. Honestly. Enough hints?

Sandy J said...

Hahahahahaha!
I think we need to worry when the voices stop!

Wow! Is your birthday Dec 25th??? How cool is that!

Bailey Stewart said...

Um ... Yep!

Bailey Stewart said...

On both statements.

Dennie McDonald said...

LOL - as long as they still wanna talk to you right - mine are being rather tight-lipped as of late darn it!

Susan said...

I love those two! LOL

It's so good to hear you are getting back to your writing.

I'm a December baby too, the 13th. I always thought the nicest people were born that month! ;)

Tori Lennox said...

LOL! Characters can be SO pushy!!!

Toni Anderson said...

My voices aren't funny either :) I wish they were ;)

I looked at my current heroine's profile--written about 8 years ago and guess what day she was born???

Stacy Dawn said...

LOL. Popping in to say Hi

Carol said...

I always enjoy listening to the people! lol

Siobhan said...

LOL. I LOVE those two too. *vbg* Glad to hear you're writing again. Bye for now from an exhausted Siobhan. :-(

Lis said...

lmao!! I love these two :o) Reminds me a bit of the bell commericials up here in Canada.

catslady said...

Love the voices.

Did you ever feel like you missed out on birthday or was it special?

Bailey Stewart said...

I'm glad y'all like the voices - they're driving me crazy! I could practically do one a day.

Jeanne - only in the last couple of years. Mother always made sure that I had a birthday. My presents were to be wrapped in birthday wrapping, no Christmas birthday cake and my siblings were expected to give me a birthday present and a Christmas present. She told them that I got them both and I deserved no less (unless it was a big present - like the entertainment unit that my brother bought me one year). I always had a birthday party - yes, it might be on Christmas Day, but it wasn't part of the meal or morning present opening. Sometimes I'd get little gifts on June 25 (my half-birthday). As long as mom was able, this is how it was. Then when she started getting sick, I had to buy my own birthday cakes (although Bebo has seen to that the last couple of years after I complained). I'm really lucky. My uncle's birthday is on December 18 and he never had a birthday until he married my aunt.

Brandy said...

Yay You're writing again!!
Your muses (voices) are hilarious.

Dru said...

This is so funny.