Deja Vu all over again

Well I was trying to figure out a title for tonight’s blog and thought of “This and That” and then I realized I had already used it, so it would be like “Déjà vu all over again”. So that’s where the post title came from.

The only thing I have to add about the apartment is the chimes that I bought at Scarborough Faire. I tried to take a picture of them the day that I shot the patio, but they didn’t show up at all against the cloudy sky, so I had to wait until a sunny day. Even then, they still don’t show up well unless you click and enlarge the picture. The colors aren’t right – I don’t know why the camera isn’t displaying them right. They are leaves and they are a rusty color and a light green. Very pretty and the sound they make is beautiful.

Oh, wait, I do have this wall between the bedroom and bathroom. This is my tribute to dad. And yes, that is a real December 8, 1941 newspaper in that frame.





I had a bit of disconcerting news this weekend. My Aunt Alice was in the hospital. It seems she’ll be okay, but it still scared me. Mom was the first on her side to pass away, and the first death since her mother died in 1980. We’ve been very lucky there. In my lifetime we’ve lost my grandparents and an aunt-in-law, uncle-in-law, and then mom. That’s it. On dad’s side there’s the grandparents, dad, two of his brothers, three of his sisters, and six in-laws. Plus two cousins. So you see how unnerved I became to have first my mother’s brother in the hospital a couple of weeks ago, my aunt, and then to find out today that the oldest was in the hospital too. Confused yet? Anyway, they’re all getting up there and it’s only a matter of time before mom’s side begins to drop, for loss of another way to phrase it. It was the elders that have kept the family together, and as they die, or move away, it’s like we’re all “breaking” up. We no longer have family get-togethers like we did when I was growing up. We probably never will. Dad had 2 brothers and 1 sister living here when he died. Now one of the brothers has moved back to Iowa to live with his daughter, and his sister is moving to Alaska to live with her daughter. That just leaves my Uncle Kenny, and he doesn’t live in town – I haven’t seen him since 2006. In fact, I’ve hardly seen any of my extended family since mother died. And except for my Aunt Alice and one cousin, mother’s family doesn’t live here. I guess I’m just feeling a bit nostalgic this weekend. You see, I woke up Sunday morning with the realization that it was Howard’s birthday. It wasn’t anything I thought about, I just knew when I woke up without thinking about the date. Happy Birthday Howard. He would have been 56. Bebo and I talked about him for a little bit today. The date hadn’t gotten past her either. I saw my niece in March, which was the first time I’d seen her since 2006. And my nephews? Haven’t seen them since mom died either. It doesn’t bother me unless a holiday is coming up. And next weekend is Memorial Day. We got together every Memorial Day to celebrate both Howard’s and my dad’s birthdays (May 31). And now it’s just another day. They’re all pretty much just another day.

Egads, I’m so morose. Excuse me. Let’s end this with something funny, okay?

But do they bloom??? I wonder if they come in different colors? I wonder about the fragrance?I wonder if it would help to put those preservative packets in the water? I wonder if they bloom?I wonder whether they would look better on the kitchen table or in the entry? I wonder if they're cheaper by the dozen?I wonder if they come in long-stemmed?

Captured at 115th and Allisonville Rd. in Fishers (Indianapolis). The sign is real and was up for two hours before someone stopped and told them how to spell PE O NI ES

Spam on a Stick

We caught you naked in shower baileystewart. (Norman? Norman Bates, is that you?)
Video with a naked celebrity Gallery for baileystewart. (Oooh, Hugh, George, Orlando, Johnny, Matthew, …)
World of clocks. (Let me guess, they have a little dirt on them?)
Good afternoon, I have a good software. (Damn! I was looking for bad software!)
hello from denise (Um, Dennie, have you forgotten your capitals?)
Holy moly, that’s huge. (I know, for a writer that’s a big one.)
your payment didn’t succeed, so your ads have been suspended. (You mean those “Hugh Look at Me!” billboards? Sheesh!)
I went to the panty shop! (You’re much too excited about that.)
Some men won’t learn. (Well, you can’t teach an old dog …)

And Even More

Here's my front hall. That's my pewter spoon collection, and on both sides of it are Irish pictures, of course.

This is the view of the kitchen from the living room.

Here's one side of my kitchen

Here's the other. Like we said, it's small. That's the washer and dryer area in the back.

And here is the bathroom in all of it's glory. Well, most of it's glory. I didn't think you wanted a picture of the toilet itself. LOL

This is the end of the bathroom. Yes, the toilet is to the left. This is the curtain that Bebo got me for a house warming.

Here's a close up? I was trying to get the curtain rings. Maybe if you click it will be larger. Anyway, they match the curtain.

Okay Susan, here's my patio.

This is in my kitchen. It belonged to my maternal grandmother, so it's special to me.

This is also in the kitchen, above the archway to the laundry area. This is the plaque that I talked about earlier, the one that we found in my mother's closet tucked in the back of the shelves. It was my mother's last gift to me.

For Susan

The Living Room





The picture above the fireplace is a family tree that my cousin drew in charcoal, with the frame made by my uncle. Actually, the cousin and uncle are on my dad's side, but the tree is my mother's side. That's Irish stuff on the mantle. I don't have ceiling fans, so I have to have standing fans, kinda spoils the decor. LOL



This is a close-up of the little table in the corner. It's my little bit of nostalgia.



My entertainment center. I have one more picture to frame and get hung, then it's finished.

My big ol' chair (with Aidan in it) and my new couch. The door at the end goes out to the patio.

That's it so far. I'll get the kitchen and the bedroom for Wednesday. Does this satisfy you for a bit? Oh, if you click on the picture, you get a close-up view.

Spam on the Go

Good afternoon. (It's morning you moron)
What are you up to? (Oh, about 5'3")
Nobody has ever presented you with such a New Year's gift. (New Year's already? Where did the year go?)
Video with a naked celebrity Gallery for baileystewart. (There's only one celebrity I would like to see naked. But that will never happen)
Improbably things happen too. (Thank you Mr. Jiminy Cricket)
You won't believe! It's incredible! (From spam? Nothing would surprise me.)
You should be satisfied with your penis. (Yeah, well, I was hoping that the rest of him would be here too.)
That's a Teenie Weenie! (Then obviously it isn't his ...)

Friday is just another day, or Thank God it's NOT Friday!

What? No pictures? Well, you see, it's kinda like this. The apartment didn't get ready this weekend. I know, I know. You see, the best made plans and so forth. I have three large boxes to unpack and a desk to de-clutter. I could have done that on Friday, the day I'd planned to have it done, but my Friday didn't go exactly as planned. The day started well enough, no harbinger rang out to warn me of the trouble ahead. And it was trouble. With a capitol "T". BAck in October of '06 was the last time that the hide-a-bed was used, by Glenice as a matter of fact. Even though she was the last to sleep on it, I knew she'd want fresh sheets. I opened the couch to take the old ones off and was met with a horrendous smell. Reek was more like it. And the covers were stuck to the metal frame. What the hell? I pried the blanket loose and the smell got worse. It was everywhere. I managed to get the sheets and blanket loose and off, then proceeded to pull the mattress out to the patio, where I sprayed it with some freshening stuff. I threw the blankets and sheets into the washing machine and prayed that they'd get clean. Then I turned my attention to the couch. I couldn't help it. You could smell it all through the apartment. What had happened? It looked like it had somehow gotten wet. I figure that BooBear, in his perpetual quest for a clean litter box, had somehow peed down the back of the cushions. Yet this smell was not evident UNTIL I opened the hide-a-bed. I sprayed down the mattress support and the couch. Then I went to work on the bar with a brillo pad to see if I could get the rust (or what I thought was rust) off of there. By this time the washing machine had gone into the final spin cycle and the thing became over balanced. I tried to fix it, but the blanket and stuff wouldn't cooperate. So I did what I used to do at home, just leaned on it until the cycle was through. Took the stuff out and threw it in the dryer, then loaded the washing machine with towels and bath rugs. Went back to work on the bed, taking the cushions outside and spraying them, spraying the mattress again for good measure. Came back into the house, did a few things and then went to put some trash away in the kitchen. The kitchen floor was flooded. Yeah, you heard me. Flooded. Water pouring out from beneath the washing machine. It took 4 1/2 big rolls of paper towels to wipe it up. Luckily the load was done. Are you with me so far? Yeah, thought so. It was at this time that I thought that a daquiri was in order. The outcome? The couch had to be thrown out - loaded with fungus and mold. Replacement luckily found by accident at a garage sale for $40. With a $70 slipcover, it was taken care of. The washer? Glenice pulled it out a bit, climbed up and looked behind and re-connected the hose that had come loose when the washer had gone into it's shimmying (sp?) overload dance. That was my Friday. May it never come again.

Hey

Can't you see I'm busy here? Oh, you can't? Well, I am. Glenice and I are about to watch Van Helsing because we're both feeling the need for Hugh. So, to keep you occupied here's another YouTube laugh (I'll be back on Wednesday). Have fun!!

OMG Spam

Once again, I almost forgot to blog. Sheesh. Here at the last minute is Friday's spam. Enjoy, and have a great weekend. I know I will because Glenice arrives Friday night!!! WhooHoo!!!!!

I bet you’ve never seen anything like this! (You’d be surprised)
Land of strong mans. (You’re right, I’ve never seen that. Do they book weekend rooms?)
We caught you naked baileystewart. (Lucky you.)
There’s a Party in My Pants! (And you’re worried about me being naked?)
Here comes the smears. (Oh don’t worry. Everything I say is true.)
Attract the mate of your dreams. (Does he come from the Land of strong mans?)
Up to you. I know. (It’s always up to me. Where have you been?)
Don’t you agree to be sick! (I’m not the one that caught me naked.)
HiramBigDick. (Kimosabe)

Happy Birthday Aidan

imikimi - Customize Your World

Tuesday, um, okay ...

In case you weren’t aware of it, it’s Tuesday night, which means I have to come up with a blog. Right. You see, that’s the hard part. I can’t think of anything. I’m still getting the apartment ready for Glenice’s visit this weekend (at which time, said apartment should be ready for picture taking). I have to start the big job search after that. Bubba is having a better love life than I am. And believe me, that sucks. Not only does he have his girlfriend Apryl, but now Taylor the Sex Kitten is after him. I don’t know how I feel about that. Bubba and loose women? Aidan and BooBear can’t seem to find girlfriends, which amuses Bubba because they’re considered the two beauties of the bunch and he’s, well, he’s Bubba the red-necked kitty. And he’s the one with a girlfriend. Go figure.

I hope you are having a wonderful hump day, and that everyone you love and care about are healthy and happy.

Here’s your YouTube laugh:

Just Wondering

Main Entry: blog
Pronunciation:
\ˈblȯg, ˈbläg\
Function: noun
Etymology: short for Weblog
Date: 1999
: a Web site that contains an online personal journal with reflections, comments, and often hyperlinks provided by the writer
— blog•ger noun
— blog•ging noun

Yep. That’s what ol’ Webster’s says. A website – yep, got that; online personal journal – um, not lately; reflections, comments and often hyperlinks provided by the writer. Yeah, right. We’re going to break that down further. But before we do so, I’d like to ask one little question. If the word blog is in the dictionary, how come when I type it into word that little squiggly “you spelled this wrong dummy” line appears under it?

Main Entry:
Web site
Function: noun
Date: 1992
: a group of World Wide Web pages usually containing hyperlinks to each other and made available online by an individual, company, educational institution, government, or organization

Hmmm, there we go with those hyperlinks. I’m an individual, and this is a World Wide Web page, so I guess in this case, blog is correct.

Main Entry:
jour•nal
Pronunciation: \ˈjər-nəl\
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English, service book containing the day hours, from Anglo-French jurnal, from jurnal, adjective, daily, from Latin diurnalis, from diurnus of the day, from dies day — more at DEITY
Date: 15th century
1 a: a record of current transactions; especially : a book of original entry in double-entry bookkeeping b: an account of day-to-day events c: a record of experiences, ideas, or reflections kept regularly for private use d: a record of transactions kept by a deliberative or legislative body.

Blah, de blah, de, an account of day-to-day events. Check. A record of experiences, ideas, or reflections kept regularly for private use. Ooookayyy, day-to-day: sort of, I mean Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Record of experiences: What experiences I do have because we know I’m really beyond boring. At this point, the definition seems to be right on the mark.

Main Entry:
re•flec•tion
Pronunciation: \ri-ˈflek-shən\
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English, alteration of reflexion, from Late Latin reflexion-, reflexio act of bending back, from Latin reflectere
Date: 14th century
6: a thought, idea, or opinion formed or a remark made as a result of meditation
7: consideration of some subject matter, idea, or purpose

Meditation? I don’t meditate. And I rarely put any consideration in my thoughts. I say what I mean without a lot of editing (you know, those four letter bad words).

So, we have a group of World Wide Web pages by an individual, where said individual shares their thoughts and feelings, opinions, ideas, etc. in a journal like fashion.

Yep, I’ve done that. Really. If you check back in archives I have expressed feelings. I have shared ideas. I have used hyperlinks like these. I have even … Oh heck, here’s a YouTube thingy instead.

Spam and Such

Which ones really work? We list the Top Penis Enlargement products! (I’ve seen a lot of lists in my lifetime. But this one beats 'em all.)
baileystewart’s naked video. (As produced by Wes Craven.)
Enlarge your dummy length. (My dummy is long enough as it is.)
Men and women FREE INTERNATIONAL SHIPPING. (You mean I can have Hugh shipped here for free? Wow!)
Her heaving bosom pics. (I got rid of those years ago. The heaving bosoms, not the pics.)
Then with a gentle look you took my hand. (That wasn’t me. Honest.)
I love bargain hunting here. (For spam, there are no bargains here.)
Success is a fish that is pulled from an ocean. (Not for the fish.)
“I don’t know” he’d get mad and yell: “_ why _ don’t you know?” ( _ because you _ didn’t tell _ me?)
Be a PORN star for a day. (Can’t I be one in lower case?)


Look, Bubba has a girlfriend. Her name is Apryl and she lives in Houston. Aren't they cute?



imikimi - Customize Your World


This is a better picture of Apryl:



Here's what she made for her MySpace page (the one of them together was done by her too)



She says that Bubba is a sexy orange kitty. Bubba?

Oh my

I'm supposed to do a blog post, aren't I? Sorry, I got involved in reading and then the ceiling in my bathroom began to leak and I had to wait for maintenance, and now I'm rambling. Yep, it's been a rambling kinda day. Let's see, pictures. Yes Susan, there will be pictures. As soon as I finish getting the apartment all together and that will be soon since I'm having company the 2nd through the 5th. So for Glenice, it will be done. And don't tell me not to worry about it either, missy. I want this apartment put together, I just haven't had the incentive to do it - now I do. You, plus the party. Plus I need to get new batteries as the rechargable part of these has plum worn out. But there will be pictures. Are you satisfied Susan (and Joan, 'cuz I know you're lurking out there). Alas, there were no pictures taken of my braids. Funny how I seem to get out of having my picture taken. There is one though that my friend Sunshine, from work, managed to take of me at the Irish Festival in March. Here, are you satisfied? At least my five chins aren't showing. Savor it, 'cuz it will probably be the last one you see unless I lose a few more pounds.

Check out this video: Cutest Kitten ever



Add to My Profile | More Videos

This and That

First, a message from Jason Evans:

Dear Blog Friends,

Thank you all for being an amazing part of my blog experience and The Clarity of Night!

I'm writing tonight to announce the grand opening of a companion blog. It’s a candlelit place called Night Conversations (http://nightconversations.blogspot.com/). Here's the concept.

In important parts of our lives, many of us struggle with feelings of isolation, of being misunderstood. Night Conversations is a place where anonymous participants spend a evening with me talking and delving into those feelings. No advice. No judgment. Just a person who wants nothing more than to listen and understand.

Stop over and share the first of the Night Conversations with me. If you like what you see, I'd be grateful for any mention, or even a review, that you would be willing to do on your own blogs. I'd love to see Night Conversations spread like a more personal version of Post Secret.

The comfy chair is open for anyone out there who like to participate. Thanks!

--Jason Evans

Not a whole lot going on with me. I seem to have become the MySpace page designer of choice. LOL First I did Bebo's, then the Jill Shalvis Fan Page, then my cat Bubba (yes, Bubba has a page, want to see it? Click here. Now remember, you don't have to be a member of MySpace to look at his page.) Then my two pages, yes two. One for me and one for Bailey. Now my cousin Joan wants me to design her page. Maybe I need to start charging. LOL

Here's a little video for your Monday. Please excuse the first scene, but the rest is great - especially the talking cats.

Double Stoked

And not because this was Heath Ledger's last movie (completed that is). I loved Batman Begins, have it in my collection.

Thunder and Spam

Hi sweety! Remember me? (Nope.)
What’s so funny? (Just the thought of me missing spam.)
Just you and my rubber duckie. (Don’t get that duck near me!)
Most popular jang enlargement (A rubber duckie can … wait, I don’t want to know)
Bebo showcases at SXSW! (She does what?)
Check out this huge ass. (She’s going to get you for that.)
Don’t look! (Make up your mind. First I’m supposed to check it out, then I’m not supposed to look. Sheesh.)
Your academic qualification expired. (They’ll have to pry that diploma out of my cold, dead hands.)
Remember youth. (Barely)
When I was your age, we had eight inch floppies. (I’m sorry. Maybe you need a rubber duckie?)

Stoked

I'm so excited and here's why:



I can't wait until May 22!!!!

I also have some great news (for me). I have a new car!! Well, not new, it's a 2000, but it's newer than the POS Mazda that I was driving and in much better shape. It was Bebo's car. Saturday, she bought a new one and I was able to buy her Saturn SL2 from her. It's grey/silverish and it has a CD player! Okay, I miss my moon roof, but hey, a CD player people!

So, what's up with you? Is there a movie coming out that you're really excited about?

Book Addict

My name is Bailey Stewart and I’m a book addict. For about 2 years I have been on the straight and narrow, like a good book addict should. But on Saturday, April 12, I fell off the book mobile. I went to Borders. I had a gift certificate from Christmas that I had saved to buy the new Jim Butcher book.



I was only going to buy it and a non-fiction book or two. Yeah, and an alcoholic is only going to have one drink. I ended up spending about $175. Yes you read that right. Of course, a few were hardcovers which do cost more, but still … It really all started a couple of days ago when I was having a conversation with a customer. Somehow the subject of my history degree came up and she asked if I’d read any good history books lately. Ummm, no? I haven’t touched non-fiction for a couple of years. So I decided to correct this and pick up a couple of non-fiction tomes. Yeah, and there’s nothing mentally wrong with Brittany Spears. I did buy some fiction other than the Dresden book: Annette Blair’s My Favorite Witch and The Scot, the Witch and the Wardrobe; Lucy Monroe’s Three Brides for Three Bad Boys; Barbara Pierce’s Naughty by Nature. Also, CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: In Extremis by Ken Goddard, and a novel about Robert Frost, who is my favorite poet.

But it’s the non-fiction that I’m looking forward to reading.

So, how about you? What book did you buy last? What are you reading now? What book are you most looking forward to reading? Fiction vs. Non-fiction?

Another Spam, Another Dollar

The biggest butt! (Excuse me? Yours isn’t much better fella.)
After you open this letter you will need to purchase big condom. (What’s in it, magic seeds?)
Be damn good in it. (That would have to be one large condom.)
It was said on TV and written in magazines. (Well it must be true then.)
Whip out a huge pecker. (Oh no, Woody gone wild!)
Your next timepiece will be your companion for life. (I think this was meant for my neighbors.)
What an ass! (My neighbors or my big butt?)
Hello, this is a job offer from LUGANO. (Got benefits?)

In Reality

My name is Bailey Stewart and I'm a reality show addict. Really. Reality. Who'da thunk. I live in a world of dreams and fantasy, creating stories in my mind, and yet ... I'm drawn to these shows. Tuesday night is no exception. I have American Idol, followed by the results show of Dancing With the Stars. And then, something I've been waiting for ever since I first saw it advertised ... Secret Talents of the Stars. Yikes! I cringe and yet at the same time I am utterly fascinated, sort of like when I'm channel surfing and pause at Jerry Springer. Why? Where do they find these people? But I digress, Secret Talents of the Stars. Like Danny Bonaduce has nothing else to do. Oh wait, he doesn't. Here's CBS' official blurb:

SECRET TALENTS OF THE STARS, a weekly celebrity talent show that reveals the unknown talents of sixteen well-known personalities. Each week, celebrities will compete in a tournament-structured format to determine who has the BEST unknown talent. Each performer on SECRET TALENTS OF THE STARS will fulfill his/her dream by practicing, and then performing live. Each performance will be critiqued by three judges - but it's the viewers who get to vote for the celebrity that has impressed them the most. Each week, the "Viewer Vote" will determine which celebrities move on in the competition, and who will go home.

Got it? Okay, here's the celebs and their talents:

Joshua Morrow from The Young and the Restless. He'll juggle. WhooPee! *sigh* Oh, wait! It's rock and roll juggling. Huh?

Cindy Margolis, an actress and model will do magic. Be still my heart ...

Sasha Cohen, Olympic figure skater is secretly a contortionist. Who'da thunk?

Ray Jones, Jr., a boxer who thinks he can rap. We'll see.

Bridget Marquardt, a Playboy Bunny. Guess what? She can bungee jump and jump on a trampoline. That's a talent?

Clint Black (the first one listed that didn't need any introduction) is a stand-up comedian. Country Western music about loving and losing vs. comedy. This could be interesting.

Danny Bonaduce, child star who can't seem to ... um, let go. He can ride a unicycle. Didn't anybody watch Dancing With the Stars on Monday? So can Adam what's-his-name.

Sheila E., one of the most talented percussionist/drummers in the music world. She's got rhythm, right? She can juggle too. Joshua or Sheila, who is better? Stay tuned to As the Stars Turn.

Wrestler Ric Flair salsa dances! Who? Sorry folks, not a wrestling fan. You'll have to turn to Lis for that one. Salsa? Oooookay!

Legendary Boxing champion Joe Frazier is going to sing R&B. Now, I am kinda looking forward to this. Stand-up comedy and singing - that's talent. Even Rap is a talent. Unicycle? Juggling - well, okay, yeah it takes a certain sense of balance, etc. but come on people.

Marla Maples, the ex-Mrs. Donald Trump. Talk about not letting go of their 15 minutes. What can Ms. Maples do besides look pretty? She can do gymnastics. And who said she wasn't flexible?

Jo Dee Messina. Talented Country Western Singer. There's a song of her's that I can't remember the name of, but I love it. Anyway, her talent is described as hip-hop meets step dance. What? Hmmm, could be interesting ... could be a disaster.

Mya, a singer I've never heard of, is going to do one of my favorites - she's going to tap dance. I love tap dancing. I have nothing sarcastic to say about this.

Ben Stein, who obviously is done giving away his money, is going to Swing Dance? Memories of Jerry Springer dance in my head.

Cosby alum, Malcolm-Jamal Warner (who I secretly think is kinda hot) - Original Song (Bass & Vocals). Now, that could be interesting.

And last, but not least ...

George Takei. Yes, Sulu. I'm surprised he's not doing comedy. Really. I saw him on Thank God You're Here (and if you never caught this one - it was funny) and he was hysterical. But no, what is the 71 year old Star Trekker going to do? Sing Country Music. In front of Clint Black and Jo Dee Messina. Brave soul. Or senility. You choose.

So there you have it - the cast of Secret Talents of the Stars. Now, unlike other celeb-filled reality shows (Dancing With the Stars included), this one actually has some real celebs instead of wannabes, has beens and "who?". Clint Black, Jo Dee Messina, Sasha Cohen, Joe Frazier, and Sheila E.

Yes, I am Bailey Stewart, and I will be glued to the tube at 9:00 pm cdt.

I found it! This is the song by Jo Dee Messina that I love

I'm toast

Bebo and I attended Scarborough Faire, a Renaissance Festival just south of Dallas. This is its 28th year and the first year I had attended. Bebo had gone in years past, but not for about the last 16. We'd been promising to go for around 14 and decided that this year we'd go. Was it fun? I spent the day with Bebo, bought some great stuff. But fun? Not better than the North Texas Irish Festival. I hurt. We were only on our feet for about 5 1/2 hours and they ache. I'm used to being on my feet for 7 1/2 hours and they have never hurt this much. They have these stone walkways - not gravel really, more like little garden stones, chunks here and there. Stepping on them not only made walking a little hazardous (you've stepped on a little rock and had your foot turn, haven't you?), but each step would thrust one of those little stones through my tennis shoe bottom. I probably have little bruises all over the bottom of my feet. And it was really kinda ... boring? While the NTIF has music everywhere, bands on stage almost every half hour in different venues throughout the area, Scarborough had some traveling musicians, or a single player singing outside of a shop. It was almost silent, except for the occasional shouts from the "barkers" and maybe a sword fight here and there. I did get my hair braided - it looks pretty. Too bad it won't last. Oh well, at least I can finally say that I've been to the faire, but I doubt I'll be going back.

Who said they made sense?

Is it you? (Were you expecting Hugh Jackman? ‘Cuz I was.)
Feeling Short? (Listen spam, start making comments about my height and this session is over)
CONGRATULATIONS YOU ARE A LUCKY WINNER!!! (As opposed to an unlucky winner?)
Lengthen your bell-rope and you will have sex with any girlfriend you want. (Listen Quasimodo, shouldn’t you be leaving other people’s girlfriends alone?)
I wanted to breakup another’s relationship. (Obviously)
I felt guilty (Why let that bother you now?)
I tore her clothes apart (Oh, I hate when that happens)
I felt like I owed it to the person (That makes perfect sense now. I always feel like I owe people tattered clothes)

Ouch

I'm having sinus problems and my head feels like it is going to explode, so no real blog today.

These are kittens taking their first steps. About how I was moving this morning.


A giggle


Awwwww


okay, see you at Friday Spamarama.

The Truck

Main Entry: truck
Function: noun
Etymology: probably back-formation from truckle small wheel
Date: 1611
3: a wheeled vehicle for moving heavy articles: as a: a strong horse-drawn or automotive vehicle (as a pickup) for hauling

That’s Webster’s definition of a truck. My definition is quite different. I hate them. No, let me be more specific. There is one certain pickup truck that I hate. Totally. I can see the headline now:

Aspiring Author Arrested for Truckocide.
Suspect allegedly smashed truck to smithereens with a tire iron, all the while yelling “die you effing truck, die!”

It’s not really the trucks fault. I’m sure it’s a fine upstanding truck. In fact, it may have little trucks to support. I don’t care. I hate it. Sitting out there so innocent looking. No one would believe how evil it is. And it is evil, don’t doubt about that one bit. It’s either parked on one side or the other of my bedroom window, sometimes right smack dab in front of it. And it hates me as much as I hate it. I’m positive about that one. Otherwise, why would its alarm go off at all hours of the night and early morning? Why else would it do it especially the night before I have to get up for work? And believe you me, it’s not just night when it lets itself be heard. It went off several times today, breaking the silence with its shrill siren and incessant horn hocking. Did I mention incessant? Aggravating? I’m going to end up flipping out one night and charging out my patio door, tire iron waving in the humid Texas night as I climb hysterically over the patio fence. Then it’ll be just the truck and I. And the tire arm. I’m betting on me.



BTW, I've been busy putting together a MySpace fan page for Jill. Head on over to see it. Let me know what you think. It's 99% done and I'm waiting for Jill to crawl out from the deadline cave (Monday I hope) to finish the little bit that's left. You don't have to be a member of MySpace to look at the page.

March of the Spammites

Sorry folks, I'm drained. This is the best I can do. Have a great Friday!

When man goes along the street and something big sticks out of his jeans … (Alien!! Run!!!)
Wipe that smirk off her face (You’re not touching my face)
Her breast just spilled out. (Only one?)
Some men won’t learn (You got that right)
I was drunk (You made more sense drunk than you do sober)
I wanted to say “I’m sorry.” (Well why don’t you say it then? Don’t just stand there and say that you wanted to. Sheesh.)
Ohio debt consolidation (Ohio’s in debt? It is getting bad, isn’t it?)
Make your friend bigger (She’s doing a good enough job on her own.)

I Love Lucy vs. the Moving Van

So, lest you think that moving was a totally traumatic occurrence, let me assure you that there was plenty of levity to be had; some of it not discovered until after the actual move, but funny nonetheless. In order to tell this story properly, I need to back up a little. When we moved into the house in 1969 there was carpet only in the living room and hall. The three bedrooms were hardwood. My father, coming from the generation that looked upon hardwood floors as an indication of poverty, put carpet in those rooms as soon as possible. This meant that the ends of those three doors had to be cut off. When I removed the carpet, the doors were of course too short and left gaps when closed.

To present day - since moving meant having the front door open, I had to trap BooBear in the bathroom; Bubba and Aidan in the first bedroom. Anyone who has followed this blog for any length of time knows that Bubba doesn’t like to be closed up in a room. He protests quite loudly. Moving day was no exception. It was so funny to see Bubba’s nose and one eye peeking out from under the door. Poor pitiful Bubba, begging with that one eye.

Obviously, we had to unhook the washing machine in order to move it. No problem for the guy who was helping us. He used to be a professional mover. Easy, right? Hmmmm. When he unhooked the hot water, it wouldn’t turn off. Water was squirting everywhere, the floor was flooding and the three of us (Cavin, Bebo and I) were in a panic. The water was scalding his hand and Bebo grabbed some of my clean clothes for him to wrap around his hand as he tried to turn off the valve. I made frantic calls to my cousins who are plumbers. Brother number one didn’t answer. Brother number two did. And laughed. “Go turn off the hot water at the water heater” he gasped when he could. Huh? That’s too obvious, right? Of course that worked. Water was everywhere; a small lake in the middle of the dining room. Cavin was soaked.

Fast forward to me unpacking; I came across a small box that perplexed me. I could have sworn that I had left it on the bathroom counter. I put it on my bar and waited for Bebo to get there. “What is this?” I said as she came in the door. “It’s a light bulb” she answered. “No, it’s not just a light bulb. It’s a garage door opener bulb.” She stared at me. “I left it there on purpose as it’s quite obvious that I don’t have a garage door.” Bebo is a real good packer. In fact, Bebo is a terrific packer. She packs all sorts of things that I wouldn’t need. Like the cover to the smoke alarm in the study at home. What am I going to do with that?

So see, it wasn’t all tears and sorrow, there was laughter involved. Some funny memories to start my new life with.

New Home

Oh no!!! I wrote this last night, but was having problems with the internet and kept closing down the computer and rebooting. In the meantime, word, of course, went bye bye and I forgot all about it! Sorry I'm late.

Well we’re here and we sorta have internet. This is the same problem that I was having before I moved. It’s the laptop, refusing to hook up to the router. It also keeps telling me that a network cable is unplugged? Huh? There’s no cable hooked up to it, nor has there ever been. Oh well. Also, at about 8:00 p.m. to 9:00 p.m. it refuses to hook up at all. When my money comes in from the house sale I’m going to have to have it looked at.

The move was traumatic for the cats. First, BooBear was closed up in the bathroom. Bubba and Aidan were put in the Master bedroom and then when the guest room was cleared out, they were moved there. Bubba does not like to be closed up in a room without a human, but we had to do it to keep them from running out the propped open front door. We made a couple of runs from the house to the apartment. We were so tired that we decided to get the cats, go home and then come back the next day to finish up. My niece and her husband were coming to pick up and store the things for my brother so we had to be there anyway. I took a last look around in the closets and noticed something way back on the shelf in the Master. It was a small box. I took it down, opened it up and cried. You see, my mother had this habit of buying gifts, hiding them and then forgetting about them. She’d obviously bought this before the Alzheimer’s set in. I knew it was for me – it was a Purrfect Friends cat tile. It’s beautiful. I didn’t have long to linger over it as the crowd arrived to pick up Dave’s stuff. Then they were gone. Bebo and I put the last few things in our cars and I sent Bebo ahead so I could take a last look around the house alone. It echoed around me and in those echoes I could hear laughter and tears; in the rooms ghosts reached out to me. I stopped at the wall that separated the den from the kitchen. Resting my hand on the paneling, I stood for a moment. You see, when we moved in there, the paneling wasn’t on this particular section of wall. This was where my parent’s measured my growth with penciled lines on the wall. They were still there, underneath the paneling dad installed in the mid-80s. Stepping outside, I looked at the sidewalk my dad put in around that time, the sidewalk where he wrote our names: David (my brother’s step-son), James, Eric, Jenni Lynn and me. I said goodbye to the feral cats – especially Little One, the most friendly. Locking the house, I went next door to say goodbye to Gwen (having said goodbye to Debbie the day before). And then I got in my car, backed out of the drive and stopped at the sound of a shout. The man across the street stepped out from his garage and waved “goodbye”. The people on the corner did the same thing. Ernie on the corner called me over and I stopped. He said goodbye, gave me a hug and sent me on my way. I cried most of the way to the apartment. BooBear was still hiding – on Saturday he had found the bed and crawled under it, not coming out until dark and then back under Sunday morning. He was still under the bed, but Aidan was no longer hissing at Bubba. Bubba took the move just fine, exploring and jumping in boxes. Now a week later, they are all doing fine and adjusting to the constraints of the loss of running room.

I’ll tell you more about the move and the new apartment next time.

Off-Line

I'm closing down the computers for the move and will be off-line until Monday or Tuesday (fingers crossed because you know how "they" like to mess with my internet).

Last, Part Three

Friday night will be my last night in this house. I'm feeling a bit melancholy tonight. Mostly, I think, because of what this house symbolized. You see, once there was a family of six, now there are three. Once there were family gatherings with in-laws and grandchildren and gr-grandchildren and aunts and uncles and cousins. Now there is only Bebo and I. Once there was a little girl with dreams. Now most of those dreams have slipped by.

Now there will be new dreams, new memories. But I'll always remember that once there was a family. Once.

McCartney and Lennon said it best:

There are places I remember
All my life, though some have changed
Some forever not for better
Some have gone and some remain
All these places had their moments
With lovers and friends I still can recall
Some are dead and some are living
In my life I've loved them all

Lasts, Part Two

First off, let me say that I am very excited about the future. I am by no means ignoring the things ahead of me. I’m just taking this time to say goodbye to something that has been a haven for me for the last 39 years. This is my closure.

So here are the lasts that I am happy about:

This is the last time I’ll have to struggle with the gate to the alley.

The last time I’ll have to struggle with the sliding glass door that is off its track and difficult because of the shifting foundation.

The last time I’ll have to worry about how I’m going to get the lawn mowed.

The last time I’ll have to deal with those ugly squiggly plant things that fall off of the tree every spring.

Speaking of the tree, it’s the last time I’ll have to deal with the web worms.

The last time I’ll have to put up with things not working.

The last time that I’ll have to watch a bad cable connection and not be able to do anything about it because it’s the lines my father split off from the main line.

I won’t have to clean a three bedroom, two living area, two bath home ever again.

No more messing with a broken garage door.

I have a fireplace, so I won’t have to freeze my butt off next winter because I can’t afford to run the furnace.

I won’t have to put up with those barking dogs next door. Don’t get me wrong, dogs are okay – it’s just these dogs I don’t like.

I won’t ever have to look at the mess that my neighbor has made of her home and yard. She’s a nice lady, but a bit on the trashy side.

No more cleaning the alley.

I can put the trash out whenever I want to.

Lasts, Part One

This is my last week in the house, so indulge me a little as I spend some time saying goodbye. There are a lot of "lasts" that I'll be experiencing here. The last time I'll close that door, the last time I'll open that cabinet, the last time ... While I'm excited about my new apartment, I'm also sad about leaving my home of almost 39 years. A lot has happened here, laughter as well as tears. Parties, goodbyes, hellos - I grew from child, to adolescent, to adult in this house. A great many people who are no longer with me have crossed its threshold. Their memories all live not only within me, but within these walls. Wedding showers, baby showers, graduation, birthday and anniversary parties. Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, Memorial Day, Fourth of July, Labor Day, New Years Eve. Oh, the parties we would have. The house filled with people, laughter, conversation, love. Mostly, laughter. My mother and my father both died IN this house. The smells, the sounds - every creek and groan of the house, will be missed. The other day I experienced one of my "last". I woke up that morning to snow, and as I stood there taking pictures I realized that this would be my last snow in this house.

See that tree? My dad planted that tree. My maternal grandmother held it in the hole as he shoveled in dirt. My nephews swung from it. It has shaded me and this house for 25 years. I'll miss it too.

Spam Straight From the Freezer

First, the winner of the signed copy of The Heart of the Renegade is Dru!!!! Send me your snail mail address and I'll get it sent off to Loreth.

The answer:

Jacques Sauvage
Hunter McBride
Rafiq Zayed
December Ngomo
Grant McDonough
Luke Stone
and I would even have accepted Dr. Emily Carlin

Now, on to spam.

I changed my male machine length now it’s your turn. (I’m not touching your male machine.)
Perfectly crafted luxury pieces. (Not anymore)
Brandy be screen saver for you. (She will? Awww, how sweet.)
Please do not view. (If Brandy is going to be my screen saver, you can bet I’m going to view.)
Take bachelors very fast. (You betcha!)
Do you love FREE stuff? (No, I’d much rather pay for it. Sheesh)
There are only a few days left. Are you ready? (No!! I haven’t seen Ireland yet!)
Sucks huh. (Sucks isn’t the word for it.)

Contest

I haven't done one of these in a long time. Today I’m giving away a signed copy of The Heart of a Renegade, the latest in the Shadow Soldiers series by Loreth Ann White. I’m reading this book right now (in between packing for the move) and am enjoying it immensely. Once again, Loreth has transported me to another place and into the lives of two interesting people. Here’s the blurb from the back:

Luke Stone was alone. And he liked it that way. An ex-bodyguard, sworn never to protest again after his last failure, Luke needed no one. Until he met Jessica Chan.

A journalist with a dark past, Jessica had uncovered deadly information that made her a target. And only Luke stood between her and certain death. She was everything he didn’t want: a woman who attracted trouble … and attracted him. But as assassins closed in and emotions ran high, Jessica might become everything he needed …



So what do you have to do to win this book? Simple, you go to Loreth’s webpage and find out the names of all of the Shadow Soldiers and then email them to me at baileystewart at baileystewart dot net. I will draw a name from the correct responses. Please, do not post your answers here. You have until 9:00 pm CST Thursday, March 6. Good luck.

Promotion!!

Responsible Romantic Heroes Use Condoms

Some readers prefer heroes to use condoms while others say the dose of reality kills all the spontaneity and romance. It’s a debate that repeats all over romance land—to use condoms or not to use condoms—since, after all, it is only fiction…

New Zealand erotic romance author, Shelley Munro took this a step further in her upcoming release Fancy Free, the story of an accountant who inherits a condom company. When Ms. Munro caught an Air New Zealand flight from San Francisco, she came across an advertising article about a new condom on the market. The ideas flowed and by the time she landed in Auckland, she’d outlined her plot for Fancy Free.

It’s not every day a girl inherits a condom company, and to say accountant, Alice Beasley is astonished and out of her depth is putting it mildly. For an almost virgin, she needs a quick education in all things condom because her inheritance is in danger. Someone is intent on sabotage and playing nasty, trying to destroy her new company.

Alice is suddenly getting down and dirty with charismatic James, the factory manager, all in the name of business, testing new condom designs. The sex is hot. Mind-blowing. It’s a dark thrill and an erotic journey. Yeah, it’s a hard job but a girl’s got to do what a girl’s gotta do.

The testing turns personal. Alice wants James. She craves his talented touch and sultry kisses, she desires passion and physical pleasure on a permanent basis but first she must convince bad boy James to give up his fancy free ways.

Note: condoms were tested and a few harmed during the writing of this story.

Fancy Free releases on 7 March 2008 from Ellora’s Cave and is Ms. Munro’s eighteenth release from the pioneer erotic romance publisher.

From the time Shelley Munro was a little girl living in New Zealand, she wanted to be a detective. She read all the Famous Five mysteries by Enid Blyton before graduating to Nancy Drew and the Hardy Boys. Her favorite television viewing was Scooby Doo where she, in her invisible guise, helped Scooby solve the crime.

As happens with children, Shelley grew up and boys distracted her from childhood dreams. She found one she really liked and married him, traveling the world at his side until returning to settle in New Zealand to write hot and spicy tales for Ellora’s Cave, some of which contain the odd body or two.

Publishing Notes:
Title: Fancy Free
Author: Shelley Munro
Publisher: Ellora’s Cave
ISBN: 9781419913341
Release Date: 7 March 2008
Genre: Contemporary erotic romance
Setting: Present day New Zealand

Adventure into Romance with Shelley Munro
http://www.shelleymunro.com/
shelleymunro@gmail.com

Here's a snippet from the book:

Alicia started her company, Fancy Free on a whim—a business to occupy her time and keep her old school friends busy. Many of Sloan’s residents considered Fancy Free a strange business, and some were plain shocked, but Alicia didn’t believe in following conventions. Condoms were something she knew about. She’d researched them enough, heck, she’d even used a few in her time. Condoms were her passion, and so condoms were what her company produced. On her death, she left her precious company to her god-daughter Alice Beasley.

A snippet from Alicia’s collection of condom notes:

One size does not fit all. Correct condom use is critical in preventing unwanted pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases, yet an Indiana study found many men reported problems with the fit and feel of condoms. The range of condom sizes is limited yet men come in all shapes and sizes.

21% of men in the study reported the condoms were too tight.
18% of the men in the study reported the condoms felt too short.
10% of the men in the study reported the condoms felt too loose.
7% of the men in the study reported the condoms felt too long.

Alicia’s Notes – look at providing condoms in varied sizes.

Source: Indiana University (2007, September 19) Condoms are Not ‘One Size Fits All’. Science Daily.

Get your copy of FANCY FREE, an erotic romance about condoms by Shelley Munro, from Ellora’s Cave on March 7, 2008.
To read an excerpt visit http://www.shelleymunro.com/coming-soon

What?

I'm experiencing connectivity problems with my laptop and am on the PC from hell. Check back later for blog post.

In Memoriam

So I was going to blog about the Oscars, but realized that I didn't know a lot about any of the movies nominated this year. I'm still going to watch it, because I'm an Oscar freak. George Clooney is nominated, but I've heard that the probable winner will be Daniel Day Lewis, darnit. One of my favorite parts of the show is the memoriam to those actors/actresses who have died in the past Oscar year (March 2007 thru February 2008). Don't ask me why - I've always been a celebrity obituary gal. Morbid, I know. My family calls me the obit lady. I've been called worse. Anway, here is my own personal in memoriam - because of space limitations I could only include the most famous ones. I'll be watching closely tonight to see who they leave out. I'm like that. I once wrote the Academy an email in protest because they left someone off of the list. Oscar Geek alert! So, will you/did you watch the Oscars?


Betty Hutton


Charles Nelson Reilly


Jane Wyman


Deborah Kerr


Robert Goulet


Brad Renfro


Suzanne Pleshette


Heath Ledger


Roy Scheider

Penny Spam

VoluminousSchlongWilma (Wilma has a voluminous schlong? And I can’t even get volume in my hair …)
ErectileOrganGrandAhmed (Supercalifragulisticexpealidocious)
Can I get out of debt? (I don’t know, can you?)
We don’t advertise, we advise. (Well I advise that you advertise your non-advertisement)
Hot wild nights of pleasure await you. (Hugh? Hugh is that you?)
You’ve been picked to fill out surveys for cash – month of February. (Oh, I’m good at that, aren’t I Marty?)
Those locker room stares will be for the right reason. (The simple fact that I’m in a locker room would be enough to stare.)
With no particular (No particular what? No particular reason to be in a locker room?)
Your neighbors lost their alarm clock. (Oh, they lost their alarm clock for no particular reason. That’s what you were trying to say.)
Talk to me now! (I didn’t do it. An insane dog enters my yard and digs those holes.)

Also, Jason Evans is having another short fiction contest, this one is called "Whispers". Head on over to his blog and have a go at it.

Hang-ups

Ames did a meme listing the hang-ups or things that she has to do before writing or while writing. While they don’t have to be musts, they are things that make her feel more comfortable. So I decided to do my own. You don’t have to do one, but feel free to throw in a comment about any hang-ups you might have before you start writing, do chores, read, etc.


A Day of Writing with Bailey


1. I have to check my emails, MySpace messages and go by Jill’s blog (if it’s in the morning)

2. If it’s a morning that I’ve posted my blog, then I have to check comments there too.
3. Check friends status’
4. Put LOLcatz comment on Ames’ MySpace page.
5. Find the right music. I’m easily distracted so most of the time the music can’t have words to it because I’ll sing along. But, on the other hand, I have been known to put together music CD’s that describe either the characters personalities, the action of the story, or set up the ambience for a scene. For instance, “At Last” for the first love scene; “Smuggler’s Blues” for an action scene, etc.
6. play 3 or 4 rounds of spider solitaire
7. I can’t write pen and paper because of the arthritis. Well, I can write it, but I won’t be able to read it. Now that I have the laptop, I can sit in my favorite chair.
8. I have to have the storyboard set up.
9. Go smoke a cigarette and get a coke
10. Stare at screen for a few minutes and wonder what in the hell am I doing.
11. Read the last chapter to get back into the feel of the story.
12.I have to have the characters names before I can write the story. Sometimes they come to me easily, other times it’s like pulling teeth.
13. Go smoke a cigarette. Sit on porch and plot perfect paragraph. Then forget the entire paragraph when I get back into house.
14. I also have to have a title. It doesn’t have to be the perfect title, but I have to call it something more than the WIP or “untitled”
15. Look at storyboard and fall in love with my hero again. Now I’m ready to write.

Aidan's Turn

Aidan here. Mother was going to have Seamas blog again, but I begged her not to subject you to any more of his “LOLz” cat speak, so to say. I hate that site; it’s such an insult to us superior felines. Anyway, we’re adjusting fine without Neely Shae, although I must admit that I do miss my favorite target. Bailey and Seamas aren’t as fun to attack. And I said Bailey. I don’t care if there’s some sort of mix-up with his and mother’s names. BooBear is ridiculous. How could any self-respecting feline hold up his head with a name like BooBear? I know, mother calls me Aidan Maiden, so who am I to speak, right? I.hate.Aidan Maiden. In case I’m not clear enough – Aidan Maiden sucks eggs. She even has a little poem for me: Aidan Maiden, pudding pie. Kissed the kits and made them cry. When Aidan Maiden came out to play, all the kits they ran away. Can you imagine going through life with that sticking to you? It’s either that or Secret Aidan Man. If I have to have one or the other, I’ll take Secret Aidan Man because at least it’s male.

Mother has been having a bit of a bad week. The sale of the house isn’t going through as soon as she, and obviously Uncle David, thought it would. So here’s mother packing to move into an apartment she can’t afford. It’s all Uncle David’s fault and if he were here I’d pee on his foot. He doesn’t like cats anyway, so what harm would it do? I could leave a little present in his shoe too, if you know what I mean. I don’t mind getting a little crass when it comes to protecting my mother.

I heard mother say the other day that she just doesn’t get to blog as much as she used to. What with all of this packing and cleaning, she doesn’t have the time. I know, you see her on MySpace a lot. She’s not always there. Mother has this habit of leaving the computer on and logged into the site. Whenever she gets a message or something, it “cachings” (that’s the closest to the sound I can get) rather loudly and she comes running to answer it. It’s pathetic if you ask me, sort of like Pavlov’s dogs. Anyway, once she’s settled into her new place, she’ll get back to a routine. Whatever that is. And she’ll be able to look for a job again. I’ve been told she needs one badly. I don’t know why, wouldn’t a purr, nuzzle and lick get her most things in life? It works for us.

A Hard Spam's Night

Can I tell you? (Not right now.)
It’s important (Okay, go ahead.)
A penis is a terrible thing to waste. (I thought that was a mind? Oh, wait, for some people that is their mind)
Tired of losing your erection halfway, or having a small weener? Change it today … (Is this like light bulbs? Can you go to the store and buy them in a four pack? How about generics?)
Works so good, you will poke your eye out … guarenteed. (Oh, I can imagine that’s everyone’s goal – poke that eye right out.)
Elvincockwalloping (Well, Elvin can go wallop his cock somewhere else.)
Reduce your debts the professional way. (I’d rather do it unprofessionally, thank you.)
Methodist watches. (Watches have religion? What does a Christian Scientists watch look like?)
Hello band saw. (Goodbye staple gun)

Jeanne

Otherwise known as Catslady - just let me know that her oldest cat Tabatha passed away today. I'm so sorry sweetie. I know that you gave her a lot of love and 17 is a very long time for a cat. Lots of hugs.

Why I Hate Valentine's Day

Or 101 ways to break my heart.



Happy Wednesday My Friends! Help Spread the word and save our children from the indignities of Valentine's Day.

There’s a group of us that are boycotting Valentine’s Day for various reasons. Some are doing so because of the crassness and commercialism that has taken over the day. Me, I’m doing it because truth be told, I hate Valentine’s Day. I think it was a holiday invented by happy people to kick lonely people in the gut a few times. It started with me in elementary school. I was one of those kids who sat in class and watched while all of the other kids received valentines. Then later, when teachers began to make the class give valentines to everyone in the class – I received some that said “Happy Valentine’s Day, you stink” and other less loving sayings. I don’t understand how the valentine company’s that make the packages for children would print such terrible ones, but they do. Later in high school it was Valentinegrams. These were purchased and filled out by the sender, then delivered to classrooms by people on the Valentine committee (I guess). I never received any of those either. Neither did I have a boyfriend during the Valentine season – I was always alone. Sometime in my 20s mom began giving me one long-stem rose for Valentine’s Day. Even in the grips of Alzheimer’s, she would still remember to have Bebo get my rose. Last year was the first time I didn’t receive one in 20 years. But still, it’s a bit pathetic when your mother is your only Valentine.

So, there will be no Valentine’s from me, no MySpace comments either. I’m boycotting.

Bubba Rocks

Deer blogsters, mi name is bubba an i am in charge. momma iz buzy on mycatspace an haz forgot to do her blog so i am doin it. i am a gud kitty an very hansome. i am also very smart. mommy watsht futbal all day an cride becuz it wuz teh last game ob teh seeson. me an aden played wit teh round ball ting an boobear hid unner teh bed cuz he iz so frade of evryting. me an aden tellz him not to be frade, but he no listen to uz. eben teh stoopid dawgz next door scared him an dey are outside. see how silly he iz? mommie iz movin an there are lotz of boxes around an we hab fun jumpin in an out ob dem. we kinda likz it widout neely shay around here cuz we can nowz getz to mommy. fore dat neely would chaze uz away cuz she wanted all ob mommies tenshun. Nows we no longer haz to be pushed away, we gotz mommie allz to ourselvez. dat is gud. momma gibs teh katz outside sum can fudz an she no givz dem to uz. dat not nice, iz it? momma shuld givz uz teh gud smelin fud, shoudnt she? i folos momma roundz teh house an to teh potz rum where she closd teh door an i yelled noes momma, noes closd door on bubba. let bubba in. an sometime she do. den i go round her feetz so she spank me, cuz i liked to be spanked. really. it gibs me tinglez.

Ahem.

oh hi momma. youz bak from mycatspace?

Yes, and I don’t think they want to hear about your spanking fetish. I’ll take over from here.

I think Bubba has pretty much filled you in on our day. A lot of fun in the Stewart household. I would have let him finish this, but, I wanted to break in and tell you that I just now heard that actor Roy Scheider (man in the middle)has died. Many of you will remember him from “Jaws” where he uttered that most famous line – “You’re gonna need a bigger boat”. He also received Oscar nominations for his work in “The French Connection” and “All That Jazz”.

He was 75.

Strawberry Spam Forever

More howls than you can shake a shiver at. (First off, what’s a shiver? And how do you shake it?)
HugoMonolithicBodypart (Really? And are you going to introduce me to Hugo?)
You really need it. (A hugo monolithic bodypart? Won’t Hugo miss it?)
Professional PRO (Aren’t all pros professional?)
PhallusMassiveAmelia (Amelia has a massive phallus? Does Ripley’s Believe it or Not know about this?)
The baby-maker grows and develops GRADUALLY, not over night! (Duh! It takes around 9 mos.)
And it was so. (So? So what?)
Aggressive traders alert. (Why? Is someone going to jump out of a dark alley and demand that I buy stock?)

My Favorite Super Bowl Commercial

It's not that its absolutely hysterical, it was the surprise of it that had me giggling my head off. And yeah, I kinda like the guy, but he can be so over the top that the idea of running him over sounds good. Of course, I won't remember what the commercial was advertising, and that's the problem with a lot of these Superbowl ads, the message gets lost in the search for the most stunning, funny commercial.

Neely Shae

Saturday Susie and I took Neely Shae to her new home - well, for a two-week trial period at her new home. Neely wasn't thrilled, in fact the poor baby peed in the carrier. That was a great introduction to Libby and her new home - a long trip and then immediately to a sink. Libby is going to re-name her Nelly. Nelly?! Neely Shae means princess of the fairy castle, or something like that, in gaelic. I chose it for its beauty in both sound and meaning. Nelly? That's what you call an old nag. Oh well, she's not mine anymore so I guess it won't matter. I do hope this works because I'm running out of options for her. The apartment will only allow 2 animals (the girls in the office are letting me sneak in a third), but a fourth - no way. I also don't want to cram 4 cats in a one bedroom apartment; 4 cats are getting too expensive in shots, food, litter. I've tried the rescue groups, but they declined because they consider 10 too old for adoption. If this doesn't work with Libby, there's a slight chance I could talk my vet into taking her and finding a home; if not, then its the needle for her - and that would tear me up. Leaving her there effected me more than I thought it would. I spent a good deal of Saturday night crying. But I'm better now.

We all know I write this stuff the night before, so I'm getting ready to watch the Superbowl. I'm touched by the reading of the Declaration of Independence by former and present football players/officials/coaches. Kinda brought a tear to my eyes. Who am I rooting for? As much as I hate to say it, I'm rooting for the Giants. I have my reasons:

1. I'd hate for anybody other than the Cowboys to have a perfect year.

2. I'm tired of hearing about how great the Patriots are, and how they're undefeatable.

3. The Giants represent the NFC and that's the division the Cowboys are in.

4. Tom Brady is too cute to be a quarterback.

5. I don't want the Patriots to win more Superbowls than the Cowboys.

6. I don't like Bill Bellichek (sp?)

Bebo and I spent most of the day (okay, not most but quite a bit) working on the study. And we're still not done. We both ended up beat. A lot of mother's stuff was there, a lot of stuff to shred.

That's it for now, see ya on Wednesday.

Spamsterday

Bigger baby-maker is not a dream anymore! (Yeah, I’ve always wanted to give birth to a 20lb. baby)
i adore show my great body (spam doesn’t have bodies)
It follows you to read it (Now that’s some book!)
FOR YOUR ATTENTION ONLY … (Everyone, turn your backs.)
Cockprominentdino (Dinosaurs had prominent cocks?)
You can have a 7 inches long Penis, how to archive? (Wrap it in acid free tissue.)
Please don’t forget Robbie’s anniversary party, tommorow. (I’m going to be busy with acid free tissue. And learn how to spell, will ya?)
Maxwellcockplumping (Good to the last drop)