Friday, June 23, 2006

Spam-Jamboree

Let's take a little look in the bulk file. Hmmm ...

Browse local singles for free (won’t that bother them?)
First time Aimee (Nope, she’s been here a couple of times.)
To achieve something in your life, you need to have a child. If you have any pro … (How about my cousin? She’s had about 10 kids. I’d consider her a pro)
Your neighbors lost their alarm clock (Same song, different verse. Tie a string on it next time.)
We can actually help (go ahead. I don’t think it’ll do any good)
All her plans will be disconcerted when she sees your new dick (She’ll be disconcerted?)
Morning (Good morning to you too.)
I’m very upset about last Sunday (Well don’t blame me. I was right here all the time)
Can’t believe it (Honest. I didn’t leave the house once. Can’t vouch for the neighbors though)
Sociopath (Excuse me? I am not being anti-social. Why would I want to hang around with someone who can’t even keep track of their alarm clock?)
Planning folding (Now that’s where I’ve gone wrong. I never plan to fold.
No wonder my clothes are always wrinkled)
Got a second? (Not right now. I’m too busy planning to fold.)
Fun, winter-starved (If you knew me, you’d know I have no fun when I’m Winter-starved)
Finally, I think I found it. (Shhhh, don’t tell the neighbors. They’ll just lose it again)
I wish you could have found it before (Don’t worry. There’ll be another chance. They lose the damn thing every week.)
Your Neighborhood house value is falling (People are afraid for their alarm clocks. What’s the world coming too?)
Our Viagra soft tabs can make your dirtiest dreams come true (Can they produce Hugh Jackman?)
When my girlfriend broke up with me I had a goal to prove to her that she’s ... (One smart cookie)

Wanna win a copy of Bound by Sasha White? You know what to do, just tell me in your comment and you're entered. Drawing Sunday night, 9:00 central. There will also be a couple of second place winners (book flaps) and bunches of other things.

Oh, and Lis is giving away Jo Leigh's Closer ... with the drawing Sunday night. And don't forget to come back Monday for your chance to win this book too.

27 comments:

Brandy said...

Hee-hee! "produce Hugh Jackman", I bet you do!! Love Spam Fridays!! And what is with the neighbors alarm clock, does it run away or what?

Danica Favorite said...

Huh. The folks in the bulk file aren't as concerned about your penis as they are about mine. I don't know about you, but God left mine off when He created me. He and I may need to have a talk about that. I feel so cheated now...

Anonymous said...

As you can see, it's early in the morning or is it late evening.? Can't figure it out. I was out most of the day.

Anyway, great, funny Spamarama as usual--though I'm almost asleep.

My sister's coming down with her son and his family including sweet little Emma who is now almost 10 months old. I'd better get a few things cleaned up today when I really get up. Hope Tony next door doesn't talk too loudly. I still say he's at least partially deaf. Why else would someone carry on a conversation at the top of his lungs.

Oh, no. He'll probably be here in a little more than an hour.

Hope everything's all right with you and your mom. Take care of yourself as well.

Hugs and prayers.

Michele said...

I was going to say:
Your Alarm Clock theme is becoming an "inside" joke.
My favorite SPAM keeps trying to convince me I should be a PI or FBI agent. LOL
Gee, work for myself or Uncle Sam ... which is more paranoid?

So, I can say "Sign my up for the Drawing" and I'm signed up?
OK
Sign me up for entry thanks!

Too bad you don't have SPAM about Gummy Weinies (there's another word for it) cuz I have a pic - did you see? It could be the Counter SPAM to all those Penis Plea's we see all the time... you know, the plea's cuz they don't???
*ahem*
going on 4 cups of coffee, can you tell?

Joely Sue Burkhart said...

I love your spam. *g* I'm going to try and run a Closer contest on my blog next week.

Denise McDonald said...

Our Viagra soft tabs can make your dirtiest dreams come true

and here I was thinking laundry...

Anonymous said...

So I have to say...

SIGN ME UP FOR THE DRAWING :) heehee

just in case you did not know :)

Oh and I have a ton of books that I think should go :) anything in particular you want???

Bailey Stewart said...

Brandy - I don't know - with that family (and I love the mother) I'd probably run away too.

Danica - me too.

Hugs to you too Ruby.

Michele - your signed up. And I'll get over there in a bit.

Devon - Welcome! Come back soon.

Joely - let me know when and we'll link it.

Dennie - laundry? My, my - how tame. *gg*

Glenice - you're signed up too. And I don't know if I want any books if I don't know what they are? *g*

Unknown said...

Thanks for a much needed laugh. I *love* Spam Fridays.

Christa said...

I like your alarm clock better then my horny housewives.
SIGN ME UP!!!!
I just ordered Closer.

Anonymous said...

Huh, I didn't know you had a thing for Hugh Jackman! *g* Another great Spam Friday!

Sign my up for the Drawing!

Anonymous said...

I’m very upset about last Sunday

They probably lost their alarm clock, too, and overslept. *g*

Please sign me up, too. :)

Anonymous said...

I would love to be entered in the contest.

Thanks-
Kristie

Anonymous said...

Hi,

I'm going to thank Saskia for sending me over here. At least you do something creative with all that spam.

I'd love to be signed up for the contest, too. Great teaser.

nhmig
No hot men ignore gams.
(word verification game - sorry, I think I'm addicted)

Anonymous said...

hm, I thought that was you that emailed me through paperbackswap...I wonder who it was then...great I have a stalker through an online book exchange!

Toni Anderson said...

Very funny!!!

Those bloody alarm clocks. I hide mine :)

Toni Anderson said...

Can you put me in the draw please??

Anonymous said...

OK, I don't know which way to go. I just read the except from BOUND and I want more.

Then I notice you're also giving away CLOSER? Is that right, or is that at Lis' site?

Whatever you're giving away, put me on the list. It's been a long rough week and I'm ready to escape into a hot/racy book.

Kelly (Lynn) Parra said...

Lol! More great ones, thanks Bailey!! =D

Anonymous said...

You know I've been lurking lately, but I LOVE these spamarama Fridays! *gg*

Lis said...

another great installment of spamarama Fridays :o) This week I finally got a few funny ones of my own, but google deleted them before I could do a spamarama of my own *g* Ah well. Thanks for the link!

Shesawriter said...

"Our Viagra soft tabs can make your dirtiest dreams come true (Can they produce Hugh Jackman?)"

Bwwwwwwwwwwaaaaaaaaaaahhhhahahahha!

Bailey Stewart said...

Hey gang - sorry I haven't been around much today - mom's been sick. You who have children will appreciate this (well, maybe not appreciate, but understand). It's like a 3 year old with stuff coming from both ends. She's not fast enough to get anywhere, so ... I feel like crap, and yes, pardon the pun.

Shirley - and spam loves you too.

Thank you Stacy.

Christa - you have horny housewives? Kewl.

You're so funny Susan. Your entered.

Gotcha Tori.

You too Kristie.

Zaza - welcome. You're entered. And I love your little game.

Glenice has a stalker. Careful sweetie.

Toni - I'm beginning to think I should too. You're in the draw.

Susie - yes, on all accounts. I'm giving away Bound, Lis is giving away Closer, then I'm giving away Closer and then Joely might give it away. Confused yet? Just keep entering.

You're welcome Kelly.

Hey Bebo.

Lis - nasty google.

Bailey Stewart said...

Tanya - Hi! We crossed posted. A girl can dream can't she?

Anonymous said...

Please enter me in your drawing to win Bound!

Bailey Stewart said...

You're in the drawing Kathleen.

Anonymous said...

Is this how you enter to win Bound? I hope so :)