Friday, June 30, 2006

Spam ... The Other White Meat

The National Pork Board wishes to thank you for your attendance. Oh, and BTW, you'll get an even bigger laugh from a certain piece of spam that arrived in my inbox this week - Bebo can verify its validity. Guess which one??

Notice of approval Thu, 29 June 2006, 03:38:46 -0600 (I always like to have the date and time I’ve been approved.)
Prepare yourself for this (Okay, now what?)
This is what I heard (And what grapevine have you been sitting near?)
Spermamax can get pregnant even a man (I wasn’t prepared for this. Have you called the Science Magazines or The National Enquirer)
Amnesty Jimmy Carter required (Oh now, leave him alone. He’ll build you a house)
We are pure light beings (Yeah, and I’m Mother Theresa)
Walrus (Is that the way pure light beings behave?)
Your neighbors lost their alarm clock (My suspect list would include a pregnant man and pure light beings)
Life without the alarm clock (I have an alarm clock. Talk to the neighbors)
Your money, morning coat (Thank you smoking jacket)
What are your plans for the 19th? (Why? Is that when we nab Jimmy Carter?)
Speak leave author want (Okay)
Quitter (Hey, you were the one that told me to speak and then leave!)
Still unable to contact (That’s because I left)
To grow thinner diminish dinner (Wow, what genius thought of that?)
Illicit schemes documented (Are you going to tell me that Jimmy Carter has been taking the alarm clocks?)
How can one explain? (It’s usually best to start at the beginning. It was a dark and stormy night …)
Your primary submission incoherent (I’m incoherent?)
We can actually help (With what? Finding the alarm clock, Jimmy Carter or helping me become coherent?)


Friday giveaway: Just tell me which book you want and I’ll draw names on Sunday night.

Shalvis:

Hero for Hire
Blue Flame
White Heat
Roughing it With Ryan (Temptation)
The Rancher’s Surrender (Intimate Moments)
For the love of Nick (Temptation)
The Detectives Undoing (Intimate Moments)
Come Fly with Me
Chance Encounter (Temptation)
The Bachelors Bed (Tempation)
Men of Courage II (w/ Lori Foster and Donna Kauffman)

Crusie:

Charlie All Night
Crazy for You
Strange Bedpersons (Temptation)
Manhunting (Temptation)

Anthologies:

Perfect for the Beach by Janelle Denison, Ericn McCarthy, MaryJanice Davidson, Kayla Perrin and Morgan Leigh
Man of My Dreams by Sherrilyn Kenyon, Maggie Shayne, Suzanne Forster and Virginia Kantra
Bad Boys in Black Tie by Lori Foster, Erin McCarthy and Morgan Leigh
Bad Boys Over Easy by Erin McCarthy, Jen Nicholas and Jordan Summers
Bad Boys on Board by Lori Foster, Donna Kauffman and Nancy Warren
Bad Boys to Go by Lori Foster, Janelle Denison and Nancy Warren

Fantasy/Paranormal:

Sword of Darkness by Kinley MacGregor
The Bitten by L.A. Banks
Bitten & Smitten by Michelle Rowen
Broken by Kelley Armstrong
Mortal Danger by Eileen Wilks

Contemporary:

The Model Man by Genie Davis (last time in giveaway)
Good Girls Don’t by Kelley St. John (last time in giveaway)
She Drives Me Crazy by Leslie Kelly

Romantic Suspense:

Code of Honor by Catherine Mann
Lie by Moonlight by Amanda Quick
Double Play by Penelope Neri (last time in giveaway)
Unspoken Fear by Hunter Morgan
Sleeping with the Agent by Gennita Low
Eye of the Storm by Dee Davis

31 comments:

Brandy said...

I have been looking forward to Spamamrama Friday all week! AGAIN with your neighbors alarm clock! You'd think they'd get over it by now. Hope you have a good day!

Bailey Stewart said...

But did you notice the new one - the one that was supposed to make you say "She made that one up"? Come on, an extra book to whoever figures it out.

Rene said...

ooooh, you got a good list. I'm putting in for "Bitten & SMitten" by Michelle Rowan.

I don't get that much spam, and certainly none involving Jimmy Carter. LOL

Brandy said...

Hmmm, Life Without the Alarm Clock? I give. You always have the best Spam. Mine come with titles like "Pottery" and end up being about financial stuff. Oh, and if I'm allowed to, I pick Bad Boys in Black Tie.
Hey, (doing happy dance) I have a small (very) TBR stack. Can 5 books be called a TBR pile? Hope Friday treats you well! Get some rest!

Bailey Stewart said...

And we'll make the extra book a draw too, just to be fair for those who aren't up way into the wee hours of the night and couldn't answer first. And if you're paying any attention to the time ... um no, not a lot of rest. It's that Thursday night syndrome. I'm going to try again at 2:00, which is about 15 minutes from now. I can keep my eyes closed (which is why I'm not writing), it's the body that doesn't want to shut down. The brain fell asleep a little while ago.

Lis said...

Ooh Bitten & Smitten, that's on my wishlist since it came out. is it good? :o) Throw my name in for that one or sword, heard good things about that one on romancejunkies.

I'm tempted to say the fake one is the we're pure light beings. I got the morning coat one this week.

Anonymous said...

Bailey, you get the BEST spam.
Well...if there IS such a thing...

Would you believe my word verification to post this message came up as THIS?? :-O

"PRAYHDUR"

Yikes!
I'm on it...

Bailey Stewart said...

No, no, no - not fake but real. It's one that you would look at and think that I made it up because it's just so perfect. I never make up spam - I don't have to, it's too genuinely funny all on it's own.

Scott said...

I'm too afraid to open any spam anymore. With the increased sophistication of virus attacks, my computer might blow up for just opening the mail.

How is your mom?

Anonymous said...

Good grief - The list just gets stranger & stranger. And I DO wish they'd leave Jimmy Carter out of this... such a nice guy...

Hmmm... *I know the answer, I know the answer...*

Bailey Stewart said...

Lis, I have no idea - I haven't read it. I just pick up books at the bookstore that are in relatively good shape and I think someone might like.

Raine - while you're at it, can you pray that WE get some rain? We really need some.

Scott - I don't open the spam, just the subjects - I'd love to open the one about the alarm clock because I'm so curious about what in the heck they're trying to sell. Mom's doing pretty good this morning, thanks for asking. I'm not getting too optimistic yet, as she has had periods of feeling well. I'll know everything is okay when she isn't sick for a couple of days in a row. She is back in bed however - she's spending more and more time there.

Bailey Stewart said...

BEBO - aren't you supposed to be working? Bad girl.

Kelly (Lynn) Parra said...

That dinner one is genius. lol! =D

Christa said...

Speak leave author want (Okay) You made that up, I think, maybe.
If you do ever open one of those alarm clock ones, you'll have to tell us about it.

Well a queen always needs a tiara.

SHALVIS, please

Bailey Stewart said...

Once again, none of them are made up. It's the one that you would think was made up because it's so perfect. Remember, I said that Bebo verified that it did come in on an email.

Kelly - yeah, whoever thought of that was brilliant. Should start a new diet fad. *gg*

Christa - you're down for a Shalvis.

Anonymous said...

You know how much I love Spamarama Friday and I really needed it after the week we've had here in PA. 3 months worth of rain in less than a week! Ugh!! If you know of a way I can send some of this rain your way let me know. I hope your mom continues to feel better.

'Spermamax can get pregnant even a man' Now that's something I'd like to see! *g*

Toss me in for 'Bad Boys on Board'. You have me hooked on the Bad Boys books now, can't wait to get my hands on BAD BOYS SOUTHERN STYLE.

Melissa Amateis said...

Put my name in for Amanda Quick's!

Love your Spamerama! (as always!)

Anonymous said...

I think the Spermamax is the new, looks-made-up one. :)

And put me down for Bad Boys in Black Tie or Bad Boys Over Easy, please. :)

Laurie Wood said...

With Spam I can never tell what's real or not...I'm getting all those letters from Africa and Europe asking for my help in getting money into the country these days - also fake PayPal emails that I keep reporting to their fraud dept. :)

Can I plse put in for either Crusie's Crazy for You or Charlie All Night? Or one of the Anthologies: Man of My Dreams or Double Play? I'd love any of those. My summer reading list is going to be light and easy to go along with my Iced Tea and vodka in the back yard with the mosquitoes and laptop. :) Thanks for all you do to keep us laughing, Bailey! I read you everyday to get a smile.

Michele said...

Oooh, an X-files conspiracy with J. Carter and alarm clocks...how thrilling!

BTW - put me in for a Jill Shalvis book - any will do as I don't think I've read any of hers... yet.

I loved the one about the stuff able to get a guy preggers..did you see the pic on the internet of the guy actually giving birth??
Its about time!

Michele said...

Hey, Laurie, Thanks for making mention of the fake PayPal notice.
I just got one. It WAS in my SPAM file, and I was unsure what I was looking at. (I always check the file before I dump a load)
I didn't click the link as instructed because if it was a fake (which, thanks to you, I do) It would have alerted the spamscum that they might have legit fish on the hook.
I hate being duped.
Glad you hear you complained!!
Kudos!

Meretta said...

It's got to be the 'spermamex'. That's some powerful stuff. LOL. Be careful out there!

AND please put me in for Gennita Low's book. Thanks!

Carol M said...

I think "Your money, morning coat" sounds like it's made up!

I would love to have Eye of the Storm by Dee Davis. Thank you!

Anonymous said...

I think like everyone else, it is the Spermanax... what is that? They are great though!

Please put me in for Unspoken Fear or Charlie All Night. Thanks!

Kristie

Diane said...

I'm back. Thanks for being nice to the music ruler, even when he was being a bit, well, music ruler ish.

Kelley Nyrae said...

I'll put in for Hero for Hire. Great list of books! What a cool contest.

Toni Anderson said...

LOL!!! Your talent is wasted!!!

Bailey Stewart said...

Susan, it's not fair. I heard on the news the other night that Washington D.C. got more rain in one week than we've had the entire year.

Thank you Melissa.

Tori - you don't believe that Spermamax can make a man preggers? LOL

Laurie - I get those too. In fact I had one saved just for this because the typos were hysterical, but decided there was no way to do it without using up a lot of room. And I get the PayPal stuff too.

Michele - they want you to report it so that they can investigate. There's a tutorial on their site that will tell you just how to spot a fake and where to send it. You've never read a Shalvis? And I let you on this blog? LOL

Got it Meretta.

Carol - Uh uh, y'all just have to give up on that spermamax stuff.

Kristie - see above comment. I'll give y'all a hint. Someone has mentioned it.

Thank you Stacy - and may I mention that you look wonderful. Getting a book sold does wonders.

It wasn't that hard Diane - he's kind of endearing, in a multiple personality way. LOL

Thanks Kelley - every last Friday of the month.

Thanks Toni - I think ...

catslady said...

I think it's "Speak leave author".

Lots of great books - would love the Dee Davis, Amanda Quick , or Penelope Neri.

Sorry to be so awol - been working with insurance agencies etc. after the car accident but also my friend is on vacation this week and I've been keeping busy.

Anonymous said...

I'd say that "Spermamax can get pregnant even a man" sounds like the most improbable one even if the people don't speak English. I guess the other would be the one with "submission".

Great fun and laughs as usual. And what's with Jimmy Carter? I really must have a look at my other SPAM file to see if I can find any of the ones you have. I recognized a few of them though, e.g., your opening one.

I'll go for Mann's "Code of Honor" since someone else has already chosen "Eye of the Storm". But anyway, I don't think I have this Mann book. I'd also like to get the first of Jill's firefighters books "White Heat" sometime. I'm just finishing "Hiding Out at the Circle C". You can really see how her "voice" is developing over the years. That sure is an exciting book.

Hope you had a good night's sleep in spite of the cat warmers and pillow hogs. Are there 5 cats on that bed? I need new glasses so I'm not sure.

I agree with you, Bebo, re: Carter.

Anonymous said...

Oh, by the way, I heard on the news recently that some of our Londoners were nabbed for running an e-mail scam to which people actually contributed. Part of it was that your debt would be totally eliminated. Yeah, now who would fall for something like that.

Do you want me to send you some of my SPAM headlines? As I mentioned before, very few are the same as ones you've used here. They'll be coming from a different e-mail account. And they'll only be for Spamarama. I don't really have any pithy comments like you do.