1. If you are under the covers, never, NEVER, move your feet, unless you are wearing steel-lined booties.
2. Expect at some point in the night to become a speed bump on the NASCAT circuit.
3. When the temperature is the hottest, the cat that gives off the most body heat will be glued to your side.
4. Waking up with a cat butt in your face is not that unusual. Waking up being stared down by a cat is also common.
5. If a bug, rodent, etc is caught in the middle of the night, they will bring it to bed with them.
6. You really didn’t want to move that leg did you?
7. Make sure that every cover you want is on you before the cat gets on the bed. Otherwise, forget it.
8. They will decide at some point during the night that “mommy’s” face MUST be washed.
9. The earlier you have get up is proportional to the amount of noise they make AND how late they make it.
10. Fur balls are not always optional.
11. If a cat must throw up, he/she will insist on doing it on the bed. Especially if the sheets are clean.
12. Your side of the bed is much more appealing than theirs.
13. A cat has to bathe itself frequently, and they just have to do it next to your face at 1:00 a.m., loudly.
14. Sleeping in is an unknown concept.
15. If you have more than one cat, be prepared to be tied down much like Gulliver on Lilliput.
16. Cat’s breath can be almost as bad as a dog’s.
17. Moving fingers ARE a target.
18. Those are their pillows, get your own. And then they will be their pillows too.
19. No matter where you are laying, you will always be in the path of where they are going.
20. Don’t even bother switching to the couch … they’ll follow you.
And don't forget that this is bookdraw weekend. Look at Friday's post for the backstock list and just tell me which one you want. And you might want to read the comments while you are there as there's sort of a second silly contest going on.
28 comments:
So true, SO TRUE! YOu forgot one, for those of us that have stairs. If you DON"T want to fall down the stairs, learn how to step OVER a cat. Because they aren't moving!
So true sweetie - but since I don't sleepwalk, I left that one out. LOL
I don't sleep walk. I do however feel a need to check the locks one more time before bed! Oh, and cat breath CAN be as bad as a dogs? WORSE, oh gosh, MUCH worse!! I love your rules of kitties by the way!!! And the picture? TOO CUTE! They kicked you out of bed didn't they?
It's bad enough with just the one. I'm testing my new pic. :o)
Oh lordy! these were great! & too true!!
My neurotic orange tabby has decided that the time that Mommy has to get up is 5am, and he's become my new VERY LOUD alarm clock. Every day for a wk. Such joy-joy from such a fur-ball.
And Bailey? Sweetie, I thought you were going to sleep early last night? Yeah, right.
This picture was taken in January or March. The orange blob next to my pillows is Bebo's cat Jack, mentioned in her post. That's Devlin at the end of the bed - those who weren't here then, Devlin is gone now. But that's Seamas (orange/white), Aidan (black) and Neely Shae. I don't know where Bailey was. And no Brandy - contrary to what I wrote, I kick them out of bed.
Loreth - Thank you. Toni said something yesterday about my wasting my talent on spam, so I decided to try my hand at once again doing a funny blog post from scratch, no emailed funny stories. It's nice to know that I can still make people laugh. I have two cats who move like that. Fortunately, mom can't lift her feet that high so that doesn't bother her.
Oh wow Diane - I'll have to get over to your blog so I can see it better, but looks great from here.
Bebo - I tried, but Toni kind of issued a challenge, so I stayed up and strained my remaining brain cell. Then mom decided that 5:00 was when we all were getting up. Sheesh.
Oh, and I had to lose the tiara for work. I miss it already. LOL
Blimey - is there any room left in the bed for you???
This post reminds me why we have a dog. *g* SO much easier.
I issued a challenge? I kept you up when you have 500 kitties in your house? You have a FINE blog!!
In the UK saying you are wasting your talent is a compliment, love :)
However--I did very much enjoy your post.
THIS post is exactly why our cats started sleeping in the basement. Of course, they didn't like that much and they shredded the drywall in protest. Imagine that? Cats with attitude? Who would have thought? ;)
Meretta--my dogs shred drywall. And blankets and toys and furniture and... see any similarities???
Cute cats! I'm really starting to want a cat!!!
Lol, Eve! And so true. Though I agree with Kelley - you have lovely cats!
They are all so cute!
That's so sweet that they want to wash mommy's face! lol
I don't have a cat, but am cat sitting this weekend for my mom's kitty. I now understand the NASCAT circut. Completely. Thank you.
Oh but Kate, our dog used to sleep with me and she did pretty much the same things, except for the bringing us rodents and bugs.
Toni - not really, but you did get me to thinking about how I no longer do funny posts from scratch. I'm not using the noggin enough.
Naw Meretta - really? LOL
Toni - that's what I told Kate.
Kelley - cats are cute!
Thank you Olga - they think so. LOL
Carol - they want to wash the faces of just about anybody.
Okay - got to get back to work, we are very busy this morning with folks getting books for their four day weekends.
Hey Marty - and getting out yellow flags don't work. *gg*
Oh those are so much my life lol. We have a king sized bed to accomodate the 5 cats (used to be a dog too). Every single one of your statements is sooooo true. I'll add just one - never close a bathroom door because they follow you there too. I usually have at least one on my lap, one in the sink and one nipping at my feet. Thanks for the laughs.
How true they all are, especially A cat has to bathe itself frequently, and they just have to do it next to your face at 1:00 a.m., loudly.!
If you try to step over Callie she has a tendency to bite your ankle. Ouch
I knew there was a reason I liked cats best when they lived with someone else. *g*
I'm not a cat person. Scary, I know, but I'm allergic to them and I really live in fear of their claws. *grin*
Now give me my big Border Collie/Retriever mix and I'm in heaven! (Plus his claws aren't sharp!) :-)
Ah... now I know why I only have one dog and one man. It's crowded enough in our bed as it is!
Oh and I forgot, I tagged you on my blog.
Oh my, sounds just like sleeping with the monsters too. MM snores worse than DH.
Love it! So, so true. I slept with mine until Martin and I were married. They aren't allowed anymore but I usually let them sleet with me when he is away.
The moving the feet part cracked me up. I used to get so mad and was afraid to move because they would attack my foot if I did. Though mine were good and learned early they could not sleep near Mommy's face (allergies) and would settle for butt, between the legs or on my back!
And when I would have night terrors and run out of the room or something they would be there wide eyed and breathing heavy like "What the hell?"
What a brilliant picture. Oh, and it is so, so true. :o)
So funny and yet SO true!
2. Expect at some point in the night to become a speed bump on the NASCAT circuit.
OMG!! So true!!
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