Friday, July 21, 2006

Baked Spam

I’m sorry this is late, but I stayed up until 2:00 a.m. and still couldn’t get onto the internet, so I gave up. Like most mornings this week, I also can’t get on until close to 8:00 a.m. This, of course, can be irritating to my late-night readers. The only thing I can think of (without actually calling the internet company because that would be the logical thing to do) is that because of the heat people are only getting on their computers early in the morning or late at night. Bebo is having the same problem. I’m also putting off calling because a) phone calls put me in a panic and b) half of the time it’s someone in a foreign country that I can’t understand. So anyway, here’s today’s spam.

Open something new for yourself. (Okay, I’ll start with the next spam message)
Your neighbors lost their alarm clock. (That’s what I get for trying something new)
What would you say about this? (What I’ve always been saying. The neighbors are morons.)
Question. (What now?)
Oh, you are not able to control your feelings! (What do you mean by that? Are you trying to say I’m a hot head? Why you freakin’ little piece of …)
Would you like to be able to hold a brick on your dick? (Are we back to this? Here’s the thing – I’m a woman. But if I were a man ... um, no.)
Well it’s up to you. (It is? Wow, a heady sense of power has come over me.)
Decide yet? (Yeah, strong dick or not, I think I'll keep what I have.)
Proof of blonde intelligence. (I’m not blonde, and I’ve never seen any proof.)
Once my friend and I decided to bet who can sleep with more women in one week. (My money’s on George Clooney.)
Here you go. (What? George Clooney?)
Gimme your thoughts on this. (I have lots of thoughts about George Clooney and I’m not about to share them with you.)
Having bought a watch here you’ll enjoy checking the time. (That’s something the neighbors can’t do.)
Get out of the house. (Really? Can I? All Right!!!)

But this is the best. I got an email from Jesus and it said Wowza? See, Jesus likes my spam too. LOL

Also, please be thinking about Siobhan whose cat Charlie has gone missing.

15 comments:

Anonymous said...

WOW! Am I really the first?

Once again you've made my Friday!

Bailey Stewart said...

Susan - yes, I was a bit late with this and I was beginning to think no one was going to show up. I'm glad I could make your day.

Stacy - yes, indeedy, the sender column said Jesus, so I'm running with it. LOL

Lis said...

An email fromn Jesus? Wow, I'm too jealous! Beats my margarine cupcake spam any day of the week *g*

I panic on phone calls too. :o/

Anonymous said...

Wowza! It's not every day you get email from Jesus!

Anonymous said...

I'm jealous. I only get spam from the "Dallli Lama"

catslady said...

Hugs Siohban - hope Charlie shows up soon.

You get to talk with Jesus and apparently I've been in Hong Kong for the last 2 months - at least that's what my charge card is showing. If anyone has callwave service be warned because somehow they are responsible.

Laurie Wood said...

Hi Bailey - my Penelope Neri book came this week, thanks so much! As for Jesus, maybe it's just a little sawed-off punk named "heyzeus" who's pulling your chain.;) I don't know how you get such cool spam, anything in my bulk folder is from "real" people, which I always look over to see if they'd make good character names. :) Love your spamarama - try and get some sleep, kiddo, I have a tremendous migraine from lack of sleep so I can commisserate with you!

Brandy said...

Yay! There IS Spamarama friday!! Don't blame you about the phone calls. I usually have Dh call people for me. A bit chicken, but there you go.

Siobhan I am so sorry about Charlie, you are in my prayers.

Toni Anderson said...

:)

I'm like Brandy--get someone else to call! That might be tricky for you :(

Sandy J said...

I love spamarama Fridays!

Shesawriter said...

"Proof of blonde intelligence. (I’m not blonde, and I’ve never seen any proof.)"

ROFLMAO! Good one, Bailey. :-)

Bailey Stewart said...

Lis - of course it does. LOL

Tori - no it isn't.

Dalli Lama is good Marty.

Jeanne - what's callwave? And did you enjoy Hong Kong? *gg*

No Laurie - it was Jesus. He and I have a connection you know - we have the same birthday. LOL That means he's a Capricorn too! Sorry about the migraine, I used to have those and thank God we found the trigger and I haven't had any since.

Brandy - can I borrow DH?

Toni - I can't seem to train the cats to make phone calls for me - ingrates.

Thanks Sandy.

Tanya - that ones really for Christa. We have this little inside joke going, but I'm glad it tickled your funny bone.

Brandy said...

I have to share him with his job now. Loaning him out long-distance might be hard :o) .

Meretta said...

Surely your internet woes are caused by leaves? Do you want me to send DH down to hack away at some trees? ;)

Thanks for the laughs!

Bailey Stewart said...

Brandy - darn!

Meretta - don't think it's leaves, but you could send him anyway - we have a lot of dead limbs on the tree. Look - it's working tonight!