Snicker Wednesday

I got the following from Bebo - have a mid-week giggle

GAMES FOR WHEN WE ARE OLDER

1. Sag, you're It.

2. Hide and go pee.

3. 20 questions shouted into your good ear.

4. Kick the bucket

5. Red Rover, Red Rover, the nurse says Bend Over.

6. Musical recliners.

7. Simon says something incoherent.

8. Pin the Toupee on the bald guy

SIGNS OF MENOPAUSE

1. You sell your home heating system at a yard sale.

2. You have to write post-it notes with your kids' names on them.

3. You change your underwear after a sneeze.

OLD IS WHEN:

1. Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.

2. You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along

3. Getting a little action means I don't need fiber today.

4. Getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot.

5. An all-nighter means not getting up to pee!

Ponderisms:

I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out?'

Who was the first person to say, 'See that chicken there? I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its butt.'

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if he's going to look up there anyway?

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

Enough is enough, is enough, is enough

Bebo sent me something the other day about how wealthy people aren’t always happy, you know, that money can’t buy you happiness sort of thing. It got me thinking about how when I was a child, back in the olden days, after I’d walked ten miles to school in six foot snow uphill both ways, that I wanted to be filthy rich. I wanted to marry (insert movie/TV/singer crush of the month) and live in a Vanderbilt-type mansion and have tons of kids. Unfortunately, since the love of my life, Hugh, is happily married, I’ve had to modify that dream. No, really, as I’ve grown up I’ve discovered that what I want in life has changed. I just want enough. You know, comfort vs. wealth. What do I want?

- enough money to pay my bills
- enough money for rent on a two bedroom apartment (notice no Vanderbilt here?)
- enough money for a flat-screen TV (okay, there’s still some “wealth” ideas LOL)
- enough money for a new car
- enough money to give to a charity or two
- enough money for groceries
- if I want to buy a nice gift for someone for their birthday or Christmas, I want enough money to do so
- I don’t ever, ever want to have to put a furbaby to sleep because I can’t afford the treatment (my poor Devlin)
- I want good health care
- I want health care period
- Dental insurance
- Full coverage for car insurance
- I want to be able to buy books when I want to
- Hmmm, I don’t want money to ever be the focus of any such list again
- If the car needs work, I want to be able to pay for it
- I don’t want to use credit cards
- Digital TV?
- A PC with all the bells and whistles
- TIVO
- A laptop with all the bells and whistles
- Internet on my phone
- Pay off all of the credit cards that I defaulted on
- A trip to Ireland (Okay, there are still some big dreams)


I’m sure that there are a few other things, but nothing “ostentatious”. I don’t want a lot any more, I just want … enough.

How about you?

Dr. Jeckyl and Mr. Spam

Bring her to Seventh Heaven. (Can’t, it’s been canceled.)
We represent (The lollipop guild)
You are young and strong but helpless in bed? There is s way out! (I just move the cats)
Your wife will notice that for sure. (The only thing I can be sure of is that I would notice if I had a wife)
Secrets to being huge and thick unveiled. (That’s no secret – eat!!!!)
Hi sweety! Remember me? (I try to block out unpleasant things)
If not now, when? (Um, how about never?)
Do you love me or not? (NOT!!)
Our neighbors lost their alarm clock. (Hush, I’m trying to dig here.)

The picture? That's Dr. Frankenaidan!!!!

Hope you all have a safe and happy Halloween!!!

Wednesday, Wherefore Art Though Wednesday

You know I could sit here and stare at this screen forever and still not have something to blog about. Well, except for the excitement I had Tuesday morning. I’m already running about 5 minutes late when I yanked open the front door this morning, only to have a sheet of paper fall to the ground. Usually I just glance at them and toss them on the table near the door and go on my way. For some reason that morning I really looked at what I held in my hands. Yep. Panic time. Jeanne, you really don’t want to leave yet, it does get better. I think. Anyway the apartment complex was doing maintenance that day and would be coming by to change the a/c filter. OMG. I don’t think I’ve shown a picture of my office set-up yet, so I’ll try to describe it. I’m using the dining room, a small area off of the kitchen. On one wall is the a/c whatchamacalit; the panel thing with the cold air intake. My desk slides up against it on one side. It only covers the last two slots of the vent. I then have some shelves on the desk. These have no backs, so by leaving the bottom one empty the a/c intake vent is clear and does its job. Did I mention that it’s all on carpet? Did I also mention that my father made this desk and it is solid wood? Didn’t think so. Wake up Brandy, it’ll be over soon. I quickly pulled the shelves off of the desk, scattering parts of the set-up throughout the room and into the living room. Then I looked at the desk. How in the world was I going to move it? If you grab onto the top of the desk to pull, it lifts up. I don’t know what’s going on there, but it made it impossible to pull on the only viable part of the desk. Great. Next I moved the PC and monitor off of the desk as they are a bit heavy. At this point it was around a quarter to 9. Did I mention I have to be at work by 9? Did I mention it takes me about 15 minutes to get there if the lights are fond of me that day? Didn’t think so. I stared back at the mammoth white elephant in front of me. Swan? This is more important than that business call, put the phone down. Where was I? Hmmm, oh, the desk! Thank you Christa. So I stood looking at the desk wondering how in the hell I was going to move it. I really hate this desk, but my father made it. So I’m sentimentally attached to it. But I hate it. Really. So, with the top of the desk out of the equation, that only left the bottom. The desk was a little lighter without the PC and monitor so I was able to lift it a little and “walk” it forward a little bit. Repeat on the other side; back and forth I went until it was out far enough that I could walk behind it. Susan, that blog isn’t as interesting as this one, get back here. It was now approximately a quarter after 9. Did I mention that I get paid by the hour? And did I mention that I’m running out of money, so every dollar is valuable? Didn’t think so. I ended up being a half hour late for work. Thankfully I’m working with someone else who has a key to the store or they would have been up a creek without a keyboard. Or something like that. That was my Tuesday. The a/c filter has been changed, but no longer looks exactly flush against the wall. This could be interesting …. Hi Raine!!

Oh, the picture? That's Tramp and the Halloween picture I made for him.

There's a Method to my Monday

As I’m sitting here another cold front is moving in. Tomorrow should be great temperature wise – 45 in the morning, 65 for the high. These are the temperatures that I enjoy the most. Pants, flannel shirts, flannel sheets, snuggling down into the blankets. Piling the bed with lots of blankets, the room so cold you could see your breath – I sleep better when it’s cold. I’m really not much on turning on the heat – only for a shower, or to protect the pipes – I’d much rather snuggle. I have more energy the colder it gets; you could almost say that I come alive when the temperatures drop. I do have a seasonal disorder, just not the one you hear so much about – the winter blues. Nope, I have the summer time blues (isn’t there a song there somewhere?). If I sweat when I move, I don’t like it. LOL

What about you? What’s your favorite temperature – and why?

Another picture that I made. This is Monster Cat, and this is his Halloween Picture.

Rocky Horror Spam Show

Genuine Passion, Genuine Joy. (Fake boobs, male enhancements)
We’re just starting. (Wake me when it’s over.)
The aim of this message is to help you achieve better health. (No, the aim of this message is to get me to spend my money. I ain’t stupid … )
Watches alert! (Why? Have they been stealing time?)
Do you know what chicks like? (Hmmm, let me think … seed?)
Is this correct? (According to Wikipedia.)
What every woman wants from their man. (A credit card with no limit?)

Oh, that's Aidan at the right end, with his friends Monster Cat and Zeke. Yeah, I'm silly.

It's a Conspiracy

Hmmm, it’s Wednesday again. Wasn’t it Wednesday this time last week? And the week before? Can’t we be more original than that? I mean, the same days of the week over and over again. This is getting boring. I make the following suggestions. Monday will now be HughJackmanday; Tuesday will be GeorgeClooneyday; Wednesday can now be referred to as Giveusamilliondollarsday (I like that a lot more than Wednesday); Thursday, chocolatewithnocaloriesday; Friday can become flipyourbossthefingerwithoutgettingfiredday (I know, a little cumbersome, but it’s a nice thought); Saturday becomes noacneday; and Sunday will forever be myteamwillnotloselikethecowboysdidday. Simple, right? And not so ordinary and mundane the way we have it now. Whoever named the days of the week so many eons ago did not in any way have an imagination. Do you think that God would have named them after Greek gods and such? Nope, He would have named them Redroseday, Rainbowday, Babydeerday, babieslaughday, and, well, you get the idea – Sunday would have been lovethyneighborday. We’ve even had to go so far as to give them nicknames to make them more interesting. Hump Day, Thirsty Thursday, TGIF!!!!! It’s really bad when you have to spell it. And what’s with these months and seasons? Here in Texas, Spring should be renamed Dontblink. Fall will be Sneeze, Winter can be Notlongenough and Summer, well, we’re in Texas right? Summer would be the Hell Season. Yeppers. I just think we could have done a much better job of naming things. Giraffe? Hippopotamus? Don’t get me started on those.

Yep, it’s definitely Ramblingday …….

Oh, the picture? That's Bubba on a date with a kitty named Cookie ...

OH NO, I ALMOST FORGOT!!!!!

About to close down the computer and get to bed when I remembered that it was Sunday night and I hadn't done the blog post yet. Can we all say "OOPS"? So I searched my emails and found this one from both JJ and Bebo. Hope you enjoy. And yes, this was one of my inspirations for Bud and Ernie.




Subject: If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today . You have to be old enough to remember Abbott and Costello, and too old to REALLY understand computers, to fully appreciate this. For those of us (like me) who sometimes get flustered by our computers, please read on...

If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous sketch, "Who's on First?" might have turned out something like this:

COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO: Thanks, I'm setting up an office in my den, and I'm thinking about buying a computer.



ABBOTT: Mac?





COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.





ABBOTT: Your computer?




COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.



ABBOTT: Mac?



COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.



ABBOTT: What about Windows?



COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?



ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?



COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows?



ABBOTT: Wallpaper.





COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.

ABBOTT: Software for Windows?





COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business

. What do you have?



ABBOTT: Office.



COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?



ABBOTT: I just did.



COSTELLO: You just did what?



ABBOTT: Recommend something.



COSTELLO: You recommended thing?



ABBOTT: Yes.



COSTELLO: For my office? ABBOTT: Yes.



COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!

ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.



COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?



ABBOTT: Word.



COSTELLO: What word?



ABBOTT: Word in Office.



COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.



ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.



COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?



ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue "W".



COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue "w" if you don't start with some straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?



ABBOTT: Money.



COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?



ABBOTT: Money.



COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?



ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.



COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?



ABBOTT: Money.



COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?



ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.



COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?



ABBOTT: One copy.



COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?



ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.



COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?



ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!



A few days later.



ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?



COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?



ABBOTT: Click on "START".............

The Spammy Returns

Iva debt (Iva debt too!)
I meet and chat with you. (Sorry, my calendar is full …)
From stunning Brunette (Oooooh, Hugh!!!)
You are what you wear. (Now you tell me …)
Woman hunt movie (That Sarah Palin, she’ll hunt anything)
Salute (No, a bow will do)
Doctor’s secretly recommend you this store (Is the store that embarrassed?)
Old secret manner to solve your passion problem (Tried that, it doesn’t work)
Don’t you agree to be sick! (I’ll try not to if you agree not to make me sick)
Confirm your order! (Okay, okay all ready, I’ll confirm that I want you to bow!!!)

Calendar Says Wednesday, but That Has to be Wrong

Wow! It’s Wednesday already? Gadzooks this vacation has gone by fast and my hand isn’t near ready to go to work on Thursday. The butterfly strips are holding on fast, so that means I’m going to have to wrap the hand in gauze to keep it completely sealed in that dirty, dingy bookstore. Sheesh.

Tuesday went by rather quietly. I didn’t do a lot, just some photoshopping to keep my mind off of things. Can you see Bubba in the picture above? Of course you can, ya can’t hide that orange body. This is another contest entry, like the two before. This program that I’m using is free and it’s called GIMP. You can download it – I think its GIMP.com, but check, you probably can find it if you Google GIMP. It’s an easy program to learn; I’m still in the amateurish stage, but I’m having fun with it.

We are going to have great weather on Wednesday, well except for the rain maybe. The temps will be more fall-like. Sometime in the afternoon we’ll creep to the mid-70s, and then a cool front will come in and the temps will drop into the 60s by evening. It will be a perfect day to turn off the A/C and open windows.

Can you believe it’s the middle of October now? I do love this time of year but it’s also my most melancholy; the holiday season. Not to mention mom’s birthday in November. Bebo wants to have Thanksgiving at her apartment. Don’t know if anyone else will make it (friends) or if it will be another Thanksgiving with just the two of us. Oh wait, I spent Thanksgiving alone last year, so having it with just Bebo will be an improvement.

Here I am talking about Thanksgiving and we haven’t hit Halloween yet. Who do I think I am, a department store? Halloween, my first in an apartment. I don’t know how much trick or treating is done here; there are a lot of kids in the complex. So I guess I’ll buy candy – I will either have to buy something I don’t like so I won’t eat it before Halloween, or at least throw in a bag for me.

So, what are y’all up to? Anything exciting, titillating, mysterious, adventurous – come on y’all, you know I live vicariously through you!

Have a great Wednesday, thank you so much for the wonderful comments yesterday – I appreciated them more than you can know.

I miss you mommie

November 15, 1928 - October 14, 2006

I thought of you with love today ,,,


but that is nothing new,


I thought about you yesterday and days before that too.


I think of you in silence I often speak your name,


all I have are memories and your picture in a frame...


Your memory is my keepsake ~with which I'll never part ~


God has you in His keeping~I have you in my heart."

Author Unknown

We'll look at Bev from both sides now

So on October 3 I had to take Bebo for some tests – an endoscopy (sp?) and a colonoscopy. The title of this blog? That’s what the anesthesiologists sang to Bebo (whose real name is Beverly) as she was going to sleep. LOL It was pretty funny. We (the nurse and I) had quite a time trying to get her to wake up. I knew she was coming out of it when she called me a bitch. Yeppers, that’s my Bebo. And it was that sort of a day. On the way over to her apartment that morning I passed the CVS Pharmacy. They have one of those, ohhh what are they called, um, marquee signs out front advertising their specials. There is was, Flogers coffee. Yep, the best part of waking up is a flogging with your cup. We laughed about that for a good couple of days. The results of the tests - the good news is that there isn’t any cancer or anything; the bad part is that they still don’t know what is causing her anemia. So now she has to have one of those tests where she swallows the camera/pill and they take pictures.

I got the stitches out Sunday morning. They had already begun falling out on their own anyway. The wound is still gaping a little, so the doctor put on butterfly strips and I have to keep the hand pretty immobile (like that’s going to happen) until the strips fall off. I hope they do so before Thursday as that’s when I return from my vacation. It’ll be hard to keep the area sanitary in that dirty store if the wound isn’t closed.

That’s really all there is – I know, you can hardly contain your excitement over my full and vivacious life!!

Oh, and can you find Aidan in the picture above? You can click on it to make it larger, I think. LOL

I miss you daddy

May 31, 1922 - October 11, 2000

Spamenstein

do u need Good pay job?? (no, I need those low paying ones)
I absolutely love you! (Are you sure?)
Here (What? Has it had its shots?)
Leg craps (I’d see a doctor about that – and quick.)
Muhhaahahahahahahahaha (It wasn’t that funny.)
Titanic dimensions without much effort. (But the Titanic sank … )
From Susie (Leave her out of this, will ya? And she’ll tell you that it sank too. Haven’t you seen the movie?)
Oxygen debt (Oh great! What other kind of debt can I get into? No, don’t answer that. Is there a bailout?)
Debt advice (Don’t take another breath until you can pay for the last one?)
Don’t allow ladies to offend you (Wonderful! See, I’m not paranoid ….)
Say I can have sex all night long. (I can have sex all night long … Sorry, didn’t work. Are there Ruby Slippers involved?)




Pssst Can you see BooBear in the picture above? Look closely ....

Wisdom of Larry the Cable Guy

Hand is pretty sore after work today. Luckily, I've started vacation, so don't have to go back until next Thursday!

1. A day without sunshine is like night.

2. On the other hand, you have different fingers.

3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

5. Remember, half the people you know are below average.

6. He who laughs last thinks slowest.

7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.

9. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.

10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

11. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.

12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.

13. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.

14. OK, so what's the speed of dark?

15. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

16. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

17. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?

18. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

19. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?

20. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

21. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, 'What the heck happened?'

22. Just remember -- if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.

23. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

24. Life isn't like a box of chocolates. It's more like a jar of jalapeno's. What you do today, might burn your butt tomorrow.

I didn't see this in the cards

If you are here before Bebo comments, please come back and read it. She will explain the title of this post, as well as the fact that I have 4 stitches and it hurts to type.

START WITH THE TITLE EXPLANATION BEBO

In the mean time, enjoy this little video. See you Wednesday.

Goat yells for his mom - in English

I've Got Your Number

Still not quite up to Spam snuff, so here's something that I found interesting. I'd like to know what you come up with. For me, I used Bailey Anne Stewart.

How Numerology Works

When working with a name, numbers have corresponding letters. The numbers are added up and broken down into single digits in order to give you your final Destiny Number.

The Number Assignments

1= A, J, S
2= B, K, T
3= C, L, U
4= D, M, V
5= E, N, W
6= F, O, X
7= G, P, Y
8= H, Q, Z
9= I, R

How to Find Your Destiny Number

Write down your full name (first, middle, and last). This is the name you were given at birth—not your married name, etc.
Using the table above, write down the number matched to each letter in each name (i.e. BAILEY = 2, 1, 9, 3, 5, 7).
Add the numbers together for each name (i.e. 2+1+9+3+5+7= 27).
You will most likely get a double digit for each name; break down each double digit number you get by adding the first and second digit to get one number (i.e. from the 27 above, add together 2+7 to get 9, which is the number for my first name).
Add up the final numbers you get from each name (i.e. my middle name number is 7 and my last name number is 7, so 9+7+7 =23).
Once again, break down any double-digit numbers into one digit to get your final Destiny Number (i.e. from the 23 above, add together 2+3 to get 5, which is my final Destiny Number).

In numerology, the basic vibrations are numbers 1 through 9, but the numbers 11 and 22 are master numbers and should not be reduced to a single digit since these are master vibrations.
There are plenty of books and Web sites that will give you a thorough analysis of your Destiny Number, but here’s a basic rundown on what your Destiny Number means for you:

1 is determined, autonomous, and self-reliant
2 is loyal, tactful, and analytical
3 is passionate, positive, and fun-loving
4 is sensible, traditional, and serious
5 is bold, temperamental, and sensual
6 is responsible, cautious, and domestic
7 is spiritual, unconventional, and somewhat reclusive
8 is money-oriented, assured, and authoritative
9 is versatile, compassionate, and worldly
11 is enlightened, deep, and high-strung
22 is ambitious, a global planner, and motivated

So Bailey Stewart is bold, temperamental, and sensual. Yeah, I can live with that. My real name number is 9. What I find fascinating is the first line in the linked page for number 9: With a Destiny number of 9 you are meant to bring charity, beauty, art, romance and perfection into the world. Wow, I'm meant to bring art and romance into the world. I can live with that too.

So, what's your number?

Oh Pain What a Wednesday It Be

Hello bloggers
Hello lurkers
Here I am again
Going beserkers
While my muses
Are in the tropics
I’m stuck looking
For a topic.

What’s she doing?

Writing her blog.

Shouldn’t she have her hands on the keyboard?

Technicalities, technicalities.

So Bud, what did you do this summer?

Skied in the Alps, ran with the bulls, paraglided off the cliffs in Mexico. What about you Ern?

Oh, I had two corns removed and a bikini wax.

That’s it?

They were huge corns.

I don’t even want to know about the bikini wax.

Brazilian.

Thank you for that picture.

Where did all of these cobwebs come from?

Place has been empty for a while.

Whoo, you mean no one’s been home?

Nope, but they left this light bulb going.

Kind of dim.

Why are you out of breath?

Had to take the stairs.

What about the elevator?

Wouldn’t go all the way to the top.

Maaan, this head is getting to be a bit run down.

You’re telling me. I think that’s grass growing in her ears.

Notice something?

I notice a lot of things.

None of them important.

What?

She only pulls us out when she has nothing to blog about.

You mean we’re a crutch?

Yep.

Does that mean her brain is broken?

There are some that think so.

Well I love her.

That’s ‘cuz your brain is broken too.

Hey! I resemble that remark.

Ern?

What Bud?

Tell the nice people to have a good day.

What nice people?

The ones reading this.

You mean there are people out there?

So they say.

Can they see me?

No, you’re just a voice to them.

Good, ‘cuz my wax is growing back.

Ernie, are you nekkid again?

Yeppers.

*sigh* Have a nice day Ernie.

You have a nice day too Bud.

If it's Monday, then yesterday had to be Sunday

Yeah, I've lost sight of my days. LOL

I really don’t know if I’m perturbed or not. Hmmm? Oh, perturbed. You know, put out, etc. not that I put out or anything, uh, sheesh, where was I? Oh, perturbed. Anyhoo, there’s this Airborne commercial and it, … yes, I said commercial, keep up will you! There’s this Airborne commercial and … I don’t care if it’s spelled with or without the “e” at the end, leave me alone. Airborne has this commercial with Sebastian the romance book hero and I don’t know whether I’m amused or insulted. I mean, I’ve spent a lot of time flapping my gums defending romances as no longer being filled with Fabiolics and bodice ripping, and along comes this commercial that seems to negate (yes, party word) everything I’ve said. Well, not everything, ‘cuz frankly it doesn’t concern everything, just the stuff that pertains (ooooh, I’m on a roll now) to romance novels. Confused you yet? Good, I’ve been trying hard to gather people into my little world. Anyhoo, there he is, Sebastian, an example of manly manhood with his flowing brown locks, his bare chest, loin cloth like thingie – I can’t tell if he’s supposed to be Native American, Aztec, jungle king, whatever, but he’s a walking, non-talking example of the kind of romance hero that belongs in another era. And he seems clueless. Yes, that’s the kind of man I want, all looks but no brain …

So like I said before – giggly or growlie? High-horse, soapbox or do I just let it go as an example of my whacked out brain looking for romance conspiracies. After all, I don’t see Oliver Stone hanging around. Don’t know what I’m talking about? Here’s the link. After the screen pulls up, click on “who is Sebastian” or something similar (oops, fragment). Yeah, that’s it. See? The wigglet wonder in the thongs – on his feet ladies, on his feet. *rolling eyes*

I mean, if they’re going to pull out a romance hero, why not something this for example?

So there you are, Bailey's dream romance heroes. Anyone you would choose? Oh, and don't forget to weigh in on the Sebastian thingie.

I'm feeling much better now thank you!! Hardly any wheezing today at all, and after I switched to menthol cigarettes, hardly any coughing either.

And I can't close without a sincere goodbye to a great man. People often complain about stars who ask for money for causes, saying stuff like "why don't they put their money where their mouth is" and the like. Well, Paul Newman did. All of the profits from the Newman's Own line went to charity. Yeah, neato isn't it.

Paul Newman

January 26, 1925

September 26, 2008

Still Gone With the Wind

I'm still not up to snuff (what does that really mean?), so I'm tossing a few more funny things your way, or at least I think they're funny - but then, I'm on drugs ...



Oh, and JJ? She can't poke me - I strike back! LOL

A Little Humor ...

A man and his wife were working in their garden one day and the man looks over at his wife and says: 'Your butt is getting really big, I mean really big. I bet your butt is bigger than the barbecue.'

With that he proceeded to get a measuring tape and measure the grill and then went over to where his wife was working and measured his wife's bottom.'Yes, I was right ... your butt is two inches wider than the barbecue!!!'

The woman chose to ignore her husband. Later that night in bed, the husband is feeling a little frisky. He makes some advances towards his wife who completely brushes him off.

'What's wrong?' he asks.

She answers: 'Do you really think I'm going to fire up this big-ass grill for one little weenie???

************

Funny Ads

These are advertisements that have appeared in papers across the country (or so we are led to believe)
- Mt. Kilimanjaro, the breathtaking backdrop for the Serena Lodge. Swim in the lovely pool while you drink it all in.
- The hotel has bowling alleys, tennis courts, comfortable beds, and other athletic facilities.
- Toaster: A gift that every member of the family appreciates. Automatically burns toast.
- Sheer stockings. Designed for fancy dress, but so serviceable that lots of women wear nothing else.
- Stock up and save. Limit: one.
- We build bodies that last a lifetime.
- For Rent: 6-room hated apartment.
- Man, honest. Will take anything.

*******************

moar funny pictures

Did someone get the license plate of that truck?

I have asthmatic bronchitis - like I've never had that before, right? Anyway, Bebo took me to the doctor because I really couldn't drive myself. I'm on bedrest for a few days and should be able to return to work on Saturday.

Since I'm under the weather and don't feel like blogging, here's something to give you a giggle.

Take care!

Living with the Wolf Man

The Wolf Man comes home one day from a long day at the office. "How was work, dear?" his wife asks.

"Listen! I don't want to talk about work!" he shouts.

"Okay. Would you like to sit down and eat a nice home cooked meal?" she asks nicely.

"Listen!" he shouts again. "I'm not hungry! I don't wanna eat! All right! Is that all right with you? Can I come home from work and just do my own thing without you forcing food down my throat? Huh?"

At this moment, the wolf man started growling, and throwing things around the apartment in a mad rage.

Looking out the window, his wife sees a full moon and says to herself, "Well, I guess it's that time of the month."

Do you believe in miracles?

(UPDATE, FEBRUARY 26, 2009:oops, I guess I shouldn't have deleted those pictures from photobucket, huh? But read anyway if you hadn't, the full meaning of this blog is in the story near the end)

I know I’ve talked a lot about Hurricane Ike but could you please indulge me one more time? To set up this story, I need to show you a few more pictures of the damage from the storm. Please read to the end. Thank you. Unless specified, all pictures are of Galveston.

Here’s the hurricane as it approaches. Yes, the house burned to the ground, no way to get to it. Besides, in all likelihood this house wouldn’t have survived anyway.




Here’s a shrimp boat in Louisiana that was tossed several feet across the highway.



A truck completely turned over and submerged.



A submerged cemetery.



Here’s a neighborhood in Clear Creek Channel, on the Bolivar Peninsula on Galveston Island, overcome by the gulf.



A road in Bridge High Island, Galveston, that was completely destroyed.



So much sand brought up by the storm that it entombed cars. This is in Gilchrist, another town on the Bolivar Peninsula.




And let’s not forget Winnie, Texas.



But the most astonishing is this picture of a barge that was lifted and tossed 6 miles from its berth in Port Arthur, Texas.



I’m showing you these to give you an idea (if you didn’t already have one) of the sheer force of the winds and power of Hurricane Ike. If it could do this to a truck, shrimp boat, town and even a barge, what could it do to a houseboat moored to a pier in a marina in Galveston?

A man went back to Galveston recently during the island’s look and leave period. Residents were allowed in for a short time during the day (the island is still locked down from dusk to dawn) to check on their homes and property. The car he rode in took him down into Galveston to the marina where his houseboat had been left. He could see other boats smashed up against the walls of nearby apartment houses or in parking lots, like this one.



As they entered the marina, he could also see that other boats were sunk, the tops barely showing above the water. His heart sunk the further they went into the marina. As they rounded a bend he couldn’t believe what he saw. Utter destruction surrounded him, and yet, there tied up to the pier, was his houseboat. Yes, no other boat around it. There was a little bit of water inside and the tarp was torn, but otherwise, his boat was fine. Everything was as he had left it on that Friday when Ike approached. His was the only boat to survive. He spent that day pumping out most of the water before he had to leave. Then the phone call to his father, his father’s phone call to me. You see, that man is my nephew and when we all had thought he had lost everything; he lost nothing except for his car. But you can get another car; you can never replace the sentimental things you own. And he lost none of it.


Yes, there are miracles.

Oh, the winner of Jill Shalvis' two Blazes Flashpoint and Flashback is

roll of drum .....

Brandy!!! You go girl!!

Thank you to everyone that entered. Thank you Yan! Please come back again. And Crystal - great to hear from you again.

See everyone on Wednesday.

Spamcrula

Good morning! (It’s not morning you moron. Oh wait, technically it is I guess.)
Told you. (Don’t rub it in spammy, I can delete you at any time.)
You be late. (Story of my life. What am I late for now?)
What really helpful for a man? (A woman with a map?)
I’ve seen it before. (I very much doubt it, you’re a man …)
I wanted to make a conquest. (Honey, it never hurts to want. Builds character.)
You only deserve the best, get it here. (Hugh is here?)
Wish to add more fire into your bedroom life? (Good grief, the only chance of that happening is if I built a fireplace.)
First Franklin loan. (And John Adams still hasn’t paid it back … )
It’s Susan. (No it isn’t!! You stop that right now!!!)




Oh, and the book contest? Did you really comment 'cuz you want them, or were you just commenting. Kinda hard to tell since no one said anything. There also aren't a lot of "contestants" so I'm going to expand it 'til Monday.

A blog about nothing

Its 4 minutes to 1:00 am. That’s important, ‘cuz I said so. My blog is always posted at 1:00 am every Monday, Wednesday and Friday morning. Always. It’s just that I can’t think of anything to blog about. I know, I’m about as interesting as paint drying. Okay, have you heard the one about the Rabbi and the … oh, you have? Hmmm, well what about Why did Cinderella get thrown out of Disneyland? Oh, wait, I can’t tell that one here, can I? Give me a break will ya? Oh, I know, um, no … that’s really lame.

So, let’s try this a new way. I really do like this time of year, when Texas decides to cooperate and participate in this thing called Fall. Yep, wonderful crisp mornings in the 60s, my kind of temperatures; I can open the windows and turn off the air. The cats like it too, not to mention the mad palpitations my bank account does when it realizes we won’t have to fork over another couple of million for the electric bill. Okay, so I exaggerate, only half a million. Wonderful, that’s even less exciting than paint drying.

I give up. Here, watch this it’s cute. Honest.







Oh, wait!!! I have extra copies of Jill's books Flashpoint and Flashback, her last two Blazes! Anyone want them? All you have to do is comment and I'll draw names. Come on, you know you want to.

My Husband made me wear a lifejacket inside our house

"My Husband made me wear a lifejacket inside our house. Thank God for that, or I wouldn't be here."




2,000 people now want off of Galveston Island, people that refused to evacuate before Hurricane Ike struck. 2,000 very lucky people. Ike was supposed to produce 50 foot waves, an event of such catostrophic proportions that those 2,000 people would have surely died. But they were saved by a miracle. At the last minute the mighty storm made a slight turn and as minute as that movement was it was enough to save their lives. Volunteers scoured the streets the next day, picking up frightened dogs and putting them in the back of pick-up trucks. Neighbors checked on neighbors, family inland worried for their loved ones. But even though Ike didn't produce the mortality rates that were expected, the utter destruction was what most experts predicted.




"I didn't consider my property beachfront property. Now it is."













I'm posting these pictures because I need for you to understand the destruction in Galveston alone, not to mention Houston (the 4th largest city in the U.S., will be closed down for days) and in Southwestern Louisiana, not to mention other parts of the Gulf coast. I need you to know this because I'm going to ask you to do something. The American Red Cross' General Fund is depleted. Hurricane's Gustav and Hanna, plus the tragic collision between a commuter train and a freighter in California, has bled them dry. Could you please, even just a little bit, consider giving to the Red Cross. Thank you.




Houston

American Red Cross

Spam got blown away

Sorry, but as I sat down tonight (this is Thursday evening you know) I really tried to be funny, but I couldn't do it. Not just because today was September 11, but the thought of being funny while my nephew works his way north and out of Ike's reach didn't seem right. Poor Dave. He'll lose everything - if he doesn't it will be a miracle. As I mentioned when Gustav was approaching, he lives on a houseboat in Galveston. A houseboat that he couldn't take out of the water and store somewhere. A houseboat that he had to leave moored at the dock, vulnerable to the furry of what is now a category 2 hurricane. We all know what will win that fight. And knowing Dave like I do, I doubt that he made enough money to carry insurance.

As for us, we're definitely getting rain this time. How much depends upon just where it lands, and how it turns once it does. From what I understand (and remember, another 24 hours until landfall, a lot can change) we'll either get severe storms, tropical storm winds, flooding and tornadoes OR we'll get severe storms (but not as much rain), strong winds and flooding.

And today, September 11. I get real contemplative on this day. I remember where I was, and I remember mother. Sometimes it's like it was yesterday, other times a distant memory.

Oh, the book. I drew names and the winner is Tori!!!!! I'll double check that address with you.

I'm going to leave you now with a little 9/11 tribute. Stay safe, stay well and if you do something interesting take notes - you know I live vicariously through you.

I'm Gonna Give You a Break

It’s been a long time since I had a give-away that I thought it would be fun to do it again. This is the book that I bought at Michelle Mile’s book signing last Saturday. Yes, it is autographed. Here’s a little bit about the book from Amazon.com.

A Break in Time

The truth could set them free or tear them apart forever. Book 2 of the Adventures of Ransom and Fortune. At the mercy of a faulty time machine, Skye Ransom and Dane Fortune are forced to randomly leap through time on a wild, roller-coaster ride of danger as they try to get back to the 21st century. Each jump sends them farther away from home, but brings their hearts closer together in a bond that not even a time bender can sever. Getting back home may be the least of their worries. Warmed by Skye’s love, Dane’s soul struggles against that of the cold, unfeeling man he once was. Skye’s had enough of witnessing history first hand. Yet finally getting home could mean she’ll lose Dane forever. Worshipped by a jungle tribe, thwarted by a mad scientist, and captured by powerful Druids, Skye and Dane face the ultimate test of survival. Even if they get through it alive, will they be able to overcome their strongest enemy to date themselves? Warning: This title contains explicit sex and graphic language.


Yes, it’s book two. I have to admit that I didn’t know that and will have to look around for a copy of book one. Oh well. What do you have to do to win it? You have to tell me one little unusual thing about you, and then I’ll draw names. I’ll start just to make you feel better.

I love spaghetti!! But I tolerate hamburger pizza and hate lasagna. In fact, the only way I’ll eat lasagna is if it’s made with sausage.

Now it’s your turn. You have until 9:00 pm cst Thursday night. I’ll announce the winner Friday. Remember – it’s signed!!!!!

A little map will do ya

So I did something different on Saturday. I went to a book signing! I’d never been to one. Susie and I went – it was Michelle Miles, and she was at the Barnes & Noble at North East Mall in Hurst. I’d never been to Hurst either, at least not on purpose. LOL I got off of work at 1:00 and met Susie at my apartment and then we were off! I had printed out one of those Google driving directions things to help us, as neither one of us really knew where we were going. Have you ever used one of those? They are useless and awfully vague with their directions. But I guess we did okay since we only got lost 3 times. Hmmmm. Anyway, Michelle’s new book is A Break in Time, the second in the Ransom and Fortune Adventure series. (I have got to find a copy of the first one, oops.) So we saw Michelle, Susie bought a copy of her book and I bought two. Why? ‘Cuz I’m going to give an autographed copy of the book away. Not right now, probably Wednesday when I decide how to do it. But I digress … after getting our books, Susie and I had lunch with Ames and Lynn at someplace called Logan’s Roadhouse. Interesting place and the food was good. So was the company. I had forgotten how great it was to hang out with Ames, and how invigorating talking about writing can be. That’s what I’m hoping for with Yellow Rose – the stimulus that I get from being around other writers. It could be just the thing to kick my writing ass into gear.

So, that was my Saturday. Sunday was spent doing nothing and watching the Cowboys whip some Cleveland Browns butt! Altogether a great weekend.

How was yours?

Sleepy Time Spam

Yep, I'm half asleep while typing this. I have absolutely no idea how this will come out - I didn't sleep at all Wednesday night, worked 4 hours on Thursday. Came home and slept for 4 hours and then got up to do this. I am not totally held responsible for the outcome. *snore*

Bomb her womb from your huge cannon! (And the rockets red glare ….)
Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey split. (Duh? Where have you been?)
ONE HAS TO TAKE RISKS SOMETIME IN HIS LIFE! (Yes, and believe me, yelling at me while I’m in this mood is risky)
5 ways to make your love more passinnate. (5 ways to make my inborn love transfer more? Okay.)
Paris Hilton returned by aliens. (Unpublished writer seen chasing down UFOs in the New Mexico Desert)
Did you arouse me last night? (Nope, those were those aliens returning Paris Hilton)
Titanic dimension without much effort. (You are aware that the Titanic sank ….?)
I am searching for you. (Try the aliens)

I Won't Read, don't make me ....

Yep, got that right, for some reason I just can’t make myself read. It’s not like I don’t have anything on the shelves TO read. Far from it. I have two of Jill’s books – the last two Blazes Flashpoint and Flashback, plus Saskia Walker’s newest one that she so graciously sent me, Reckless (waving at Saskia). We won’t even mention the LOAD of books I bought a couple of months ago. Did you read that right? Two Jill Shalvis books sitting unread! I know, scary. I just can’t get into the mood, or whatever is required to read. No writing either (hey JJ, I know I owe you something, I promise its coming!!). I don’t know if it’s the summer blues, my birth sign isn’t in align with the moon, my underwear’s too tight? I don’t know, and I don’t like it. There was a time that it was hard to find me without a book in my hands. I miss reading. I miss writing. I don’t miss rithmetic though …

So, be that as it may (does anyone really know what that means?), I’ve got to get reading. What do you do to help yourself do something that you aren’t in the mood to do? Is there some trick that you have, some special incantation that you throw to the universe? Help me out folks!!

In the meantime, I received this really heartfelt email from Lis. It seems that there are these twins that really need foster care. They need TLC and a lot of attention. Can’t you find it in your hearts to help them out? I’ve signed up for Wednesday’s, I figure it’s the least I could do. And once you look into their sad faces, you too will be unable to turn them away. Please, won't you help foster them?

It's a Labor Day

Labor Day - a holiday created so that some people can labor so that other people who are not laboring can go to stores and make them labor. Right?

Labor Day used to mean a lot to me. I used to watch the Jerry Lewis Telethon way into the night and then the next morning when I woke up. I couldn't miss a minute of it. Big stars performed - I mean big names. Now? They don't even show the whole thing anymore. And stars? I caught it a couple of years ago and it was ... a telethon. No real spectacle any more. They're still raising the money, bless their hearts, but the sparkle is gone. We also used to have family gatherings on Labor Day. Up to 30 people would fill our house, food, laughter, games. On Labor Day evening I will go over to Bebo's for supper. That will be my Labor Day. It's only on holidays, no matter what holiday, that I really understand the fracturing of my family.

Speaking of my family ... my brother David informed me tonight that he will probably be going on oxygen full time now. He really only has one functioning lung because of his strokes. He has pollution caused emphysema. He also has another blocked artory in his neck that will have to be operated on. And speaking of David, read below.

I have a special concern about Gustav and his path. You see my nephew, David's step-son David (don't be confused LOL) lives on a boat in the Galveston Harbor. As the winds approach Texas I can't help but think about him. And worry. His car is broken and he can't leave. 32 years ago when my brother married David's mother, this little 5 year old boy looked up at me and said "When I grow up, I'm going to marry you." He was my first nephew, my first little love. Hey Dave? As you can see, you old Aunt is still waiting. LOL Be safe honey, be safe.

Have a safe and happy Labor Day everyone!