Saturday, September 16, 2006

Mom Update

Some of you have asked how mother is doing, so I thought I would take this step away from all of the frivolity and do a little sober reality check. Mom took a sudden turn for the worse on Friday, September 8, when she decided, out of the blue, to no longer stand up. She would lay in bed and weep and moan, screaming about people being in her room, etc. Erupting into hysterics whenever we tried to sit her up, we perceived what looked like panic attacks. This continued throughout the weekend, with me ending up in exhausted hysteria by Sunday night. We knew at that time that things could not continue status quo. It was decided that my sister – the human barracuda – should talk to the doctor. This woman does not take no for an answer. By Tuesday we had an antidepressant/anxiety medication called Serzone. This has seemed to calm her down a bit – she is no longer lying in bed screaming. She still will not stand. Wednesday we had a visit from the Home Health Nurse who immediately set us up with an aide, social worker and physical therapist. This is on a limited basis since Medicare doesn’t pay for long term care. The aide will help teach me how to take care of a bedfast (the proper term for this) person, like how to change sheets with a person in the bed – no easy task. The social worker is making recommendations to two organizations for relief – The Alzheimer’s association and some government agency whose exact title I can’t remember right now. The best was the physical therapist – although she said that mother may never leave that bed until she dies or goes into a nursing home – she is getting us a wheelchair and is recommending us to an organization which brings a doctor into the home so that we don’t have to struggle to get mother to her doctor. It means changing doctors, but it will be worth it. I am physically and mentally exhausted right now. I haven’t had a nap since Tuesday, a decent one since Monday. I’m running on adrenaline. I’m also in a bit of pain, all of the lifting and turning (we’re looking into a hydraulic lift) of mom, plus the cranking of the bed (only the head and foot parts are electric – to raise the bed you have to crank) is wearing on my shoulder – but raising the bed saves on my having to bend clear over to tend to mom. Soooo, that’s the 411 on the situation here. I’m hoping that things are going to start getting better – it’s too soon to tell how well the Serzone will work, so we’re keeping our fingers crossed on that one. I’m sorry that I haven’t been a regular blogger – I try to hit everyone at least once a week, but it’s hard some days to do any at all. Same with emails. Thank you for bearing with me – cyber hugs to each and every one of you who has supported me. I appreciate it more than you can ever know.

22 comments:

Brandy said...

Bailey, thank you for letting us know how things are going. Of course we wanted to know, we care about you. It sounds like things may be looking up for you in the help department, at least for a while, and the Doctor change sounds like it will be for the best. Get some rest, if possible, but know that we are here for you. We pray for you, we send thoughts your way and above all, we're here if you need to rant to the world or share a moment.
Hugs to you Sweetie.

Fannie said...

I am so sorry about your Mom. It has to be extremely hard for you to see her in this condition. I can't even imagine. Thankfully, you are getting some help. I will keep you in my prayers and your family as well. I hope things even out as much as they can so you can get some rest. You need to take care of you too. Hugs and God Bless.

Lis said...

*huge hugs* Oh sweetie, I'm so sorry things changed so suddenly. Hopefully the new changes (doctor, phys. therapy, ect) will help a lot. Take care of you!!!

Anonymous said...

What Brandy said goes for me, too. Hope the physio and new doc will help a lot more. Wish I could do something more practical, but I'm here if you ever need to talk. Big hugs.

Diane said...

Blogging is hardly a priority for any of us, let alone someone with your responsibilities. It's brilliant that you're getting some sort of help now - however limited it may be. And same as Kate - you know how to get hold of me. (I'm not as busy as I've been but I'm never to busy to be there for a friend in need.) (I hope.)

Thanks for the update.

Saskia Walker said...

:{ Sending hugs. You shouldn't be worrying about mail or blogging, I know it's always light relief when you're under stess, but try to get rest whenever you can. Thinking of you.

Joely Sue Burkhart said...

Bailey, thanks for sharing about your mom and how you feel. More cyber hugs and prayers are zooming your way. ((((hugs))))
Joely

Bailey Stewart said...

Well then it's confession time - there's this little girl inside of me that's afraid that if I don't visit other people's blogs, they won't come and visit me - and I look forward to your cyber hugs, the connection that wards off the loneliness and isolation. Writing this blog, whether it's just a cut and paste thing, gives me something else to focus on for a while instead of what's going on here. That last part is why I don't talk a lot about mom here anymore.

Um Loreth - anything from your list would be nice - and I would just have to put Hugh to work (and I mean that in the non-sexual way people, get your minds out of the gutter).

Bernita said...

My dear, we have endless sympathy for you, don't fret.

Rene said...

I'm so sorry to hear how bad things are. I really hope you get some significant help soon, this is too much for one person to take. And don't worry about the blogging, no one expects you to be right in the middle of it, and since we all understand the situation, we don't expect you to be real active. But we will always come back. I'd rather you took the time to get some rest than bloghop.

Anonymous said...

*hugs* Bailey. I don't think I could do all that you do.

Meretta said...

Sending lots of positive energy your way, Bailey. What you do for your mom isn't easy. Be as kind as possible to yourself.

Christa said...

Great to hear that you are getting some help to ease some of the weight on your shoulders.
(((Bailey)))

Anonymous said...

I got a small dose of that when my mom had surgery a few months ago, and I really feel for you. Thinking of you and hoping things improve ((hug))

Anonymous said...

Thanks so much for the update, Eve. I've been praying for you, hoping that things were going all right with your mom but knowing from experience that they rarely improve dramatically, only that some days you see some improvements and then head back down. My mother was on anti-depressant/anxiety medication as well and also had to have a hydraulic lift to get her out of bed and into her wheelchair. Maybe your mom just feels she doesn't have the strength to stand. After she broke her hip, my mother kept trying to get up and walk but she'd fall and we therefore asked to have her restrained. It's something they'll do only with the agreement of the family. But then, not using her legs made her too weak to stand up, hence the need for the lift after a while.

I haven't been on the Internet much myself lately, especially since I'm in a lot of pain myself. On Wed. the doctor gave me a new pain pill to try. So far he just has samples. I tried one but went back to my original ones in order to get more info on this new one. It seems to have a lot of possible side effects and I'm not sure if I'm to take them regularly or just when things get really bad. The problem is that you don't get enough time to talk to the doctor and I usually need a few minutes at least to "digest" new things but mostly longer. We've got a real shortage of doctors here.

I hope you can get some help for yourself from the visits of "helpers" like a longer or more restful nap. I'm amazed that you are able to keep up your spirits as well as you have on your blog. I felt that you were deliberately not saying much about your mom and therefore I didn't even write you.

I send you and your mom my love, peace, prayers and lots of hugs. I think you're incredibly brave. May God give you all the strength and pain-relief that you need. And I definitely will not forget to pray for both of you. So count on us for support when you need it. I'm sure most of your other friends feel the same way.

Toni Anderson said...

Bailey, I can see you doing all the things you are doing because my brother had to do them for his wife. The lifting, the cranking. You must look after yourself and get all the help you can. It must be the hardest job in the world.

Nobody will forget about you, we are all busy people but all want to help in any way we can. Don't fret pet. You're not alone.

Carol M said...

This is so hard for you to go through. I'm glad you are getting some help. I hope things get better. Rest when you can. Big Hugs!

catslady said...

Yours is the First blog I go to when I start my blogging time.

Hope the assistance you get can help you through these times {{hugs}}

Wolfy said...

I am sorry for everything that you have to go through, and hope that the assistance you are going to get will ease the load for you a bit........((((Hugs))))

Cryna

anne frasier said...

bailey, just popped in and read this. *big hug*

Daisy Dexter Dobbs said...

I’m so very sorry, Bailey. {{Big hugs}} Check your email when you get a chance. I sent you a long message.

Anonymous said...

I've been away from the blog for several days so I'm just getting around to reading this. I'm so sorry to hear things are deteriorating so quickly now. I'm still close by and welling to come help with mom if she will accept me sitting with her. I know in the last couple of years with my grandma, anything or anyone out of the ordinary would really upset her. I am glad to hear you're getting social services help. Hang in there friend. (((hugs)))