Sunday, May 14, 2006

A Letter to My Mother

Dear Mom,

I know you will never read this. In fact, if you were, I doubt you would even understand what I'm saying. But I'm going to write this anyway. You have always been my strength, my protector, my teacher and my friend. I've always felt that our relationship was special, I know it's a lot different than your relationship with Cathie, Howard and David. I'm the baby. I'll always be your baby no matter how old I get. And you'll always be my mother no matter how far you drift from the mother I knew. You have been such an important part of my life - everything that is good about me comes from you: my morals, my values, and my ideals. You taught me empathy, fairness, compassion - that we are all the same no matter our creed, race, gender, political affiliation, etc. Music and reading, the passions of my soul - those were your passions - you gave them to me, and in doing so opened up so many worlds, viewpoints; and a wealth of knowledge that no university could teach. You know what my earliest memories of you are? Creaking bones. I know that sounds like a rather unusual memory - and definitely not a fond one, but that's what it is. I remember being very small and laying across your chest with my head on your shoulder. I could hear your bones creaking as you breathed. It was comforting, soothing. Your voice crooning lullabyes, that's another memory. Your soothing voice as you read to me. Everything of my childhood comes back to you. I miss our long talks. I miss going to you and saying "Mom, I have a problem". And you would take it from me and make it better. You can't now. I take care of your problems. I don't think you realize how much I miss you - you're not capable of that understanding. But I wanted you to know that no matter what happens to you, you're still my mother. I love you.

Your Daughter,
Evelyn


(If you would like to move on to the lighter side of motherhood - look at the post below.)

31 comments:

Olga said...

Eve, that was so beautiful! It almost made me cry. Big hugs to you and your mother. What you've been doing is amazing, as amazing as you are, and I'll always be grateful I've met you. My best wishes and admiration.

Shirley said...

Eve, that's so beautiful it *did* make me cry.
I can't even begin to imagine how difficult all this is for you. Such a sad situation. Hugs.

Bailey Stewart said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Bailey Stewart said...

This is why I try not to comment before coffee. Let's try this again.

Olga - I'm glad I met you too. Thank you.

Shirley - I wasn't going to do the sad post,just the funny stuff. But it kept calling to me, so I caved in and did it. And I did cry.

Dennie McDonald said...

so very sweet! not s'posed to cry in the morning - before coffee...

Sandy J said...

Eve, that was wonderful! I cried when I read it. I miss my mom. She has been gone since Nov 2002. She wasn't a good mother until the later years of her life when she realized it and tried to make up for it. I admire you for taking care of your mom as you are doing.

Bailey Stewart said...

Thanks Sandy. Isn't anybody (other than Diane) reading the funny stuff in the next post?

bebo said...

I read the funny stuff & the sad stuff & I love them both. I love your mother dearly, and seeing her like this breaks my heart every day. But I'm also very very glad that I have had the opportunity to have her and you in my life.
I love you.

Bailey Stewart said...

I love you too.

Susan said...

I read the funny stuff first, that had me laughing. Then I read the beautiful letter to your mom, which left me with tears in my eyes. You are a very special person and now I know whom you get it from. Hugs

Toni Anderson said...

Poor baby. But I know she knows, somewhere deep inside, she still knows all this stuff. And that sort of love is worth more than time.

poor baby. Happy Mother's Day Eve's mom.

Bailey Stewart said...

Susan and Toni - if nothing else, I hope this inspires people to talk to their parents today - not just mom - because we never know what might happen. There are no laters.

Glenice said...

OK so I have read both...I read this one first and then the other, since I was already there I made my comments...

Of course being the emotional sap that I am I cried at both!!!!

You are a wonderful daughter, Mary is truly blessed to have you!!! Bebo too for that matter :)

Bless all of you Moms and those who are caring for theirs!

Love to you Evelyn :) I know how much you like this name!

Bailey Stewart said...

Yeah, but the letter was to mom and she won't call me Eve. And I'm the one that's been blessed.

Bailey Stewart said...

Oh, and I love you too Glenice!

Brandy said...

Oh, Eve. What a sweet and heartfelt letter. I have a feeling that in her heart she knows, her mind may be going, but her heart will always know the love for her child and her child's for her. You are a wonderful, brave woman. Happy Mother's Day to you for being the Mother to your Mother, and to your Mother.

Bailey Stewart said...

Happy Mother's Day to you Brandy - I know that today is hard for you too. Know that your mother, even though she is gone, knows the kind of mother you have turned out to be. Love to you.

Peggy said...

Nicely written, Eve. Your mom, I'm sure, would love it. You're a great daughter and caretaker. Enjoy your day with her and I hope more Mother's Days to come.

Bailey Stewart said...

Thanks Peggy - I hope you have a great Mother's Day too.

Glenice said...

Woohoo! I am done working finally!!! 6:15 was pretty early this morning...but I am finally finished for the rest of the day!!!

I plan on enjoying a good book--one of Jo's :) and the warm sun for the next hour or so, the I have to get ready to go over to some friends for an early dinner, BBQ steak and sweet potatoes :) MY FAVORITE :)

Talk to you tomorrow my dear friend!!!

Martyn said...

That was one of the most power and beautifully posts I have ever read. It came direct from the heart and conveyed so much.

Rene said...

What a lovely letter. You are so fortunate to have such good memories to hold during the rough times.

Bailey Stewart said...

tomorrow Glenice - enjoy your BBQ.

Martyn - thank you.

Rene - Yes, there are a lot of good memories.

Kelley said...

Wow! What a beautiful letter to your mom. Heres to a happy mothers day to your mom!

Bailey Stewart said...

Kelley - Thanks. She enjoyed her cards and presents, but has spent most of the day parked in front of the TV watching GSN. I am planning to take her out to lunch on Tuesday.

Michele said...

Eloquent and heart-touching.
Thank you for sharing these words of love for your Mom.

I hope you had a wonderful day with her ...

After all that packing and moving this weekend, I bet you're bushed.
Get some rest. You've earned it. At least you weren't doing it in pouring rain - under flood watch..oh joy.

Scott said...

This was... Wow. You really put me in a frame of mind, to remember what I should be saying to my mom right now. Thank you.

catslady said...

Everyone has said it all - extremely touching. I am very lucky that I still have my mother who is 83 and healthy. Hugs, Eve.

Bailey Stewart said...

Michele - Thank you. Yes, I'm bushed and beyond. I hope you had a good day too.

Scott - You're welcome. I hope it put everyone in a frame of mind as to what they should be saying to their mother's right now.

Jeanne - Yes indeed, you are very lucky. Love to your mother.

Joely Sue Burkhart said...

Truly beautiful, Eve. I love it.

Susie said...

What a beautiful letter. You honor your mother with those words and I know she would really appreciate knowing the depth of your love. You have been richly blessed and now you have the opportunity to give back. May the Lord continue to richly bless your relationship with your mom.