You've got to put down the duckie, put down the duckie. You've got to put down the duckie if you want to play the saxophone. Sesame Street (or something close to that)
No, I haven't switched from TV theme songs to Sesame Street. Neither have I totally lost my mind. This is another one of my "bear with me" blogs. I know, two in a row - what is the world coming to? Since I am Queen of my blog and the Center of Christa's World I can pretty much put here what I want to, right? LOL
I was standing on the ramp Saturday morning enjoying my 15 minutes of 6:00 a.m. quiet when this song popped into my head. Now, I was too old for Sesame Street when it first aired, but I did learn some songs a couple of years later in children's choir at church when we strung some together for some concert (I love trash, anything dirty or dingy or dusty, anything ragged or rotten or rusty - sorry, but that was dedicated to the Duchess of Wit). And I learned a few more when babysitting my nephew Dylan (who will be 16 this June - say it isn't so) because one of his favorite tapes was a Sesame Street sing-along tape. This song was on it. It's hysterical because the video is done by celebrities like Rhea Perlman and Danny DeVito, and Jeremy Irons. It's my favorite. So anyhoo, there I was in the quiet of morning singing Put Down the Duckie in my head (I blame it on watching the Daytime Emmy Awards the night before where Carol Spinney received a life-time achievement award for portraying Big Bird and the Grouch - yay Carol!) and I finally got it! I don't know if this was the composers meaning, but I interpret it as saying that a child has to put down the duckie (security blanket, etc) before they can go on into the next step in childhood development. This is very nice Eve, er Your Highness, but what does this have to do with us. I'm glad you asked. I have a duckie. Oh not literally - although I do have a couple of very sweet stuffed bunnies that Olga sent me. But I have something that I have clung to and has kept me from going on in my life. My fear of mistakes. It became such a big part of my life that it contributed largely to my agoraphobia. I was ridiculed and made fun of by my family for making mistakes and I just came to believe that everyone would do the same thing to me. I literally would panic at having to write something down that others might see in case I made a mistake. Kind of crippling when you're trying to become an author, isn't it? That's one of the reasons I started blogging, so that I could make mistakes, pick myself up and keep going. I'm not quite there yet, but it's easier now than it was a year ago. I've just got to learn that its okay to put down my duckie and move on. What about you? Is there a "duckie" in your life, something that you cling to that holds you back from achieving your goals?
UPDATE: Case in point. I did my review of Aussie Rules tonight for B&N (I had actually thought I'd already done it a few weeks ago, but the Devlin stuff messed me up), so I quickly wrote it and posted it. It's not one of my best reviews, but I leave those for Amazon as I think they are more important. Anyway, I was closing down Word (I do them there first so that I can catch all of the mistakes with spell-check) when it hit me. There was my duckie looking me square in the face and quacking madly. I had meant to type the word "in" but somehow missed the "n" (that's because it's worn off - sorry, blog post flashback) and Word had changed it to the capital "I" so that spell-check didn't snag it. Now I'm in duckie panic. I know it's a simple mistake, that everyone makes them - the intellectual part of me knows that, but the slug inside is just cringing with horror. It's there for all of the world to see and I'll brood about it for stomach churning weeks, but there's nothing I can do about it now. I just have to get over it, won't I?
45 comments:
Hey, who would want to live in a mistake-free world? How boring would that be?
Put that duckie down and wave goodbye to it.
Well, Eve, you hit the nail on the head. I've been taught to be a perfectionist as to what I do. I know that I'm good at grammar and things like that, but lousy at interpersonals relationships. I'm afraid of talking to people too. But some of these things I'll write later. Did you get my one e-mail? Not the gmail one. I haven't got up the time or courage to finish that yet.
You know, honestly your blog is great. I love your humor, your way of saying things and wish I could be as "loose" as you, if you get what I mean. But as I indicated, I'll go into those things a little in the other e-mail. It's hard for me to let go of my perfectionism. I forget who owes me money but very rarely do I forget if I owe someone any.
You really are a super person and don't worry about mistakes. We all really do make them one way or another--not always in the same areas of life but we all make doozies. So don't worry about your writing, honestly. You're doing better than a lot of others. It's just too bad that some people think that they have a right to scoff at other people's mistakes and problems. And really that is what is so upsetting. I know it only too well from my own experience.
Explanation will follow soon.
Hugs and prayers continue. We can all always use those, right?
Hey, this is weird. What is the handicapped sign at the end of the word verification field doing here? I don't remember ever seeing it before. How absolutely strange!
Eve, the duckie will be fine alone. You are a great woman. And like all great women mistakes are made. I small spellheck error will not end the world. Let it go. (Easier said than done I know). I'm rambling, but I just want to you to know we support you no matter what mistakes are made, great or small.
Aww, thanks y'all.
Ruby - I noticed the handicap sign too. If you click on it it will tell you the letters to type - for the blind I guess. But what I want to know is, how do the blind know its there?
And Ruby - no I haven't received any emails from you lately.
But only Ruby said she had a duckie, sort of. Does anyone else have a duckie of any kind?
My duckie? Fear of failure. I don't like to play games I can't win, so writing is a big unknown. But I'm doing it--and you are too :)
GAAAHHHH! THIS IS PERFECT!!
I HAVE THE PERFECT LINK FOR YOU TO SEE ABOUT DUCKS !!
IT IS SO RELEVENT IT IS SCARY!!
QUICK LOOK HERE! LOOK HERE!!
DCUK
Feel better now?
Oh that's cute. Thanks Michele.
Wow, this is an excellent post. We certainly do have duckies, and putting them down can be a nightmare. Good for you, Eve -- you recognized it and you're acting on it!! That's more than half the battle.
Peggy - I hope we do to.
Joely - thanks chickie.
While I was growing up I had like 7 big garbage bags full of stuffed animals, I got rid of most of them but my son makes sure I don't get rid of Alf or Gizmo.
I watched part of the Daytime Emmys too. Rick Springfield is still hot. Sesame Street won a lot of awards, so technically that is song is from a multy(sp?) winning award show. It's probably more popular than It's Hard Being a Pimp from the Oscars.
I can remember the words to probably ten Sesame Street songs from when I was a kid. I had a record collection that I wore need grooves into. Somebody Come and Play, It's Not Easy Being Green, C is for Cookie, The Ladybug's Picnic, I've Got Two Eyes, I Love Trash--to name a few. I once did a puppet show in third grade featuring the latter song. I guess we never really grow up.
Alright Eve! Look that duckie in the eye and tell it to get lost!! Every liability is an asset taking to the extreme. Why do I say this? There's nothing wrong with striving for perfection as long as we remember it is an ideal, not a destination. I agree with Shirley, perfection is boring. A major "crash and burn" from time to time makes for good foddy for a great story. Once the bumps and bruises have healed, a cool scar is left behind to testify to an adventurous spirit.
Risk standing out in a crowd. This is my duckie. Being 5'10", of polynesian decent (1/2 Samoan) and of above average intelligence, blending into the background isn't really an option for me. All I ever wanted to be growing up was like everyone else. But I was always the tallest kid in class. While not really trying that hard in school, I manage to make Jr. Nat'l Honor Society, Nat'l Honor Society and graduate with honors from HS. In college, it was easier to blend in and, in that environment, I thrived. After college and during my 1st marriage, I fell back into old patterns. But after that marriage fell apart, I went into therapy, went back to school and discovered my mental tapes were out dated and held me down. I learned to like myself and the unique, beautiful, intelligent soul that I am. I became more willing to take the risks to step out of my comfort zone to discover what an exciting world we live in. I'm still cautious by nature, but I'm not willing to let that keep me from getting out there where life happens. Give me a good challenge and I'll find a way to meet it.
Thanks for the topic.
My duckie is the fear of hurting people's feelings. I think that is why it took me so long to ever post on a blog. I am always afraid that someone will take what I say the wrong way. The fear makes it hard for me to talk to people in person too.
I am working on it and you have helped me so much by being so open, welcoming and friendly!
My duckie: Falling on my a$$ - literally & figuratively. As the world's biggest klutz, that's a real fear for me, and having brittle bones too - well, lets just say I've learned to hide my embarassment behind a wall of sarcastic comments about my collection of casts & splints & braces. (24 broken bones to date)
But I'm afraid to walk out there on the stage of life & fall on my a$$ too. People will point & laugh, and what if this time when I fall, I really can't get up? So I refuse to use my creativity to support my life, and instead I concentrate on getting a "real" job & keep the stories just for me.
After all, no one can point & laugh when I fall if they can't see me.
Scott - I know It's Not Easy Being Green and of course I Love Trash - but I don't know the other ones. Care to "sing" a little?
Susie - I thrived in college too, believe it or not. In case you can't remember, I wasn't that academic in H.S. but boy did I hit the mother lode in college. I guess part of it was being away from the people who had grown up with me and had expectations that I wouldn't "know" anything. I was a clean slate. I wish I were still there. Oh, and btw, it's not that much easier being short either.
Susan - we're a little alike except mine is more just being taken the wrong way period, and the fear of saying something stupid. We'll work on it together.
Bebo - that's it - I can't make mistakes if no one sees them. You write well, but if you'd rather work and help keep me in the lifestyle in which I'd love to be, I'm not gonna push it LOL
Okay bloggers, for some funny reason all of the email alerts for everyone after Christa went to my bulk file. You'd better check those before you hit delete.
My ducky? Upsetting someone. Hurting someone's feelings. Someone not liking me. Making someone unhappy.
Sounds like I need a therapist, LOL
In college, I actually had to work to get good grades. Which is why at UNT my grades dropped because it was just as important to play (sometimes more important) as to study.
And yes, not having the parental unit standing over my shoulder shaking her finger, the perfect child cut loose and went wild.
It's funny, I love(d) being tall but didn't want to stick out in a crowd. A lot of the time growing up, I felt like I had a split personality. The competitive, over acheiver that is always right and then the shy, little girl that just wanted to fit in.
Okay - it's continuing - Sandy went to bulk (it's a good thing I check those), so if you have blogger - check your bulk files because I don't know if it's yahoo or blogger doing it.
Sandy - that seems to be a common thread too. That's a part of co-dependency where "we" worry about how our actions are going to effect others to the point that it stymies us. I haven't learned how to do it either, but I'm getting there.
Susie - Love ya.
Let it GO!!!
The mistakes I have made!!!! I'm not even confessing half of them. Forget them. Assume they never happened and move on!!!!
As for writing--yes, you are crippled if you need perfection, you will never finish a book if you need perfection. It doesn't need to be perfect, just a damn good story!! SEP--channeling her now :D
My duckie is fear of conflict. I hate getting into arguments or anything with other people. The result is I don't get what I want and I get angry. Bad for my blood pressure.
Don't worry about those mistakes, no one expects perfection. If they do, well, that's what the middle finger is for.
I am pretty sure you got the song right - haven't heard it in a while - the 4yo old won't watch it any more - older borthers y'know!
Great post Eve. I think I have several duckies and they thoroughly enjoy holding me back (though if my dad ever read that I'd deny it till the end of time) but, let's see, perfectionist, fear of falling of failure, fear of ridicule (10 yrs of being harassed at school will do that to a gal). All make being a wannabe writer oh so fun.
And on the sesame street topic, I've got that 2 record set of Sesame Street songs. Had the coconut song in my head for days. Can't think who sang it though.
I loved Sesame Street. Still do.
My duckie is a fear of failure. BUT I'm teaching myself that if you don't try, you won't win, and it's not the goal anyway, it's the journey. So therefore, I try. And try again. And again if I need to.
And I think that as writers we are often quite hard on ourselves when we make an error in grammar or spelling, thinking our peers will instantly judge us as being less than we are. If they do, that's their loss, because everyone makes a mistake sooner or later.
How can it tell me what letters to write. I don't have any sound!
And you're right, if you're really blind, you can't even read the blogs, never mind try to decipher their verification.
Or perhaps some disembodied voice reads all the blogs to them?
Well, I guess some letters are hard to decipher in the wiggly print that they use for verification. I wonder who asked for something like this? I'd think the blogs and comments would be too hard to read for someone who has that much trouble deciphering the verification.
BTW, fear of failure is probably one of everybody's worst fears. In many ways I'm less scared of dying than of living.
Well, Susie, I except for the height, you and I were a lot alike I guess. I never had to work very hard either. My main way to learn has usually been to act like a sponge in class. All the kids knew not to bother me while the teacher was talking. I loved to learn. That sure made me popular! Not. I'd always been shy as well. So I didn't really go all out to make friends. I was probably the only girl in HS that didn't go to any of the dances and things.
By the time I actually got to university after living in Europe for 2 years to learn languages and trying to get to the U. of Geneva, I'd discovered I could definitely fail at things.
That's why I find Eve's blog entry so enlightening and lightening as well. I can allow myself to fail. I think this may make a big difference to me in the coming months as I try a new venture. The readers of the blog will get to hear about it. Promise. In fact, I'll need your input and help.
Thanks, Eve, in seeing beyond the surface of the duckie, you gave meaning to something that at least I was not aware of. Yeah, that's how "intelligent" I am. I think anyway that everyone has his own kind of intelligence just as I've learned that people can seem to be totally fearless and have a fear that's not easily seen while others seem very timid and can sometimes outdo those who seem to be fearless.
Susan: I have that same fear of hurting someone, anyone. Maybe because I've been hurt once too often. I don't know. And yet it's true that you can hurt the ones who are closest to you the most. I think most of us can attest to that fact.
Sandy, yeah, that should have been said to you. What with Susan and Susie and Sandy and Shirley, no wonder I'm getting mixed up.
I think that if we have any feelings, anyone who has been hurt by others is almost "deathly" afraid of doing the same. I know that is what I've always been afraid of too. It's the pain of criticism--which is unwarranted (or we at least feel it is) that makes us afraid to hurt others. We *know* what it's like.
I'd better go to the library or else I'll be commenting the rest of the day.
Toni - I know, I know *gg*
Rene - LOL, yeah I have the fear of conflict too. Keeping things in isn't good for anyone.
But Dennie isn't the video with the song just hilarious?
Lis - I won't tell your dad, honest. *g*
Meretta - I'm pretty sure it's the fear of grammar that started this one. Actually, punctuation. And I don't have the energy or the brain power (honest - it's caretaker syndrome) to learn it now.
Ruby - as with Meretta, the fear of failure is a quite common one.
duckie duckie sat on the wall!!!
My philosophy...what's one more mistake...I have made so many!
I guess that I am lucky in such that I am not a perfectionist...good thing since I am such a slob! :)
My biggest duckie...as much as I love meeting new people...it terrifies me that I will say or do something stupid-which is pretty much everyday!
Working with clients I am always afraid I am going to say something really bad...my mind goes WAY faster than my mouth, which by the way moves at lightening speed! hee hee
how do they know where to click??? that is a good question...move your mouse down..down...a little more...now up...left...left...right...left..down...left...right...hee hee
Why thank you Loreth! Intellectually I know that everyone makes mistakes. It's just that child inside that has a hard time with it.
Loved the headline *gg*
Just had something happen that I'll blog about tomorrow.
Glenice - bad girl! *gg* Oh yeah, the old foot in the mouth disease.
Oh I must have a whole pond of duckies. Such as if it can't be done perfectly, don't do it at all. I'm guessing it goes back to no self esteem and never being able to get past childhood hurts. I love your blog :)
My Duckie? Fear of making others upset, in any way. I don't know how to get over this one. Thanks for your post today.
Jeanne - Thank you. I have that problem too. My father would point out everything that I did wrong - there was no "good try" to it. So I learned that if you couldn't do it right, don't even bother. The things that parents do to their children. *sigh*
Brandy - only you can work on that one. It's a hard one to conquer. For me, it depends on how much I care about the person.
My apologies , Eve
For what? What's going on? I didn't notice anything wrong.
*sigh*
I guess my duck is a vampire duck. It has a name: depression.
It hit me.
I didn't realize it.
I interpreted something that I guess only existed in my mind.
my apologies again, this time for worrying you.
forget it.
sorry.
Hey, you changed again! Love it!
Oh, BTW, I did send you my snail mail addy. Went to your profile and clicked on email me. will try it again!
I will always try to change the avatar for you Sandy. Looks like rain gear tomorrow.
Didn't get the first one - but the second one did get here. That's odd.
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