This is a true story - as hard as that is to believe *gg*
A woman had died in January, but her bank had billed her for their annual service charges for February and March on her credit card, and then added late fees and interest on the monthly charge. The balance had been $0.00 but was now around $60.00.
A family member placed a call to the bank.
Family Member: "I am calling to tell you that she died in January."
Bank: "The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply."
Family Member: "Maybe, you should turn it over to collections."
Bank: "Since it is two months past due, it already has been."
Family Member: So, what will they do when they find out she's dead?"
Bank: "Either report her account to the frauds division or report her to the credit bureau, maybe both!"
Family Member: "Do you think God will be mad at her?"
Bank: "Excuse me?"
Family Member: "Did you just get what I was telling you, the part about her being dead?"
Bank: "Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor."
Supervisor gets on the phone:
Family Member: "I'm calling to tell you, she died in January."
Bank: "The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply."
Family Member: "You mean you want to collect from her estate?"
Bank: (Stammer) "Are you her lawyer?"
Family Member: "No, I'm her great nephew." (Lawyer info given)
Bank: "Could you fax us a certificate of death?"
Family Member: "Sure." (fax number is given)
After they get the fax: Bank: "Our system just isn't set-up for death. I don't know what more I can do to help."
Family Member: "Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing her. I don't think she will care."
Bank: "Well, the late fees and charges do still apply."
Family Member: "Would you like her new billing address?"
Bank: "That might help."
Family Member: "Odessa Memorial Cemetery, Highway 129, Plot Number 69."
Bank: "Sir, that's a cemetery!"
Family Member: "What do you do with dead people on your planet?"
I'm busy packing and trying to get some writing done, so you may get some more of this stuff. Don't forget that Friday is Spamarama Friday!
Also, Michele is going through a family crisis - lots of good thoughts and prayers her way.
UPDATE: It's 3 o'freakin' 04 in the morning. I am toast. About 3 hours of sleep until the alarm goes off. I have to go to Wallyworld and then to Office Depot for an ink cartridge. I'm about to run out and I will not write without being able to print it out, I learned that lesson a long time ago. Then I have got to have a nap before work or I won't make it through the evening. We know how Thursday nights are for me, so I will be dead by Friday morning. I have a lot of packing to get done - this is not how I had planned to spend Wednesday night.
Reluctant Reunion, Lonestar Reunion, Lonestar Seduction or whatever it's called word count: 11,517
Tonight's word count: 1,505
A good nights sleep: I'm too busy laughing at that one.
32 comments:
I love this one!! " Our system is not set up for death". (as a side note, I've done this, and the conversation is eerily familiar!) Good luck with the packing, and am really looking forward to Spamarama Fiday!!
People think in a box. They cannot think beyond a certain parameter. I have an SIL that's like that. It would be annoying but it is so fun to set her up.
That is hilarious. Talk about jobsworth.
Brandy - yes, we went through something similar when Dad died. Just too crazy.
Rene - I bet that's fun.
Diane - I knew you'd like this one.
Oh, I love that!
Man that is classic. It's unbelievable how automated organizations have become that nobody can act outside of the system.
Poor thing--I can't operate on that little sleep! I do love your story, though--not set up for death. I guess we can lump credit cards in with taxes.
H! Eve!Thanks so much for your well wishes.
We didn't receive any phone calls during the night, so that is VERY good news.
Its estimated that when -firm when - she pulls through, she'll be in the hospital for weeks.
This whole situation is bizarre. Your thoughts mean a lot. Thank you!
On to lighter fair, a good friend sent this to me. Considering how tired you are, the impending move and lack of sleep, I hope this drags even a tiny tired smile from you:
Please join me in remembering a great icon of the entertainment community. The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and trauma complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71.
Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin.
Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch.
The grave site was piled high with flours.Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded. Doughboy rose
quickly in show business,but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times he still was a crusty old man and was considered a
positive roll model for millions.Doughboy is survived by his wife Play Dough, tw ochildren, John Dough and Jane Dough, plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop Tart.The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.
They always tell us not to play with our food. :-)
See Brandy's blog comments about the surprise visiter I had.
Dang, it's a small world ...
That's a very good one! I don't know how you manage on so little sleep! I need at least 7 hours!
"What do you do with dead people on your planet?" um - yup - says it all...
Prayers to Michele
Sorry 'bout the sleep hun!
Shirley - it cracked me up.
Scott - It's a classic all right.
Marty - I don't operate to well either.
Michele - hope everything continues to go well. Loved the "obit". And I saw your comment, went and read his comment. Cool!
Carol - I need 7 hours too, which is why I write late in the night and then sleep half of the day. That will change when mom needs constant watching - no more naps.
Dennie - I thought it did too.
Peggy - I don't think there's going to be any planning in it - only that I plan to wait until I get home from my errands first. *gg*
Very funny. I hate paperpushers. I hate not being able to do stuff, because "I'm not the named person who set up the account" No I just pay the bugger every month!
Grr, banks, insurance. PITA :D
You know, I think I talked to a couple of these people after Howard died. On the other hand, the word "deceased" stopped a lot of the collection agencies - ahem - dead in their tracks.
You can only shake your head & wonder indeed what planet they sprung from.
Take part of that nap for me, will ya?
Eve
I loved the part about the mailing address.
Thanks for the laugh, which I desperately needed.
2 years after my Dad has died, I'm still dealing with his stuff. Especially through the government. They are the worst offenders!
I loved this. I believe we dealt with the same bank when my grandad died. LOL
Here's hoping you get in a good nap today. Congrats on the the writing!
ROFL! Organizations' lack of common sense, for lack of a better term, just amazes me.
*hugs* on the lack of sleep.
Toni - grrrrr is right.
Bebo - I'll try. Eating lunch now,then have to give mom her pills and then maybe bed.
Christa - can you imagine? They should set one of those mailboxes on a pole right there just for the heck of it. *gg*
Jill - you give me a giggle every day, so I'm glad to return the favor.
Meretta - the government? I can just imagine, yikes!
Susan - Thank you. And thank you also for my giggle *gg*
Tori - I'm toast. Dragging my rear there pretty soon.
Oh my God! Thanks for that story! That was hilarious (and sad).
I compare it to zero tolerance (zero brains). No one wants to take responsibility for anything or have to actually "think" for themselves.
PITA :D - Toni, you are taking one of my cat's name in vain lol.
Sorry about the lack of sleep. I do it to myself because I'm a night owl and prefer staying up late. Unfortunately the real world always interfers.
Oh my gosh! Creditors can be crazy. Thanks, Eve! And get some rest!
I don't know if this nap has made it better or worse. Now I have one of those lack of sleep headaches.
Jason - yeah, its kind of sad. But I prefer the funny side of it.
Jeanne - you named one of your cats after bread? *gg*
Kelly - I'm trying, really I am. But you can't always pick when the muses come calling.
Good grief ! What a story :-0
THAT IS TOO FUNNY!!
Sir that's the cemetery...HERE'S YOUR SIGN! Amazing isn't it!
hush little baby, don't say a word...mama's goin'to buy you a mockingbird...shhhh....
OH WAIT! you are already at work now! WAKE UP! :) hee hee
That was cute. And scary. I am sure they vote, too.
Sorry about not getting enough sleep.
That was a good one. :)
Martyn - Hey! Yeah, it's a goodie.
Glenice - shut up *gg*
Sandy - ugh, I hadn't thought about voting!
Jordan - I'm glad you enjoyed it.
*g* loved it. I think I've dealt with some of those people. System not set up for that rofl
Hope your Thursday night went quick :o)
I'm with Tony. I have on many occasions been denied info on an account I pay because my name isn't actually on the account. It can be very frustrating.
Well, we made it to Friday. Have a good day.
If this is what's it's like when your mother dies and has an account you don't know about, I'm glad I had power of attorney before my mother died. I could just imagine the conversation if I'd answered where she is now with "Heaven."
Bank: "Heaven where?"
Me: "What do you mean 'Heaven where'?"
Bank: "The one in Idaho, or Nevada, or New York, there's a town called 'Heaven' in almost every state."
Me: "I don't mean here on Earth. I mean God's Heaven. The one mentioned in the Bible."
Bank: "Oh, well. Never heard of it before, but which state is that in?"
That's a good one Ruby.
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